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The Writers Guild
Creative Writing
First draft of Unnamed Christian SciFi Novel
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<blockquote data-quote="angelsaroundme" data-source="post: 77568901" data-attributes="member: 426536"><p>You have a talent with prose. This part is a good example, "Even while walking in, it felt like being dragged, as if she carried all the weight of two on her thin shoulders. Shoes came off with a scraping sound that seemed unusually loud, and everything else stayed on. Once the couch was near enough, it felt like all strength just faded. It was a short and soft fall into the old pillows, but it felt like tumbling off a cliff."</p><p></p><p>Maybe it should be "felt like all his strength just faded" but otherwise that is great, very evocative and easy to picture.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="angelsaroundme, post: 77568901, member: 426536"] You have a talent with prose. This part is a good example, "Even while walking in, it felt like being dragged, as if she carried all the weight of two on her thin shoulders. Shoes came off with a scraping sound that seemed unusually loud, and everything else stayed on. Once the couch was near enough, it felt like all strength just faded. It was a short and soft fall into the old pillows, but it felt like tumbling off a cliff." Maybe it should be "felt like all his strength just faded" but otherwise that is great, very evocative and easy to picture. [/QUOTE]
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First draft of Unnamed Christian SciFi Novel
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