I Need Some Hope.

ChristianSonic · Mar 25, 2025

I'm absolutely sure that God has a wife in store for me. I know for a certainty that God changed my heart towards marriage; I used to be dead set against it. The problem is that I'm not in a good place in life. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything like that, but I don't have a job, and I can't seem to find one.

I have Asperger's so it's hard for me to trust, and with the way my life looks right now, I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job or a wife. I have contemplated suicide before. I need some help from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I've been so lonely, and I know for certain that I'm burning with passion, and that I can't accept being single. I'm so touch starved and physical intimacy and affection is something I need.

I feel so hopeless and I need help and prayers. Please, tell me there's still hope for me.

timewerx · Mar 25, 2025

There's still hope for you.

Just find it in your heart to trust women. Ofc you still can't trust anyone 100% but 50% is still better than 10% or 0%. Just crank it up to at least 50%

peaceful-forest · Mar 25, 2025

Let me start with the job issue - tell me how you've looked for a job. In person? Job boards like Indeed?

I understand the job market is bad right now.

Have you prayed to God to help you find a job?

I understand desiring and starving for physical intimacy and affection.

Let's talk about the trust issue. What is it you're afraid of concerning women?

ChristianSonic · Mar 25, 2025

timewerx said:
There's still hope for you.

Just find it in your heart to trust women. Ofc you still can't trust anyone 100% but 50% is still better than 10% or 0%. Just crank it up to at least 50%

I should clarify. My problem is that I have a hard time trusting God.

ChristianSonic · Mar 25, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
Let me start with the job issue - tell me how you've looked for a job. In person? Job boards like Indeed?

I understand the job market is bad right now.

Have you prayed to God to help you find a job?

I understand desiring and starving for physical intimacy and affection.

Let's talk about the trust issue. What is it you're afraid of concerning women?

It's not about not trusting women. I'm having a hard time trusting God.

ChristianSonic · Mar 25, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
Let me start with the job issue - tell me how you've looked for a job. In person? Job boards like Indeed?

I understand the job market is bad right now.

Have you prayed to God to help you find a job?

I understand desiring and starving for physical intimacy and affection.

Let's talk about the trust issue. What is it you're afraid of concerning women?

I used Indeed, got a lot of scams or ghosting. I've prayed for a job, but God hasn't answered yet.

timewerx · Mar 25, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
I should clarify. My problem is that I have a hard time trusting God.

I sometimes do too. Maybe my distrust is shared between Christians and God. Because Christians live their lives as if there is no God. Many are hypocrites.

And then Christians who are "apparently" blessed tremendously by God, only use their blessings for themselves mostly and they end up being corrupted by the "blessings" and never realizing it. Even the church don't realize it.

Why would God bless someone if it's only going to corrupt them? There's an entity in the Bible who deliberately gives people worldly blessings in order to corrupt them - The Devil.

So who is really blessing these Christians who gets corrupted by the blessings (so many). The Devil?

So who will you really trust? The New Testament don't really make a big fuss about marriage. It's basically just there to manage our "burning passions". I'm sure there's way more to it but it doesn't seem like we can demand God to pull a miracle for us to get married.

Based on my own observation, I find it extremely rare to hear about genuine marriage miracles. I hear lots of marriage testimonies in church claiming their own "miracle" but yet to hear one that is a real genuine miracle on marriage. Many Christians are just vain and conceited and they imagine / make up things that isn't really there, embellishing their marriage stories. Why it's not real? They still end up just like everybody else, just like unbelievers, just like the Godless.

All I can say to you is don't feel bad having very poor success with women. It doesn't really make you any less blessed nor having any less faith than other Christians. If any Christian would ever look down on you or tell you, you could be more, the joke is on them. The fault lies with them, not you. You're doing great, don't think little of yourself. You're already more.

ChristianSonic · Mar 25, 2025

timewerx said:
I sometimes do too. Maybe my distrust is shared between Christians and God. Because Christians live their lives as if there is no God. Many are hypocrites.

And then Christians who are "apparently" blessed tremendously by God, only use their blessings for themselves mostly and they end up being corrupted by the "blessings" and never realizing it. Even the church don't realize it.

Why would God bless someone if it's only going to corrupt them? There's an entity in the Bible who deliberately gives people worldly blessings in order to corrupt them - The Devil.

So who is really blessing these Christians who gets corrupted by the blessings (so many). The Devil?

So who will you really trust? The New Testament don't really make a big fuss about marriage. It's basically just there to manage our "burning passions". I'm sure there's way more to it but it doesn't seem like we can demand God to pull a miracle for us to get married.

Based on my own observation, I find it extremely rare to hear about genuine marriage miracles. I hear lots of marriage testimonies in church claiming their own "miracle" but yet to hear one that is a real genuine miracle on marriage. Many Christians are just vain and conceited and they imagine / make up things that isn't really there, embellishing their marriage stories. Why it's not real? They still end up just like everybody else, just like unbelievers, just like the Godless.

All I can say to you is don't feel bad having very poor success with women. It doesn't really make you any less blessed nor having any less faith than other Christians. If any Christian would ever look down on you or tell you, you could be more, the joke is on them. The fault lies with them, not you. You're doing great, don't think little of yourself. You're already more.

