How can I get rid of my desire to have a relationship (at least for now)?

[pinkjess]

I just turned 23 and all I have been thinking about is wishing I could have a relationship. I never had a boyfriend ever (much to everyone's surprise!) heck, I barely have any girl friends. I was homeschooled and don't have good social skills. I also have health issues and I know it wouldn't be a good idea for me to have one, but that still doesn't take away my desire.

I'm not sure if it's because of loneliness per se, or if I am scared of being "alone" later in life. I know I am not alone because I have Jesus and I consider Him my best friend, but by alone I mean physically. I want a partner on earth to go through life with, do stuff with, etc. it'd be nice.

I also keep obsessing over this one guy who I liked but never got to know. I asked God about it and I feel He told me to let it go. Time went on and I'm still stuck on it. I am learning more to trust God, but sometimes I will have a dream about him and wake up thinking about it all over again. It's getting annoying. When I pray I can't help but remember this person and I know God sees and it's kind of embarrassing. I should have let it go by now, but I keep getting thoughts of him.

I know God's ways are higher, and I believe He wants me to focus on getting my GED and a job and finding a church home for now. But what can I do when I start wishing I had a boyfriend? I am okay with the fact that I may be single for God's purposes (and I actually want to in a way) but I'm also unsure of what I really want. It's hard to know what God wants me to do about this. I want to pray with a pure heart to God, and not a foolish heart overflowing with wrong desires that are not in His will at the moment. It's distracting me.

 

[chapmic]

Hey,

I know how you feel, before I met my wife my friends would tease me about not having a serious long term girlfriend. At one point, I was worried I would never find anyone. Eventually God helped me get to a point where I was at peace myself. I decided I would not put my energy into finding a date, but focus on figuring out my own identity. I couldn't let my self-esteem depend on whether I was dating someone or not. When I finally stopped actively searching for someone, is the same time I met my wife. Being with her was different because I felt like I did not have to "work hard" to get her to love me. Our love for each other was pure and effortless, and you can have that too. Sometimes we just have to wait on God's timing. I needed to be at a point where I was at peace and secure with myself before I could date my wife, and God was wise enough to develop me at the right time. Hope this helps! I will be praying for you!

 

[John Davidson]

It is normal to desire a relationship. There is nothing wrong with these feelings.

I would accept these feelings and remain open to finding a boyfriend.

 

[shelley1952]

Hi, I totally agree with chapmic. I watched the same thing with a friend of mine, she wanted to be married and have a family so bad thats all she thought about. Once she became a christian at first that didnt change but when she finally got settled down and turned her focus on the Lord and started a building a relationship with Him He then brought someone to her. Yes it is normal to want a relationship and no there isnt anything wrong with that UNLESS you are placing more thought and attention on that than on the Lord then you have things out of order. Work on your relationship with the Lord, study, pray and when He knows the time is right, He will bring the RIGHT person to you. Relationships and marriage are not always easy even for Christians but those that wait on the Lord have a way, way better chance of making it through the tough times. Since you didnt have the chance to be as socialized as some then you may not realize some of the dangers out there, but the Lord does. Wait on the Lord and trust Him. Again, I think you got some good advice from chapmic. I will send a prayer too, God bless

 

[Goodbook]

Put the Lord first, and the desire will lessen.
I don't know what you think about when you obsess, but I found secular pop songs and tv distracting because it always focussed on other peoples romances and longings, (even made up ones) not Him. So instead of idly listening to them or watching rom-coms for example, I read the Bible, and watch documentaries. Or find another activity that the Lord wants me to do.

 

[Greg J.]

Needing to be in good relationships is not something that will go away completely. It is part of human nature (and God nature, too). However, the pain of not being in good relationships can go down over time. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. Consider Jesus your husband. Persist in asking him for what you need and want. Be obedient to experience the blessings he wants to give you.