A husband that is a habitual liar

[Mary player]

Hello my new friends,
I am a newly married woman....3 years. After 30 years of being single with one child. I am almost 70 years old. I married , what I thought was a Christian man. At first he was the kindest and sweetest Christian man I had ever met. THEN, the closer I got to GOD, the more I realized he did not know GOD. Memorized verses and went to church.
Later in our relationship, after marrying, I realized he was a habitual liar. About EVERYTHING.....things that did not even matter. When confronted, he adamantly denies that he tells untruths. I did not realize that he craved attention from others so much. And that he was unable to admit to any wrong doing.
Instead of him teaching me about GOD, I am teaching him. But, he is not willing to change anything about himself. He refers to himself as A GOOD OLD BOY. And that he is, but he does not have a relationship with GOD. My belief is that when you are born again, you are changed. Correct? That is what happened to me in my new life with GOD. Still learning more and more about GOD, my Father. I cannot stop getting riled up when he lies. And he never apoligizes. I am just so confused. Not sure if I can do this.....it has been 7 years. We are all children of GOD......but are we to live as children?

 

[Mayflower1]

Hello my new friends,
I am a newly married woman....3 years. After 30 years of being single with one child. I am almost 70 years old. I married , what I thought was a Christian man. At first he was the kindest and sweetest Christian man I had ever met. THEN, the closer I got to GOD, the more I realized he did not know GOD. Memorized verses and went to church.
Later in our relationship, after marrying, I realized he was a habitual liar. About EVERYTHING.....things that did not even matter. When confronted, he adamantly denies that he tells untruths. I did not realize that he craved attention from others so much. And that he was unable to admit to any wrong doing.
Instead of him teaching me about GOD, I am teaching him. But, he is not willing to change anything about himself. He refers to himself as A GOOD OLD BOY. And that he is, but he does not have a relationship with GOD. My belief is that when you are born again, you are changed. Correct? That is what happened to me in my new life with GOD. Still learning more and more about GOD, my Father. I cannot stop getting riled up when he lies. And he never apoligizes. I am just so confused. Not sure if I can do this.....it has been 7 years. We are all children of GOD......but are we to live as children?

Welcome to CF, Mary. I'll pray for you and your husband.

 

[Mary player]

Welcome to CF, Mary. I'll pray for you and your husband.

Thank you...leaning heavily on my Father God. Prayers are appreciated.

 

[Anhelyna]

Welcome to CF Mary

I wonder if you would be as well copying this post over to the Christian Advice area Requests for Christian Advice

It strikes me that this area here, being for brief introductions , is not the place where you may get the best feedback and suggestions as to how you could possibly improve things between you and your husband

 

[Hammster]

Hello my new friends,
I am a newly married woman....3 years. After 30 years of being single with one child. I am almost 70 years old. I married , what I thought was a Christian man. At first he was the kindest and sweetest Christian man I had ever met. THEN, the closer I got to GOD, the more I realized he did not know GOD. Memorized verses and went to church.
Later in our relationship, after marrying, I realized he was a habitual liar. About EVERYTHING.....things that did not even matter. When confronted, he adamantly denies that he tells untruths. I did not realize that he craved attention from others so much. And that he was unable to admit to any wrong doing.
Instead of him teaching me about GOD, I am teaching him. But, he is not willing to change anything about himself. He refers to himself as A GOOD OLD BOY. And that he is, but he does not have a relationship with GOD. My belief is that when you are born again, you are changed. Correct? That is what happened to me in my new life with GOD. Still learning more and more about GOD, my Father. I cannot stop getting riled up when he lies. And he never apoligizes. I am just so confused. Not sure if I can do this.....it has been 7 years. We are all children of GOD......but are we to live as children?

This is something to bring to your elders.

 

[Michie]

Welcome!

 

[Michael V. Pardo]

Hello my new friends,
I am a newly married woman....3 years. After 30 years of being single with one child. I am almost 70 years old. I married , what I thought was a Christian man. At first he was the kindest and sweetest Christian man I had ever met. THEN, the closer I got to GOD, the more I realized he did not know GOD. Memorized verses and went to church.
Later in our relationship, after marrying, I realized he was a habitual liar. About EVERYTHING.....things that did not even matter. When confronted, he adamantly denies that he tells untruths. I did not realize that he craved attention from others so much. And that he was unable to admit to any wrong doing.
Instead of him teaching me about GOD, I am teaching him. But, he is not willing to change anything about himself. He refers to himself as A GOOD OLD BOY. And that he is, but he does not have a relationship with GOD. My belief is that when you are born again, you are changed. Correct? That is what happened to me in my new life with GOD. Still learning more and more about GOD, my Father. I cannot stop getting riled up when he lies. And he never apoligizes. I am just so confused. Not sure if I can do this.....it has been 7 years. We are all children of GOD......but are we to live as children?

I was married for 22 years to a woman with similar behavioral issues. We were separated on October 13th, of 2017 and we agreed to a divorce in September of 2019 that she initiated on the basis of irreconcilable differences. At least she could invite a long time male "friend" to move in with her after the divorce to satisfy her own sense of "righteousness."

