Delano TN

[theAmishGirl]

I was just wondering if anyone knows anything about the Delano Tennessee community? They are a pretty small group of Old Order Mennonites. I am going to meet them tomorrow and I was just wondering if anyone knew of any information that might help me?!!! I would really love to find some sense of community in the area that I live in, so please pray for me!!

 

[MrJim]

Haven't been through TN since 1986...

 

[Jehane]

Sorrow, I'm in the wrong country to start with.

 

[theAmishGirl]

Darn- thanks though. I'm just really nervous because I know that they are super conservative buggy drivin' types and I don't want to step on toes or anything! I really want to be accepted as at least a friend but I don't really know anything about them accept where they live!! I'm kinda freaking out! I'm not good at the random introduction type stuff and especially not this type!

 

[ZiSunka]

Darn- thanks though. I'm just really nervous because I know that they are super conservative buggy drivin' types and I don't want to step on toes or anything! I really want to be accepted as at least a friend but I don't really know anything about them accept where they live!! I'm kinda freaking out! I'm not good at the random introduction type stuff and especially not this type!

Don't expect to be fully accepted right away. I have a friend who "went Amish" for ten years before they would even baptize him, and they insisted on rebaptizing him. It's 12 years now, and they wouldn't let him marry any of their daughters, he had to go to another community to find a wife. His community didn't want to mix English blood with their Amish bloodlines.

 

[theAmishGirl]

Don't expect to be fully accepted right away. I have a friend who "went Amish" for ten years before they would even baptize him, and they insisted on rebaptizing him. It's 12 years now, and they wouldn't let him marry any of their daughters, he had to go to another community to find a wife. His community didn't want to mix English blood with their Amish bloodlines.

wow- i know it will be hard, especially since we can't move into their community right now! I am just really hoping for enough acceptance for friendship and conversation every now and then...

 

[Danfrey]

Darn- thanks though. I'm just really nervous because I know that they are super conservative buggy drivin' types and I don't want to step on toes or anything! I really want to be accepted as at least a friend but I don't really know anything about them accept where they live!! I'm kinda freaking out! I'm not good at the random introduction type stuff and especially not this type!

My advice is to be yourself. It is easy to make a situation uncomfortable by trying to be too careful not to offend. Remember that they are people who put on thier pants one leg at a time just like we do. You will find people excited about their faith and you will find the lukewarm types. I am sure it will be an enjoyable experience for you. I remember one afternoon, we were in Lancaster and stopped by a church after the service was over to ask an old order man outside what type of church it was. Within minutes, we had a lunch invite. We were too nervous to accept, but if you get the opportunity, jump on it. Food is a great subject that we all have in common.

Have you met anyone from the community before, or is this a cold call? If you don't know anyone there, the best place to meet people would be a local bookstore, or shop of some type. The folks that work at businesses that deal with others are likely to be more open. It is also good to realize that seekers have a bad reputation with conservative groups. We had a Wenger Mennonite landlord when we lived in Missouri. He was a very nice man, but not real talkative.

 

[Danfrey]

I was just wondering if anyone knows anything about the Delano Tennessee community? They are a pretty small group of Old Order Mennonites. I am going to meet them tomorrow and I was just wondering if anyone knew of any information that might help me?!!! I would really love to find some sense of community in the area that I live in, so please pray for me!!

I found a link that may interest you. This is on Don Murphy's website. Don would consider himself a Hutterite convert. He is a good man who I have spent time with. We don't see everything eye to eye, but respect each other. The article is from the late Elmo Stoll, a leader of Christian Communities in TN that dissolved and were assimilated into other groups. One of the communities became an Old Order Mennonite Group in Delano. You may find it interesting reading.

http://www.anabaptistchurch.org/community_by_elmo_stoll.htm

 

[theAmishGirl]

I don't know anyone from the group. I received a tip that they might be there through a plain friend in Alabama. Steven and I drove up there a few days ago looking for them and we found the farmers market where they sale their produce. It is open on saturday's so we are going to go up there tomorrow and hopefully meet with them. they are very conservative too- we passed one of their buggies on the way up and their dress is a lot more conservative than my own, so I guess that is why I am nervous.

 

[Danfrey]

I don't know anyone from the group. I received a tip that they might be there through a plain friend in Alabama. Steven and I drove up there a few days ago looking for them and we found the farmers market where they sale their produce. It is open on saturday's so we are going to go up there tomorrow and hopefully meet with them. they are very conservative too- we passed one of their buggies on the way up and their dress is a lot more conservative than my own, so I guess that is why I am nervous.

