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Being kicked out of small groups?

rosebk

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Just curious on some thoughts my husband was kicked out of his men's group. He consistently went and would even fill in for the pastor from time to time. But my husband also coaches softball. In the spring and summer, so he would not usually be part of that group during them two seasons. The pastor who was also one of his best friends, pulled him aside. And said that he would be making an example out of him For the young men who were there. He wanted the young man to be disciplined in coming every week. And since my husband could not come due to coaching,( Which he has been doing for fourteen years) he was not allowed to come back to the group anymore. What are your thoughts biblically on this?
More recently, a false accusation was said about my daughter and the same. Pastor told her she could not come to youth group Until there was a meeting. My daughter is a good girl, does not get into any trouble and loves the lord. As does my husband. Biblical thoughts on kicking people out of small groups?
 
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Not sure what the solution is. But I can say from my own experience, and that of others, that this isnt unique.

For example, Ben Carson wrote that his mom's testimony was attacked by her ex (a pastor). Every time she would attend a new church, he would label her as a "troublemaker", etc.

My own experience was even worse. Sometimes a Christian's worst enemy isnt the ungodly, but rather fellow believers who get some thrill out of knocking others down.

Looking fwd to other people's insight.
 
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Michie

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Just curious on some thoughts my husband was kicked out of his men's group. He consistently went and would even fill in for the pastor from time to time. But my husband also coaches softball. In the spring and summer, so he would not usually be part of that group during them two seasons. The pastor who was also one of his best friends, pulled him aside. And said that he would be making an example out of him For the young men who were there. He wanted the young man to be disciplined in coming every week. And since my husband could not come due to coaching,( Which he has been doing for fourteen years) he was not allowed to come back to the group anymore. What are your thoughts biblically on this?
More recently, a false accusation was said about my daughter and the same. Pastor told her she could not come to youth group Until there was a meeting. My daughter is a good girl, does not get into any trouble and loves the lord. As does my husband. Biblical thoughts on kicking people out of small groups?
I think the pastor is totally in the wrong here. I’d be telling him so as well.
 
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com7fy8

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"nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock " (1 Peter 5:3)

So, yes the pastor himself must be a good example. And I would say they need to test if what he has done is controlling and lording over.

You can have a discussion about what is an excuse and what isn't, so the young men can think and pray about what they do; and do not do things in ways to control what they think.
In case the coach is ministerial enough to stand in for the leader, he should be managed as a resource who can come to the group, at times, like how preachers can visit a church to preach.
 
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Ace777

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Just curious on some thoughts my husband was kicked out of his men's group.
Maybe it is time to find a new church. There are some amazing churches and amazing pastors out there. Some of these churches have to bring in new members because they chase off the old ones.
 
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JustaPewFiller

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Maybe it is time to find a new church. There are some amazing churches and amazing pastors out there. Some of these churches have to bring in new members because they chase off the old ones.

Agreed.

It sounds like the issue may be with the Pastor here.

As Christians, we never want this to be the case. But, sometimes it is. Pastor's are people too and sometimes they are susceptible to the same foibles as the rest of us.

I would say go to him as per Matthew 18:15- but if that does not work it may be time find another church. This suddenly "making an example out of" just raises red flags.

For what it is worth, our own church struggles with Men's group attendance. I do not know if this is how it is at your church. But, I will share just in case.

Our church is small to start with, so the pool of men is small. If a few miss men's group it easy to notice. But, having only a few men, most of them with jobs, families, kids, etc means that everyone's attendance is spotty at best for weekly 5pm men's group that happens on a weeknight.

Admittedly, first our Pastor encouraged attendance, then cajoled, then finally started berating the men.

Know what happened? Except for two retired men everyone else stopped attending, and even those two retired men were still "spotty". A few of the men that were attending got tired of the behavior and found other churches. The Pastor was far less than happy and men's group was cancelled for a bit.

After a break of a few months our church is trying men's group again at a day and time that fits better into people's schedules and only twice a month. So far it is working.
 
