Sex before, with or after marriage? [Archive] - Page 4

cat has felt the light!

26th June 2004, 08:18 AM

yeah ok,
so there is also the issue of sexual disease, But I believe that they are Satan's payment for having played right into his hands. After all we all know why it happens but many still continue to act in ways which enforce the spreading of these diseases.
Just my take,
hey maybe someone could start a poll about whether sexual disease is from God or satan, I know some believe that God gave them us as a warning. But I don't believe that our father would willingly see us suffer in such a way.
Just my take once again,
soul ties are about taking some of that persons soul, not their physical parts!
C@xx

MQTA

26th June 2004, 12:34 PM

LIFE is a sexually transmitted disease.

wakeboardwithheart

5th July 2004, 07:19 PM

im not sure..i dont think it is but i could just be bias. all around me, my friends end up raped from pre-marital sex:scratch: . i dont think its right to have sex out of marrage. it should be with the person your gonna spend the rest of your life with...(i sound like a fortune cookie:P )

CZzyzx41

6th July 2004, 07:52 PM

It's a Tougher decision to make when your libido starts kicking in isn't it?

No sex outside of marriage is NOT ok. People have to have a lot more respect for their bodies than that. Men AND women.

sacred_stone

7th July 2004, 02:21 PM

People have to have a lot more respect for their bodies than that. Men AND women.
I have the utmost respect for my body and I engage in pre-marital relations with my live-in boyfriend. It's like a false dichotomy. Conservative Christians claim that either:

A) You have respect for your body and abstain from sex until marriage or...
B) You lack respect for your body if you engage in pre-marital sex.

A) You truly love your partner and abstain from sex until marriage or...
B) You don't truly love your partner if the two of you mutually consent to having sex outside of the confines of a legal marriage.

A) You are pure if you abstain from sex until marriage or...
B) You are impure and nasty if you engage in pre-marital sex.

A) You are the epitome of self-control if you abstain from sex or...
B) You are selfish and lack self-control if you have sex before marriage.

A) You are 100% guaranteed not to contract and STD/STI if you wait until marriage or....
B) You are bound to get AIDS or get pregnant and have an abortion if you have sex before marriage.

It's not quite as all or nothing when it comes to sex. My boyfriend and I live together. We share in the financial obligations. We share in the household chores. We are deeply in love and committed to one another. We didn't decide to have sex for selfish reasons, because we don't respect ourselves and each other, because we lack self-control, or because we don't truly know what love is. We chose to have sex because we knew we loved one another and wanted to deepen our relationship by giving ourselves to one another. It isn't lustful, hardcore, outright "screwing" (pardon me using such a crude term but most Christians claim it's either dirty and raunchy or it's wholesome, there's no in-between). We do make love to one another. Having sex didn't violate our respect or commitment. It deepened it. You don't have to be married to achieve that.

FaithfulServant

7th July 2004, 02:24 PM

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

It's sad that in today's world more and more women are giving men reasons to never have to marry them.

sacred_stone

7th July 2004, 02:34 PM

It's sad that in today's world more and more women are giving men reasons to never have to marry them.
Using your sexuality as a bribe to get a man to marry you is a pretty sad trick. Most couples I know that engage in responsible, loving sex within the boundaries of long-term monogamous relationship ended up getting married once their lives and finances were in a position to where marriage would be more beneficial.

joeman1

7th July 2004, 03:27 PM

To those who want a verse that condems sex before marriage read heb 13 v 4.

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Right there it tells us not to defile ourselves, because even when we do this out of marriage it is defileing the marriage be which God holds sacraed. Also look at it this way Although you may be getting married you are not yet and things could happen to break off the enguagement and you never know that you significat other may just be someone elses one day and in that respect you have commited the act of adultry

alexeeah

7th July 2004, 03:35 PM

It's not quite as all or nothing when it comes to sex. My boyfriend and I live together. We share in the financial obligations. We share in the household chores. We are deeply in love and committed to one another.
so why don't you get married and make it legal in the eyes of God so that you don't land yourself inHell ??

alexeeah

7th July 2004, 03:39 PM

My thoughts:

IMHO.....I believe that people who saythat sex before or outside the boudries of marriage is okay are justpeople who don't want to commit fully to God. They are afraid that they wont' "Get any" so they chose to believe what they want instead of what God said. Or maybe they dont' really fear God and believe that he will send them to hell.

sacred_stone

7th July 2004, 04:02 PM

so why don't you get married and make it legal in the eyes of God so that you don't land yourself inHell ??
Okay, let me try and reason with your highly insulting and unrealistic opinion here.

Why don't we get married? Because we don't want to. How's that for an answer? We don't see the need to have a mere piece of paper make it magically permissible to have sex. We're two adults. We don't need permission from you, our parents, or your god to have sex.

I don't believe in your god, so it wouldn't be as if we would be marrying in the eyes of your god anyway. I am Wiccan and me and my boyfriend would have a Wiccan Handfasting ceremony and commit ourselves to one another in the eyes of the Gods and Goddesses.

Lastly, I don't believe in hell. That is a Christian fabricated concept to scare people into joining their little group. And as a side note, Alexeeah, it gets quite tiring seeing your posts turn into nothing but an extension for your own self-loathing and self-righteous attitude. You curse people to hell in every single one of your posts. You're not god so please stop placing yourself on such a high pedestal and even pretend to know whose going to hell or not.

joeman1

7th July 2004, 04:29 PM

Okay, let me try and reason with your highly insulting and unrealistic opinion here.

Why don't we get married? Because we don't want to. How's that for an answer? We don't see the need to have a mere piece of paper make it magically permissible to have sex. We're two adults. We don't need permission from you, our parents, or your god to have sex.

I don't believe in your god, so it wouldn't be as if we would be marrying in the eyes of your god anyway. I am Wiccan and me and my boyfriend would have a Wiccan Handfasting ceremony and commit ourselves to one another in the eyes of the Gods and Goddesses.

Lastly, I don't believe in hell. That is a Christian fabricated concept to scare people into joining their little group. And as a side note, Alexeeah, it gets quite tiring seeing your posts turn into nothing but an extension for your own self-loathing and self-righteous attitude. You curse people to hell in every single one of your posts. You're not god so please stop placing yourself on such a high pedestal and even pretend to know whose going to hell or not.
I didn't see alexeeah put herself up on a pedistal. All she is doing is stateing the truth of the matter. she is not determining who does and does not go to hell we each decide that individually. we decide that when we either decide to live our lives for Christ or decide to reject him as the Lord of our life. All she is doing is exposing the lies that has been let loose on our society and we all need to get a little more backbone and be like that.

Sheena_Va

7th July 2004, 07:13 PM

Okay, let me try and reason with your highly insulting and unrealistic opinion here.

Why don't we get married? Because we don't want to. How's that for an answer? We don't see the need to have a mere piece of paper make it magically permissible to have sex. We're two adults. We don't need permission from you, our parents, or your god to have sex.

I don't believe in your god, so it wouldn't be as if we would be marrying in the eyes of your god anyway. I am Wiccan and me and my boyfriend would have a Wiccan Handfasting ceremony and commit ourselves to one another in the eyes of the Gods and Goddesses.

Lastly, I don't believe in hell. That is a Christian fabricated concept to scare people into joining their little group. And as a side note, Alexeeah, it gets quite tiring seeing your posts turn into nothing but an extension for your own self-loathing and self-righteous attitude. You curse people to hell in every single one of your posts. You're not god so please stop placing yourself on such a high pedestal and even pretend to know whose going to hell or not.
I understand that you are Wiccan, and will pray for your soul, but you have a right to voice your opinion here. Alexeeah, and all other Christians, not only have the right, but it is demanded of us, by God, to spread the Word. None of us are saying we are perfect or pure. We are however speaking out against pre-marital sex in hopes of getting the message out to other Christians, and none believers. It is a sin to have sexual relations outside of marriage. Will we go to hell for it? I don't believe we will if we are saved and repent. BUT it will hurt our Lord and as Christians we strive to please him and gain His grace, even though we know we are saved.

On the subject of any Christian cursing you to hell for sinning..... You won't go to hell for sinning. You go to hell for not believing in the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior, and asking him to free you of the punishment for those sins.

I am washed in the Blood, are you?

alexeeah

7th July 2004, 11:21 PM

THanks for backing me up guys and you're right we don't go to hell for sinning we do go for not believeing. Even if that means that we don't believe that He will send us there if we go against Him.

Telrunya

8th July 2004, 05:48 PM

Sex is the ultimate gift you can give to your spouse. It is the ultimate earthly connection. It is only for marriage.