Our stories are not that uncommon in our time and in the context of the church. I believe that the church at large, and by that I mean the conglomeration of professing Christians in the world, has largely abandoned the idea that submission to one another is submission to God (in the context of pursuing righteousness and "good works."

Our society stresses the concept of equality, not only between sexes, but in beliefs. By your stated age, I know that you "grew up" in the age of aggressive feminism with vocal advocates of female freedom like Bella Abzug and Gloria Steinem preaching the right to control their own bodies and equal considerations in the marketplace and home life.

Though what they said was frequently in direct opposition to the biblical teachings, both men and women alike embraced their doctrine as sexual liberation and the freedom to engage in promiscuity.

Years later we're seeing the "fruit" of such efforts in wide spread sexually transmitted diseases, and divorce rates in the church as great as those outside the church.

In chapter 3 of the book of Genesis we see this curse placed upon "women" which really extends to men in their relationship with women:
16 To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

In its context the word "desire" as opposed to "rule" speaks to control in the relationship. It's not so much a reference to sexual desire, but the desire of women to have their men conform to what they think that their men should be.
It's very common for women to marry men in whom they recognize faults, believing that they can somehow change them.
In your case, you had a false impression of your spouse, but recognized "after the fact" his sinful failings. Even so, your frustration is that he will not conform to your idea of what he should be. I actually felt this way about my wife, but I understood that it wasn't within my power to change her and she became my "cross to bear."

This was never God's intention for marriage, but we frequently enter marriage for the wrong reasons, trusting to romance and emotion, rather than to God and His instructions for long life.

I wish that I could offer you comfort in your distress, but your only biblical option (short of divorce for reasons of sexual immorality) is to submit to your husband's authority with an attitude of respect toward him. This might seem unreasonable in light of his behavior, but as he engages in unrighteous and unrepentant behaviors, scripture exhorts you to treat him lovingly as an unbeliever that in so doing, you might win him over by your righteous behavior.

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 1 Peter 3:1

I believe that this passage is the inspired word of God, and though it may seem unfair, God honors His word and answers prayer according to His will.
I pray that the Lord grants you grace to forgive your husband "seven times seventy" or to the utmost, that you may present yourself before the Lord as a faithful servant, and I ask that the Lord convicts your husband of his sin and guides him into a true knowledge of His salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. Amen.

 

[bèlla]

You’re not responsible for his sin. That’s God’s domain. You’re accountable for your response and heart.

You have to oppose the problem spiritually. When you address it in the flesh the likelihood of error is great. This requires two things for success.

You must cease to operate from a position of offense and judgment. It steeps your mind in the problem and replays it in your head.

You have to cast down those thoughts and counter it with the word. Do the same when he lies. Don’t let on you know. Battle it on your knees through prayer and fasting.

It will be difficult to surmount if you’re both playing into the devil's hands. Someone has to take a stand and say enough. You play offense against yourself and your spouse.

Pray in the qualities he lacks and what you long to have. Line them up with scripture. And do the same for yourself. Pray against the impediments. And don’t let up.

Start and end your day with loving words. Affirm the qualities you’re praying on his behalf verbally. Speak them over him. You’re planting seeds. The Lord will bring the harvest.

Finally, stop talking about it. Keep it between you and God. Give your heart a break. You need to heal. It’s difficult when you’re picking the scab.

And forgive him. Love covers a multitude of sins. Sometimes we’re hesitant. We don’t feel they deserve it. But do it anyway. That’s the key to your healing.

 

[Joined2krist]

Welcome to CF Mary

 

[sunshineforJesus]

Hi and welcome.

 

[GodAndChocolateVanilla]

Welcome to CF!

 

[ChristServant]

Hello my new friends,
I am a newly married woman....3 years. After 30 years of being single with one child. I am almost 70 years old. I married , what I thought was a Christian man. At first he was the kindest and sweetest Christian man I had ever met. THEN, the closer I got to GOD, the more I realized he did not know GOD. Memorized verses and went to church.
Later in our relationship, after marrying, I realized he was a habitual liar. About EVERYTHING.....things that did not even matter. When confronted, he adamantly denies that he tells untruths. I did not realize that he craved attention from others so much. And that he was unable to admit to any wrong doing.
Instead of him teaching me about GOD, I am teaching him. But, he is not willing to change anything about himself. He refers to himself as A GOOD OLD BOY. And that he is, but he does not have a relationship with GOD. My belief is that when you are born again, you are changed. Correct? That is what happened to me in my new life with GOD. Still learning more and more about GOD, my Father. I cannot stop getting riled up when he lies. And he never apoligizes. I am just so confused. Not sure if I can do this.....it has been 7 years. We are all children of GOD......but are we to live as children?

Welcome to the Christian forums.

We are not always changed quickly, some seem to hardly change at all year after year. Some Christians being as babes in Christ and not maturing are only able to receive milk. Some seem to stay in a carnal state and struggle with spiritual food.

Here is a verse that may give you a better understanding below;

1And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ. 2I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able. 3For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

Peace be to all those in the Body of Christ.

 

[ElCamino]

Did you marry a politician?

JK. Welcome to the community!