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Ace777

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Pastor's are people too
Pastors have a high degree of burnout. People take all of their problems to them. They need to spend a LOT of time with God to recharge their batteries and to get something from God to give to people. We re just a vessel for God to use and so we need to be Holy Sanctified and set apart for His good service. I remember once I wanted to have a brief conversation with a Bishop but he was to tired and burned out to talk to me.
 
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Godcrazy

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Pastors have a high degree of burnout. People take all of their problems to them. They need to spend a LOT of time with God to recharge their batteries and to get something from God to give to people. We re just a vessel for God to use and so we need to be Holy Sanctified and set apart for His good service. I remember once I wanted to have a brief conversation with a Bishop but he was to tired and burned out to talk to me.
I'm so sorry sister. Hugs this should never happen
Unfortunately it ecco my own experiences
I went to a new church
A home church except for gathering at times with others
I wasn't even invited to the walk picnic and out for dinner with them after the meeting
They all knew, and we're talking about it
Noone wanted to tell me where or how
When I mentioned it I got eh.. Uh..
Even from the leader
But telling me I'm welcome when it was over
Everyone going
Same hypocrisy when I once shared a ride
I was told they couldn't do it every time because it wasn't supposed to be like that
But other people.. Were picked up.. Regularly.. I saw them..

Where is the love

Other churches..
Ignore you
Don't want to talk to you
Even if you try
You are frozen out
You can feel you're not accepted
It's in the air even
You're left to your own
Through years
Only few ever speaking to you

And then they wonder why people are leaving the church

Or that oh so uber Christian lady at one job
Bullied me apart, and tried to set me up for failure
To drive me out
And black list me in a register so I can never work
I was warned by someone that had witnessed stuff
They've done it to many
Some went to court
In my case they tried to hide medicine
So I couldn't find it when needed
Or be able to put it away
Or hide papers
One time that woman went up to my face
I have never felt such a chillyness
I got out before the damage

Where is love
 
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Ace777

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Where is love
If people want to go to Heaven they are going to have to get along with everyone there because everyone in Heaven loves everyone in Heaven. Jesus tells us: "Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven". So we are to live our life here now as we will there and then, Even forgiveness is a big part of that and whatever people do we need to forgive them.
 
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Bobber

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So is God wanting you to go to a different church because of this? That maybe is the question you should ask and never just decide yourself. The answer to that may be yes or it may be no. I think there's a lot of dynamics of other things that need to be considered. Is this Pastor does he have a good spirit about him meaning is he usually always walking in love and doing proper things or is this a continual pattern that joins with other things similar that he does. There's just so many things to get a feel about.
 
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frienden thalord

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Just curious on some thoughts my husband was kicked out of his men's group. He consistently went and would even fill in for the pastor from time to time. But my husband also coaches softball. In the spring and summer, so he would not usually be part of that group during them two seasons. The pastor who was also one of his best friends, pulled him aside. And said that he would be making an example out of him For the young men who were there. He wanted the young man to be disciplined in coming every week. And since my husband could not come due to coaching,( Which he has been doing for fourteen years) he was not allowed to come back to the group anymore. What are your thoughts biblically on this?
More recently, a false accusation was said about my daughter and the same. Pastor told her she could not come to youth group Until there was a meeting. My daughter is a good girl, does not get into any trouble and loves the lord. As does my husband. Biblical thoughts on kicking people out of small groups?
It would have to depend on the reason , if said reason were a sin or a justification of sins .
And if it were a sin did they try and correct him first .
Pull up a chair , for what i type next has been occuring within churches more and more and specially as of late .
They are making a stand now , but its the wrong kind of stand . Its not against sins and errors
it against those who would warn out against sins and errors within said churches .
It seems so many were so fast to be so loving and tolerant they left off correcting sins and errors within the church
and as time has went on the leaven has risen .
Now we are witnessing the acceptance of sins and errors and we are seeing
the removal from churches of those who do try and bring in biblical correction .
It will get worse too . In society the voices of those who warn and remind will be silenced
and even more so removed and made an example of for daring to oppose such unlawful wicked things .
But it will get even worse
till the time comes we see a unfied love religoin that has merged the peoples and religoins to be as one
under what they all beleive is love and is of God . only it aint love and it aint coming from GOD either .
The laws will continue to change in support of more evil
and in support of the silencing and removal of all who dare to even make mention of said evil as being sin .
Worse it will get too . Till the time come
that all who were not loyal to this love god and its inclusive message
will even be unable to function , buy or sell in said socities of this world .
Just a friendly reminder as to WHY the churches should have followed and remained in the biblical pattern .
Cause when cast aside the severity of GOD , you preach more and more a false goodness of HIM as well .
And in time leaven just floods up and fills it up to the full . TILL they believe they serve the one true GOD
and do his love and that anyone who dares to use biblical reminders of truth are seen as haters of humanity .
THE GOD and the CHRIST of the bible are now being viewed by more and more as satan
and the satan made mention of in the bible , that guy is now been seen as the love god , as GOD himself
And that i say about even most churches . its getting real bad my dear friend . i mean very delusional indeed .
 