Funny story time....wavy lines

The first time Candice and visited a conservative church, she was wearing a jumper and I was wearing slacks and a polo shirt. We felt like we were underdressed because the group was very plain. It happened to be the middle of summer and we were staying at a hotel in Nashville. We went to 5 stores and several thrift shops looking for a simple dress without prints so she would feel more comfortable in church. We ended up finding something is a small print and dying it to subdue the pattern. All in all, the folks at the church were not bothered by the way we showed up the first time. Most conservative folks find it refreshing to see somebody who is not of their group dressed modestly, regardless of how plain it is. The plain issue is highly over rated and need not be a concern until one becomes a member of a plain church. The simplicity and modesty should always be a concern though regardless of the church.

 

[theAmishGirl]

Funny story time....wavy lines

The first time Candice and visited a conservative church, she was wearing a jumper and I was wearing slacks and a polo shirt. We felt like we were underdressed because the group was very plain. It happened to be the middle of summer and we were staying at a hotel in Nashville. We went to 5 stores and several thrift shops looking for a simple dress without prints so she would feel more comfortable in church. We ended up finding something is a small print and dying it to subdue the pattern. All in all, the folks at the church were not bothered by the way we showed up the first time. Most conservative folks find it refreshing to see somebody who is not of their group dressed modestly, regardless of how plain it is. The plain issue is highly over rated and need not be a concern until one becomes a member of a plain church. The simplicity and modesty should always be a concern though regardless of the church.

thanks for the encouragement! I needed it. I'm assuming that you are referring to the Beachy church in Franklin? I would really like to visit them too, but it is much too far of a drive to keep up a regular fellowship.

 

[ZiSunka]

My advice is to be yourself. It is easy to make a situation uncomfortable by trying to be too careful not to offend. Remember that they are people who put on thier pants one leg at a time just like we do. You will find people excited about their faith and you will find the lukewarm types. I am sure it will be an enjoyable experience for you. I remember one afternoon, we were in Lancaster and stopped by a church after the service was over to ask an old order man outside what type of church it was. Within minutes, we had a lunch invite. We were too nervous to accept, but if you get the opportunity, jump on it. Food is a great subject that we all have in common.

Good advice. Remember they are used to having people come by and treat them like zoo animals, staring, taking pictures, etc, but if you are just being yourself and being friendly, they will come around and be friendly with you.

 

[theAmishGirl]

Just to update everyone: we did go to their market today and left with not only some of the best peppers in the world but also an invitation to their services tomorrow. They are definitely Old Order and therefore, I have nothing to wear! hm...But the man that we talked to seemed very nice and welcoming so hopefully it will all go well tomorrow. I just really wish we didn't have to DRIVE up to the church. That will definitely set us apart pretty quick! By the way- does anyone know what an Old Order service is like? The man said that it would be about 3 hours and followed by a singing and then a late dinner... I've never been to a service anywhere near this conservative so any info would be greatly appreciated.

From Amishboy:

Ok so he was really nice. like she said we have no clue what to expect so if anyone could give us an idea that would be really helpful. (I am very nervous lol ) So anyway, Thanks in advance! ! ~Amish

 

[Danfrey]

Just to update everyone: we did go to their market today and left with not only some of the best peppers in the world but also an invitation to their services tomorrow. They are definitely Old Order and therefore, I have nothing to wear! hm...But the man that we talked to seemed very nice and welcoming so hopefully it will all go well tomorrow. I just really wish we didn't have to DRIVE up to the church. That will definitely set us apart pretty quick! By the way- does anyone know what an Old Order service is like? The man said that it would be about 3 hours and followed by a singing and then a late dinner... I've never been to a service anywhere near this conservative so any info would be greatly appreciated.

From Amishboy:

Ok so he was really nice. like she said we have no clue what to expect so if anyone could give us an idea that would be really helpful. (I am very nervous lol ) So anyway, Thanks in advance! ! ~Amish

As far as the car goes, you should be fine. They understand you are not horse and buggy. Most of them probably pay drivers to get them around anyway, so the car shouldn't be too much concern for you. As far as the service goes, I have no clue. You will have to share how it went once you get back. Clothing wise, just dress in something simple. I would refrain from wearing jewelry if it is something you do. If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can wear a vest over your dress, which makes for something very close to a cape dress. Many of the Charity ladies wear them this way. Obviously, they did not find your attire offensive, or you wouldn't have had the conversation and invite that you did.

Blessings to you both. I hope you enjoy the experience. Be sure to stay for the dinner. It is an opportunity to get an inside look into the community. Be prepared to share your testimony. My kids joke that they mine better than I do because they have heard it so many times when visiting new churches. I almost forgot something very important. It is appropriate your Amishboy to sit with the men and converse after service while waiting on dinner. It would be appropriate for Amishgirl to offer to help in the kitchen with the ladies. This may be common practice down south, I am not sure. Where I came from, it didn't seem so segregated. You will find the ladies less talkative than the men. It takes them longer to warm up to new people. Something that Candice and I had difficulties getting used to was being seperated from each other on our visits. You will sit together when you eat though.

