Challenging ageism in the Church

[Michie]

Age has rapidly become a massively divisive issue in societies across the world. But is the Church any better at bridging the generation divide?

Politicians, donors and voters in the United States are becoming increasingly concerned about President Joe Biden's age and health, following his performance in the recent TV debate with Donald Trump.

Should President Biden fight the upcoming election, or stand aside for someone younger, is the question being asked.

In the UK, many churches are concerned about the increasing age of their congregations. The Church of England has set 'growing younger and more diverse' as one of its key priorities. The CofE wants to 'double the number of children and young active disciples in the Church of England by 2030.'

It's a brave and important objective and will be a vital part of renewing the Church as it seeks to serve the people of the nation for years ahead.

But, almost subliminally, it contains another message, and one not intended I'm sure by those who drew up the strategy. And it's this – that it can make older people feel less valued in our congregations and church networks.

At a recent conference in London, a senior Salvation Army representative used a slide in his presentation that contained a key message. It said simply, 'An older church is not a failing church.'

Continued below.

Challenging ageism in the Church

Age has rapidly become a massively divisive issue in societies across the world. But is the Church any better at bridging the generation divide?

christiantoday.com

 

[The Liturgist]

In the Orthodox Church, unlike the RCC, there is no mandatory retirement age for bishops.

 

[Arcangl86]

I think it's a complicated question. Older saints can indeed be of incredible value to the Church. But the simple reality is that there are less of them. The Episcopal Church does have a mandatory retirement age for priests and bishops, but it's set fairly high and even when priests hit it they often still keep working as volunteers. And that can be valuable in places where the parishes can't afford to pay a priest something they can live off of. But a lot of them are also in parishes that can pay a comfortable salary and those slots are not available for younger priests. And there is also an expectation that you shouldn't be ordained before a certain age. This leads to a serious deficit in young leadership, and when millennials and zoomers walk into church, they see people their parent's age in charge and don't want anything to do with that because they feel, correctly or incorrectly, that their needs won't be cared for. It's a tough balance.

 

[FireDragon76]

I think it's a complicated question. Older saints can indeed be of incredible value to the Church. But the simple reality is that there are less of them. The Episcopal Church does have a mandatory retirement age for priests and bishops, but it's set fairly high and even when priests hit it they often still keep working as volunteers. And that can be valuable in places where the parishes can't afford to pay a priest something they can live off of. But a lot of them are also in parishes that can pay a comfortable salary and those slots are not available for younger priests. And there is also an expectation that you shouldn't be ordained before a certain age. This leads to a serious deficit in young leadership, and when millennials and zoomers walk into church, they see people their parent's age in charge and don't want anything to do with that because they feel, correctly or incorrectly, that their needs won't be cared for. It's a tough balance.

I go to a church where the average age is over 70.

I'm against ageism, but ageism cuts goes both ways. When churches aren't welcoming to younger people, when older generations create a clique, it can be offputting and might be one of the reasons many of our churches are declining.

I actually think younger people in some ways now days are potentially more emotionally mature than many older people were at the same age. Many are also more cognitively sophisticated. I don't think that's appreciated in many established, traditional churches.

 

[dzheremi]

Hmm. I think we in the Coptic Orthodox Church may actually have the opposite problem, in a certain respect. The number of times I've heard Coptic intellectuals (for lack of a better way to put it; I mean people who know the historic norms and practices of the Church especially well) point out that, no, your 6 year old is not a deacon just because he is put in a sash and gives the appropriate responses and holds the candles as an older also-not-deacon intones the Psalm or the Epistle is...well, it's not zero. It's a relatively common complaint from those who know what they are talking about. A positive spin is sometimes put on this, re: "train up a child in the way that he should go..." (Proverbs 22:6), and that is perhaps not untrue, but it also can't obscure that in reality we've just really messed up the traditional concept of the diaconate, at least in the diaspora (I can't speak for Egypt or the wider MENA region, since I don't live there). I've met exactly one proper deacon in a dozen years in the Church. But anyway, yes, ageism is bad in either direction. A church with few youth has no future, and a church with few elders has no stability and will tend to lack the sort of wisdom that can only be gained through experience. Both are fatal if not remedied.

 

[JustaPewFiller]

I go to a church where the average age is over 70.

I'm against ageism, but ageism cuts goes both ways. When churches aren't welcoming to younger people, when older generations create a clique, it can be offputting and might be one of the reasons many of our churches are declining.

I actually think younger people in some ways now days are potentially more emotionally mature than many older people were at the same age. Many are also more cognitively sophisticated. I don't think that's appreciated in many established, traditional churches.

I went to a church for a number of years that was like that. I think the average age was 74. Being middle aged, my wife and I were some of the younger ones in the church.

