Guilt About Not Going to Church?

[sjdean]

Is it that I feel guilty, or am I just becoming obsessive compulsive?

Last week I couldn't attend the church service due to a bad chesty cough. Im still getting over it, and got a mild cough, but I don't think there's any infection there.

I don't want to sit through a service coughing my guts up, not that I will, I don't know, but I don't want to take that risk. But Im sitting here 15 minutes to the start of the service fretting and worrying and I know Im going to feel bad when I hear the church ring those bells.

Think I need some words of comfort.

 

[Sophrosyne]

there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, you are not required to attend church at all to be a Christian you can praise and worship God on your own at home just as well and get to church when you desire to not out of guilt but because of love.

 

[sjdean]

I got to thinking again about Romans and reflected on something Paul wrote. "Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it."

This is what I thought.

Why do I feel bad? Because it is something I want to do but can't do. I want to go to Church but can't go. If I don't want to go, I don't feel bad. If I want to go, and can go, I go, and I don't feel bad.

I think it is when there is a conflict. Instead of feeling bad I cannot go, I should be feeling happy that I get these feelings that I get pulled to Church that I feel the desire to do good!

 

[Sophrosyne]

You feel it is a sin to not go to church, like many feel obligated to serve God not out of love but out of fear and that brings guilt into the picture. Satan loves to make you feel guilty and condemned about anything he can so it steals your peace and joy that a relationship with God brings.

 

[sjdean]

Sorry, I don't believe it is a sin to not go to church. There are many times we can't go to church. I do actually want to go to church, I like going to church, but I don't like feeling bad about not being able to go to church.

Or at least that's what I say to myself.

 

[Sophrosyne]

God can get by without you in church till you get will no need to feel bad about not being there.

 

[Kyle B]

When I first read the title of this thread, I thought that you never went to church. Don't be so hard on yourself, being a Christian isn't just about physically being in church. You can worship and praise God on your own at home.

 

[alexanderjc]

Is it that I feel guilty, or am I just becoming obsessive compulsive?

Last week I couldn't attend the church service due to a bad chesty cough. Im still getting over it, and got a mild cough, but I don't think there's any infection there.

I don't want to sit through a service coughing my guts up, not that I will, I don't know, but I don't want to take that risk. But Im sitting here 15 minutes to the start of the service fretting and worrying and I know Im going to feel bad when I hear the church ring those bells.

Think I need some words of comfort.

Hello Sjdean,

Sometimes we aren't able to go to the House of God and for those times, when it is not for selfish reason, it is understandable. The fact that you had it in your heart to go speaks well concerning your love for the Word of God and the communion of the saints.

I pray that you are well or are getting better so that you can once again attend as you desire.

James

 

[alexanderjc]

there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus, you are not required to attend church at all to be a Christian you can praise and worship God on your own at home just as well and get to church when you desire to not out of guilt but because of love.

You are partly correct. There is no condemnation in Christ Jesus for not going to church when you are not physically able however those who chose not to attend church for other reasons will soon find themselves without strength and proper biblical guidance.

Heb 10: 23-25 "Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised) And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.

To say that a christian is not required to attend church is misleading and is contrary to the Word of God. Why? Because, in the beginning, the church was established for a particular purpose and that purpose has not changed.

Eph 4:12 "And he gave some apostles; and some prophets; and some evangelists; and some pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:

This is the sole purpose of the church and those that don't attend fail to receive the guidance and biblical foundation that is needed for christian growth.

So to say that it is not necessary that a Christian attend church is not correct and what you left out that is most important is that we don't come to church just for praise and worship only we come to hear the Word of God so that we may be strengthened in our Christian walk and receive His instructions for our every day life while we are present on this earth. That is the main reason to go to the House of God.

James

 

[jpcedotal]

Here is my personal feelings on church.

When I go, I feel like I am recharging my Christian batteries. I can make it through the following week easier and it seems like I keep God more in my consciousness. When I miss a week for whatever reason, good or bad, usually by that second week I tend to revert back to some of my bad habits and kind of push God to the back.

Like I said, that is just the way church affects me personally. I am not sure the feeling you are having is guilt. I think it is just the Holy Spirit reminding you that church is very important and should be a part of EVERY Christian's life. Christianity is NOT nor has it ever been a solo job. As a Christian, we need to be around other Christians as a group for support and relief, to find both mentors and people closer to God than ourselves. We need to have a place to worship and pray to God as a group. We need a place to go to and ask the group to personally pray for things happening in our individual lives. The power of prayer, not your personal prayers but having others pray for you, is something every Christian needs and church is the easiest, simpliest way to get it. Not every single step in our walk in Christ has to be difficult. He has put places and people around us to help us along. USE THEM, don't ignore what Jesus has given you.

So, long story short...just make sure when you have to miss church, you make up for it by going back to church. Don't dwell on the past cause Jesus is in the present and He is the only future to look forward to.

Those who say church is not a requirement are dead wrong...period.

God Bless.

 

[sjdean]

What happens if I decide to meet my friends down the pub for a few beers (forgetting about the moral ethics of alcohol for a bit), because gosh darn it, I just haven't seen them as much as I would like and they're kind of missing me?

