Introduction
In 1998, President Bill Clinton claimed he had not lied about having sex with Monica Lewinski because they hadn’t had intercourse. Instead, they had only had oral sex. Perhaps because of this, many people no longer see oral sex as “real” sex. But is it? What does the Bible say about oral sex? Is oral sex a sin always? Is oral sex a sin before marriage? What about after marriage?
What Does the Bible Say about Oral Sex?
The Bible never explicitly mentions oral sex. There are a few verses in the Song of Solomon that may be about oral sex (we will look at those passages later in this article). However, the passages in question are metaphorical poetry, which makes nailing down their meaning with any certainty difficult.
Just because the Bible doesn’t specifically mention oral sex doesn’t mean the Bible has nothing to say about it. The Bible says quite a bit about sex, generally. Those principles are helpful as we attempt to determine what God thinks about oral sex.
What the Bible Says about Sex
First of all, it’s helpful to remember that God created sex. In Genesis 1, God creates humanity as males and females and gives them the command to multiply. For humanity to comply with this command, they have to have sex. God created sex, and like everything else he created, sex is a good thing.
However, just like everything else in creation, sex has been corrupted by sin. This means that sex isn’t always good. People often use sex for bad, broken, selfish, or evil purposes.
Throughout the Bible, God reaffirms the goodness of sex within its original context (a marriage) and the brokenness of sex in any other context (rape, premarital sex, incest, orgies, etc.).
The Old Testament laws include multiple prohibitions about sex (Leviticus 18 is a good example, as is the fifth commandment, against adultery). Many stories in the Old Testament display the terrible consequences of using sex in an ungodly way (Lot’s daughters, the rape of Dinah, and David and Bathsheba are a few examples).
If anything, the New Testament is stricter about sex. Jesus raises the bar set by the fifth commandment and says that anyone who looks at someone lustfully has committed adultery. The apostle Paul writes to the Ephesian church and tells them that there shouldn’t be “even a hint of sexual immorality” among Christians.
The New Testament also raises the bar for the relationship between husband and wife. Ephesians 5 compares the relationship between husband and wife to the relationship between Christ and the church. Husbands are to love their wives, wives to respect their husbands, and both to mutually submit to one another.
Summary
Throughout the Bible, God limits sexual expression to spouses. God designed sex. He knows how it works best, within a marriage.
Again, it’s not because sex is inherently bad. It’s because sex outside of a covenant relationship is bad for us. God designed our brains to bind us to a person we are sexually active with. Marriage makes sure that this bond happens in a safe environment
Is Oral Sex a Sin before Marriage?
In our culture, many people don’t feel like oral sex is a big deal. Those who have had oral sex but not penetration often still view themselves as virgins. Having oral sex or giving blowjobs is not considered “real” sex.
However, oral sex is still a sexual act. Forced oral sex is legally rape because it is sex.
Though you can’t get pregnant through oral sex, you can still get some sexually transmitted diseases. It’s not entirely “safe.” Like sex, it is an intimate act and one that can cause a person to orgasm. The difference between oral sex and “real” sex is just a technicality.
As we’ve seen, the Bible says there should not be even a hint of sexual sin among Christians and sex is something reserved for marriage alone. Because of this, oral sex before marriage is a sin, something contrary to God’s good plan for sex and marriage.
God created sex and he knows how it works best. The prohibitions on sexuality that he gives in Scripture are not because he’s prudish or against our fun. He simply wants us to have the best life and use our sexuality the way he designed it.
Is Oral Sex a Sin in Marriage between Couples?
Again, the Bible doesn’t explicitly mention oral sex. However, the book of Song of Solomon has a few passages that may be describing oral sex. Song of Solomon is a poetic book describing the beauty and pleasure of marital love.
If these passages are in fact about oral sex, that would mean that oral sex between spouses is not only not a sin, it’s something the Bible celebrates.
Even if the passages in Song of Solomon aren’t about oral sex, it’s worth noting that no sexual position or act between married couples is prohibited in the Bible. That means that generally speaking, anything is permissible between a married couple. However, in some cases, oral sex might still be a sin between married people.
When Might Oral Sex Be a Sin for Married People?
Under some circumstances, oral sex is a sin for married people. Married or not, if you force someone to do something sexually, it’s rape and a sin. If you force or manipulate your spouse to perform oral sex, you are not obeying God’s commands to love and respect your spouse and are therefore sinning.
