I became a Christian in the summer of 2022. Prior to that, I had been an atheist for many many years. However, there is one thing I should clear up. Despite being an atheist, I never played around with the demonic, I didn't want to "poke the bear" so to speak. So maybe I was more agnostic? Nevertheless, I was quite frankly, scared of the demonic, and wanted nothing to do with it, even then.
This is important.
Now you see, I grew up with what ive recently learned was OCD. "Walk back there or you will develop cancer" "touch that 5 more times or you will hit your head" yadda yadda yadda.
I used to think this was God, but have been informed that God does not threaten in such ways. With that being said, as OCD does, it figures out exactly what it needs to do, to scare you. See where im going with this? I was scared of the demonic. So naturally, my OCD started to veer into that sort of territory. I started to get thoughts telling me to pray to satan. Naturally, I resisted. Again, I wasnt even Christian yet. I just was scared.
However, one day, I was tired, stressed, whatever, I don't really remember, it was years ago. But I gave in. I got on my knees and I prayed to satan. Now before you all start saying "repent repent" believe me, I have. I only did it that one time years ago, and even still, I have apologized to God several times.
Now what did I pray for you ask? Well, I was a teenage boy. What do teenage boys have on their minds? Girls. There was this one girl I really liked. Lets call her Jane. Jane and I had been friends for a couple months and I had developed quite the crush on her. So I prayed that within five days, Jane would reach out to me and confess her love. I got off my knees and didnt think much of it, I was a little disappointed I had listened to the thoughts in my head, but that was it. I tried to just move on.
Five days later, I get a text from Jane. A big text. A paragraph. Within the paragraph she talks about how she had a crush on me and loved me yadda yadda yadda. Normal gushy teenager stuff. I was stunned. Terrified. Did my prayer actually get answered? And if so, what did I owe? Had I sold my soul?? Had I- Questions were flying through my mind.
I decided to not date Jane, for just under a year. This happened in august, it wasnt until June that she and I finally got together. Needless to say...we are still together, and shes now my fiance. And it has got me thinking, I never did get answers to my questions. Did satan make her love me? I don't understand. I don't even know if satan can do that! But nevertheless, it does worry me. Any help?
This is important.
Now you see, I grew up with what ive recently learned was OCD. "Walk back there or you will develop cancer" "touch that 5 more times or you will hit your head" yadda yadda yadda.
I used to think this was God, but have been informed that God does not threaten in such ways. With that being said, as OCD does, it figures out exactly what it needs to do, to scare you. See where im going with this? I was scared of the demonic. So naturally, my OCD started to veer into that sort of territory. I started to get thoughts telling me to pray to satan. Naturally, I resisted. Again, I wasnt even Christian yet. I just was scared.
However, one day, I was tired, stressed, whatever, I don't really remember, it was years ago. But I gave in. I got on my knees and I prayed to satan. Now before you all start saying "repent repent" believe me, I have. I only did it that one time years ago, and even still, I have apologized to God several times.
Now what did I pray for you ask? Well, I was a teenage boy. What do teenage boys have on their minds? Girls. There was this one girl I really liked. Lets call her Jane. Jane and I had been friends for a couple months and I had developed quite the crush on her. So I prayed that within five days, Jane would reach out to me and confess her love. I got off my knees and didnt think much of it, I was a little disappointed I had listened to the thoughts in my head, but that was it. I tried to just move on.
Five days later, I get a text from Jane. A big text. A paragraph. Within the paragraph she talks about how she had a crush on me and loved me yadda yadda yadda. Normal gushy teenager stuff. I was stunned. Terrified. Did my prayer actually get answered? And if so, what did I owe? Had I sold my soul?? Had I- Questions were flying through my mind.
I decided to not date Jane, for just under a year. This happened in august, it wasnt until June that she and I finally got together. Needless to say...we are still together, and shes now my fiance. And it has got me thinking, I never did get answers to my questions. Did satan make her love me? I don't understand. I don't even know if satan can do that! But nevertheless, it does worry me. Any help?