CoCoChiCa33

8th July 2004, 07:26 PM

Just say no! ;)

Lady_zee

8th July 2004, 07:56 PM

no! i don't care what ppl do because my daddy Jesus said i shouldn't do it so i'm gonna keep maself pure!
*1 Corinthians 6:13 ... Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.*

Heavy_Metal_Jesus

8th July 2004, 11:05 PM

Hey guys, if anyone cant answer this...
My good friend who thinks he's a massively faithful christian told me had was 13 and had sex with another 13 year old chick(cant even remember her name) and plans to have sex with alot more chicks(no plan of marrige).
That was last year though. What do yous think, IS HE GOING TO HELL OR WHAT?

alexeeah

8th July 2004, 11:21 PM

well i believe that according to what the bible says in it's original greek and hebrew versions translated to english that the youngman you just spoke of will go to hell adn that he is not a real christian ifyou are a christian you follow what Jesus said to do not what you want to do and then go to church on sunday and say your're going to heaven

Heavy_Metal_Jesus

8th July 2004, 11:53 PM

I goto church, but he doesnt. He still says he's a definite christian. Anyone else got an answer?

signwonder

9th July 2004, 12:14 AM

I would not go get a car and start paying for it without a contract. We do not build houses, buy cars or even purchase a pair of jean on credit without a contract and yet many people believe that they can enter into one of the most binding of situations without any mutual agreement in place first. Sex can produce a child which can make a few minutes of bliss turn into a lifetime where someone you end up really not wanting to be around is always a part of your life (i.e-like the other parent).

Sex unites two people into one by a type of linking of souls. To link souls with several partners is just asking for problems and later on can make a bedroom become quite full even when there are just two people actually there.

Sex exchanges blood from the male to the female through sperm and between one another through any skin rash, opening or tear. We don't drink each other's blood but many people must think it is okay to spread their blood between each other during sex if they are having multiple partners. Blood carries all the diseases, viruses and germs of the person you are having sex with as well as all of thier previous partners too. Now, do you really want all the blood of multiple people inside you without having it screened first? Yuck!

The reason that God wanted us to have sex with only one partner is because He knew all these things about sex because He invented it. We on the other hand are just now finding out why He put limits on it and that those limits are for our own good emotionaly, spiritually and physically.

You can find more information about sex and any other topic in your owners manual--the Bible. Yes, you did come with an owners manual--read it!

Raithlin

9th July 2004, 03:33 AM

Tell a true Christian by his fruits. If he doesn't have the fruits of the Spirit (Peace, patience, etc.) then it doesn't matter what he says...

No, sex should never be outside of marriage (defined as God intended it).

sacred_stone

9th July 2004, 10:42 AM

cat has felt the light!

9th July 2004, 03:51 PM

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

It's sad that in today's world more and more women are giving men reasons to never have to marry them.

I'm not all that sure about this one, men shouldn't have to marry us anyway thats like saying that the only reason they would marry us anyway is because they want to have sex with us, it also sounds like this is a new problem well unfortunatley it aint. This isn't an attack I hope it isn't offensive it isn't meant to be honestly, take care,
C@ xx

cat has felt the light!

9th July 2004, 03:54 PM

I goto church, but he doesnt. He still says he's a definite christian. Anyone else got an answer?

erm if he isn't a christian AND he sins,with knowledge that it is a sin and IF he doesn't then convert into a christian stop the sinful act and pray for forgiveness, then yes he's going to hell, sorry hun :sorry: :hug:.
C@ xx

cat has felt the light!

9th July 2004, 03:58 PM

so why don't you get married and make it legal in the eyes of God so that you don't land yourself inHell ??

Alexeeah, she is a pagan and unless she decides to accept Jesus she'll go to Hell anyway!
C@ xx

*nicholas*

11th July 2004, 10:14 AM

Sex should only be within marriage with your spouse of the opposite sex.

LiberatedChick

13th July 2004, 07:32 PM

I think it depends on the circumstances. If you're sleeping around then no it's not ok. If you're in a commited relationship and fully intend to stay commited then it's not so bad.

DanielJamesSimon

14th July 2004, 09:10 AM

Sex outside of marriage is never okay in any circumstances.

Sex is only okay when it is between a man and a woman who are married to each other.

I think it depends on the circumstances. If you're sleeping around then no it's not ok. If you're in a commited relationship and fully intend to stay commited then it's not so bad.

I believe that this committed relationship is called "marriage".:)

LiberatedChick

14th July 2004, 10:12 AM

I believe that this committed relationship is called "marriage".:)
I disagree. My husband and I were committed to one another before we were married.

DanielJamesSimon

14th July 2004, 10:42 AM

I disagree. My husband and I were committed to one another before we were married.

Okay, and that's good. My girlfriend and I are committed to each other as well But, until we get married, we are abstaining from sex. I'm still only 18 and not at university yet, so much could happen between now and when we get married. Marriage is the point of no return; once married, committed for life. Before there is a defined point of no return, a couple can still go their seperate ways, which is why I believe it is important that sex is kept until marriage.

Also, I believe it is God's way.

Surfungus

14th July 2004, 11:01 AM

I think it's better to wait for marriage. I think sex is a great thing, but should be between a man and wife. I was in a relationship I thought would end in marriage, so we figured it wouldn't matter if we "jumped the gun" so to speak. Now I'm quite hurt and am very sad that my future wife will have to deal with my decision.

Godsgirl481

14th July 2004, 11:23 AM

Obvously it is wrong...goes completly against the bible...but I still do....I'm bad :sigh:

Big Mouth Nana

14th July 2004, 11:16 PM

I believe that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. When you have sex out side of marriage, I look at it as no different then a person prostituting themselves.

bethlehemONE

15th July 2004, 07:34 PM

Its constantly reinforced by the media that you have to sleep around with and lots of different people until you find love, happiness and marriage. Its very very sad at present, i know of a girl thats just turned sixteen and she's sleeping with as many lads as she can, getting drunk in clubs, none of her clothes fit properly, listens to 'briney' etc etc - her mothers a decent enough women but she just views all this as obviously youthful yet normal adult behaviour! her older sisters are my age (27) and think that its great shes 'experiencing life' or whatever - that clothes label called **** (it stands for french connection united kingdom but its ment to look like..its obvious.. tight T-shirts with no stomach bit with 'clever' slogans like easy **** and 100% guarenteed ****, its all over the place on posters and in shopping centres, and you get 11 yr old girls wearing them...of course it all looks like normal behaviour.

Andy D

15th July 2004, 07:43 PM

I agree bethlehemOne. It is disgusting the way some girls dress so that the male eye cannot avoid seeing what will sit on our minds and cause us to desire to lust for more. I dont want to be tempted. I was at the station yesterday waiting for a train and this VERY attractive girl showing tooo much around her waist line is sitting there and I have to avoid the temptation to look. Funny how I dont find it as big a temptation when girl dress modestly.

I would never let my 11 yr old girls (when I have children) wear something that would label them as of this world. I would want them to appear different to the world. Sex before marriage is something I see as of this world, whereas abstaining until marriage is ordained by God.

bethlehemONE

15th July 2004, 07:59 PM

thats it mate you've got it in one, but people of our generation don't like the basic honest truth they prefer their illusions, they think that your soft or somethings wrong with you if you won't play the game, you would think that just the amount of new and nastier STD virals kicking about today that it should convince even firm non-christians that somethings wrong with the way its kicking off!!!! early sex education and pre-emtive solutions to stop little girls getting sent home early from the classroom so that their teacher can book them in to an abortion clinic just is'nt working; Fact! We're making the right choice here soldier, their tough orders so we have to keep fit and focused but their orders that have come straight from the top - with the strength and love of Jesus Christ, death before dishonour!

whitepigeon_dove

15th July 2004, 09:29 PM

so why don't you get married and make it legal in the eyes of God so that you don't land yourself inHell ??
ALEXEEAH, LOVE COVERS A MULTITUDE OF SIN. GIVE OUT YOUR GOOD FRUIT, NOT THE OVER RIPE FRUIT OR YOUR WORMY FRUIT! THE LATER DOES NOT GIVE MUCH OF AN INVITATION FOR SEEKERS TO PERSUE THE ALMIGHTY GARDENER!

Breetai

18th July 2004, 03:07 AM

Obvously it is wrong...goes completly against the bible...but I still do....I'm bad :sigh:We're all bad. I used to sleep with pretty much whomever I wanted to. Eventually you have to realize that what you're doing is wrong(and you did, that's awesome!). Now that you know that it's wrong, you have to stop doing what you know is wrong. Have you watched the Passion of the Christ? Did you see how bloody Jesus was? How the spiked weapons tore at His flesh? How the soilder pulled on His arm until it dislocated just so that he drive a huge spike though Jesus' wrist? Jesus went though that so that you could be saved for sinning against God. By being "bad", you are making a mockery out of what Jesus went though. Maybe you should try to be "good". I know that you're not going to be able to be good all of the time, I'm certainly not. The point is that you know that you're doing something bad, but you're still doing it anyway. Try to think about what Jesus went though the next time you're being tempted to be bad.

Q-La

18th July 2004, 04:57 AM

We've already got the ticket. But if we enter the banquet with the wrong costume we'd be asked to leave.

tyberium

18th July 2004, 06:27 PM

plain and simple, fornification is a sin

Jennifer615

18th July 2004, 06:45 PM

Well, as far as promescurity and casual sex is concerned, definitely NO!

I also think it is wrong in a "steady" relationship, where there is no commitment to marriage.

However, when there is a wedding date planned and a life-long commitment, I really am not too sure. I don't think in these circumstances it is as big a sin as some christians think.

