Facing addiction as Orthodox

[☦Marius☦]

So I've looked around the forums and haven't seen a specific board for this type of thing, but perhaps I have missed it. It seems to me that in America Orthodox lack the support structure for breaking addiction that Protestants and Catholics do. I can name countless groups in town that cater to Catholic addicts, and of course Protestants are everywhere- but where are the Orthodox!?

If it were possible I would love to have a board dedicated for Orthodox methods of breaking addictions, especially of the sexual nature- that those older and wiser could help us who are weak and struggling.

I am a porn and sex addict of going on 14 years. Every year I have tried to break away and every year I have failed. I have come to a point in my life where I am so lazy about everything, my drive to accomplish things is gone, and my prayer life is a wreck. I don't even feel like I am really there some days. I feel it is hopeless most days, and I have considered monasticism, but honestly I want a family, and I want to take up hobbies that monastics simply wouldn't have time for. If only I could overcome the addictions taking up my life and draining it out of me maybe I could have a shred of joy. Thoughts?

 

[HereIStand]

That's something difficult to quit, especially with online porn being so easy to access. Try to redirect your energy into other things. Try exercise also. Have your priest pray for you to quit also. Most importantly, don't give in to resignation, feeling as though you have to continue doing this. God bless.

 

[~Anastasia~]

So I've looked around the forums and haven't seen a specific board for this type of thing, but perhaps I have missed it. It seems to me that in America Orthodox lack the support structure for breaking addiction that Protestants and Catholics do. I can name countless groups in town that cater to Catholic addicts, and of course Protestants are everywhere- but where are the Orthodox!?

If it were possible I would love to have a board dedicated for Orthodox methods of breaking addictions, especially of the sexual nature- that those older and wiser could help us who are weak and struggling.

I am a porn and sex addict of going on 14 years. Every year I have tried to break away and every year I have failed. I have come to a point in my life where I am so lazy about everything, my drive to accomplish things is gone, and my prayer life is a wreck. I don't even feel like I am really there some days. I feel it is hopeless most days, and I have considered monasticism, but honestly I want a family, and I want to take up hobbies that monastics simply wouldn't have time for. If only I could overcome the addictions taking up my life and draining it out of me maybe I could have a shred of joy. Thoughts?

This is something to discuss with your priest for sure. I would guess he's going to talk to you about fasting, primarily. And other disciplines.

There are books written by monks for monks with little helpful bits in them.

 

[All4Christ]

My friend used this podcast: Healing Addictions | Ancient Faith Ministries

I can’t vouch for it personally though as I haven’t had the time to listen through the entire podcast series.

 

[ArmyMatt]

you might wanna check out OCAMPR, the Orthodox Christian Association of Medicine, Psychology, and Religion.

 

[Petros2015]

Lately, the Jesus prayer has been helping me a lot, I shift into reciting it mentally and when an impure thought or impulse surfaces, nothing but breathing and mental recitation for a little bit and meditation on that prayer. It stops the train of thought and puts things in perspective.

I came into Orthodoxy after entering 12 Step Recovery for some years and doing a spiritual search. One of the things I found was that Orthodoxy matches 12 Step Recovery very closely, the two fit very very nicely together. I would suggest looking for a 12 Step SA fellowship near you. You may find it both renews and compliments your faith. SAA and SLAA are also similar fellowships, but I think SA is the original and has a sobriety definition that matches closest (it seeks victory over Lust). I've been an AA member for about 4 1/2 years and an SA member for about 2 now as I found that was the deeper addiction. And things have changed greatly over that time, it is no longer the focus of my life.

There were bits in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers that I liked which helped. Morning and especially nightly prayer rule helps too. You are doing the right thing by reaching out for help. PM me if you want to talk further.

 

[gurneyhalleck1]

Glory to God that you're here, Marius. You underestimate the good in you I think. The Holy Spirit obviously thinks you're worth it that He brought you to our Orthodox faith! Also, you're here in TAW because the goodness in you wants better for yourself. You're a good man. You're just fallen like the rest of us. Our sins are all manifested differently. There is so much hope for you. I'm sure there are wonderful suggestions in here from great posters about saints to whom you can ask intercession. For me, St. Joseph would be my go-to. St. Paul also. St. Paul had a spiritual thorn in his flesh. I'd pray to him for strength. St. Augustine lived a life of sin and went on to become a spiritual powerhouse and massive influence on millions. God used them both. Then I'd pray to St. Joseph for sexual purity. He is a model of purity.

The most important thing is that you do NOT despair! Despair is the end-goal of the Evil One. Once he has you thinking you're locked in a cell, he hopes you'll give up. Thing is, you're not locked in! The Holy Mysteries of the Church, especially Confession, are of a great aid to this. Remember that 50% of men in all denominations are regularly viewing porn. You're not some failure or some subhuman rat for falling prey to this sin. Sexuality is TOUGH. Sex is so easily warped by mankind. The Fall did us great damage in that area.

I have a wonderful feeling about you! You're going to beat this!

So I've looked around the forums and haven't seen a specific board for this type of thing, but perhaps I have missed it. It seems to me that in America Orthodox lack the support structure for breaking addiction that Protestants and Catholics do. I can name countless groups in town that cater to Catholic addicts, and of course Protestants are everywhere- but where are the Orthodox!?

