This question seems to come up all the time so I'm posting this here for those who are wondering it. I recommend reading :
'Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of God' by J. Robin Maxon with Garry Friesen
Garry Friesen is a man who has chosen to remain single/celibate in order to maximize his effectiveness in doing God's work and J. Robin Maxson chose to be married. They come from both perspectives and highlight the pros and cons of each state - married or single. Garry Friensen is a great example of someone who can be celibate without it bothering him too much. He likes the benefits of having much time on his hands to work without being distracted and he doesn't have a huge desire for companionship or sexual fullfillment. In the pages you don't hear him struggling with sexual temptation or loneliness. I'm sure he does somewhat but it's not so strong that it takes away from the work he's trying to do. He is a professor at a University and a writer, loves his job, and considers himself fullfilled and happy in his celibate state. And this I think is what celibacy should look like. If you are burning with passion as paul says, or if you are struggling constantly to be single just because you think it's what God wants when it's not what you want. Or if you have strong urges for a family, cmpanionship, and sexual expression then it's probably not for you because it isn't really wise at that point to remain single. While being married can be a distraction to doing God's work, so being single and wanting to be married all the time can be a distraction in some people; being married may allow you to focus better to do God's work.
Both men are both highly intelligent, but even more importantly they are incredibly wise. I have not found better wisdom on this topic than what they have written.
Whether you are going to get married or stay single, you want to make that choice using God's wisdom, not on feelings or false misconceptions about God (such as the idea that God will speak to each of us in a still small voice every time we need to make a decision. The book debunks this, explaining most of the time God gives us wisdom and then allows us to make our own choices; Him speaking to us is the exception and not the rule.)
I also recommend reading 'Decision Making and the Will of God' also by Garry Friensen and J. Robin Maxwell for valuable information on a biblical approach to decision making in other areas of your life that are not necessarily romantic.
'Singleness, Marriage, and the Will of God' by J. Robin Maxon with Garry Friesen
Garry Friesen is a man who has chosen to remain single/celibate in order to maximize his effectiveness in doing God's work and J. Robin Maxson chose to be married. They come from both perspectives and highlight the pros and cons of each state - married or single. Garry Friensen is a great example of someone who can be celibate without it bothering him too much. He likes the benefits of having much time on his hands to work without being distracted and he doesn't have a huge desire for companionship or sexual fullfillment. In the pages you don't hear him struggling with sexual temptation or loneliness. I'm sure he does somewhat but it's not so strong that it takes away from the work he's trying to do. He is a professor at a University and a writer, loves his job, and considers himself fullfilled and happy in his celibate state. And this I think is what celibacy should look like. If you are burning with passion as paul says, or if you are struggling constantly to be single just because you think it's what God wants when it's not what you want. Or if you have strong urges for a family, cmpanionship, and sexual expression then it's probably not for you because it isn't really wise at that point to remain single. While being married can be a distraction to doing God's work, so being single and wanting to be married all the time can be a distraction in some people; being married may allow you to focus better to do God's work.
Both men are both highly intelligent, but even more importantly they are incredibly wise. I have not found better wisdom on this topic than what they have written.
Whether you are going to get married or stay single, you want to make that choice using God's wisdom, not on feelings or false misconceptions about God (such as the idea that God will speak to each of us in a still small voice every time we need to make a decision. The book debunks this, explaining most of the time God gives us wisdom and then allows us to make our own choices; Him speaking to us is the exception and not the rule.)
I also recommend reading 'Decision Making and the Will of God' also by Garry Friensen and J. Robin Maxwell for valuable information on a biblical approach to decision making in other areas of your life that are not necessarily romantic.