Of course, this is just my opinion, and I might be wrong.

joeman1

18th July 2004, 06:50 PM

Sin is sin. no matter how we as humans see it God does not differentiate the difference of sin.

waterbear

19th July 2004, 01:39 AM

I still don't understand why people don't abstain simply out of respect for the person whom they will marry....

datan

19th July 2004, 04:07 PM

because it's more than likely that the person whom they will marry didn't abstain ...

rhemarob

19th July 2004, 04:21 PM

According to the Bible it is clearly wrong, I don't see how any Christian that reads it can come up with any other conclusion.

PaladinGirl

22nd July 2004, 08:35 PM

Well, I voted on this poll some time ago but I have since changed my opinion. I voted No before but I now say that I vote Yes. I see nothing wrong with sex outside of marriage as long as you're responsible. It's always a good idea to use some form of birth control.

Mebby01

23rd July 2004, 01:30 AM

In my opinion l think waiting until marriage good thats what God wanted us to do. But l personaly think that everyone does and it shouldn't be a sin. Most people get forced to have sex by there boyfriends l don't think its right to wait that long for sex. I just think that being a hooker and sleeping around should be a sin not if your dating someone it should be fine. l just don't think its right to have sex like one night stands. But a good friend of yours someone you know isn't good or to be a hooker is the worst thing to do. l think it should be a personal choice in a way its not like you killed anyone. l don't think it should be sin

Shyguy

23rd July 2004, 02:03 AM

doesnt really matter to me so I voted yes

Silent_minstrel

23rd July 2004, 03:30 AM

Sex outside of marriage is like wanting the benefits package without the job. Getting all the profits without any comittment. A little childish and shallow, in my opinion. If you consider yourself to be a Christian, then it comes down to what God says on the subject. Personally, I want to leave the altar on my honeymoon and say to my husband "I waited for you"

I simply cannot become a Godly woman if I am 17, unmarried, and moaning between some guy's legs.

Bowling Pin

23rd July 2004, 10:49 AM

I don't think there is anything wrong with true pre-marital sex--sex between a couple already planning to marry. One night stands, sleeping with every boyfriend or girlfriend you have, or other forms of promiscuity is wrong. But if a couple are grown adults who are engaged and committed, I see nothing wrong with them consummating their commitment before the official wedding ceremony. To me the wedding is a public display of your commitment before your family and loved ones, but the couple's commitment is sealed between them and God way before. I feel as thought I'm married to my fiance already, we just haven't had the big party with our family and friends yet.

Ashlynne

23rd July 2004, 02:13 PM

I do not think sex before marraige is ok though it has became the norm in our sasiety. But if you look around you, you will see children who are being raised without a father, young women having abortions, and the family structure being compromised.
Its just sad
Ashlynne

Kathryn13

23rd July 2004, 07:57 PM

Silent_minstrel

23rd July 2004, 08:21 PM

Amen, Kathryn13!

:holy:

joeman1

23rd July 2004, 08:26 PM

Way to go Kathryn13 I agree 100%.

indeep

23rd July 2004, 10:10 PM

I am going to say no, but with the qualification that I had sex before I was married (well, I'm still not married, but you know what I mean) but in retrospect that was a mistake.

I don't think we should judge people based on what they've done, but who they are.

PaladinGirl

23rd July 2004, 10:28 PM

I am saddened by so many "yes" and "not sure" responses. No. Sex outside of marriage is not ok. The fact is that one of the 10 commandments is "Thou shall not commit adultry". What is adultry? Sex with someone other that your husband or wife. If someone isn't married, then the partner is not their husband or wife, therefore it's called adultry! Pretty obvious to me! It is NOT Gods will. It is a sin. Period.
From www.dictionary.com:

Adultery:
Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.

As you can see, adultery is only sex between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse so you'd have to be married in order to commit adultery. Therefore, someone who has sex before marriage is not commiting adultery.

waterbear

24th July 2004, 12:36 AM

From www.dictionary.com: (http://www.dictionary.com:)

Adultery:
Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse.

As you can see, adultery is only sex between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse so you'd have to be married in order to commit adultery. Therefore, someone who has sex before marriage is not commiting adultery.
Adultry is wrong because it shows disrespect for the spouse, ruins maritial intimacy, and induces a strong negative biological response. Now fornication shows disrespect for a future spouse, does equivalent damage to marital intimacy, and can induce a strong negative biological response. Thus one can argue fornication and adultry are the same as in moral equivalents.

Note:
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for the cause of fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultry..."

purple85

24th July 2004, 12:45 PM

sex was made for the boundary of a commitement - marriage. the boundary of love is not good enough. that is what marriage is for!!

MQTA

24th July 2004, 01:47 PM

Now I see why Divorce is so high and people are generally unhappy through out their lives.

Bowling Pin

24th July 2004, 08:54 PM

Wow, I take great offence to your assumption that just because a couple makes love before their wedding day they will be unhappy. If you ask me, that couple is simply happier longer than the couple that waits. I think it is pretty amazing how into people's sex lives the church can be nowadays. People are often committing lots of other clearly labeled "sins" but the main topic of self-righteous judgement is always about premarital sex. So the "good" Christians are busy sitting around gossiping and judging and taking pride in their own "works" of celibacy instead of working toward evangelism or other services for the needy or community.There is no chapter and verse in the bible that says a couple is only "wed" in God's eyes when they are married by law of the land they live in. How about a couple who gets married by a judge instead of a minister? That isn't a church wedding, so should they sleep in separate beds? There are way more important issues in the church and in the Christian community going on today. I am not advocating that people have sex at random whenever the mood strikes them, but I think the private sex lives of adults with intentions to marry are really not of concern to anyone. I've seen posts on other sections of this board where a person says they are sorely tempted to sleep with their fiance or serious relationship partner and i've read the advice given as "hurry up and get married, get married this summer if you can." What? If a couple is engaged and have a plasn in place, they should just drop everything and run to the alter so they can have sex? that is silly. Sex between people God has brought together in love through his guidance is never dirty. I will never believe that sex is dirty one day and holy the next. People set wedding dates because of a lot of other reasons not just sex. Graduations, finding a job, finishing up job training, building ea home, etc. Sex is not the reason people should get married, and if getting hitched so the sex is "not a sin" is the motivation, that will cause a lot more divorce than a little pre-marital lovemaking ever will.

Sheena_Va

24th July 2004, 09:50 PM

I've seen posts on other sections of this board where a person says they are sorely tempted to sleep with their fiance or serious relationship partner and i've read the advice given as "hurry up and get married, get married this summer if you can." What? If a couple is engaged and have a plasn in place, they should just drop everything and run to the alter so they can have sex?
These people, myself included, make their cases from the Bible.
In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 it says (8)"But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I." (9)"But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion."
Of course you shouldnt rush right to the chapel, BUT if you can't practice self control until the wedding day comes, and you are a strong Christian, then you should speed up that day. If its THAT important to have sex, then get married.

prettyrose436

24th July 2004, 10:07 PM

no it's not ok-- I personally will wait!

lnknprk2003

25th July 2004, 06:28 PM

i think it's wrong

lnknprk2003

25th July 2004, 06:29 PM

i think it's wrong

lnknprk2003

25th July 2004, 06:29 PM

i think it's wrong

OhhhChung

26th July 2004, 12:11 AM

Boys have a hormone that makes them have a high urge to have sex so they would want to do it badly but it's a big sin so I'll get married and then have sex which is the proper way.

Nater_Tater

26th July 2004, 12:05 PM

I'm still a virgin, I don't know if I'll wait until I'm married to have sex, but I do know that I will only have sex with a girl that I love.

boilerblues

26th July 2004, 12:12 PM

On a Christian forum I don't see where this is something that would be put up for a vote, the Bible clearly states that sex outside of marriage is sin. You have to ignore the infallibility of Scripture to ignore that.

Bowling Pin

26th July 2004, 12:56 PM

Because the Bible is only interpreted to state that sex outside of marriage is a sin, and it is also up for debate when marriage precisely begins.

Nater_Tater

26th July 2004, 01:33 PM

Because the Bible is only interpreted to state that sex outside of marriage is a sin, and it is also up for debate when marriage precisely begins.

After the wedding of course.....

Hippopotamus

28th July 2004, 07:53 AM

Is Pre-marital sex a sin??? You have "GOT" to be kidding!!! There seems to be alot of nuffies on this forum.

It has been Quoted and quoted again that It is a sin, the same as homosexualty....the same versus over and over again.

Hopefully God can cure them "soon" of their dyslexia....:doh:

Bowling Pin

28th July 2004, 08:10 AM

What is a nuffie?

Krystina661

28th July 2004, 05:39 PM

What is a nuffie?

I'm quite curious about that myself.. ^_^

going_crazy_am_i_me2

29th July 2004, 03:51 PM

i dunno...

but i think pre-marital sex is a very big sin. no "maybes" or "ifs" "ands" or "buts". its a sin.

joe-bob

29th July 2004, 04:00 PM

Is it not 100 percent clear from reading the Bible that sex is to be confined to a man and woman who are married to eachother?

