Pornstar Confessions of Spiritual Brokenness

May God have mercy upon them.

There's a woman who's profile as a Catholic is growing, she's a recent convert this year and a former Only Fans performer. I can't remember if I've mentioned her on here before but her transformation is really compelling. I think she might be discerning religious life, and she's spent quite a bit of time with some sisters in the northeast somewhere.

What's so tragic is that if and when these people convert, it doesn't seem to matter to anyone else. They still get absolutely blasted for their past life and the sinful choices they made. It's as if Catholics forget 2 Corinthians 5:17 in these cases.

This woman is working especially hard on converting woman influencers of all sorts, whether they're "just" Instagram influencers who nonetheless scandalize people for how they present themselves, or if they're pornographic performers like she used to be. She's been documenting some progress she's made with a former Only Fans person like her who has turned to the faith, started going to Mass, and has begun RCIA. So she's having an impact, which is great to see. Hopefully she ends up making a big dent in the industry, but man do we need to pray for folks like her who have converted because they get attacked like nothing I've seen. And the worst part is those attacks are coming from her fellow Catholics and Christians.

For the record, she's safe to follow on Twitter, she doesn't give any hints of who she was formerly on Only Fans so as not to scandalize anybody. If you're interested in her journey, she's on Twitter/X as @BreeSolstad "Miss B Converted".

I've seen stuff like this before. You have these young women who have medical histories five inches thick---bruising, anal tears, vaginal tears, infections, STD's, substance abuse, you name it. And a lot of them, if they don't overdose on drugs or drink themselves to death, end up committing suicide, due to the way they're treated by their "managers", or by the "actors" who knock them around, or simply by the despair of their situations or the realization of what their lives have turned into.

Some of them---a very, very few, find their way out of the "industry" and become believing Christians; or, more likely, they become "self-improvement" types or health-food advocates, or something of that nature, which, I suspect, is probably a subconscious attempt to cleanse their bodies of the filth they have wallowed in for so many years.

It's a horrible situation. Porn is probably one of the most destructive addictions on the planet; just as bad as alcohol or cocaine or heroin, and in some ways, worse than those, because while substance abuse wrecks the body, porn wrecks the spirit, mind, soul, and personality of the people who consume it, as well as the bodies of those who perform in it. Those people do not need condemnation; they need prayer for their conversion and salvation, and a lot of it.

Gnarwhal said:

What's so tragic is that if and when these people convert, it doesn't seem to matter to anyone else. They still get absolutely blasted for their past life and the sinful choices they made. It's as if Catholics forget 2 Corinthians 5:17 in these cases.

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Makes me think of this verse:

“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
~ Jesus ((John 8:7)

It bothers me a great deal, when a person's past sins are still held against them ... by Christians ... after they've sought and received the forgiveness of the Lord.

Wolseley said:

I've seen stuff like this before. You have these young women who have medical histories five inches thick---bruising, anal tears, vaginal tears, infections, STD's, substance abuse, you name it. And a lot of them, if they don't overdose on drugs or drink themselves to death, end up committing suicide, due to the way they're treated by their "managers", or by the "actors" who knock them around, or simply by the despair of their situations or the realization of what their lives have turned into.

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That's the real sad thing, when you see news about someone in that industry having died and you just think "given what they were in the middle of there seems to be so little chance that they were in a state of sanctifying grace at the end..." which is so sad.

I remember years ago news about a male pornstar who died from a supposed snakebite (it was actually alcohol poisoning, though he was also bitten by a rattlesnake), and actually just recently a woman who was a longtime industry stalwart died from a drug overdose in her apartment with her husband...these people were still neck deep in the industry at the time of their deaths so the possibility that they repented, sought the Catholic faith and turned their lives around is so slim. It's there, but slim, and it's just sad to think of the eternity they traded for in exchange for a few years of what they were doing.

Wolseley said:

Some of them---a very, very few, find their way out of the "industry" and become believing Christians; or, more likely, they become "self-improvement" types or health-food advocates, or something of that nature, which, I suspect, is probably a subconscious attempt to cleanse their bodies of the filth they have wallowed in for so many years.

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It's interesting how many of them dive deep into the faith if and when they're liberated from the industry. I mean, maybe there are a lot more who leave the industry and go unnoticed because they don't find faith, but there seems to be a fair amount who do and then they do what they can to fight back and help save others from such a tragic lifestyle.