Additionally, if one spouse feels oral sex is sinful (perhaps they had a traumatic experience with it or it’s tied to a sinful past they want to separate themselves from), then it is a sin for them. If someone feels conflicted about oral sex or is not sure if it is a sin for them or not, it would be worth talking to a pastor or Christian counselor to determine what to do based on their particular story. We don’t want to do anything that leads us to sin. However, we also don’t want to carry around false guilt or be enslaved by wrong thinking from our past.
The Bible tells us that everything not prohibited in the Bible is permissible, but not all things are for our best. For married couples, when it comes to oral sex, if it’s helpful in your relationship, do it as often as you like. If it causes one person discomfort or trauma or anything of that nature, you shouldn’t do it.
Bible Verses about Oral Sex
There are two passages in the Bible that seem to be about oral sex. Song of Solomon is where both of these passages are. This book is an erotic love poem celebrating the beauty of marital love. Each of these passages talks about a lover eating their beloved, which would seem to be an obvious illusion to oral sex.
However, it’s worth noting that scholars are divided on the meaning of the book of Song of Solomon itself. Books of poetry are difficult to interpret, and Hebrew poetry often contains double meanings and plays on words that are difficult to translate. Plus, the nature of the book (erotic love poetry) is so different from other books of the Bible that people have debated the meaning of the book for thousands of years.
I don’t know that we will ever be 100% sure of the meaning of any piece of poetry. However, I think it’s fairly likely that these passages are referring to oral sex. Each passage is listed below in full so you can read the text for yourself and make your own decision.
Song of Solomon 2:3
Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
Song of Solomon 4:16
Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.
FAQs
Is it a sin to give oral before marriage?
Yes, any sexual contact outside of marriage is a sin, according to the Bible.
What does God say about oral sex?
In the Bible, God never explicitly says anything about oral sex nor does the Bible specifically mention it. However, some poetic passages seem to be celebrating oral sex between a married couple. The Bible prohibits sexual contact of any kind outside of marriage.
What does the Bible say about oral pleasure?
There is an entire book in the Bible celebrating the beauty and pleasure of sex in the context of marriage, Song of Solomon. God created our bodies so that we could enjoy sexual pleasure, including oral pleasure.
However, God also knows how sex works best because he created it. He knows that the way our bodies, brains, and spirits are created sexual contact of any kind should only happen within a committed, loving, marriage relationship.
Do Christian wives give blow jobs to their husbands?
Yes, many Christian wives give their husbands blow jobs. It’s not sinful for married couples to have oral sex.
However, just because something is allowed doesn’t mean it is right for every couple. If you and your spouse have reasons for not wanting to give or receive oral sex, the two of you should talk about it together and, if necessary, seek the help of a pastor or Christian counselor.
Is oral sex considered premarital sex?
Yes, any sexual contact outside of marriage would be considered premarital sex. Oral sex, anal sex, and mutual masturbation would all be forms of sexual contact that are considered premarital sex.
God’s prohibitions on sex before marriage are not meant to limit our fun or because God is a prude. God wants you to enjoy sex to the fullest, without causing damage to your mind, heart, or body. He designed sex to be enjoyed only within marriage. If you trust his goodness, you should trust that he has your best interests in mind.
Does waiting till marriage include oral?
Yes. Because all sexual contact, according to God’s original plan, should happen within a marriage relationship, if you are waiting until marriage to engage in sex, you should also wait until marriage to engage in oral sex.
Does oral sex count as sex in the bible?
Though this is not explicitly stated in Scripture, the Bible makes it clear sexual contact of all kinds should be taken seriously and should “count” as sex. Jesus tells us that even thinking about someone lustfully counts as a sexual sin, so oral sex would surely count as a sexual sin. Additionally, Paul tells us that there shouldn’t even be a hint of sexual immorality among those who follow God. Our goal should be to honor God in all we do, not get as close to sin as we can without crossing a line.
Conclusion
Oral sex is not an inherently sinful act. Within the context of marriage, oral sex is not only permitted for married couples, but is (potentially) celebrated in the Bible. God created our bodies for sexual pleasure and wants us to enjoy them.
Because God created sex, he also knows the best way to use it. Throughout the Bible, God gives us prohibitions about sex that are meant to help us enjoy our sexuality to the fullest. God has prohibited sexual contact in any context outside of marriage, so oral sex between anyone but a married couple would be a sin in God’s eyes.