MQTA

29th July 2004, 04:09 PM

Is it not 100 percent clear from reading the Bible that sex is to be confined to a man and woman who are married to eachother?
No it's not. It also wasn't mentioned in the manual received upon birth. The body has no instruction manual, in reality, what you do is what you can sleep with at night. If you sleep peacefully, you've made the right decisions for yourself. The do-er makes the choices, everyone else just has opinions.

sunnie63

29th July 2004, 04:13 PM

Is it not 100 percent clear from reading the Bible that sex is to be confined to a man and woman who are married to eachother?

Very clear! And there are reasons for it too. Sex before marriage takes the "shine" off of the marriage bed, which is sacred.To me it is like going to a hockey game and knowing the score before the game ends. You may stay for the game anyway, but something is gone and it isn't nearly as exciting.

surfinhaloboy

1st August 2004, 10:58 AM

hye guys well i am only 15 and i did fall into temptation and have sex. I believe that it is wrong now. I am tryi to become a better christian and I have asked god for fogiveness. Its not something you wanna do. I mean after you have sex you cant go back and change that. I believe its wrong to do that

rua2j33

1st August 2004, 07:15 PM

Did I? Yes. Should I have? No

MQTA

2nd August 2004, 12:34 AM

Did I? Yes. Should I have? No Bummer. My answers are both yes, I treasure and remember every single of them. They're the foundation of my life and things would have been different had any of them not been in it. Every event prior to meeting the woman I was to marry lead up to meeting her, and it was all the experiences that made it clear she was The One.

Everyone has to make their own choices, and live with them.

Bowling Pin

2nd August 2004, 07:32 AM

Sex before marriage takes the "shine" off of the marriage bed, which is sacred.To me it is like going to a hockey game and knowing the score before the game ends. You may stay for the game anyway, but something is gone and it isn't nearly as exciting. Sex is exciting every time you have it because it is sex. It has biological and hormonoal and chemical physical reactions in your brain and body that are exciting by the very definitition of sex. It is very naive to think that just because a couple getting married has sex on July 31, gets married Aug 1, and has sex on Aug 2, they will have miserable sex on the 2nd because they were big old sinners and didn't wait 48 hours. I have news for you, the no pre-marital sex crowd wants you to think that it ruins sex to have it early, but I'm here to tell you it won't make you get divorced, it won't make you burn in hell, and it won't make you a dirty person. :pink:

Marriage is not about sex, so when you have it won't make or break your marriage. If it does, you got married for the WRONG reason.

Right_Wing

2nd August 2004, 11:37 PM

I dont know if its directly in the Bible but i think that waiting for marriage is something more people should do! I have a girl friend and there is absolutly no pressure on us to get physical!! It saves us from diseases and sin!! i mean with many sexual partners we may fall into sin in many different areas like lust, impurity of mind, etc..

Amy in hyper Land!

3rd August 2004, 03:55 AM

I'm deffinately going to wait until i get married.

StormeTorque

3rd August 2004, 05:06 AM

I believe that if the couple discuss it in a mature manner, and know all about the various risks associated with sex, then sex can be very fulfilling to couples who are married or unmarried.

DevoutHeiress

3rd August 2004, 05:35 PM

True Love Waits. Keep your body holy unto the Lord,until you and your spouse are in an agreement. :)

joyfulgirl

3rd August 2004, 05:43 PM

i know that a lot of people will argue that it's okay in our modern society, but the way that the bible defines it, sex before marriage is NOT the way to go. the bible says that when we leave our parents, THEN we will cleave to the other person. God has ordained a process to protect us, and i believe that it is good. many of our Christian friends chose to have sex before marriage, and it's not like we didn't want to, but we waited, and i believe that God smiles upon that.

Andy D

3rd August 2004, 05:58 PM

Hebrews 13:4 was the verse I read last nite in my devotions

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Obbviously if God ordained an institution such as marriage and the world is trying to destroy it, it is clear to me that not only is marriage the right time to have sexual relations, but there are no exceptions. I know some say 'but what if I am 50 and I cant find someone to marry?'. I would prefer to be single all my life and not have that 'touch' than to walk outside fellowship with Christ in order to have a temporary thing that is NOT necessary to live. Obviously it is not good for us to be alone but if I can find someone to have sexual relations with then I am sure if I am willing to share all of myself..open up completely...all of myself to them..give myself to them in this way, then I can also marry then. No excuses.

I have many Christian brothers and sisters who are currently in sexual relations or have been there recently..and there will be consequences...as I tell them, but I wont judge them..other than to tell them it is wrong BUT there is always forgiveness for it. God understands that we are just human and we make mistakes on all levels. I will always be their brother in Christ, and be there for them, but I cant accept what they do. I also have been there and done that so I KNOW it affects us for life if we go down the wrong path...for those of us who have a conscience.

ONE,WHO,REMAINS

3rd August 2004, 07:42 PM

In the bible it clearley states that a sin is a sin. No one is immune from it. And the gift of purity that God bestowed on us is something that we should hold till the sacred bonds of marriage.

SarahsHope

4th August 2004, 07:38 AM

I belive no, but my own experiances have lead me to a different path. I want to keep my body for one, and one only, if i can.

andreea gascoigne

4th August 2004, 07:43 AM

it is worth to wait!There's no doubt within it!To save the best until the last.
:)

shs53

4th August 2004, 11:24 AM

We all know what the bible says instead of trying to justify ourselves why don't we admit our guilt and see how we can repent.

sjanae76

4th August 2004, 07:37 PM

Have to jump in here. I have experience in this area. Extramarital sex (that outside of legal marriage) is wrong. As much as I've wanted to justify living with my children's father, I realized it was wrong.

About a year ago, we started going to this home church with some neighbors. As I got more involved, one lady told me that I wouldn't grow spiritually if I remained in my sin situation (living with my boyfriend/children's father). I was still pretty stubborn at that point, so I didn't listen to her. I tried to tell myself that "we're married in spirit" or some other **** like that. I really didn't know for sure that I was wrong, so I prayed and asked God for a sign. I said, 'If I'm really supposed to wait until we're married (even though we already have kids) give me a sign tomorrow. Let me see something wedding related.

First thing the next morning, I turn on the TV to watch the news, and hmmmm what are they talking about? Weddings!

So, anyway, it's been very difficult, but we're getting married August 16! Yay!

My advice, from my own experience would be to wait until you're with someone who loves you, cares about you and above all respects you; then get married; THEN have sex. Trust me. I wish I didn't have the baggage of my past.

At least I know God loves and forgives me, and that even though I strayed, he welcomed me back.

Andy D

4th August 2004, 09:49 PM

Greed_is_Good

5th August 2004, 03:31 AM

Like most people here, my partner and I have aslo fallen into the forbiden passion... One thing lead to another.. and things just happend, you know... but we shouldn't have done it. I recomend that others don't do it, because sex should wait until marriage.

Luckly our sins have been forgiven! :)

tanya88

7th August 2004, 04:24 AM

I think that its wrong. I'm not married..(i'm only 16) I made a promise to myself and God that I won't do it. The bible calls sex outside of marrige fonication. Before it was frowned upon:( but now people think it fine because everybody does it. God does not change!

Nycky

7th August 2004, 11:02 AM

Our body is a temple for the Holy Spirit. I'm going to keep it holy and clean.
What about sex taints a body before marraige?

Nyc

Nycky

7th August 2004, 11:09 AM

it's not right but i was backslidding so i sliped and now i got a consiquince out of it and now i am a single parent trying to raise a little girl who i adore very much and it's hard trying to do it on my own so that's another reason u should wait till marrige
Where is this child's father? What isn't he sharing the responsibility for the consequences of his behavior?

crusader711

7th August 2004, 11:19 AM

That's adultry. a commandment and one of the seven deadly sins.

Nycky

7th August 2004, 11:50 AM

When these Midianite women had seduced the Israelites and mixed with them, it was against God, as much as against the Israelites. These women had caused the men of Israel to commit adultery, and even caused them to bow to false gods.
I love how it is always a woman's fault when a man has sex. Israelite men chose to have sex outside of thier marriages with these women and then they chose to kill the ones with whom they had already had sex, keeping the virgins for future sexual activity.

I am so past Conservatism's need to blame women for the faults of men, keeping them shackled and ignorant as recompense.

Nyc

Nycky

7th August 2004, 12:21 PM

At the time the Bible was written, there was rarely the opportunity for premarital sex. Why? Because female children were married off as soon as they could breed. So if Jesus was simply a man of his times, it makes sense that he never directly addressed pre-marital sex then.
This is all too true. And it does amuse me when the anti-Gay Marriage crowd talks about saving the tradition of marriage from the heathen gays.

At the time that it was written, marriage had more in common with property rights laws than today's marriage of equal partnerships. Why didn't Jesus address these sick and immoral marriage practices? He not only failed to say they were wrong, he endorsed them by railing against divorce on several occasions.
Again you are completely correct. The traditional injunction about virginity (for women only as it turns out [biblical history as opposed to Scripture]) was more about making sure that a man's children (his property) are truly his and that he was not investing in supporting another man's offspring.

I do think that Jesus did make an attempt to address these issues when he spoke his injunction against divorce. In Jesus' time, a man could take many wives and divorce them simply by saying "I divorce thee." At that point, the woman would be reduced to begging or prostituting herself to survive. Her family, read father, would not take her in as she was used goods and could not be resold, and no good man would have her for the same reason.