And what happens if instead of a pub, it's a bit of a club that goes on to 2am in the morning and Im physically unable to go to Church? Yes, I've thought about it, and I figure missing Church every so often isn't too much of a big thing, I don't want to completely lose track of all my friends because I don't stay out past 10pm on a Church night anymore.

 

[Jazahah]

Going to church is not necessary, in most churches they concentrate on the less important things and leave the most important things out of their preaches/teachings. I agree that Christians should get together and stick together, but where and when is not important at all. I mean, Christians are the church. The church buildings are just places.. And if you have relapses cause you miss church, I would think your faith might not be that strong at all.. Fellowship is good, but going to actual church buildings and doing this on sundays is not important at all. But if you go to church cause it's the only place for you to get with true believers, there's nothing wrong with that, I'm just saying the church habits are mostly kinda wrong and from the pagans and all that..

 

[jho]

delete

 

[jho]

I would just like to offer a different viewpoint from a lot of the advice offered here.

First I would just like to direct your eyes to God's Word:

Acts 2:45-47:
45 Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 47 praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Romans 14:4-6:
4 Who are you to judge someone else's servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
5 One man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. 6He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God.

I cannot fully agree with the idea that you can worship God simply in your own home. If you look at the early church model (which I feel the American Church is straying further and further away from), the believers always made sure to spend time together in sharing meals and praising God together. Unfortunately in our busy generation, that time gets limited mostly to Sundays. If your weekends are your only free time, at least for Sunday I would definitely suggest in keeping in contact with other Christians and your church.

I don't want to say for certain, but if you feel guilty about missing Church and you feel that you should go, (at least for you that's sin to not go). I want you to understand the Romans 14 concept very carefully. This is not a verse to abuse and sin whatever way you like because you don't feel guilty about something. In certain situations God has specifically blessed us in certain ways (including feeling guilty about certain things) to help lead us in the right direction. (example: my brother loves music, but to the point that it has almost become idolatry for him, and for him if he continues listening to it and prioritizing it over God, then for him music becomes sin).

I'm not saying either that you should abandon your old friends. No way, definitely look for times to hang out and catch up with them. As for drinking (there are different views on that), but as long as you don't get drunk and you're doing it for casual fellowship, it's not a great evil. But I encourage you to value that Sunday fellowship with other Christians, it's a very valuable time that God has given to you.

1 Corinthians 10

23 "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. 24 Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. 25 Eat anything sold in the meat market without raising questions of conscience, 26 for, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."
27 If some unbeliever invites you to a meal and you want to go, eat whatever is put before you without raising questions of conscience. 28 But if anyone says to you, "This has been offered in sacrifice," then do not eat it, both for the sake of the man who told you and for conscience' sake— 29 the other man's conscience, I mean, not yours. For why should my freedom be judged by another's conscience? 30 If I take part in the meal with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of something I thank God for?
31 So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 32 Do not cause anyone to stumble, whether Jews, Greeks or the church of God— 33 even as I try to please everybody in every way. For I am not seeking my own good but the good of many, so that they may be saved.

 

[Sketcher]

You shouldn't feel guilty over avoiding it because you're sick. There are old folks and young children there, after all.

 

[jpcedotal]

What happens if I decide to meet my friends down the pub for a few beers (forgetting about the moral ethics of alcohol for a bit), because gosh darn it, I just haven't seen them as much as I would like and they're kind of missing me?

And what happens if instead of a pub, it's a bit of a club that goes on to 2am in the morning and Im physically unable to go to Church? Yes, I've thought about it, and I figure missing Church every so often isn't too much of a big thing, I don't want to completely lose track of all my friends because I don't stay out past 10pm on a Church night anymore.

Go to the bar and hang with friends...but if it causes you to put God on the back-burner (like missing church the next day) then maybe you should re-evaluate your priorities.

 

[sjdean]

I know Christianity is and will continue to be a huge thing in my life, but at the same time, as I say, I don't want to completely lose sight of my friends, meeting other people in different environments and perhaps sharing my faith with them.

Im not sure missing church would cause me to put God on the back burner, even though I am drawn to church and love it immensely, I still get a nagging voice in the back of my mind saying, but go, hang out with your friends, do some of the things that they do, be with them, help them, be there for them, don't lose sight of that, friendships are important.

But if I couldn't go to Church, i'd still be there with my bible the following day, catching up.

 

[chilehed]

Is it that I feel guilty, or am I just becoming obsessive compulsive?...

Well, I not in the position to answer that question for you.

But, FWIW, maybe you can consider this. It's good that you so passionately want to worship in communion with other Christians - that's the way Christ intended it. I'm a Catholic Christian, and I am in union with the Church's teaching that it is a grave sin to miss Sunday worship for no good reason.... emphasis here on "for no good reason". And being sick is a very good reason, God doesn't want you to make yourself more sick nor does he want you to put others at risk of being infected.

If the Catholic Church, which has a very firm stance on the necessity of attending Sunday worship, freely acknowledges that you don't have to go if you're ill, then I think you can give yourself a break too.

Hope you're feeling better.

 

[christandisrael]

The church is a body of Christ. I think that someone should see you if you are sick, but don't expect it. Get well, soon!