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frienden thalord

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Jesus said as well, sin no more, repent. As well as in NT they were advised not even speaking to someone who didn't repent
He did and they were .
SO allow me some words dear sister .
Todays version of said JESUS sure seems to be accepting of sins
and rather goes after those who try and correct such sinful and unlawful behavoir within the churches .
I dont think folks realize something .
Satan is a master of deception . He and his ministirs
can holler out things like GOD is love and etc , yet all the while being using a love that IS OF THE WORLD to decieve people .
 
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frienden thalord

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Jesus said as well, sin no more, repent. As well as in NT they were advised not even speaking to someone who didn't repent
The problem with more and more today is
they have sat under men who have reconstructed another image of GOD and of HIS CHRIST
into one that serves , honors and accepts certain sins .
An image of GOD that serves THE FLESHLY desires of the hearts of men .
And SISTER , i know of only one who do that . Hims was even at the tree and seduced eve .
People act like satan cannot say GOD is love . OH but HE can , he can quoate any scrip
but believe you me he is gonna try and twist it to get one to DISHONOR , TO disobey the one TRUE GOD and HIS CHRIST .
Things really are not looking good at all right now . I suggest we all stay firmly planted in the scriptures and be in prayer
cause i aint never seen a deceptoin like the one i am seeing that is taking so many captive to a
love that rejoices in a lie , NOT IN THE TRUTH . and charity rejoices IN TRUTH , NOT INQUITY .
but this love they preach sure seems to rejoice a a huge lie that says oh there is no real need
to repent and beleive on JESUS as it claims other religoins serve the same GOD we do .
and boy it sure do seem to hold up the wrong version of the rainbow too . Something WENT WRONG sister .
 
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frienden thalord

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If people want to go to Heaven they are going to have to get along with everyone there because everyone in Heaven loves everyone in Heaven. Jesus tells us: "Thy Kingdom come Thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven". So we are to live our life here now as we will there and then, Even forgiveness is a big part of that and whatever people do we need to forgive them.
and aint no one in heaven gonna be honoring sins either .
So long as we live in this world we better heed GOD and later paul who quoated HIM
and said BE NOT UNEQUALLY YOKED TOGETHER .
seems to me many are following another version of love
one that has come of men and of the world and NOT of GOD my friend .
YOU SEE the love , the charity , that cometh of GOD
it dont TWIST and omit the truth , IT REJOICES IN THE TRUTH and NOT in inquity .
Every word of GOD is truth and the sooner we realize that the far better off one would be and have been .
 
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frienden thalord

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Massive danger and deceptions are upon this land and this world and has well entered into even the christen realm .
We really need to stay well planted in the BIBLE and make sure to be testing all men , all spirits
cause MANY have entered in amongst even the very realm of Christendom in order to seduce and to teach a lie .
and they usher it in through a love that has come of the world and not OF GOD .
 
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