Jesus was trying to set a new paradigm. If divorce is no longer an option, then men had to be more deliberate when entering a marriage contract as he would be stuck for life.

Nyc

Carl Carlson

7th August 2004, 12:29 PM

Everyone is responsible for thier own body and their own actions. Keep yourselves holy and pure. Whether you are a man or woman, you will still stand before your Holy and Just Judge, God the Father, and have to account for EVERY ONE OF YOUR SINS. Whether they are public or private. God knows the secrets of your heart, even your thoughts are exposed. Whether you feel women are being blamed by humans shouldnt affect they way you live your life. Each person is held accountable for themselves. Worry not about those who have the power to kill your body, but rather worry about Him that has the power to cast your soul into eternal hell. That alone makes me want to concern myself with my own welfare, so that I can get to heaven.

As far as your question about what defiles your body in having sex before marraige...

You are not only breaking God's Law, you are joining in union your body with another, which God intended for the husband and wife. You become one flesh. God knows the consequences of having sex outside of marriage and so do we. With all of the diseases, unwanted pregnancies, adultery, pornography, incest, rape, and all other sexual immorality, we realize that God was completely right when commanding us to save ourselves only for our spouse. If we follow this one simple command, none of those problems even enter into this world. There is no greater wedding gift than that of something you have saved your entire life.

Genesis 2:24 (http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=GEN+2:24&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=on&showxref=on)
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 6:18
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.

God Bless.

OneLastBreath

7th August 2004, 12:41 PM

The Bible's not exactly ambiguous on the subject, even if it was written in a time when there wasn't much opportunity for pre-marital sex.

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for God will judge the immoral and adulterous." - Hebrews 13:4

It's quite clear that God hates immorality, something which fornication falls under according to this verse. The same for:

"Shun immorality. Every other sin which a man commits is outside the body; but the immoral man sins against his own body." - 1 Corinthians 6:18

It seem that the Bible is loud and clear that sex before marriage is an act immorality, something God hates. And these aren't Old Testament writings, where things like unclean animals, etc, are now outdated. These are post-Christ writings, written by the Apostles who not only spent such a long time with Jesus, but as illustrated on Pentecost were so full of the Holy Spirit that their preachings were not their own but came directly from God. I respectfully disagree with those who say sex outside of marriage is okay, for to me the Bible is loud and clear.

QT_pie

7th August 2004, 04:52 PM

Its defenetly a sin

Kestrel25

7th August 2004, 07:57 PM

Mr. Lunt

7th August 2004, 11:11 PM

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 is very clear on the matter - sex outside of marriage is not okay.

Sex before marriage is a copout. It's just another manifestation of the "Get it now, pay later" mentality that is currently plaguing our society in so many areas.

If someone is willing to have sex with you before marriage, then they are likely willing to have it with someone other than you before marriage, also.

tweek821

9th August 2004, 12:35 AM

Sex was ordained by God for a man and a woman after being married.

Cin

9th August 2004, 09:33 PM

Sex before marriage is wrong. Personally I think that if a man/woman cannot wait until after you are married to have sex with you he/she doesn't respect you. I remember hearing the analogy in a youth group....Would you like a fast food burger now, or a steak later? I waited until marriage to have sex and I would do it all over again. I am not saying that it was easy to wait but I knew what Gods perfect will was. I can recount many friends that did not make that decision and how they agonized over their relationships and possible pregnancies. I know that that was not Gods perfect will for their lives to be filled with all that drama. :angel:

DeltaJ

9th August 2004, 10:05 PM

i think it depends on the circumstances

Andy D

9th August 2004, 10:31 PM

Well, i used to be against sex before marriage, but now i am not so sure.

What happens if you only realise that you don't connect in that way after you've been married? Divorcing is even worse in my opinion.

I know sex isn't the only important thing, but surely this would cause a problem?
This question is asked by many non-Christians and Christians....kinda like try before you buy. Sex outside of marriage is not the same as inside of marriage..it doesnt have that committment and love that is supposed to be a part of it...many just have sex for casual or fun reasons.

For those who desire to have sex with the other person so much that they cant wait for marriage...and need to try before they buy...and also for those who desire to live with someone before they marry..to test them out...do you have such little faith in God...who desires the best for us, that you cant believe He can work these things out???

I am waiting for that perfect one and even if I think I am in love with a girl...I wait...because I know God will hear my prayers and show me clearly like He did for my mum and dad and so many other Christian married couples I know.

Sex before marriage actually does more to destroy marriages then to help find the right partner so as to make them better. Ask most of my relatives who are divorced or struggling in their marriages....they all had sex before marriage...I would talk to Christians who are happily married and have been for a long time...they have all proven to me I dont need to live with someone or have sex first....and of course the Bible is clear anyhow...so why not just take it as the authority...regardless of culture or times changing...God isnt culture or times..and I am sure these concepts would still be the same today..that it is wrong to commit sexual immorality.

Bashing AvoHej

9th August 2004, 10:36 PM

...do you have such little faith in God...who desires the best for us, that you cant believe He can work these things out???
yeah, sounds about right. i especially like the two-for-one deals

MQTA

10th August 2004, 07:39 AM

MQTA

10th August 2004, 07:41 AM

Sex was ordained by God for a man and a woman after being married. That's true, and 2000, 3000, 4000 years ago, a 16 yr old girl would be married 3 years by now and have at least that many kids.

"Waiting for marriage" back then was only a few months after you were able to have sex, and they wanted to make sure others wouldn't just Take you.

OneLastBreath

10th August 2004, 09:46 AM

Personally, I think that saying that a message you don't like in the Bible is simply outdated is just looking for a loophole. When Moses asked God what he should say to the Hebrews when they asked who had sent him, don't forget the name God gave to himself. He said I Am Who I Am. Tell them I Am has sent you. God is exactly who is, he always was and he always will be. His thoughts and wills don't change with the times like people's do. The only reason certain laws changed was because they had to do with the atonement process, such as not eating unclean meats, and therefore no longer applied after Christ brought salvation. God's laws about sex before marriage had nothing to do with atonement, they were because God had specifically ordained sex to be between a husband and wife. Just because society changes, don't believe for a minute that God does too.

Colossians3

10th August 2004, 09:51 AM

MQTA

10th August 2004, 11:48 AM

Plain and simple, sex is for marriage alone. Sex outside of marriage is a sin, and I believe that although you can stop having sex outside of marriage, if you have already commited that sin, it lives in your heart forever. That is true. When you have deep intimate moments with someone, they live in your heart forever. Even if it's just once.

Every night in my dreams
I see you. I feel you.
That is how I know you go on.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you go on.

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

Love can touch us one time
And last for a lifetime
And never go till we're one

Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold to
In my life we'll always go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

There is some love that will not
go away

You're here, there's nothing I fear,
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

OneLastBreath

10th August 2004, 12:28 PM

Colossians3

10th August 2004, 02:36 PM

What a nice poem.

It's not just a poem, it's that song from Titanic! :P

OneLastBreath

10th August 2004, 02:39 PM

My mistake, however the context it was used in was what I was referring to.

DwightClough

11th August 2004, 11:28 AM

I think the real question is: Why do people need to have sex outside marriage? You don't have to read the Bible for very long to figure out that God prohibits it. But the real challenge to the church is to figure out how to purify our desires so that we want what God wants. Most people don't understand that sin is a solution - and the only way to get rid of a solution is to either get rid of the underlying problem or find a better solution. I have a longer article on this at my site.
Dwight

MQTA

12th August 2004, 12:48 AM

What a nice poem. But that ultimate sharing, the impression it leaves on your heart, would seem to most as a curse in many situations. Say one person comes to another's country for a visit. The two meet, decide they're in love, and have sex together. Then the visitor has to leave. God loves us, and like a parent his rules are to protect us from hurt and suffering. Sex was ordained for marriage so that two people, together forever, could truly show their love for each other. In the words of Genesis, they become one flesh. But in the previous situation, imagine the pain. Pain that would last a lifetime.It all depends on how "you" want to look at it. You can cherish the moments, or you can let them ruin you. YOUR choice. I've been with a lot of people over the last 3 decades, the ones I remember clearly and dearly were the intimate moments, each of them shaped my path that lead me to my wife of over 22 years now.

If you want the pain, it's there for you; if you want the love, memories, realization how its Formed Your Life, that's there too.

Carl Carlson

12th August 2004, 04:52 PM

I don't traditionally cherish pain. Pain comes from living outside of God's will. His commands are specifically set-up for our benefit. You cannot follow God's will and cause yourself or someone else pain. Sex is an extremely obvious way to end up with a lot of pain. We can see the results of this: broken heart, broken home, unwanted "baggage", rape, adultery, incest, molestation, stds, and the list goes on. All of which are very painful. None of this happens if we follow God's will. But with God there is healing. I would prefer to not burn myself several times when the sign says "don't touch, HOT"...I believe it!

Sex is for married couples and it was so well stated by people on this thread...there is no good reason to have sex outside of marriage and every good reason to have it IN marriage.

God Bless.

God Chaser

13th August 2004, 01:56 AM

hmmm what a topic!!! isn't one of the comanments to not have sex before marriage?

