Depression after reading the Bible

[RobertZ]

Anyone else here get really depressed the first time you picked up your Bible and really began to read it for the very first time and understand what it is saying?

I had noticed the more I would read the more I would see things that are wrong in the world and this in turn would cause me to become deeply depressed, also I would start seeing things as sin that I used to not recognize as sin in the past.

Its as if I was becoming super sensitive to all the bad things in the world around me but instead of me getting happier and growing in Christ I felt myself becoming more and more condemned as I began to realize who Christ was and who I am.

I probably have not read the scripture now for atleast 2 months because it got to the point to where I felt like every time I picked up the Bible to read the worse things would get for me, sometimes it even seemed as though I was being attacked spiritually by demons. None of this stuff ever happened to me until I became serious about God and my sins.

Is this a normal thing to go through? and will I ever find joy in salvation? Im getting a little concerned over rather or not im baring good fruit and that stresses me out a little bit because I know if im not baring good fruit I might possibly still be lost.


Do you guys think that I could almost be to the point that im about to find salvation and that is why satan is attacking me so very frequently? or do you guys think its because im already saved and satan is trying to interupt the sanctification process?

 

[desmalia]

All I can say is that if the Holy Spirit is convicting you, get on your knees and repent. And keep on repenting. Yes, satan can use false guilt against us when we have repented and know we are forgiven. But too often we're not encouraged to really repent, and instead rely on our own fallen nature. Keep your head in the Scriptures and keep praying for God's guidance.

Have you ever read the book "Pilgrim's Progress"? I think you could really relate to that timeless allegory.

 

[RobertZ]

Have you ever read the book "Pilgrim's Progress"? I think you could really relate to that timeless allegory.

Yes but its been a very long time since I read it, Im telling you right now............sometimes I think im a modern day John Bunyan. I have wondered what real salvation was since I was a child.

Im just scared that if I dont have it I will never be able to get it and then im scared that if I do have it I will never be assured that I have it. I know that sounds crazy but its where I am at right now.

 

[RobertZ]

Okay, this will sound stupid but im gonna say it anyway. I feel like if I dont get rid of my gaming computer that God will not forgive me and will damn me to Hell.

There.......I said it.

 

[jarrettcpr]

Okay, this will sound stupid but im gonna say it anyway. I feel like if I dont get rid of my gaming computer that God will not forgive me and will damn me to Hell.

There.......I said it.

I guess I believe in what can be known as easy believism and only trusting Jesus alone for the atonement of sins... is one saved.

Also, there is no condemnation in Christ.

"Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus" (Romans 8:1)

 

[mont974x4]

He won't damn you. However, if it is a stumbling block then get rid of it.


I had to delete my games. It was to easy to get off track when I would sit down to study.

 

[desmalia]

1 John 5:13 (NASB)
These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.

1 John shows us how to test ourselves to see if we are in the faith or not. We must examine ourselves regularly in this way to be sure our faith is authentic. Do you see evidence of the Spirit working in you, molding you to His will?



"Salvation is of the Lord" - C.H. Spurgeon

Phil 1:6 (NASB)
For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.


Robert, you cannot save yourself through any work, choice, feeling, or thought. If you hear Him calling, respond. I think you may be trying to over-complicate it.

 

[desmalia]

He won't damn you. However, if it is a stumbling block then get rid of it.


I had to delete my games. It was to easy to get off track when I would sit down to study.

Totally agree.

 

[RobertZ]

Well, some of the computer games that I play such as the call of duty series and other war type games use profanity from time to time and when I am playing these games and I hear a cuss word it seems to cut through me a bit and it hurts. I never ever used to see things this way before and I could play these games without even flinching when I would hear a cuss word but now I absolutely hate it and I never want to get back to the place again to where these things dont bother me.

 

[desmalia]

Well, some of the computer games that I play such as the call of duty series and other war type games use profanity from time to time and when I am playing these games and I hear a cuss word it seems to cut through me a bit and it hurts. I never ever used to see things this way before and I could play these games without even flinching when I would hear a cuss word but now I absolutely hate it and I never want to get back to the place again to where these things dont bother me.

That is excellent. Listen to the Spirit when you are being convicted. I went through that a while back about downloading TV shows that I missed on TV. The Spirit convicted me that it was wrong and I had to stop. Had I continued it would have dulled my conscience. That is never a good thing.

 

[RobertZ]

Robert, you cannot save yourself through any work, choice, feeling, or thought. If you hear Him calling, respond. I think you may be trying to over-complicate it.

Your probably right about me over commplicating it because I am always and I mean ALWAYS looking at myself and my failures. Im terrfied that if I dont get it just right I will end up in Hell.

 

[desmalia]

Your probably right about me over commplicating it because I am always and I mean ALWAYS looking at myself and my failures. Im terrfied that if I dont get it just right I will end up in Hell.

I understand. And that is a favourite game of satan's. Playing the guilt card to take your eyes of Christ. I find it helpful to remember that He loves me because of who HE is, not who I am. All the power and sovereignty is in His hands, THANK GOD!

 

[desmalia]

Serving Him, walking away from worldly things, while yes it can be uncomfortable and require discipline, it is ultimately a joy to do when we are led by the Spirit. It is freedom from sin, not limitations of law.

