Continuing the Sin Theme - Forgiveness

[praying]

How do we ask for forgiveness of sin(s); from those we have sinned against? Asking God for forgiveness in prayer, worship, and/or confession can be easier then asking those we have sinned against (although when we sin first and foremost in my eyes we sin against God) since if we ask in true reverence and acceptance of Him we are assured of his forgiveness.

Asking for and receiving forgiveness from those we have transgressed against, even fellow Christians is often very difficult because as is with so much in the Bible living these words is/can be very difficult.

Matthew 6:14-15

[Maccie]

Its tough! I think the best way is to get that person by themselves, take a deep breath and go for it! Though if they are not likely to meet you again (!) then you could write a letter. In which case, no excuses, no "I know what I did was wrong, but....."

It doesn't matter if they forgive you or not, you have asked their forgiveness and that is what matters. If they refuse to forgive you, that is between them and God.

Maccie

[seebs]

There is, of course, an interesting question here:

Imagine two people, both wronged, neither of whom forgives the one who wronged them. But... One of them was asked for forgiveness, and one wasn't. Which of them is worse off? Are we helping people, or hurting them, when we ask forgiveness of them?

[sakamuyo]

I'm not sure I understand what you're asking, seebs. I can't see how I'm hurting someone by asking forgiveness. The state of his heart is the same either way, isn't it? And is the state of his heart my responsibility or is it my responsibility to confess my sin to my brother and ask forgiveness?

[seebs]

Well, consider. If I ask someone for forgiveness, I am confronting him with the moral choice of whether or not to grant it. If I ask him before he's ready, I may be tempting him to refuse to forgive something that he would have later; in which case, I have probably harmed him!

[sakamuyo]

Nah. The choice is already there, whether you bring it up, or not. We aren't called only to forgive those who ask us to forgive, but to forgive all who harm us. I don't think your asking actually changes anything, other than to maybe bring to light what is already there.

[elanor]

Nah. The choice is already there, whether you bring it up, or not. We aren't called only to forgive those who ask us to forgive, but to forgive all who harm us. I don't think your asking actually changes anything, other than to maybe bring to light what is already there.I agree. True, the other person may not be ready at the time we approach them, but even if not, asking does serve as a reminder that forgiveness and healing are an option. And you can always tell them that they can approach you whenever they are ready to talk. Just leaving that door open for forgiveness can take the pressure off if someone is not ready at that moment.

I remember once being told my a pastor that there is a big difference between saying "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong. Will you forgive me?" Asking for forgiveness is far more humbling than saying you're sorry, and it's harder to do.

[Christi]

Well, consider. If I ask someone for forgiveness, I am confronting him with the moral choice of whether or not to grant it. If I ask him before he's ready, I may be tempting him to refuse to forgive something that he would have later; in which case, I have probably harmed him!
When I read this, I thought about the people in my life who have hurt me the most, and who've been hardest to forgive. Not a single one of them asked for my forgiveness or admitted any wrong at all, although I've forgiven them anyway. I tried to imagine a scenario where being ASKED for forgiveness would harm me. I can't imagine one. If I was unable to forgive someone who asked it, I would have much deeper spiritual problems than I could expect another to be responsible for, or answer for.

[McCravey]

Well, consider. If I ask someone for forgiveness, I am confronting him with the moral choice of whether or not to grant it. If I ask him before he's ready, I may be tempting him to refuse to forgive something that he would have later; in which case, I have probably harmed him!


Timing is critical in this matter.....had to do it more than once myself.

You pray and wait for God to show you the right time....he will.

[praying]

Does saying sorry equate to will you forgive I was wrong. I don't think they are the same.

[nyj]

Well, consider. If I ask someone for forgiveness, I am confronting him with the moral choice of whether or not to grant it. Apologies are graces, given freely without any thought of a return on the part of the giver. If the giver expects something back, the apology no longer is a gift. If we have harmed someone, and we apologize, we have done our part. Whether or not they continue to hold a grudge, is their problem.