OneLastBreath

13th August 2004, 10:13 AM

Not exactly, adultery is more sex inside of marriage with another person. Still, there are many other places where the Bible's clear on sex before marriage.

Carl Carlson

13th August 2004, 11:04 AM

Adultery is having sexual relations with anyone other than your spouse, including before marriage.

Remember what Jesus said about it:

Matthew 5:28
"But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

This extends it to lustful thoughts with anyone that isn't your wife.

We are called to a higher purpose. Praise the Lord.

Bible Addict

13th August 2004, 11:38 AM

Definitely no, this isn't one of those issues that the Bible is unclear on, there are too many places that the Bible tell us premarital sex is wrong for us to debate or question it.

Aimee03

13th August 2004, 12:26 PM

NO, never!

j3sus fr3ak 777

13th August 2004, 11:40 PM

Um..no.

JohnnyV

14th August 2004, 01:11 PM

I voted No, I think that sex should be saved until you are married. I admit that before I was saved I was promiscuous, but the relationships never worked out. I feel that God does not bless a sexual relationship unless it is between a man and his wife.
I think it is also harder for a man, even christian men, to be celibate until marriage, but that is a 'cross' we have to bare.

Heatherondo

15th August 2004, 06:19 PM

I actually found myself questioning this very thing post divorce this year, because as i was reading scripture i found a verse (dont ask me now, i forget the verse reference, i am horrible at retaining numbers), thats made me question whether its meant only in marriage or if that only in monogomas relationships...
I eventually arrived after researching only in marriage. But it was something i was really had me wondering, and researching.

Heatherondo

15th August 2004, 06:23 PM

I also wanna add, The things that Gods word tell us to refrain from tend to be things that are unhealthy for us in some way.

Sex today can bring disease, pregnancy, and even death, not to mention the emotional toll it can take sometimes.

UGH!
God knows what he is talking about!:bow:

faith by day

15th August 2004, 06:26 PM

NO! Sex is a gift, that god gave us- that only the man (or woman) you are married to shall recieve.

MQTA

15th August 2004, 06:28 PM

NO! Sex is a gift, that god gave us- that only the man (or woman) you are married to shall recieve. You got the first part right. It is a gift. We choose with whom to share it. I hope all shared gifts are special and memorable or at least valuable when looking back over the days filled with opportunity. They go by fast enough.

The "J"

1st September 2004, 11:22 PM

No. Sex outside of marriage is wrong.

Moros

3rd September 2004, 01:24 AM

Fornication is fornication.

Cerulean_Butterfly

6th September 2004, 12:25 PM

definetly not. :)

-Jo :hug:

~PICKLE~

6th September 2004, 03:11 PM

NO!!!!!!!!

6th September 2004, 04:56 PM

"Married" according to the State, or "Married" as within the Church? The two are separate because you cannot be a Christian and an American at the same time. Choose one or the other.

Peace

treasurewords

6th September 2004, 05:04 PM

Wrong. Why? Because God said so.

When looking at why God says fornication is wrong, I like to look at it from this
point of view. What happens when fornication is allowed?
Pregnancy, children that have unloving parents (parents who aren't ready to care
for them), broken hearts, depressed people, STDs, and so on.
The standard set forth in the bible is there to prevent chaos like this breaking out
in mankind.
The BINDING AGREEMENT OF MARRIAGE is in place to make sexual intimacy
something for people WHO ARE READY TO HAVE ACCESS TO IT.
But the bible also said this thing was going to happen. The clock's been on 11:59 for
a long time... I'm just waiting for 12:00 and the return of the real King.
To the world, enjoy the short life of pleasure you have.
Because it's all you get.
):

DeusAmante

6th September 2004, 05:17 PM

Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20! It speaks about sexual immorality!

Colossians3

6th September 2004, 05:19 PM

As does Colossians 3... :)

DeusAmante

6th September 2004, 05:22 PM

Neat, Scotty! :) I am goinna have to read that later a 'lil more thoroughly. Thank ya! *gasps....are you stalking me!* ;)

Richard

6th September 2004, 06:03 PM

No and my reasoning is 2 words "not bibical"

mochagirl

6th September 2004, 06:28 PM

Of course sex outside of marriage is wrong--the Bible clearly states it as such.

Sheena_Va

6th September 2004, 08:44 PM

"Married" according to the State, or "Married" as within the Church? The two are separate because you cannot be a Christian and an American at the same time. Choose one or the other.

Peacewow...reckon i need to change one of my icons, huh? Some bug of the system allowed me to choose American AND Christian!!
Either way ya look at it, sex outside of marriage is wrong.
I'll even take it a step further by assuming your above quote is in reference to same sex marriages or civil unions.
It would seem to me that if someone was gay and felt like they were Christians, that they too would even find sex outside of a "union" to be sinful.

Nevada77

6th September 2004, 09:56 PM

I am having problems with this one my self. Before I gave my life to the LOrd i would have said YES definately. But now that I am a christian I am having second thoughts.

Nevada :angel:

AdJesumPerMariam

17th September 2004, 08:12 AM

It's never Ok. It's even one of the 10 commandments!

r9703410

17th September 2004, 07:09 PM

I think it is just up to the person. You can't really say yes or no b/c it is not you. If you don't till your married, fine, if you do, fine. I think it is up to that person and they should not be criticized for what they do or don't do. :)

shroudedcherub

17th September 2004, 11:58 PM

I waited until I was married at 26 and I thank the Lord I did.

Gwynne

18th September 2004, 07:02 PM

ChristianGirlNY

19th September 2004, 07:07 PM

it is not right to have sex before marraige

Bible Addict

19th September 2004, 07:09 PM

I put "not sure" although that's not really the best way to describe it... I think that for Christians it is not right, in anyway. We are to keep ourselves holy as the Lord is holy and premarital sex isn't exactly holy.

However we also shouldn't impose our morals on others, so it's not my place to say if it's right for others.
Yes we should! It's called witnessing! lol j/k... I know what you mean, but I don't think it's right for anyone regardless of what they believe...

okiemommy26

26th September 2004, 03:31 PM

No its not

JessLovesPugs

26th September 2004, 04:51 PM

I think its definately something that you should wait to do til you're married its something you share together with that special some one :) .

Neal

6th October 2004, 04:07 PM

If you're trying to convince your spouse that you love him or her, you would keep your purity for him or her.

night2day

6th October 2004, 05:56 PM

Genesis 2:24
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. And the two shall be one flesh."

Anything apart from the above is apart from God's design and what He originally intended before the fall into sin.

kleptobismol

6th October 2004, 05:58 PM

it is not ok by any means or in any situation...keep your purity!

fluffy_rainbow

4th November 2004, 09:24 PM

My life is a prime example of why the Bible says we should wait. God does not tell us in His Word that we should flee from sexual immorality because He doesn't want us to have any fun. He knew before He created us the heartache that pre-marital sex causes. It wreaks havoc on your self-esteem. It breaks down your trust. It can render serious physical consequences as well such as unplanned pregnancy and/or STD's. There are many common misconceptions about pre-marital sex. I would like to dispel them, if I may?

1. If you don't have sex, how will you know if your future spouse is good in bed?
Sex plays a key role in a marriage, yes; however, being good in the sack should never be a pre-requisite to potential marriage. So if you truly love someone with all of your heart and soul and yet they are not up to par in the bed you wouldn't marry them? Besides, what a wonderful gift, to cultivate your skills with one partner! You have your entire lives to perfect your sexual techniques. Other qualities such as integrity, love, respect, devotion, modesty, etc. are unchanging. If someone possesses these qualities but has no sexual experience what a blessing!

2. If two people love one another they should be able to have sex.
If two people love one another the way Christ says we should (as Christ loved the Church) then they would guard their partner's heart AND their purity. There is no greater way to demonstrate your love for someone than by looking out for their best interest as opposed to your own, and one way of showing that love is by helping them wait until God says is the appropriate time to consummate that love - within the confines of marriage.

3. Just because you have sex doesn't mean you'll get an STD or experience unplanned pregnancy.
That is true. In fact, most people who choose to have sex out of wedlock will fortunantely not experience the physical consequences of sexual sin; however, there are scores of mental and emotional consequences that come with pre-marital sex. Most people cannot separate out the emotional aspect of sex. When two people come together in a sexual union they are no longer two entities. The Bible says they become one. The closest and most personal thing you will ever share with someone else is sexual intercourse. The only other relationship we, as Christians, will experience that is deeper and more intimate than the sexual relationship is our relationship with Christ. I can assure you from experience, every time you give your body to someone other than your spouse you are giving away a part of your soul as well. Perhaps that seems corny, but I know firsthand the damages of having pre-marital sex.

Bottom line, the Bible offers up these guidelines for our own protection. If I could go back seven years and alter the course of my life I would. I wish I would have waited. Instead of looking to men and offering up my body to them, I wish I would have depended on my Prince and offered up my heart to Him. It would have saved me alot of grief.

equal-minded

4th November 2004, 09:34 PM

noooo way. the bible says keep sex till after marrige! thats what i stand for now, then and forever.