 

[RobertZ]

Serving Him, walking away from worldly things, while yes it can be uncomfortable and require discipline, it is ultimately a joy to do when we are led by the Spirit. It is freedom from sin, not limitations of law.

So how do I know if God was really telling me to get rid of my gaming PC? Im afraid that I know what his answere is because I know its probably not what I really wanted to hear.

 

[desmalia]

So how do I know if God was really telling me to get rid of my gaming PC? Im afraid that I know what his answere is because I know its probably not what I really wanted to hear.

Yep, exactly. Rely on the Scriptures and don't ignore your conscience. I think when you follow that pattern ultimately you will feel freedom from the conflict. It can be difficult at first because you're battling with the old sinful nature. But the more you discipline yourself in this manner the stronger and wiser you will become. Entertainment is a huge snare in our culture. I'm being convicted more and more to get my head out of it because of all the subtle negative influences. We were called to better things. And truly we depend on entertainment way too much. It's made us lazy and keeps us from doing God's work. Not that entertainment in itself is sinful. But the way we tend to idolize it is. And so are the worldly messages that are constantly being fed to us through it.

 

[RobertZ]

Not that entertainment in itself is sinful. But the way we tend to idolize it is. And so are the worldly messages that are constantly being fed to us through it.

Idolatry is the word I believe that fits my situation. Ever since I decided to keep my gaming PC things have gotten worse for me, I have had really bad dreams about going to hell.......I have woken up at night to feel my skin burning like it was on fire and to top it off I woke up one night and saw a figure standing in the corner of my room that looked like Jesus wearing a white rob and he was looking straight at me with a very angry stern look on his face with blood dripping down his face from where the crown of thorns were placed.

It scares me to even type this but I have to get it out. Please dont think that im some kind of freak, this honestly did happen to me.

 

[desmalia]

Idolatry is the word I believe that fits my situation. Ever since I decided to keep my gaming PC things have gotten worse for me,

There ya go. You know what the Bible says about idolatry. It's important to know and deal with our weaknesses so that satan cannot get a foothold.

I have had really bad dreams about going to hell.......I have woken up at night to feel my skin burning like it was on fire and to top it off I woke up one night and saw a figure standing in the corner of my room that looked like Jesus wearing a white rob and he was looking straight at me with a very angry stern look on his face with blood dripping down his face from where the crown of thorns were placed.

It scares me to even type this but I have to get it out. Please dont think that im some kind of freak, this honestly did happen to me.

No worries, I don't think you're a freak, and I'm sure that has been very scary for you. If I remember correctly, you have OCD? If so, do you have a mentor or counselor who is helping you deal with that?

 

[RobertZ]

No worries, I don't think you're a freak, and I'm sure that has been very scary for you. If I remember correctly, you have OCD? If so, do you have a mentor or counselor who is helping you deal with that?

Yes, I have a counselor at my Church who I speak with. What do you make of those dreams? burning skin and vision? Do you think thats from God? or do you think its from the enemy? spiritual warefare?

 

[desmalia]

Yes, I have a counselor at my Church who I speak with. What do you make of those dreams? burning skin and vision? Do you think thats from God? or do you think its from the enemy? spiritual warefare?

I suspect from the enemy. However you've got to be careful not to excuse sin just because it's not truly condemnation from God. It may be more of an overreaction to your conscience which you will need to learn how to gauge for yourself. This is why I asked if you have a counselor. They would be best equipped to help you work through it.

 

[RMDY]

Anyone else here get really depressed the first time you picked up your Bible and really began to read it for the very first time and understand what it is saying?

I had noticed the more I would read the more I would see things that are wrong in the world and this in turn would cause me to become deeply depressed, also I would start seeing things as sin that I used to not recognize as sin in the past.

Its as if I was becoming super sensitive to all the bad things in the world around me but instead of me getting happier and growing in Christ I felt myself becoming more and more condemned as I began to realize who Christ was and who I am.

I probably have not read the scripture now for atleast 2 months because it got to the point to where I felt like every time I picked up the Bible to read the worse things would get for me, sometimes it even seemed as though I was being attacked spiritually by demons. None of this stuff ever happened to me until I became serious about God and my sins.

Is this a normal thing to go through? and will I ever find joy in salvation? Im getting a little concerned over rather or not im baring good fruit and that stresses me out a little bit because I know if im not baring good fruit I might possibly still be lost.


Do you guys think that I could almost be to the point that im about to find salvation and that is why satan is attacking me so very frequently? or do you guys think its because im already saved and satan is trying to interupt the sanctification process?

The more closer you get to God, the more you come to know how Holy he is. Also, you are being convicted of sin.... it is normal. Don't get discouraged, what you need to do it pray to God that he grants you repentance and confess your sins. Then belief in the the lord Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of sins.

Don't be discouraged. I felt the same way at first and started to become a pharasee, wanting to be very focused on rules instead of god's grace.

In quietness and trust is your strength in the Lord. You can't earn your salvation. Faith in Jesus is your righteousness, for abram believed God and it was credited to him as righteousness. Your deeds that come with repentance only prove your repentant, they don't do anything beyond that.