Concept of "Speaking Into" someone's life

[GardeningGirl]

Hello everyone,

As a committed believer and a member of the Body of Christ, I know that we are to exhort and encourage one another and also to allow ourselves to be honed 'as iron sharpens iron;' this is scriptural and beneficial. I also know that if we see a brother/sister straying from the path, we are to prayerfully and humbly approach that person in an attempt to gently restore him/her. Yet I find myself having an issue with this concept of 'speaking into' another's life, as I had a friend who came to me with a list she'd compiled of all the 'bad decisions' she claimed to have seen me make over the years. She was incredibly angry -- shaking, crying and raising her voice. This was fueled by my husband's decision for us to leave one church over a big theological issue and seek out another church. BTW, we left quietly and only after talking all this over with the pastor, and it was an amicable departure. (She is in the church we left). In her anger, she hurled insults and called me some horrible names and then dared me to forgive her for all the things she was saying. After 90 minutes of this, she then saw fit to send me 2 follow-up emails. I kept pretty quiet other than to let her know that her words were destructive, damaging and slanderous. Her response was that, even though she knew her words were hurtful and careless, she did what she was supposed to do in her efforts to 'protect the church.' It's been nearly 4 months ago that this happened, and she is continuing to rest in her decision, so we no longer have a relationship.

How is one to correctly 'speak into' another's life? When is it warranted?

In His Service,

GardeningGirl



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[texastig]

Wait on God. He will setup the time and place.
Thanks,
TT

 

[dizzydoll]

It sounds to me like this lady has a need for either validation or is projecting her personal issues on to you. I'd pray, wait then pray again before acting. Even when our intentions are good ones speaking into someones life without God's blessing can have negative results Ive had people judge and correct me who don't know me. They assume things and I ve done the same. We got new minister. His wife is sweet and solid in the Lord. The move was hard for her along with other things she is dealing with. Wanting to help her feel at ease. I sent an email and baisically here is what I said. She had felt kinda bad that she had been not very involved etc. So in the email I told her not to let satan put off a fishbowl mentaltiy on her and that I would not force her to fellowship with me but would be avail if she needed anything. I pointed out that people who really care would respect her boundries without judging her. Aparantly, she took it wrong. Worse yet it seem I remind her of somone from the church they came from who was brash and outspoken. I'm not like that. Aparantly, I even look like this lady. So the minister's wife kinda got rubbed the wrong way so to speak. I tried to apologize but made things worse. All I wanted to do was encourage her. Both of us are wrong for assuming things. She inapropraitely compared and judged me from a past expiernce which is something we have all done at one time or another. I didn't pray and wait for God's respons. Maby this lady had a negative expierence and compared you somehow with it. IN any case the way she aproached you is not Biblical. Here is what I learned. Pray wait then pray again. If there is no peace don't act. IF you move forward do it in love. Write it down first, compare to scripture. Wait then review keep doing this process until you see the what and the how.
Blessings
Izzy

 

[GardeningGirl]

Thank you so much for your responses. I see that I need to be a bit more clear, however, in writing that I am not looking to 'speak into' her life at all or go to her in any way. It is because she came at me saying that she needed to 'speak into' my life and then proceeded to crush me with her words that I am wondering when confronting others biblically is appropriate. Obviously, her approach was brutal and something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I am staying far, far from her at this point, as she believes she did nothing wrong. I just don't understand how someone who claims to be coming in love and claims to have the Lord's leading in coming at all could speak with such anger and slander -- and then proceed to rest in that? I'm just really in turmoil over the whole thing.

Thanks again,
GardeningGirl

 

[dizzydoll]

Doesn't sound to me like you can get resolution by confronting it. Leave it to God and stay away from her, block her emails or have em set up to go to spam and she won't even know you did not read them. It hurts when we are assaulted in this way. When My hubby and I first married his mom did not aprove of me. There were many years of heartache and turmoil but I kept lifting it up to God. No matter what happend I'd just keep crying out to God. To this day she still does not completely accept me however we have made much progress and get along well. Its been almost 17 years. Keep your heart and soul in line with God, free His Holiness to go before you and work His Glory into it.

 

[JPPT1974]

Doesn't sound to me like you can get resolution by confronting it. Leave it to God and stay away from her, block her emails or have em set up to go to spam and she won't even know you did not read them. It hurts when we are assaulted in this way. When My hubby and I first married his mom did not aprove of me. There were many years of heartache and turmoil but I kept lifting it up to God. No matter what happend I'd just keep crying out to God. To this day she still does not completely accept me however we have made much progress and get along well. Its been almost 17 years. Keep your heart and soul in line with God, free His Holiness to go before you and work His Glory into it.

Sorry for you all and that
Hopefully you will be accepted by
Her and that don't lose hope.
That God will open her heart to you!