Animerulz400

4th November 2004, 09:40 PM

Well...I soppose it's okay. Just don't get carried away. But...it sounds...YUCK.

fluffy_rainbow

4th November 2004, 09:46 PM

Well...I soppose it's okay. Just don't get carried away.
How would you define "carried away"? Sleeping with two people before marriage, becoming a prostitute, being sexually involved with countless men or women?

gizmo03

4th November 2004, 09:58 PM

I plan to wait till marriage. Too much of a chance of hearache to waste something so special on someone that is just out looking for sex.

4th November 2004, 10:03 PM

There is no such thing as "casual sex." It does not exist. What is "casual" is the perpetuated illusion that people can share that part of themselves with no emotional/spiritual backlash.

We must be careful to not mistake sex for love, or even equate the two.

rahul_sharma

5th November 2004, 01:34 PM

never

eaglex

6th November 2004, 07:39 PM

God only condones sex within the bounds of marriage and only between a husband and wife.:amen: :thumbsup:

sparklecat

8th November 2004, 06:45 AM

It's never Ok. It's even one of the 10 commandments!
Are you sure?

kissybug27

8th November 2004, 10:18 AM

Sex should be between a man and woman who are bound before the eyes of God.

I waited so can you.

Hisbygrace

8th November 2004, 01:47 PM

I think our problem today is that we conform to what society dictates as the norm, foolish people we are when Paul told us not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so that we may prove what the will of God is, that which is good, acceptable and perfect.
We are to teach as the Holy Spirit leads, but never, never judge the life of another lest we be judged in like manner!

mrguitarporsche5

8th November 2004, 05:35 PM

No it is absolutely wrong.

fluffy_rainbow

8th November 2004, 05:40 PM

Are you sure?
There is a debate about what constitutes as "adultery". Yes, one of the Ten Commandments is "thou shall not commit adultery". The question is what is "adultery"? Is adultery exclusively cheating on your spouse, or is it any other form of sexual immorality? Some believe that fornication is a form of adultery. The New Testament says that if a man even looks upon another woman with lust in his heart he has committed adultery.

Jessica Lauren

8th November 2004, 10:51 PM

After. People who want to just save it for the one they "love" so they do it before marriage, what if you don't really love that person and you break up? Heh.

Lunzo

9th November 2004, 03:46 AM

I've noticed some people are saying no sex is good. I think we need to be clear on this at least: Sex is part of God's creation, therefore sex is good if used properly (within a loving marriage). Genesis 2:24 says "a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." It's kind of taken as a given that a married couple will have sex. And I don't think we can ignore Song of Songs which definately says that it is good :cool:.

That said, I agree with the majority that sex outside of marriage is not on. Unfortunately there's no 11th commandment "Thou shalt not have sex before marriage". However I can think of 3 new testament passages which are against sex before marriage. The first is Ephesians 5:3-5 "among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. 4Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. 5For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person--such a man is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God." Not a hint means nothing. We shouldn't even be telling dirty jokes!

The next one is 1 Cor 6:12-20. It basically says that we don't have to obey laws as Christians but we shouldn't just do anything as not everything is good for us.

The last passage I can think of is Jesus' teaching on adultery which has been mentioned a lot here. If looking at a woman lustfully is adultery then it's pretty safe to say that having sex with a woman you aren't married to is adultery as well.

I hope that settles the issue a little :D

The Story Teller

9th November 2004, 09:46 AM

For Better or Worse . . . Mostly Worse

BreakPoint with Charles Colson

July 24, 2002

The State of Our Marital Unions

Tina wants to get married, but her boyfriend Ted just wants to move in. Ted is an exceptionally honest young man, so here is what he says: "Tina, I'm fond of you, and I want to live with you for the following reasons. First, it will make it easier for me to enjoy regular sex. Second, I want to protect my assets—assets I'd have to share with you if we got a divorce. Third, you already have kids, and I don't want to support them. Fourth, I'm waiting for my perfect soul mate to come along. Until I meet her, I'd like to live with you."

Sound convincing? Probably not. Tim's arguments are incredibly insulting. And yet, according to a new study, these are exactly the reasons men want to live with women—reasons that not only insult women, but also make them big losers on the domestic front.

At Rutgers University, researchers with the National Marriage Project have published a report called "Why Men Won't Commit: Exploring Young Men's Attitudes about Sex, Dating, and Marriage." The study offers the top ten reasons men are reluctant to say, "I do." Among them: They can get all the sex they want without marriage. They want to enjoy the single life as long as possible. They want to avoid the financial pitfalls of divorce. And they're afraid marriage will demand too many changes and compromises. Apparently, their live-in girlfriends can get used to their bad habits or leave.

Most galling of all is the admission by men that they don't want to marry their girlfriends because they're waiting for their "true love" to come along. Then they'll tie the knot, buy a home, and father kids. Meanwhile, their live-ins can pick up their socks and provide sex-on-demand.

Grandma was right: Men won't buy the cow if they can get the milk free.

Grandma was echoing the wisdom of the biblical writers. Read the Old Testament, and you'll get a picture of how carefully the ancient Israelites protected unmarried women: They knew how predatory, how utterly selfish, men can be. Taking on the responsibilities of a wife and children involved hard work that would last a lifetime. And men were only motivated to shoulder those responsibilities because their culture demanded it.

Modern women have far more freedom of movement than their sisters in the ancient world. But human nature is still fallen. This means that men are as predatory as ever—and women today are paying the price for it in a culture that doesn't demand marriage.

I hope this report serves as a wake-up call to women who think men who want to cohabit have marriage on their minds. Most of them do not. Pastors ought to make this report a subject of a sermon. And if they know couples in their congregations are living together, they ought to encourage them to either marry—or separate.

I hope you'll read the full Rutgers report (http://marriage.rutgers.edu/TEXTSOOU2002.htm) . If enough women read it, maybe the day would come when men who invite women to live with them would get what they deserve: a slap in the face for that kind of insult.

Submitted by Richard

P.S.

Food for Thought…..

Why buy the Cow when you can get the milk for free???

chessterbester

9th November 2004, 11:04 AM

Sex is a personal decision. I personally don't think it is wrong in the confines of an adult committed relationship, however christians might. The arguement that if you have sex before marriage, you might break up with the person is a moot point to me, since 50% of marriages end in divorce.

9th November 2004, 11:23 AM

Why buy the Cow when you can get the milk for free???

This cliche is very damaging to women as a group because it sets them up as "gatekeepers."

To say that men are mostly responsible for pre-marital sex only reinforces the subjugation of women because it abdicates their autonomy.

Many people, women and men, choose to live together instead of getting married because of a real fear of not being able to trust each other. One only need to look at the divorce rate to understand their fear is not without solid reasoning.

fluffy_rainbow

9th November 2004, 11:53 AM

The arguement that if you have sex before marriage, you might break up with the person is a moot point to me, since 50% of marriages end in divorce.
Indeed, but the majority of people who divorce either lived together out of wedlock or engaged in pre-marital sex with their partner.

Many people, women and men, choose to live together instead of getting married because of a real fear of not being able to trust each other. One only need to look at the divorce rate to understand their fear is not without solid reasoning.
Well if there is a trust issue then the relationship is on rocky ground to begin with. If someone cannot be trustworthy enough to marry then there is no solid foundation. Living together just because you fear divorce shows a lack of commitment.

9th November 2004, 12:09 PM

Well if there is a trust issue then the relationship is on rocky ground to begin with. If someone cannot be trustworthy enough to marry then there is no solid foundation. Living together just because you fear divorce shows a lack of commitment.
That is exactly the point. Our culture has degenerated to the point that even when people get married, they have an escape plan. Those who choose to live together simply choose to avoid all the work of a wedding and divorce. They know they are not really committed to each other because they know they cannot really trust each other.

I think one of the core problems is our culture does not encourage individuals to be authentic. When two superficial people come together the relationship cannot be anything but superficial.

Churches are especially tough places on individuals because people are so afraid of being judged that they do not feel the freedom to express their real problems to their sisters and brothers in Christ. How ironic is that?

By God's Grace, I have met the person that made me realize why the others didn't work out.:amen: Our relationship is based in Christ, and it is easily the best relationship I have ever had. Thank you God!!

MQTA

9th November 2004, 12:47 PM

Indeed, but the majority of people who divorce either lived together out of wedlock or engaged in pre-marital sex with their partner.

.
Do you have a link with compiled stats for that? I know a lot of people who are divorced, and the majority of the ones I know about all waited til they got married to have sex, for some that is WHY they got married. A great majority of the women who've left their husbands also seem to have a similar pattern of exit also. First they get a boyfriend, have sex with them, they help them split from their husband, and then most of the time the women drops them, too.

MQTA

9th November 2004, 01:00 PM

I think about this when I hear those words... about how things have gotten worse, or changed, as IF they were EVER any better than any of us remember it being.

I don't think our culture has degenerated, but that is often how most people look at things, from the negative side. I think our culture is still a growing child. We may have 'grown' a lot in the last 50-70 years, but I think we're still not too far out of puberty.

There was never a time when things were better. What are we comparing things to? Our own memories of how we thought things were when we, ourselves, were young ones? Or nostalgic views from our parents or their parents who have memories how how They thought things were when they were young?