It was a very small, very close knit and very loving congregation. But, the church had an issue. It was dying. Literally. In the space of a year 6 members went home to see the Lord. This was roughly 15% of the congregation. Without some new members the church would not exist in a few years.

One young family visited twice, but never returned. I reached out to ask them why. They said, they felt welcomed and loved. They said they could see and feel the love of God in the people. They said they could tell there was nothing bad there that would be harmful to them or their children. BUT - The decor of the church was very dated, the music was very dated, the AV was horrible, the preaching style was dated, their children were the only children and there was nothing for them. As a result their kids were very very bored and hated it.

In the end, they summed it up like this, "Visiting your church was like visiting our grandparents. They are in their 80's. Nothing has changed in their home or their routines for probably 30 years and they don't want anything to change. It is like stepping back in time. We know we are welcomed and loved there. But, we do not want to live there."

Likewise, change came hard for the little church and its elderly congregation. They wanted younger people. But balked at the changes to make the young people more comfortable. Also, they frankly did not have enough people or energy to make those changes. In the end, what they really wanted, was for people to join the church that liked the church exactly the way they liked it. Which was exactly how the church had been for roughly 40 years with very little change. The congregation struggled to voice that, but that was what they wanted..

This little church's solution was to embrace that they were an elderly church for elderly people. Instead of doing visitation in neighborhoods of younger families they started targeting 55+ communities. They also did a few events targeted at an older audience.

The result - it worked! Praise the Lord! The church isn't exactly growing. But it isn't dying either. It is a small, stable, loving church with an elderly congregation. My wife and I did end up moving on from this church. No hard feelings, nothing wrong. But similar to the younger couple, it was not for us.

In many respects, it is hard for a small church with an elderly congregation to change enough to draw young families for a variety of reasons.

 

[FireDragon76]

I went to a church for a number of years that was like that. I think the average age was 74. Being middle aged, my wife and I were some of the younger ones in the church.

It was a very small, very close knit and very loving congregation. But, the church had an issue. It was dying. Literally. In the space of a year 6 members went home to see the Lord. This was roughly 15% of the congregation. Without some new members the church would not exist in a few years.

One young family visited twice, but never returned. I reached out to ask them why. They said, they felt welcomed and loved. They said they could see and feel the love of God in the people. They said they could tell there was nothing bad there that would be harmful to them or their children. BUT - The decor of the church was very dated, the music was very dated, the AV was horrible, the preaching style was dated, their children were the only children and there was nothing for them. As a result their kids were very very bored and hated it.

In the end, they summed it up like this, "Visiting your church was like visiting our grandparents. They are in their 80's. Nothing has changed in their home or their routines for probably 30 years and they don't want anything to change. It is like stepping back in time. We know we are welcomed and loved there. But, we do not want to live there."

Likewise, change came hard for the little church and its elderly congregation. They wanted younger people. But balked at the changes to make the young people more comfortable. Also, they frankly did not have enough people or energy to make those changes. In the end, what they really wanted, was for people to join the church that liked the church exactly the way they liked it. Which was exactly how the church had been for roughly 40 years with very little change. The congregation struggled to voice that, but that was what they wanted..

This little church's solution was to embrace that they were an elderly church for elderly people. Instead of doing visitation in neighborhoods of younger families they started targeting 55+ communities. They also did a few events targeted at an older audience.

The result - it worked! Praise the Lord! The church isn't exactly growing. But it isn't dying either. It is a small, stable, loving church with an elderly congregation. My wife and I did end up moving on from this church. No hard feelings, nothing wrong. But similar to the younger couple, it was not for us.

In many respects, it is hard for a small church with an elderly congregation to change enough to draw young families for a variety of reasons.

Yes, that's exactly the problem in many churches like mine. Very loving people, but nobody really wants anything to change.

One thing I don't think the older people in these kinds of churches understand is that religious adherence is no longer normative, younger people won't be going to church anymore because it's supposedly the socially accepted or right thing to do. Young people now days are even more potentially spiritual seekers than in the past, it's just older generations aren't, and are unwilling to change.

 

[okay]

I am in the process of finding a new church home so have seen some of these things first-hand. Some tiny churches full of seniors really are wonderful communities of faith, and I have met some beautiful folks who use their extra time to do a lot of praying. But before I retire in 15ish years most of the members will probably have gone to be with the Lord.

So I have been mostly visiting churches that have active children’s programs. These still tend to have a lot of older members (who I love to spend time with), but are more likely to still be viable when I am old.

Back when I was an evangelical it was easier to find truly intergenerational churches. Now that I don’t at all fit there and am looking at mainline congregations it is a lot more difficult.