I have had OCD my whole life. A large chunk of my ocd in the last few years has been impulsive and intrusive thoughts (two different things) to God asking him to do/give me certain things in exhange for my life.
These have always TERRIFYED me. Especially when said thing actually ends up happening!
But I realised something last night. In the book of Jonah we see Jonah ask God straight up to take his life.
Jonah 4:3 And now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.
God's immediate answer is "uhhhh...no..." and he prombtly explains why its a no.
If God won't give death to a man who LEGITIMATELY wanted it, why then would he give it to me, someone who has asked for it outside of my own control? Either through an intrusive thought (no control) or an impulsive thought where im pushed by my mind to ask for it. AKA being under duress.
I have been so foolish to think of God in this way.
These have always TERRIFYED me. Especially when said thing actually ends up happening!
But I realised something last night. In the book of Jonah we see Jonah ask God straight up to take his life.
Jonah 4:3 And now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.
God's immediate answer is "uhhhh...no..." and he prombtly explains why its a no.
If God won't give death to a man who LEGITIMATELY wanted it, why then would he give it to me, someone who has asked for it outside of my own control? Either through an intrusive thought (no control) or an impulsive thought where im pushed by my mind to ask for it. AKA being under duress.
I have been so foolish to think of God in this way.