The thing is, I used to be dead set against marriage, but God put in on my heart that I want to get married. It is something I genuinely want for my life because of aforementioned burning passions, but not just that, I want love and companionship that family and friends can't provide.

linux.poet · Mar 26, 2025

I still think that going to a Christian single's group or even a men's bible study regularly would help you. The Asperger's might complicate that, so maybe go for the small service type of singles group rather than the loud party version.

When I first went to a singles group, I was terrified and didn't talk to anyone who didn't approach me, but I still was able to connect with a couple people.

linux.poet · Mar 26, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
I'm having a hard time trusting God.

This strikes me as normal when God is leading you in a direction that you are uncomfortable with. "Am I seeing this correctly?"

Richard T · Mar 26, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
I'm absolutely sure that God has a wife in store for me. I know for a certainty that God changed my heart towards marriage; I used to be dead set against it. The problem is that I'm not in a good place in life. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything like that, but I don't have a job, and I can't seem to find one.

I have Asperger's so it's hard for me to trust, and with the way my life looks right now, I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job or a wife. I have contemplated suicide before. I need some help from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I've been so lonely, and I know for certain that I'm burning with passion, and that I can't accept being single. I'm so touch starved and physical intimacy and affection is something I need.

I feel so hopeless and I need help and prayers. Please, tell me there's still hope for me.

Thanks for your sincere post. Yes, you can have hope. You do not even have to strive that much but instead you can just walk into whatever plan God has for your life. I will say too that you do not have to be perfect. Yes, there is some effort involved, but for the most part, you simply have to turn it over to God such as Phil. 4:6-7 indicates.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Let God's peace reign because your requests are taken seriously by God. It is that peace where you can be confident when you apply for jobs to serve God in whatever He gives you. You might consider widening your search a little bit into duties and places you previously may not have considered. I once asked God for simply a "decent" job. In retrospect he gave me far more than that. May he also bless you in both your search for a wife and a job.

timewerx · Mar 26, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
I want love and companionship that family and friends can't provide.

I believe you should get married.

But keep in mind that nobody is perfect, not even a Godly wife. Even a Godly wife can't be there for you all the time.

If you get married, it would be your duty to love your wife even if they're not always reciprocating your love. You need to be prepared to give unconditional love.

It's no longer the matter of being loved but how much love you can give, to think beyond your own needs.

ChristianSonic · Mar 26, 2025

timewerx said:
I believe you should get married.

But keep in mind that nobody is perfect, not even a Godly wife. Even a Godly wife can't be there for you all the time.

If you get married, it would be your duty to love your wife even if they're not always reciprocating your love. You need to be prepared to give unconditional love.

It's no longer the matter of being loved but how much love you can give, to think beyond your own needs.

I understand that.

peaceful-forest · Mar 28, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
It's not about not trusting women. I'm having a hard time trusting God.

Why is that?

ChristianSonic said:
I used Indeed, got a lot of scams or ghosting. I've prayed for a job, but God hasn't answered yet.

Have you looked at temp agencies in your area?

ChristianSonic · Mar 28, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
Why is that?

Have you looked at temp agencies in your area?

1. I'm just afraid that God would show me how beautiful marriage is only for either me to die alone or for Jesus to come back, giving me all that hope for nothing.

2. I don't think my area has temp agencies.

ChristianSonic · Mar 28, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
I'm absolutely sure that God has a wife in store for me. I know for a certainty that God changed my heart towards marriage; I used to be dead set against it. The problem is that I'm not in a good place in life. I'm not addicted to drugs or alcohol or anything like that, but I don't have a job, and I can't seem to find one.

I have Asperger's so it's hard for me to trust, and with the way my life looks right now, I'm afraid that I won't be able to find a job or a wife. I have contemplated suicide before. I need some help from my brothers and sisters in Christ. I've been so lonely, and I know for certain that I'm burning with passion, and that I can't accept being single. I'm so touch starved and physical intimacy and affection is something I need.

I feel so hopeless and I need help and prayers. Please, tell me there's still hope for me.

I guess I also have a hard time trusting women because I'm afraid that I'll grow close to them as friends, only for them to just friendzone me.

peaceful-forest · Mar 28, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
1. I'm just afraid that God would show me how beautiful marriage is only for either me to die alone or for Jesus to come back, giving me all that hope for nothing.

How did you reach this conclusion?

ChristianSonic · Mar 28, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
How did you reach this conclusion?

Mainly observing how turbulent the world is now, and with how I can't seem to find a way out of my current circumstances. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God showed me how beautiful marriage is and put that desire in my heart, especially because I used to be against it. I still believe the right one is out there; I just get worried when I see how turbulent the world is because it feels like Jesus will come back soon and I still haven't gotten to experience the joy of marriage that God put a desire for in my heart.

peaceful-forest · Mar 28, 2025

ChristianSonic said:
Mainly observing how turbulent the world is now, and with how I can't seem to find a way out of my current circumstances. I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that God showed me how beautiful marriage is and put that desire in my heart, especially because I used to be against it. I still believe the right one is out there; I just get worried when I see how turbulent the world is because it feels like Jesus will come back soon and I still haven't gotten to experience the joy of marriage that God put a desire for in my heart.

Have you expressed these concerns to God?

ChristianSonic · Mar 28, 2025

peaceful-forest said:
Have you expressed these concerns to God?

I've always been hesitant to because I feel like I'm not allowed to complain. How would I even word it?

I Need Some Hope.

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