Catholic dating a Pagan

[hypnagog]

I'm falling in love with a Wiccan. I am a practicing Catholic with a mother who wouldn't accept anything less than a Christian girl. We are perfect soulmates except for our religious differences. She said she would be fine with our kids being raised Catholic as long as I accept and respect her religious views (that would've been the deal breaker). Can such a relationship be feasible? How can I reconcile the polar disagreements of our faith? Is it possible to just ignore our religious differences and focus on the other reasons we love each other? When the time comes, how would I deal with my mothers objections? Does the Catholic church accept such a bond? Does anyone know of similar relationships where it has worked out? I appreciate the time and advice, faith and love are two heavyweights and I am very confused.

Dan

 

[Sketcher]

Bad idea. You cannot reconcile the polar disagreements between your faiths. And when children come into the picture, that is another problem. Parents need to be a united force raising their children, they don't deserve the confusion of Momy telling them A and Daddy telling them B. Besides, wicca involves witchcraft, keep yourself and your future kids far away from that.

"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? " - 2 Cor 6:14-15

 

[PaladinValer]

Bad use of Scripture that deals with a common active worship between two different religions, not two people living together.

OP, I'd suggest taking your advice to OBOB

 

[LiberatedChick]

I'm in an unequally yoked relationship (married before I became Christian) and believe me it's not easy. God tells us not to be unequally yoked for a reason. You may think it'd be possible for this to work now but what if her beliefs evolve and she no longer wishes for your children to be raised catholic, what if your children grow up learning about witchcraft and how would you feel missing out one of the most wonderful things about marriage...a spiritual connection between husband and wife.

Marriage goes deeper than two people loving each other and exchanging some vows, it involves God. So many advise that God should be at the centre of every married relationship...that can't happen if one of the people in that relationship doesn't know God. There's so many things that I miss even though I've never experienced them...praying with my husband, going to church with him, reading the bible together and generally living our lives with God at the centre of them. Now this doesn't even mention that non-Christians have no concept of sin...they believe sin doesn't matter to them because they don't believe in it. If she practices witchcraft she's already committing one sin, what others will she commit without giving a second thought to? It can place a huge strain on a relationship when one person is trying to live a Godly life and the other doesn't care. Not to mention that it can drag you into sinning also.

God doesn't say not to be unequally yoked just because he felt like it, he has very good reason which many don't understand until they're in such a relationship.

 

[mostie]

I know from experience that it's one thing to say you don't mind having your children raised catholic before you have them...but once you actually have a child? All of a sudden it's a whole new ballgame. What didn't matter before, matters a lot now---I would think long and hard about that situation you have- and I know that's so hard, if you love the person- you keep justifying to yourself why it could work, etc---but the truth is, it could be a hugely bad situation---someone who practices wicca....what kind of spiritual forces does that bring into the household, into your lives?

 

[Mrs. Enigma]

THe differences are irreconcileable. It's hard enough to make a good marriage when you both are of the same religion.

 

[absolutely_lost_86]

i think its a bad idea. u will have problems in the long run. ur beliefs are totally different. It says in the bible many times "Do not be yoked with unbelievers"

 

[InTheFlame]

Visit the Unequally Yoked subforum of Marriage Ministry... read through the posts, see if you can feel a bit of the heartache that runs through those posts... it's not an easy or a good road to go down.

 

[BlessedVegan]

I think it can work out but it's very difficult. My Mom is a Catholic and my father is an atheist, and they've been married for over 30 years. They do have fights sometimes but overall have a very strong relationship. BUT it has taken a lot of work to be that way, and I know sometimes it is hard on my Mom because my father can tend to be disrespectiful about her beliefs. I'm not sure about the kid thing. It's easy for your gf to say that now, but honestly, if I were a Wiccan or whatever, I would resent not being able to share that with my children, and rightfully so. If you feel your religious ideas are correct, of coutse you want to share it with your kids. And even if she doesn't bring her ideas to her children, one of two things will happen. 1) the kids will think Mommy's bad for her ideas or 2) they will think she's fine, and that will undermine their Christian faith. If you didn't intend to have kids I'd think it differently, but it will definatley confuse your kids. I just got out of a long relationship because my ex could not reconcile with me becoming a Christian (I did not have a problem with his not being a Christian). I am not going to have children so that wasn't an issue for me. I think that "yolked with unbelievers" thing is taken too far..it sounds like you're being forced to associate with them, which of course you aren't when it's relationship based on love and respect. In the end it's up to you, pray about it and think long and hard about if you REALLY think you two are soulmates, not just that your attarcted to her now. Try to be honest with yourself about it. It's better to realize these things now then years down the road.
PS..just so you know I have made the desicion not to date non Christians, it just leads to too many difficulties for me.

