Christian friends with benefits

[Puer]

I know what your all thinking," no sex before marriage!" but I'm not talking about sex here. This girl and I used to date and are both christians We both have a lot of physical attractions still built up from when we dated. We kinda considered the notion of becoming friends with benefits for only one date. We would not be having sex but would me making and grabbing certain parts etc. I have been leaning towards saying no, but I couldn't find much about this in the bible. Please give your opinion

 

[BFine]

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
---------------------------------------------------

The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. By his power God raised the Lord from the dead, and he will raise us also. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.” But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

 

[Johnnz]

Sex is not confined just to intercourse. You want to engage in sexual activity. Sex without relationship. Sex for stimulation. Sex merely as biology. How does that fit in with a Christian understanding of what sex really is about?

John
NZ

 

[Pal Handy]

I know what your all thinking," no sex before marriage!" but I'm not talking about sex here. This girl and I used to date and are both christians We both have a lot of physical attractions still built up from when we dated. We kinda considered the notion of becoming friends with benefits for only one date. We would not be having sex but would me making and grabbing certain parts etc. I have been leaning towards saying no, but I couldn't find much about this in the bible. Please give your opinion

Why?
Why do you seek intimacy with someone you know you are not
going to grow with in a meaningful relationship that leads to marriage?

Why torment yourself?

If you are a Christian and she is too, why would you even consider this?

Instead of getting together for the sexual titillation and temptation
to go farther in sin or ending up in fustration, why don't you go to a Christian
concert or help out at a local food bank and do something together for the
kingdom of God?

Friends, especially Christian friends, should encourage each other to go higher and progress
in the Lord instead of finding ways to get as close to sin as they can but escape self
examination or judgement on a technicality.

Just say no to this proposal and ask God to send the right person
into your life and ask Him to keep you from tempting others and yourself to sin.

God will reward you if you give this up and ask Him to be
the Lord of your life in this area of sexual temptation.

Anytime you go God's way it will pay off in wonderful ways as
God will give back to you blessings untold whenever you surrender
your desire for sin and ask Him to bring His love and blessings into your life.

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

. . . what is this I don't even. . .

 

[NewUser777]

We would not be having sex but would me making and grabbing certain parts etc.

The more parts you grab, the more you will want to have sex.

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

and when you unlock the book & throw away the key, it ain't ever shuttin' again.

 

[MountainofGod1]

sex is a highly damaging weapon being used by the enemy against the church now that so many men in the church are addicted to porn.

 

[beautygal123]

Friends with benefits is never a good idea, Christian or not. The temptation will become too strong, and you will do something you'll severely regret. Some people look at intercourse as the be-all-end-all of sexual acts, but if you ask me, any ill-intentioned act for pure lustful pleasure is just as bad.

I also don't think being friends with a former love is a good idea. There is a reason you aren't together, and you are unknowingly going backwards in life, instead of forward.

 

[MountainofGod1]

I'm not going to say its entirely destructive as a life style. Plenty of my friends do it. I tried to do it. I found that with the holy spirit inside me it was hard to cross the barrier on a regular basis.

if you try suppress the flesh and tell yourself lust is sin and sin is wrong, you will find a difficult and often unwinnable battle

this is why you get married so that you can regulate the urge and not burn with passion

at least thats my conscience. But its interesting to hear about other people who are Christians and have tried to do it.

 

[hedrick]

I'm less legalistic on pre-marital sex than most readers here. But this one gives even me a bad feeling: (1) it sounds a bit too much like a one-night stand, which isn't the kind of situation where I might be open to an exception, (2) given Mat 5:27-30, I don't think Christians should be trying to come as close to the line as possible, justifying it because it isn't technically sex. If it has similar emotional consequences, it should be considered the same, even if there's no physical contact. It sounds to me like what you're talking about falls into that category.

 

[MountainofGod1]

its unfortunate that a place like this will offer you advice from people who have only ever been with 1 person.

 

[TheDag]

its unfortunate that a place like this will offer you advice from people who have only ever been with 1 person.

is that an assumption? also why is their view less valid. Ok they may not understand the struggle it can be to remain celibate after not being celibate but in understanding scripture it is not relevent.

