Dating a Mormon

[Nathaniel Meyer]

I'm a college aged male who has been dating a girl that I had thought to be a Christian. She is very moral and says she goes to church and even believes she is a Christian. I recently found out that she is, in fact, a Mormon and attends an LDS church. I am familiar with the beliefs of the Mormon church, and I know they are not Christian and that they are lost. This girl does not seem to fully understand or fully believe all of the Mormon church's teachings, and I feel that there is an opportunity to evangelize. I'm in a tough situation, seeing that we have been romantically involved, and her entire family is Mormon and would not approve of her leaving their faith. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? I've prayed to God for an answer and so far I've just had an honest conversation with her about my faith and given my personal testimony. It's quite challenging, because she thinks we believe in the same God.

 

[Albion]

I feel that there is an opportunity to evangelize. I'm in a tough situation, seeing that we have been romantically involved, and her entire family is Mormon and would not approve of her leaving their faith. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? I've prayed to God for an answer and so far I've just had an honest conversation with her about my faith and given my personal testimony. It's quite challenging, because she thinks we believe in the same God.

It's a toughie, Nathaniel. I'd say that it depends on whether or not she's willing to listen to specifics about why her "we're the same, etc." perspective isn't accurate. Some people would be willing to do so, others would be so offended that they couldn't.

If no progress is possible, but you want a future with her and she shows no yearning to convert you, I'd say that your only other avenue would be to attempt to discuss with her how to be together while holding the different views you two do, and see if a "live and let live" posture towards the other one's faith is do-able. For many people, it is. And then, in the long run, without any badgering from you, it's possible that she will have a change of heart anyway.

 

[Tigger45]

I was born and have lived most my life in Utah and have a pretty good 'feel' for how these types of situations work out in real time. First understand most LDS are weak on deeper theological maters but very strong on church/family loyalty. In Mormonism church and family go hand in hand and most 'in the end' will choose Mormonism and their family over Truth as its revealed in the historical, biblical Christ. Also keep in mind what people say during the honeymoon stage of a relationship and choosing where to get married, (Mormon temple sealed for time and eternity) and which church baptizes the kids is a serious matter when the real time to make those decisions raises its head. Could you allow your kids to be baptized Mormon? Can you then tell her now that a Mormon baptism and doctrination of the kids is unexceptable? It's best to have these tough questions addressed now better then when a lot more is at stake.

 

[Wintermint]

Hi Nathaniel,
That is a tough place to be! I sadly concur with your assessment of the L.D.S. Church, and have had reaching it to Mormons on my heart for quiet a while.
One of the best resources I would recommend is the book, "One Nation Under Gods: A History of the Mormon Church" by Richard Abanes. It's a hefty copy, but if your in college you may appreciate that size of book. I recommend it because of a table it has that is simply a rundown of the differences between Mormonism and Christianity. Even more helpful is the meaty reference index at the back to support the table it provides. (I don't know if I would just show her the book though. She will probably feel uncomfortable with it as a whole, but maybe just photo copy the table?)
It may help create some more thoughtful conversations on the differences with a clearer outline.
I'd also recommend you get a copy of their four scriptures. They have a bound version of all four books they call "The Standard Works" I find that it's common for Mormons to not be fully aware of their teachings so I keep one myself and put color coated tabs in it to show clear context right from their own text compared to the bible they have.

I think it's wise that your seeking help on this topic. I don't know you, so I feel the need to say the (possibly obvious) necessary warning that you're on the right track to be concerned. If you marry someone that isn't equally yoked even if she is a wonderful girl, (and it sounds like she really is!) that things will not go well. Two become one, and that's huge!

Okay. I really think you didn't need that, seeing your question, and how you worded yourself but I didn't feel right not putting it there.

I do think it's more then possible you could lead her to Christ! And that's more then enough reason to wait on this in my opinion, but may I make a few suggestions on that?
One, I would put a hold on your relationship. Let her know your not looking elsewhere, and still get together the same amount, but don't move forward until you have this figured out. I would let her know this is for her sake too, because you would not accept being Mormon, (temple marriage and so on-) so this is for both of you.
If you are being "physical" together, I would work on stopping that for the time being. I'm not even talking about sex (as that should come after marriage and seeing that you said she was moral I assume it's not an issue) but kissing or hand holding "couple" things. I would do that simply so your head is straight through this time. Maybe even have a friend be there with you both through this if that's a problem? (Not knowing you makes these a answers awkward, sorry about that.)