 

[ZiSunka]

Just to update everyone: we did go to their market today and left with not only some of the best peppers in the world but also an invitation to their services tomorrow. They are definitely Old Order and therefore, I have nothing to wear! hm...But the man that we talked to seemed very nice and welcoming so hopefully it will all go well tomorrow. I just really wish we didn't have to DRIVE up to the church. That will definitely set us apart pretty quick! By the way- does anyone know what an Old Order service is like? The man said that it would be about 3 hours and followed by a singing and then a late dinner... I've never been to a service anywhere near this conservative so any info would be greatly appreciated.

From Amishboy:

Ok so he was really nice. like she said we have no clue what to expect so if anyone could give us an idea that would be really helpful. (I am very nervous lol ) So anyway, Thanks in advance! ! ~Amish

I wouldn't worry at all about the car. They know you aren't Amish, so they don't expect you to arrive in a buggy. Besides, around here, there are more and more minivans at Amish meetings on sundays!

Their church services are not too different from what you've been to before, except they can go on for hours.

The time I went, the men sat to the right and the women to the left. Men and women do not sit together, so you will probably have to be separate during the meeting.

They open with prayer, and in the one I went to, all the elders prayed, each for several minutes.

For the first hour, the pastor (one of the elders, they take turns each week) read straight from the Bible, word for word, and I liked that a lot. I wish all churches would do a lot of reading from the Bible every service! For about half an hour he spoke about what he read.

Then we sang hymns, in four part harmony. Nobody does hymns half as well as the anabaptists! They are the most beautiful singers in the world. We sang about 8 hymns.

Then the pastor called for prayer requests. At this meeting, women were allowed to request prayer, but at some the women have to ask a man to make their prayer request.

Then we all turned around at our seats, knelt down in front of the chairs and prayed with our elbows on the seats. At first it was a little odd, but it was okay. We prayed for about 1/2 an hour.

Then the elder elder read from the scriptures, and the preacher, who was another elder, expounded on what was read and how it applied to Amish life in this day and age.

Then they sang again, 3 songs, and the pastor dismissed them with prayer.

A collection was taken up, but they passed me by because I was a visitor and they don't like to ask visitors for money.

It was a very orderly service.

I went to a dunkard church for a while and they had basically the same order of service, only they allowed husbands and wives sit together. Not dating couples, just married men and the women they were married to!

I think you will love it! It's a great experience.

They may or may not ask you to their homes for lunch. Sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.

 

[theAmishGirl]

We went to the service today, which ended up being about 3 and a half hours long. I have to admit it was very weird to pull up in a car- lots of odd looks- but two of the elders immediately came and greeted us, and then one of them took us inside. They did have a split service- women on the right, men on the left. We opened by singing about 3-4 hymns and then one of the elders got up to speak. After his message and thoughts we had about a five minute prayer kneeling in front of our chairs/benchs. Then another elder (one of the ones who greeted us) spoke with a more organized message and then the elders called on various men in the church to give their opinions and feelings on the service. After that we had another prayer and then we had a final hymn. As soon as the service was over we both got surrounded in our respective corners by the entire congregation. We got invited to lunch by the family of the second elder that spoke. It was wonderful!! I think we ended up staying for about 9 hours total. We were going to stay for a singing and community supper too, but Steven had to head home.

So yeah- basically we ended up being really accepted. I can't wait til next week- thought I think we will park at the market and walk the rest of the way in though!!

 

[ZiSunka]

 

[Danfrey]

I am thrilled it went well for you. As people get comfortable with you being there you will begin to get a feel for the people. It takes a little while for the honeymoon to wear off. Just understand that as the novelty wears off, it is not that people are not interested in you, they are just busy like we all are. It is good to connect closely with a couple of people that you can spend time with outside of church. This will allow you to begin to understand the inner workings of the community. All this advice from someone who has only been a member of a conservative church for about 4 months before running away. (long story)

 

[theAmishGirl]

Thanks- I'll keep that in mind... the advice not the running away part! I got a chance to spend a lot of time talking with the ministers oldest daughter who is 5 years older than I and Steven also got to know one of their sons who is his age pretty well. It was such a change from how I was raised. Religion was never a topic in my home, yet in theirs we talked about different aspects of the church for probably an hours or more between Ayle (the daughter), myself and Ida (minister's wife). There were so many women there that seemed very welcoming, I'm sure I can find a few good friends among them!

 

[Jehane]

Thanks- I'll keep that in mind... the advice not the running away part! I got a chance to spend a lot of time talking with the ministers oldest daughter who is 5 years older than I and Steven also got to know one of their sons who is his age pretty well. It was such a change from how I was raised. Religion was never a topic in my home, yet in theirs we talked about different aspects of the church for probably an hours or more between Ayle (the daughter), myself and Ida (minister's wife). There were so many women there that seemed very welcoming, I'm sure I can find a few good friends among them!

I am so happy that everything went well for you. It can be so scarey trying ti fit into a new community when you're not sure how they'll see you. Praise God!