If it were possible I would love to have a board dedicated for Orthodox methods of breaking addictions, especially of the sexual nature- that those older and wiser could help us who are weak and struggling.

I am a porn and sex addict of going on 14 years. Every year I have tried to break away and every year I have failed. I have come to a point in my life where I am so lazy about everything, my drive to accomplish things is gone, and my prayer life is a wreck. I don't even feel like I am really there some days. I feel it is hopeless most days, and I have considered monasticism, but honestly I want a family, and I want to take up hobbies that monastics simply wouldn't have time for. If only I could overcome the addictions taking up my life and draining it out of me maybe I could have a shred of joy. Thoughts?

 

[Petros2015]

There are books written by monks for monks with little helpful bits in them.

Reading this now, the first few chapters were very inspirational. Some of the others a little less so since I doubt I will ever go full monk. But there is a lot in here I think anyone can benefit from

The Ladder of Divine Ascent - OrthodoxWiki

Selected quotes - some of these are great

St. John Climicus (of the Ladder) Archives - Orthodox Church Quotes

 

[JasonV]

Hi Marius,

Porn addiction is very serious because it is so hard to break. Prayer is a must, and of course you should talk to your priest.

As for personal advice, I would offer this: Don't worry about quitting forever. Just try quitting today. There is no yesterday, there is no tomorrow. Then rinse and repeat for tomorrow.

Forget winning the war, and just win today's battle. Breaking it down like that will make it more manageable. And over the coming days and weeks, you'll see enough daily victories to realize that eventually you can and will win the war!

 

[All4Christ]

Do you have an icon of St Mary of Egypt? When I struggled with a specific one of the passions (different than yours but still something I needed to work on on a regular basis), Fr suggested that each day I ask for her to intercede for me.

Perhaps you could keep some icons in various rooms of Jesus and the Theotokos? God is everywhere but sometimes the reminder can help. As soon as temptations hit, try praying Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner....or sometimes just “have mercy”. God knows what we mean.

Last night and today I was struggling with some medical things...all I could say is with a prayer rope, have mercy, mercy, mercy. I couldn’t be over at my prayer corner and didn’t say long prayers, but I know God heard my plea and knew what I meant, just as He does when we ask for help to overcome our temptations.

So I've looked around the forums and haven't seen a specific board for this type of thing, but perhaps I have missed it. It seems to me that in America Orthodox lack the support structure for breaking addiction that Protestants and Catholics do. I can name countless groups in town that cater to Catholic addicts, and of course Protestants are everywhere- but where are the Orthodox!?

If it were possible I would love to have a board dedicated for Orthodox methods of breaking addictions, especially of the sexual nature- that those older and wiser could help us who are weak and struggling.

I am a porn and sex addict of going on 14 years. Every year I have tried to break away and every year I have failed. I have come to a point in my life where I am so lazy about everything, my drive to accomplish things is gone, and my prayer life is a wreck. I don't even feel like I am really there some days. I feel it is hopeless most days, and I have considered monasticism, but honestly I want a family, and I want to take up hobbies that monastics simply wouldn't have time for. If only I could overcome the addictions taking up my life and draining it out of me maybe I could have a shred of joy. Thoughts?

 

[☦Marius☦]

I do have a Icon of St. Mary, and a book of prayers to her. I also have Icons of Christ and the Theotokos nailed to the wall above my computer, though to my shame this has done little to deter me. Nothing could make me feel worse than that.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Hi Marius,

Porn addiction is very serious because it is so hard to break. Prayer is a must, and of course you should talk to your priest.

As for personal advice, I would offer this: Don't worry about quitting forever. Just try quitting today. There is no yesterday, there is no tomorrow. Then rinse and repeat for tomorrow.

Forget winning the war, and just win today's battle. Breaking it down like that will make it more manageable. And over the coming days and weeks, you'll see enough daily victories to realize that eventually you can and will win the war!

Just wanted to say hello, and welcome to CF and to TAW! It's always a special honor to welcome a fellow Orthodox Christian to the forums. Please let us know if you have any questions about the forums or need any help.

And again, welcome! We are very pleased to have you join us!


(Very good advice as well, thank you!)

 

[All4Christ]

I do have a Icon of St. Mary, and a book of prayers to her. I also have Icons of Christ and the Theotokos nailed to the wall above my computer, though to my shame this has done little to deter me. Nothing could make me feel worse than that.

Considering that God saved St Mary of Egypt and that He had mercy on St Mary of Magdalene and many others, we know that He is merciful should we ask for it. Day by day, choice by choice, we can start to follow Him more. Every time I went to confession - to this day, albeit for different reasons - I often fell into tears to see that my sins recurred over and over again. I tried, yet failed. In our own strength, we cannot prevail. However, the Church is a Hospital for sinners, and by God’s Grace, the Eucharist is medicine for us. God truly forgives a repentant heart, no matter how many times we fall into sin.

I know this isn’t a solution, but you do have our prayers.

And FTR, I think something like Celebrate Recovery would be a wonderful thing to have in Orthodoxy (despite the sacraments being truly medicine for us).

 

[JasonV]

Thank you, Anastasia.

 

[~Anastasia~]

Thank you, Anastasia.

You are most welcome.