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Lying on the forum
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<blockquote data-quote="tdidymas" data-source="post: 77618705" data-attributes="member: 357572"><p>IMO there are acceptable lies and unacceptable ones. If parents lie to their children in order to "save" them from the brutal truth (about someone's death or a scandal or such), that seems to be acceptable to most people, and is a debatable subject. We lie regularly when someone says "how are you" as a greeting, and we don't want to open up a "can of worms" to air out our "dirty laundry" at that time just to answer "truthfully" to a greeting. In fact, the greeting itself might be a lie, because the person really doesn't want the brutal truth, they just want an "I'm fine, thank you" greeting (as opposed to a long narrative). But such are acceptable lies.</p><p></p><p>The lie we tell about who we are in this forum seems to be acceptable. We use a "handle" instead of our real name. Yes, it's a big fat lie. But we do it for a good cause - to hide ourselves from would-be devils who would use our identity against us. It's called a boundary. We set up boundaries, both physical and psychological. If we indiscriminately trust people we don't know, eventually we get burned by the "fire" of someone's evil nature. Sooner or later we run across a bigger liar who may prove themselves to be corrupt even though they claim to be righteous. They're called "hypocrites." So then, boundaries are good things, but if we overdo it, we tend to become hermits.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps this is what those psychologists mean by the practice of lying? If so, then is it possible they are naive and failing to acknowledge the reality that people need mental boundaries? Is it possible that some of them justify unethical lying by claiming that lying is universal? If I don't want to burden someone else with my depressing narrative when all they've done is greet me with a "how are you," is that really lying (saying "I'm ok")? Lies can be ethical or unethical. It's a matter of knowing good from evil. If the lie follows the "golden rule" (to love others as myself), then it's ethical. If it doesn't (swindling or slandering someone), then it's unethical and evil. If I lie to a Nazi soldier by saying "no, I'm not hiding Jews," that would be an ethical lie, because it resists evil.</p><p></p><p>Therefore it depends on the purpose. If someone lies on the forum just to aggravate someone or to stir up a quarrel, then is not that lie unethical and evil? And if a person says what they believe, even if what they believe isn't true, then is that really a lie, because "lie" is defined as intentional? If I persistently tell an untruth because I really believe that untruth is true, it makes me wrong, not a liar. In such case, we have to consider we might be wrong about something, and not be too proud (or afraid) to change our opinion according to facts. Therefore, IMO we should be focusing on facts, because we find truth outside ourselves, not in our feelings.</p><p></p><p>This is why I'm still a Christian, because I rejected the idea that truth is found inside myself (in my own opinion), and gave in to the idea that truth is found in the Bible (because those who wrote it were true prophets). So my belief system has changed accordingly. I discovered that whether I lie or not has more to do with the purpose of it - why I'm doing it. It's the why, IMO, that determines whether or not I please God.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tdidymas, post: 77618705, member: 357572"] IMO there are acceptable lies and unacceptable ones. If parents lie to their children in order to "save" them from the brutal truth (about someone's death or a scandal or such), that seems to be acceptable to most people, and is a debatable subject. We lie regularly when someone says "how are you" as a greeting, and we don't want to open up a "can of worms" to air out our "dirty laundry" at that time just to answer "truthfully" to a greeting. In fact, the greeting itself might be a lie, because the person really doesn't want the brutal truth, they just want an "I'm fine, thank you" greeting (as opposed to a long narrative). But such are acceptable lies. The lie we tell about who we are in this forum seems to be acceptable. We use a "handle" instead of our real name. Yes, it's a big fat lie. But we do it for a good cause - to hide ourselves from would-be devils who would use our identity against us. It's called a boundary. We set up boundaries, both physical and psychological. If we indiscriminately trust people we don't know, eventually we get burned by the "fire" of someone's evil nature. Sooner or later we run across a bigger liar who may prove themselves to be corrupt even though they claim to be righteous. They're called "hypocrites." So then, boundaries are good things, but if we overdo it, we tend to become hermits. Perhaps this is what those psychologists mean by the practice of lying? If so, then is it possible they are naive and failing to acknowledge the reality that people need mental boundaries? Is it possible that some of them justify unethical lying by claiming that lying is universal? If I don't want to burden someone else with my depressing narrative when all they've done is greet me with a "how are you," is that really lying (saying "I'm ok")? Lies can be ethical or unethical. It's a matter of knowing good from evil. If the lie follows the "golden rule" (to love others as myself), then it's ethical. If it doesn't (swindling or slandering someone), then it's unethical and evil. If I lie to a Nazi soldier by saying "no, I'm not hiding Jews," that would be an ethical lie, because it resists evil. Therefore it depends on the purpose. If someone lies on the forum just to aggravate someone or to stir up a quarrel, then is not that lie unethical and evil? And if a person says what they believe, even if what they believe isn't true, then is that really a lie, because "lie" is defined as intentional? If I persistently tell an untruth because I really believe that untruth is true, it makes me wrong, not a liar. In such case, we have to consider we might be wrong about something, and not be too proud (or afraid) to change our opinion according to facts. Therefore, IMO we should be focusing on facts, because we find truth outside ourselves, not in our feelings. This is why I'm still a Christian, because I rejected the idea that truth is found inside myself (in my own opinion), and gave in to the idea that truth is found in the Bible (because those who wrote it were true prophets). So my belief system has changed accordingly. I discovered that whether I lie or not has more to do with the purpose of it - why I'm doing it. It's the why, IMO, that determines whether or not I please God. [/QUOTE]
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