God's calling for me

[khemlin]

So, I'm thirty and I'm in nursing school. I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel like God has opened doors to get me here that just never opened up for me before. There have been many things that I could point to in my journey toward becoming a nurse where I could say, "hey! no way that would have happened if God didn't want me to be a nurse!"
But I have a problem...I worry that I am not competent enough. I'm fairly good at school, that's not the issue. Lots of people make it through school easily and then aren't very good at their jobs. I hate the idea of being that kind of employee, but I think I might actually BE that employee. I don't think I'm too hard on myself. I think I can accurately assess my limits.

The issue is thinking quick enough and having the critical thinking skills necessary for this line of work. When I look around at my peers, I'm quite sure that the majority of them are smarter than me. I probably wouldn't be so worried except that this is NURSING and although I don't admit it out loud, I'm terrified of hurting someone.
A huge part of me feels like I don't deserve this at all. I'm just not sure how to reconcile these feelings with the fact that God seems to be working all of this in my favor.

 

[Zandy12]

So, I'm thirty and I'm in nursing school. I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel like God has opened doors to get me here that just never opened up for me before. There have been many things that I could point to in my journey toward becoming a nurse where I could say, "hey! no way that would have happened if God didn't want me to be a nurse!"
But I have a problem...I worry that I am not competent enough. I'm fairly good at school, that's not the issue. Lots of people make it through school easily and then aren't very good at their jobs. I hate the idea of being that kind of employee, but I think I might actually BE that employee. I don't think I'm too hard on myself. I think I can accurately assess my limits.

The issue is thinking quick enough and having the critical thinking skills necessary for this line of work. When I look around at my peers, I'm quite sure that the majority of them are smarter than me. I probably wouldn't be so worried except that this is NURSING and although I don't admit it out loud, I'm terrified of hurting someone.
A huge part of me feels like I don't deserve this at all. I'm just not sure how to reconcile these feelings with the fact that God seems to be working all of this in my favor.

You are not alone in feeling this way. I am dealing with a similar issue. I have people tell me I sound smart and I sound competent and capable of returning to school but they just don't understand. Is it a confidence issue? Maybe. Or maybe I am just being realistic with myself. Maybe I am not cut out for it? I don't know. I wish God could be more clearer on these things. But hey that's my story. Maybe you might just be a little different. Maybe you DO carry the ability to be a nurse. Who is going to reassure that? Nobody else can do that for you but yourself. You have to take that step even if it may seem scary. In the end what have you got to lose? Don't be discouraged I am sure God has an amazing plan for your life. How are you going to know if you never try? I wish you the best of luck in nursing school. Said a little prayer for you.

 

[look4hope]

@khemlin
Fear and doubt will always accompany us when making decisions in life, etc. The issue here seems more about whether or not you feel strong enough about the difference you will be making once you are out there helping folks. Fast critical thinking can be useful, but it shouldn't affect you as much as you think. Not everyone is fast on their toes per say when it comes to many things. Everyone is different.

If you feel it in your heart that this is your calling because you are willing to help others and enjoy it, then keep going.

 

[Ubuntu]

@khemlin

To be honest it sounds as if you will become a very good nurse. You have something which many people lack nowadays, you have a humble attitude and you're aware of your own limitations. Too often we're filled with pride, arrogance and a tendency to overestimate our own knowledge and abilities. Being self-complacent is what you really should fear, not distrusting yourself.

Your fear of hurting someone is something which also strongly supports the notion that being a nurse really is your call in this life. The most important trait a nurse can possibly have is to recognize the sanctity of life and the intrinsic value of a human being.

If you're terrified of doing a fatal mistake it's clear that you understand that life is sacred. It is people who lack this reverence who are the ones that really are unfitted to work as nurses and doctors. A careful nurse is a nurse that seldom makes mistakes, and you sound like a very careful and conscientious person! Your attitude reminds me of Gideon, and if you place your trust in God you too will be able to do things that you never have dreamed of doing.

To sum it up, I don't know you, but my gut feeling is that God indeed is the one who opened these doors for you. It's important to recognize our limitations, but what's equally important is to remember that we can do everything through Christ. Our limitations are His opportunities! God doesn't make mistakes and if he called you to become a nurse you must trust that he knows what he is doing!

 

[khemlin]

Thanks for all the responses, they were all helpful. This will be an ongoing thing for me, I'm just going to have to work hard and learn to trust that things can work out. I'm a pretty skeptical Christian at this point in my life, so I'm often doubtful.

I've tried a lot of things so far, and none of them really worked out. And nursing seems to be the only thing that has really been fulfilling for me.

Zandy, I hope that you do decide to go back to school, I'm sure that you will be able to find your niche. I said a prayer for you too.

 

[look4hope]

@khemlin

Keep us posted on your thoughts and how things are going. Going to say this again- doubt is just one of those things that will tag along regardless. Following your heart and trusting your instincts...blah blah blah (don't want to bore you here lol) might sound corny, but it works. Mostly, keep faith.

~Blessings~

 

[Wgw]

So, I'm thirty and I'm in nursing school. I enjoy what I'm doing, I feel like God has opened doors to get me here that just never opened up for me before. There have been many things that I could point to in my journey toward becoming a nurse where I could say, "hey! no way that would have happened if God didn't want me to be a nurse!"
But I have a problem...I worry that I am not competent enough. I'm fairly good at school, that's not the issue. Lots of people make it through school easily and then aren't very good at their jobs. I hate the idea of being that kind of employee, but I think I might actually BE that employee. I don't think I'm too hard on myself. I think I can accurately assess my limits.