The planet and all of it's living organisms exists, each part of the whole, as one unit, and as 6 billion human units and a few trillion trillion trillion of other living things, not to mention how many have come and gone over the last few thousand years of our history. Each of us has our own unique point of view of how things are: in their life, around them, globally.

1 planet, 6 billion current opinions of How Things Are.

Even though CF has over 80,000 people, wow, that's a LOT... yeah, for a website... but there are 80,000 people living in One Fifth of my "home town" of 440,000+, in my local city of 8 million, in my tri state area of 28+ million.

I don't think they're living with any concern for our opinions here. I'm sure they're no more concerned with how others think, than they are with how they should be living. Everyone seems to justify their own position.

I try not to judge people who get married, or divorced, not my business. I don't have any experience with that. All I know is, I'm not a part of that degenerated society, although many friends and relatives must be. I only got married once and will never get married again. Can't say I won't get divorced, until another 40 years or so from now. Can only try to be supportive of the aweful situations most people think they're living in, when aweful things happen.

Good luck in your choices :)

That is exactly the point. Our culture has degenerated to the point that even when people get married, they have an escape plan. Those who choose to live together simply choose to avoid all the work of a wedding and divorce. They know they are not really committed to each other because they know they cannot really trust each other.

I think one of the core problems is our culture does not encourage individuals to be authentic. When two superficial people come together the relationship cannot be anything but superficial.

Churches are especially tough places on individuals because people are so afraid of being judged that they do not feel the freedom to express their real problems to their sisters and brothers in Christ. How ironic is that?

By God's Grace, I have met the person that made me realize why the others didn't work out.:amen: Our relationship is based in Christ, and it is easily the best relationship I have ever had. Thank you God!!

9th November 2004, 01:21 PM

I don't think our culture has degenerated, but that is often how most people look at things, from the negative side. I think our culture is still a growing child. We may have 'grown' a lot in the last 50-70 years, but I think we're still not too far out of puberty.
Thanks much for the corrective uplift.:) It was an illegitimate comment.:blush: Great point stating we, as a society, are still very much in our growing pains.

Things are constantly changing, and depending on our positional perspectives is how we judge if areas are improving or regressing. Great reminder to always look for the positive versus the negative.

I don't think we should tell people how to live their personal lives, but be there for them in the joyful as well as the painful times.

With that whole 'no sex before marriage' thing I've often wondered if people got married just so they could have guilt-free sex. If people felt guilty about pre-marital sex was the conviction coming from a higher power or culture? Sometimes that's hard to discern.

Congratualations on your successful marriage:amen: Any words of wisdom for the rest of us?

Thanks

GeneralNewbie

9th November 2004, 04:47 PM

All three...even sex while getting married

XxAuroraxX

11th November 2004, 05:20 PM

i think it's just a matter of personal choice. it's not right for some one just to day 'No, it's not allowed to happen', it has to be upto the individual, afterall it's their choice, they have got to live with it for the rest of their life!

guitargatler

11th November 2004, 05:24 PM

definitely NO!

MQTA

11th November 2004, 07:26 PM

Thanks much for the corrective uplift.:) It was an illegitimate comment.:blush: Great point stating we, as a society, are still very much in our growing pains.

Things are constantly changing, and depending on our positional perspectives is how we judge if areas are improving or regressing. Great reminder to always look for the positive versus the negative.

I don't think we should tell people how to live their personal lives, but be there for them in the joyful as well as the painful times.

With that whole 'no sex before marriage' thing I've often wondered if people got married just so they could have guilt-free sex. If people felt guilty about pre-marital sex was the conviction coming from a higher power or culture? Sometimes that's hard to discern. I think you hit the nail on the head there. I know of many who have gotten married for all the wrong reasons, and then when they got divorced, they just couldn't understand what happened. I've heard my parents say YEARS ago that they thought someone got married "just to get out of the house" or to get away from their parents, and they ended up going from one set of parents, to just one, of the opposite sex, and still felt the same way. Naturally, divorce followed.

Congratualations on your successful marriage:amen: Any words of wisdom for the rest of us?

Thanks Thanks. 22+ years now. Communication is KEY, above all else. Above love, above sex, above financial issues, everything falls apart when communication is severely lacking.

11th November 2004, 09:15 PM

Communication is KEY, above all else. Above love, above sex, above financial issues, everything falls apart when communication is severely lacking.Thank you for being so straightforward. This is affirming in more ways than I am able to say 'cause I don't want to violate that universal "overshare" policy.;)

Communication seems to be a major Key for life in general. Dr. King says, "We must find more loving ways of communicating."

MQTA

11th November 2004, 11:02 PM

Thank you for being so straightforward. This is affirming in more ways than I am able to say 'cause I don't want to violate that universal "overshare" policy.;)

Communication seems to be a major Key for life in general. Dr. King says, "We must find more loving ways of communicating."
I'm about 11 years older than you are, so can I say "When I was your age"?

11 years ago I found Dr. Wayne Dyer's first published book from 1976, after I finished reading it, I went back to where I got the book from (a new reference library) and they had a computer catalog. I thought he was a one book wonder, who knew, I looked him up in their catalog and was surprised to find he wrote as late as 1989.

I went to look for his other books, but all they had was a video tape of the same name, so I took that home with me. Nothing really different than the book, but I was able to convince some people close to me to watch the video with me. I must have had 7 or 8 viewings with various people.

Then I went to Walden books, found all his other books, to date, and read them all. Just when I finished his latest book, he published a new one. He's been publishing and doing seminars all along.

His early books totally changed my life. His later books are more Spiritual and I would imagine very complimentary.

I became Mr. Mom in 1994 because of the impact his books had on me. My views on the world have changed greatly from 1993 and on.

But I still believe I thought even back then that Communication was KEY.

jcright

12th November 2004, 03:26 PM

Nope, I don't think it's okay.

12th November 2004, 08:21 PM

I'm about 11 years older than you are, so can I say "When I was your age"?

11 years ago I found Dr. Wayne Dyer's first published book from 1976, after I finished reading it, I went back to where I got the book from (a new reference library) and they had a computer catalog. I thought he was a one book wonder, who knew, I looked him up in their catalog and was surprised to find he wrote as late as 1989.

I went to look for his other books, but all they had was a video tape of the same name, so I took that home with me. Nothing really different than the book, but I was able to convince some people close to me to watch the video with me. I must have had 7 or 8 viewings with various people.

Then I went to Walden books, found all his other books, to date, and read them all. Just when I finished his latest book, he published a new one. He's been publishing and doing seminars all along.

His early books totally changed my life. His later books are more Spiritual and I would imagine very complimentary.

I became Mr. Mom in 1994 because of the impact his books had on me. My views on the world have changed greatly from 1993 and on.

But I still believe I thought even back then that Communication was KEY.
Hopefully, I "will be" your age, and prayerfully, will have the peace inside to express the same love and accountability as done in your posts.

I read Dr. Dyer's essay on politicians, and it was amazing. Strange how we seem to miss the most obvious of situations. He is right, we don't need "leaders" but servants, because we are all responsible for leading our own lives.

As stated, some people have gotten married for the benefit of sex. It seems they were not leading their own lives, but rather trying to be servants to those they considered "leaders."

When it comes to making decisions we are all influenced by a myriad of voices. For me, it is the process of learning to fully trust the leading of the Holy Spirit. That is the only voice that should matter, because it is the only voice (IMO) that does matter. (I think the Holy Spirit is God speaking to anyone willing to listen; be they Muslim, Jew, Christian, and for those who do not claim a religion, yet do their genuine best to seek God.)

LoveofChrist

12th November 2004, 11:15 PM

No it is absolutely wrong.AMEN!! i totally agree. every day i hear of friends and classmates who have divorced parents and i'm sure that a big part of the problem is premarital sex.

back in the early days of america, how many people had sex outside of marriage? how many people got divorced? of course, mention this link to a non-christian and they'll just ignore it, but i think most people here know better!

Saruman

12th November 2004, 11:57 PM

I know it is wrong, from a feeling I get even talking about it. I believe that is the Holy Spirit within me, or consience, saying it is wrong.

MQTA

13th November 2004, 12:22 AM

Well, the point about age was, I was 33 1/3 when I found Wayne Dyer's early books. My entire life changed, completely, drastically, in ways I would have never imagined.

That was the age when everything changed. I thought things were just fine... but wow, they got so much better.

Hopefully, I "will be" your age, and prayerfully, will have the peace inside to express the same love and accountability as done in your posts.

I read Dr. Dyer's essay on politicians, and it was amazing. Strange how we seem to miss the most obvious of situations. He is right, we don't need "leaders" but servants, because we are all responsible for leading our own lives.

As stated, some people have gotten married for the benefit of sex. It seems they were not leading their own lives, but rather trying to be servants to those they considered "leaders."

When it comes to making decisions we are all influenced by a myriad of voices. For me, it is the process of learning to fully trust the leading of the Holy Spirit. That is the only voice that should matter, because it is the only voice (IMO) that does matter. (I think the Holy Spirit is God speaking to anyone willing to listen; be they Muslim, Jew, Christian, and for those who do not claim a religion, yet do their genuine best to seek God.)