 

[MissAmy]

Dan,
I was in your boat (almost) a few years back. I fell in love with an atheist. I know it's hard to leave the one you love, but sometimes it's the best option. I do continue to date atheist at my own discretion but it's hard. Wiccan religion is pretty serious, and you really are at either end of the God spectrum. At the end of the day do what you feel's right for you, but I beg you to include God in your plans. Let him be the unseen third party in your relationship, you'll be amazed how much richer your relationship would be if you do.
Side bar point: maybe God brought you together to show her His light. Pray about. I'll be praying for you two too.

 

[techjedi]

I married a Catholic, and so far we are doing wonderfully.... granted I am a Christian, just not Catholic, so we at least have a core faith that is the same. Inter-faith/religion marriages tend to be a lot more difficult, feasible at times, but difficult.

The only advice I can offer is to sit down and have a LOT more talks with your GF and dig into the issue more. Bring up some of the scenarios, besides just bringing kids up Catholic, get into what that would be like. You also need to face the idea of one of you children rejecting your faith in favor of your GF's (by their own choice). If it is meant to be you will come up with the answers and you will feel good about your mutual decisions.

Typically a Catholic church won't pass judgment on the marriage, but will require that you go to an engaged couples class (typically a full day a weekend) and also it will limit the ceremony itself. They won't perform a full mass with the eucharist since that would be seen as divisive at a time of unity.

 

[hypnagog]

I married a Catholic, and so far we are doing wonderfully.... granted I am a Christian, just not Catholic, so we at least have a core faith that is the same. Inter-faith/religion marriages tend to be a lot more difficult, feasible at times, but difficult.

The only advice I can offer is to sit down and have a LOT more talks with your GF and dig into the issue more. Bring up some of the scenarios, besides just bringing kids up Catholic, get into what that would be like. You also need to face the idea of one of you children rejecting your faith in favor of your GF's (by their own choice). If it is meant to be you will come up with the answers and you will feel good about your mutual decisions.

Typically a Catholic church won't pass judgment on the marriage, but will require that you go to an engaged couples class (typically a full day a weekend) and also it will limit the ceremony itself. They won't perform a full mass with the eucharist since that would be seen as divisive at a time of unity.

Thanks for all of your advice and blessings. I have since left my pagan g/f. It was an important lesson to me to be with her, as I was able to understand her religon, yet it made my faith stronger. Ultimately, I think that all good people believe in our God, yet some, like my former love, do not have common agreements in Jesus. While I hope to be with other Catholics who may understand my devotion, I will not exclude those who have a common God. It's amazing how different religions actually have the same values and beliefs. I have always loved my fellow man, and being with a non-Christian only affirmed that position. God Bless.

 

[tomis]

Interesting post - no comment. Just go with your gutt.

 

[AutumnDreamer]

I'm falling in love with a Wiccan. I am a practicing Catholic with a mother who wouldn't accept anything less than a Christian girl. We are perfect soulmates except for our religious differences. She said she would be fine with our kids being raised Catholic as long as I accept and respect her religious views (that would've been the deal breaker). Can such a relationship be feasible? How can I reconcile the polar disagreements of our faith? Is it possible to just ignore our religious differences and focus on the other reasons we love each other? When the time comes, how would I deal with my mothers objections? Does the Catholic church accept such a bond? Does anyone know of similar relationships where it has worked out? I appreciate the time and advice, faith and love are two heavyweights and I am very confused.

Dan

What fellowship hath light with darkness?

 

[RomanPrincess]

I believe this is a bad idea and if you choose to disobey what Jesus says about the people of light mixing with the people of dark then there will be many consequences and his bad ways will influence you.Why even get involved in someone who doesn't belong to God in the first place?To me i think this should be one of the first questions asked when seeking a mate....if he is a christian or not ,and only date a christian.It is very important and yet some people choose to ignore to do this and go against what Jesus says about this.Don't be lead by your feelings to make a choice.Go by what the bible says to do about this.You just can't go by what you feel,your feelings when making that choice.I believe deep down in your heart you know you should not be with this person because it is against what the bible teaches.Choose to do right choose the right path and you will be blessed.......choose the wrong path,the wrong descion and you will be cursed.
Honestly ...if i were you i would break this relationship off,PRONTO!.....God has someone much better in mind for you and this person who is not a child of God is not the one God wants you to be with.I hope you really open your eyes to this and choose the right path.

 

[Pasat_14]

Honestly, i agree with what other people have said. But it can do good. I used to be into all that stuff, then I went out with a Christian, and thanks to that relationship I am now Christian.
So just a message to what everyone says about it being bad, remember, God is good and will use any situation FOR good!
But apart from that, just pray about it, because that's the most powerful thing you can do!