The issue is thinking quick enough and having the critical thinking skills necessary for this line of work. When I look around at my peers, I'm quite sure that the majority of them are smarter than me. I probably wouldn't be so worried except that this is NURSING and although I don't admit it out loud, I'm terrified of hurting someone.
A huge part of me feels like I don't deserve this at all. I'm just not sure how to reconcile these feelings with the fact that God seems to be working all of this in my favor.

What I can tell you are three things that I hope will help:

• It's up to your instructors to pass you. If they pass you, you're qualified.
• Actually being conscientous and caring about your patients puts you leagues ahead of many nurses, who are just there to take a paycheck.
• Your Christian faith and conscience makes you eminently qualified. Since the time of our Lord, Christians have been caring for the sick; St. Basil the Great invented the hospital as we know it. If any were to dare to suggest that being Christian is somehow a disqualifier, it would suggest an enormous amount of petty prejudice, and a not inconsiderable lack of erudition, maturity and intellectual prowess on their part.

 

[FreeinChrist]

MOD HAT

Folks, this forum is for members in their 30s. Please do not post here unless you are in your thirties.

 

[Katiejean]

While I'm only an EMT, not a nurse, I can resonate all too well with your post. I've been an EMT for 5 years and still worry about whether I really possess the intuition and ability to think quickly on my feet - skills that are critical in emergency care to keep from making small mistakes that may have catastrophic consequences. It can be terrifying.

There are a few things that have really helped me on my journey that I'd like to share and hopefully at least some of it will be useful to you. First, pray for your patients. Begin each shift by praying that God will give you the skills you need for the challenges you'll face during your shift. And not out of pride or so that people will be in awe of your abilities, but rather that you will be given the abilities for your patients sakes.

Second, never stop studying and training even after you finish nursing school. It's really easy to lose a skill or forget a fact if you don't use it for a while. Especially if you're worried about being able to think quickly. If you study something thoroughly and practice a lot, it becomes so second nature that you don't have to think about it. When you don't have to think about it then the speed you think doesn't matter.

Third, don't forget to take care of yourself. Nursing is a demanding and stressful profession. If you aren't getting enough sleep you'll be more prone to mistakes.

Finally, trust your instincts, but give patients the benefit of doubt. There are plenty of times when patients are melodramatic, assume the worst, and overreact. So many times when we want to say "you called 911 for that!?" However, there have been a few times when something didn't seem serious to me and I thought someone was overreacting and I was wrong. Some patients present with normal vitals and atypical symptoms. Thankfully, we transported anyway even if it didn't seem necessary. I'd much rather err on the side of wasting my time and energy taking extra care of someone who is attention seeking than unintentionally neglect to provide care for someone who truly needed it.

Best of luck to you and if this is God's will for you then he will provide.

 

[Ezeretane]

Hi khemlin
I'm finishing my medical study and I can really relate to your feelings. I was afraid not to be smart enough so i retake a year during my cursus (because I was working with a incompetent junior doctor who was making very dangerous mistakes ). That experience convinced me I was not ready and I'm not sure it was the right thing to do but God blessed me anyway.
We are unique in our way to work and relate to people in hospital or during the care we give. I don't think I was the most clever junior doctor during my courses but I was dedicated to the job and to the patient and I literally loved if. So I had the opportunity to make quite an impression in the different department i worked in.
My advises:
- always ask for God 's guidance and strengh: if it is OK for Him then He will provide intelligence, money, collegue, opportunities , etc..
- continue to be that living bible with everyone : reading you , I'm sure you are doing it : let me assure you that it is very efficient and soon you will hear testimonies about your work and how great you were and you will be like " really ? You are talking about me?" (it is crazy how blind we are about our potential
- be confident : some may be more clever but intelligence is not everything and you can balance : i worked hard but I also was humble enough to ask for advises or ask questions when I didn't know
- ask all the questions now that you are still a student ( you will always be forgiven for a stupid question now but whe you will be on your own , it will be a different story)
- don't look at others , you will be surprise how not confident they really are or how much they considerate you. Ex: here is one of my collegue: clever, beautiful, efficient, always with her nails done!!! I didn't had time to have breakfast in the morning, she was the perfect physician. We both had a presentation to make for the department but i didn't mine , at the end of it we said :" I can't believe it , you are always doing things better than me!"I was really surprised
here you are these my experiences ,please don't compare yourself because you are unique and you are a beautiful gift for your patients . Just enjoy yourself (and work a little bit ) and everything is going to be fine
take care

 

[khemlin]

Thanks for all the responses, this means a lot. You've all been very encouraging. I've still got a while left to go in nursing school and there have been struggles but so far I'm doing okay. I've been given the opportunity to do an externship over the summer, and I'm really excited about the experience I'm going to get from it.

 

[Luke17:37]

I can relate to your feelings of inadequacy in your chosen field of study. I studied electrical engineering, and worked in it for eight years before quitting to work for my dad on something different. Every year I liked it less. I don't miss it. I am way more interested in people, theology, ministry, writing, and art than I am in computers. If I were to redo school, I'm not sure I would have done it differently. I'm trusting God that my engineering had a purpose, even if it was just to diligently learn hard things.

I am not suggesting you should quit. May you seek the Lord to guide your life as He has mine, even if I don't always understand what He is doing.