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I'm careful about claiming as to whether or not God speaks to me. The times I say God spoke to me, I prayed for confirmation, and recieved it. The time I said I wasn't entirely sure.. well, I wanted to marry the girl so badly that I ran with what I believed God to have said. But i never got...

That was quite the amazing read. Thank you. Although, I don't see where you're drawing the confusion that I'm grieved and wrestling with my sin. I thought I indicated the opposite, actually. This is a serious problem for me

Actually you're spot on. When I said that I believe that God told me He would allow me to marry her, I also felt that the vision represented the path we were heading down.

I had looking him up on youtube in mind.

Can you please find out the pastor or mans name? That sounds exactly like my story

God Bless you. The Love of God abounds in your heart. It is clearly evident.

Please explain more

There is still the problem when you go to the Greek. Technically, it cannot be accurately translated to English. There will always be translation variations.

The epistles' sole purpose is to expand upon the gospels teachings. Jesus said that nobody can take you from His hand. Yes, if you remain in His hand. Everything Jesus promised was conditional. "Remain in me, and.. Abide in me and.... If my words remain in you...." Enough with the ear tickling...

I hope that i only suffer in this life for what I have done. If i do somehow come out of this, the Lord will use me to set many free from the bondage i'm experiencing.

Then go back man.

I believe an apostate is defined as, those who have once been enlightened, tasted the heavenly gift, become partakers of the Holy Spirit, tasted the good word of God and the miracles of the coming age, and then fall away, or turn from their allegiance. My bible college may have mentioned it, I...

I want to live in sin. But i know the end result. I want to have the desire to live for Jesus.

It's still in the present tense.

True, but what "many people" do does not define my experience, nor the vetting of it's legitimacy through prayer and the light of scritpure that I've put the experience through.

No, I don't think so. Because and the end it says "because they are crucifying to themselves the son of God afresh..." in the present tense. With your interpretation, it would be past tense.

When i told God I was done with Him, I began sinning as much as i possibly could with the specific intention of permanantly silencing His voice.

I don't recall them going much into it. Probably wasn't paying attention. To your last question: i appreciate all of the responses to the people who actually mindfully read the entire post of mine, rather than jump to a conclusion after seeing a few, key trigger words, as a few people here did...

If I have hope, then you have hope.

See and that's why I came up with the second interpretion i wrote of Hebrews 6. It's as if saying, "It is impossible for any man to bring back an apostate, because the apostate is crucifying Jesus afresh as long as he persists." The problem is that in different translations, the present...