There is hostility I'm stuck in the middle of between my parents and my wife. My wife is very outspoken, much like my father, and has a few issues lingering with my parents. The same goes for my mom and dad. My dad is just the one who verbalizes it more. It feels like tensions have been building for years and have finally come out in the open.
Discussions I've had alone with my parents have gone nowhere. They believe I'm just parroting what she tells me to say and they don't need to change. In fact, my dad thinks my wife is demanding unrealistic expectations from them. I often agree with my wife, but I am usually more passive in nature and keep things to myself.
Their relationship with my wife seems very surface-level. My dad holds on to offense for things that have happened with our stepson. (He was a very unruly teenager that tested the boundaries of our patience.) He holds on to offense that she sometimes comes off as abrupt. He holds on to resentment that we are both almost 40 and have yet to conceive a grandchild for them. He acknowledges this is a selfish desire, however.
My wife is bothered by the fact that my parents never have meaningful discussions with her. She is only asked questions about how her job is doing or something like that. They never care to know how my stepson is doing. She thinks they don't like her and believes she has to walk on eggshells around my dad. My dad thinks he has to walk on eggshells around my wife. My parents also have a habit of acting kind of miserable sometimes when around them. To make matters worse, I see my parents almost everyday because I work with them in a family business.
There are many issues between both parties. My dad seems to harbor bad feelings and won't let things go. My wife can't let things continue as they are and has to say something. I know it is likely going to go over badly. I have anxiety about the whole thing, especially with it being this close to Christmas. My dad and mom are not bad people. I know they are not here to defend themselves, and I may have characterized them unfairly.
My wife and I have grown closer than ever after nearly 8 years of marriage. We have had many obstacles to get over that were hard, but we made the best of it. Due to our struggles, I ended up recommitting myself to Christ and my wife got got saved and baptized. There are other things I could add for backstory, but I will leave it out to keep this from dragging on longer.
Has anyone else here had strife within the family like this? Is so, does anyone have any meaningful advice? I want to help be the peacemaker in this situation.
Discussions I've had alone with my parents have gone nowhere. They believe I'm just parroting what she tells me to say and they don't need to change. In fact, my dad thinks my wife is demanding unrealistic expectations from them. I often agree with my wife, but I am usually more passive in nature and keep things to myself.
Their relationship with my wife seems very surface-level. My dad holds on to offense for things that have happened with our stepson. (He was a very unruly teenager that tested the boundaries of our patience.) He holds on to offense that she sometimes comes off as abrupt. He holds on to resentment that we are both almost 40 and have yet to conceive a grandchild for them. He acknowledges this is a selfish desire, however.
My wife is bothered by the fact that my parents never have meaningful discussions with her. She is only asked questions about how her job is doing or something like that. They never care to know how my stepson is doing. She thinks they don't like her and believes she has to walk on eggshells around my dad. My dad thinks he has to walk on eggshells around my wife. My parents also have a habit of acting kind of miserable sometimes when around them. To make matters worse, I see my parents almost everyday because I work with them in a family business.
There are many issues between both parties. My dad seems to harbor bad feelings and won't let things go. My wife can't let things continue as they are and has to say something. I know it is likely going to go over badly. I have anxiety about the whole thing, especially with it being this close to Christmas. My dad and mom are not bad people. I know they are not here to defend themselves, and I may have characterized them unfairly.
My wife and I have grown closer than ever after nearly 8 years of marriage. We have had many obstacles to get over that were hard, but we made the best of it. Due to our struggles, I ended up recommitting myself to Christ and my wife got got saved and baptized. There are other things I could add for backstory, but I will leave it out to keep this from dragging on longer.
Has anyone else here had strife within the family like this? Is so, does anyone have any meaningful advice? I want to help be the peacemaker in this situation.