 

[Genersis]

If you are both ok with it, know each others boundaries, and know neither of you will feel emotionally hurt or guilty after then i'd say it's ok.

But the body does have a habit of forming emotional(but often unfounded) bonds with sexual partners.(Not being funny, but there would definitely be some sexual stimulation going on by the sounds of it.)
Be careful is all i can say. It could damage the friendship you have.
Oh.
And play safe. IF you do go that far of course. But that doesn't sound like your intention.

 

[beautygal123]

I'm not going to say its entirely destructive as a life style. Plenty of my friends do it. I tried to do it. I found that with the holy spirit inside me it was hard to cross the barrier on a regular basis.

if you try suppress the flesh and tell yourself lust is sin and sin is wrong, you will find a difficult and often unwinnable battle

this is why you get married so that you can regulate the urge and not burn with passion

at least thats my conscience. But its interesting to hear about other people who are Christians and have tried to do it.

read on...

its unfortunate that a place like this will offer you advice from people who have only ever been with 1 person.

That's quite the assumption you make there, ain't it?

I am NOT a virgin. I have been with more than one person. I have done everything you can imagine, plus some. Sex, drugs, rock and roll. That was my past, and that's not how I live my life now.

What I can tell you, is that FWB situations always end with someone getting hurt. One person will develop feelings, one wont. One person will get jealous, the other wont. It's a bad, bad idea, ESPECIALLY when they've previously dated. I've done it, many times, and it always ended bad.

Save yourself (or her) the heartbreak.

 

[MountainofGod1]

my experience with that (being with one woman only) and having many friends who have had 50+ FWB, is it leaves the burden more on the woman than the man, men can live with it quite easily. I don't know enough women to know the effect it has on them in general.

One of my friends, the guy I hang around most these days has probably had 50 partners.

I don't really have any right giving advice on this subject.

 

[lemon-aid stand]

I know what your all thinking," no sex before marriage!" but I'm not talking about sex here. This girl and I used to date and are both christians We both have a lot of physical attractions still built up from when we dated. We kinda considered the notion of becoming friends with benefits for only one date. We would not be having sex but would me making and grabbing certain parts etc. I have been leaning towards saying no, but I couldn't find much about this in the bible. Please give your opinion

that is sex.. do whatever you like.. in the end.. you will feel that God has turned His back on you.. but, truthfully. it is you turning away.. there is no such thing as friends with benefits.. the fact that you even ask is evident of how serious you are about the christian faith.. so all i can tell you is that you have already decided.. are you now looking for approval.. like that is ever going to happen.. i don't say this often but isn't it time that you grew up i have had two flags that have told me that this may not be an actual christian site.. you are the second.. the first was a thread that was stopped because it offended homosexuals.. ya like thats the Heaven i am focused on.. there is no such thing a liberal christianity.. that is called churchianity..and that neverbrought anyone out of the darkness.. i'll say a prayer

 

[janny108]

that is sex.. do whatever you like.. in the end.. you will feel that God has turned His back on you.. but, truthfully. it is you turning away.. there is no such thing as friends with benefits.. the fact that you even ask is evident of how serious you are about the christian faith.. so all i can tell you is that you have already decided.. are you now looking for approval.. like that is ever going to happen.. i don't say this often but isn't it time that you grew up i have had two flags that have told me that this may not be an actual christian site.. you are the second.. the first was a thread that was stopped because it offended homosexuals.. ya like thats the Heaven i am focused on.. there is no such thing a liberal christianity.. that is called churchianity..and that neverbrought anyone out of the darkness.. i'll say a prayer

that is right lemon aid stand!! You said everything I was thinking pretty much.

 

[MasterpieceMesias]

lool 'friends with benefits' is a stupid concept anyways. Most people who engage in it usually act like a couple or end up destroying each other's relationship. . . human stupidity at its best (or maybe not)

 

[iambren]

Man, why couldn't I ever find those girls !!??

Go at it, but don't be surprised if you end up having sex.

Oh, and have a nice time living with an empty, unfulfilled heart. Sex without love and commitment is not God's way.