Two, I'd set some goals, and see what you both think you would need to figure out between you of you were to marry. (Seeing that marriage is the end result of dating, that seems reasonable to me, even if that's not the plan yet.)

Three, I'd do some open ended searching with her. I bet your already studding quite a bit, but turn this into another class for both of your benefit. (I would always pray before you start and maybe have a quick devotional together before each chat) and take turns telling what you both believe, and then seek out more on that. (Possibly using the One Nations Under God's table as a guideline?)

And lastly, I'd consider this- even if she gives her life to The Lord, your going to possibly want to wait on the relationship for a while. She would be a new Christian, and you STILL might not be equally yoked. Knowing if she's saved or just moved by your heart and not The Lord would take time.
Also, it would be hard to marry someone that is far more knowledgeable in faith then you are, and that's where she would be at first. It would be more like a parent child relationship for a while between you two and that's not fun when your adding on the stress of new marriage. You would want to stand by her and let her become a new creation in Christ and support her thought it over time.
I'm sure she's worth it if it came to that, but I'm betting it will be super hard to slow down and wait on your relationship when she came to Christ. All that new hope and beauty in her heart, and the joy of having supported her and been there all along and then you have to keep your relationship at a distance!? Bummer!! But that's what I would recommend. For a while. Maybe involve your pastor in the time you should wait?

But I'm just some person on the internet, so take what I say with a grain of salt.

I'll be praying for your both tonight. I hope that no matter how this story turns out, that you'll see the Hand of God in your life for this time and that you'll only grow closer to Him. (Oh, and I hope you end up with someone perfect for you- this wonderful young lady or someone else God will bring I to your life. What ever it is may you be blessed, my friend)

Alright- I'll go pray now.

 

[ToBeLoved]

I'm a college aged male who has been dating a girl that I had thought to be a Christian. She is very moral and says she goes to church and even believes she is a Christian. I recently found out that she is, in fact, a Mormon and attends an LDS church. I am familiar with the beliefs of the Mormon church, and I know they are not Christian and that they are lost. This girl does not seem to fully understand or fully believe all of the Mormon church's teachings, and I feel that there is an opportunity to evangelize. I'm in a tough situation, seeing that we have been romantically involved, and her entire family is Mormon and would not approve of her leaving their faith. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do? I've prayed to God for an answer and so far I've just had an honest conversation with her about my faith and given my personal testimony. It's quite challenging, because she thinks we believe in the same God.

I'll tell you this much and it is the truth.

They use all our words, but assign other meanings to them, they are taught that way by the church. From salvation, to atonement, to God vs. thousands of gods, to satan being Jesus brother, to the Father and the virgin Mary (literally) coming together to create Jesus, to all our books in the Bible. They rewrote all of Moses, they have a book of Moses. They beleive they descended from the 12 Tribes of Israel, they hold the Aaronic Priesthood, Melchezedek priesthood, have the power to command angels, to believing they will be gods of their own planet and husband and wife in the afterlife will (literally) create more spirit children to come to earth. And that is only touching the surface.

She may nod her head in agreement,but ask her to explain it to you. Maybe with their books I guess every Mormon has at home. Don't take for granted that what you mean, she will also take that same meaning. And do not let emotions play into it or testimony. That is personal. Keep it about doctrine.

With that said, there are people who are 'known' for knowing how to witness to Mormons, many are ex-Mormons. Look for articles, videos for 'ex Mormons' or Talking to Mormons, that sort of thing. Look for the people who have come out of the church and are now Christian.

God bless you. Make good decisions Nathan.

 

[Goodbook]

Do you fellowship with a church? Maybe invite her to a service or a bible study and see how it goes.

Pray about this though. I have mormon neighbours and live in a mormon area ( an LDS church is just round the block). Usually they do not associate with non-mormons. It tends to be the males that evangelise for their religion, not the females. With JWs its the other way around.

I'm not sure what other advice can give you but as for me I wouldn't set foot in a mormon church..I am uncomfortable with it. That she didn't tell you and just assumed you were christian seems to me she's just raised in it and doesn't know any different.