Where do I Start?

[jasminebloom]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here, and have been lurking around for awhile. This is a wonderful site. I am hoping that maybe someone might be able to help me and answer some questions I have, as I am really really green regarding Christianity and my spirituality.

A little background information: I am 33, married and have a four year old. I grew up in an agnostic/atheist home, where money, status, and what other people thought of us (meaning, as a family) was the top priority. I had very little to no exposure to God, and didn't really know anyone who went to church. I had a lot of boundery issues growing up and into my twenties, and felt that school was pointless and taking care of myself was pointless. I was bulimic for eighteen years (I stopped three years ago), and had an alcohol problem for 5 years (I stopped drinking about 8 and a half years ago). I was also sexually promiscuous for a long time, right up to when I met my husband 7 years ago.
My conversion to Christianity has been very slow. When I got over my eating disorder, I felt drawn in that direction. Two months ago, I finally joined a church, and my husband and my little girl are going too-we are really enjoying it.
The issues I am having now are; I am feeling so remorseful at my past behavior, and so ashamed at some of the things I hold on to. I have a tendency to gossip, to curse, to hold a lot of contempt for my mother, and have an unnatural obsession with my appearance.
Also: my husband and I met when he was separated from his first wife, we didn't get married until our daughter was 2, and we got married by a judge. My bulimia has been thankfully resolved, but I was still bulimic when I was pregnant. I am still struggling with a lot of guilt from this.

I was baptized when I was very young, but should I get baptized again? I know I cannot undo the past, but I do so want to be right in God's eyes.
Any opinions are welcome. Thank you so much in advance.

[en|gma]

Wow...ur life is a testimony! I rejoice for u have found Christ and continue to seek Him! I am very happy for you. As for some of your questions:

God loved us while we were yet sinners...so what makes you think inferior? We are made right in the eyes of God through the blood of Jesus Christ. Transformation can be a long process for some. Don't worry, God is still at work with and in you. He's changing all of us from glory to glory.

The first step is to confess all the things u feel u still hold onto as part of a dark past and surrender them all at God's feet. Then ask for His strength and perseverance to change. Repent from those sins, that is...try not to do them anymore. U cannot change yourself...it's God's job to do. Leave it to Him. Trust Him. And remember...nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:35-39). Now that u are in Him, you can never fall beyond His grip of grace.

The guilt that u feel now is due to an increased sensitivity to sin in ur life now that you are a Christian. I do hope all he best for u and ur family!

[Droobie]

Hallo JB, welcome to Christian Forums. Hope you find the answers, or the guidance you're seeking here. We have many forums in which you can field your questions, particularly one for 'new' Christians.

[seangoh]

well,
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. " 1 John 1:9

Perhaps it's hard to understand how God can possibly forgive us. One way you can go about is to be sensitive to God's workings in your life..for eg..how "coincidences" happen just for the benefit of you. Slowly you'll know more and more how merciful and gracious God is towards you and will come to accept the above verse as true. Just my 2 cents.

[kimber1]

remember too that when we ask forgiveness for our sins, He remembers them no more! how awesome is that!!! we however as mere humans want to hang on to all that and it's quite normal! while yes, we should remember what we have done in the past adn strive to do better, we shouldn't hang onto the guilt because Jesus' blood cleansed us from that. we are free from here on out to move forward and live a cleaner life for our Lord!

[water_ripple]

Hi Everyone,

I am new here, and have been lurking around for awhile. This is a wonderful site. I am hoping that maybe someone might be able to help me and answer some questions I have, as I am really really green regarding Christianity and my spirituality.

A little background information: I am 33, married and have a four year old. I grew up in an agnostic/atheist home, where money, status, and what other people thought of us (meaning, as a family) was the top priority. I had very little to no exposure to God, and didn't really know anyone who went to church. I had a lot of boundery issues growing up and into my twenties, and felt that school was pointless and taking care of myself was pointless. I was bulimic for eighteen years (I stopped three years ago), and had an alcohol problem for 5 years (I stopped drinking about 8 and a half years ago). I was also sexually promiscuous for a long time, right up to when I met my husband 7 years ago.
My conversion to Christianity has been very slow. When I got over my eating disorder, I felt drawn in that direction. Two months ago, I finally joined a church, and my husband and my little girl are going too-we are really enjoying it.
The issues I am having now are; I am feeling so remorseful at my past behavior, and so ashamed at some of the things I hold on to. I have a tendency to gossip, to curse, to hold a lot of contempt for my mother, and have an unnatural obsession with my appearance.
Also: my husband and I met when he was separated from his first wife, we didn't get married until our daughter was 2, and we got married by a judge. My bulimia has been thankfully resolved, but I was still bulimic when I was pregnant. I am still struggling with a lot of guilt from this.

I was baptized when I was very young, but should I get baptized again? I know I cannot undo the past, but I do so want to be right in God's eyes.
Any opinions are welcome. Thank you so much in advance.Let me tell ya sister our lives are somewhat paralleled..Of course some things are different...The transformation for me has taken all of my life, and still I fall short. I too was baptized or christened (not particularly sure) at an early age, and really did not know what it meant. Now that I do I want to be baptized in the old way so that I may go forth on my spiritual walk with Christ. I am not trying to tell you this is something you must do. I am simply stating that I feel compelled to be baptized. Not because of something somebody told me..Infact I've been told the contrary. After I read John I prayed about getting baptized, and I feel compelled to do so. And the spirit is not letting up..:D

For the matter about your past life..Sin stings like nothing else. Shame and guilt can seem overwhelming. They can cause you to hide from God. He is always faithful to forgive repentant sinners because He loves us. The blood of Christ will make you justified, and free you from wrath. You have been reconciled to God..now is the time to make your walk toward Him. He will be with you always even when you stumble, and as long as you are faithful to Him..He will pick you back up.:hug:

PM me anytime if you feel like you need to talk.

[Lyle]

Well, that's awesome.. And late is better then never :)

; I am feeling so remorseful at my past behavior, and so ashamed at some of the things I hold on to.
Mas a Biblical example, look at Paul. Before he came to Christ or Christ ot him), he killed the very people who knew the true way. He kileld other Christians... he probally looked back on that with shame and remorse, not quite a bad thing... But to dwell on the past is nothing more then a rut Satan would try to get you stuck in.. The Bible says, 'Forgetting what is behind, i lay hold of that which is ahead." Forget the past, know and remember that you are forgiven, and that past has been delt with in full.... Though maybe if there is someone you wornged, you should go to them and apologise...

I have a tendency to gossip, to curse, to hold a lot of contempt for my mother, and have an unnatural obsession with my appearance.
All sin is an issue with the heart, and much of it cannot be delt with on your own. You must seek God's helo. Memorize scripture, use it as a sword, and quote it when you feel that you will do those things.. It will send the enemy running...

Also: my husband and I met when he was separated from his first wife, we didn't get married until our daughter was 2, and we got married by a judge. My bulimia has been thankfully resolved, but I was still bulimic when I was pregnant. I am still struggling with a lot of guilt from this.
Go has removed your sin as far as the east is from the west... It's gone and there's nothing more to it.. It's time now to move forward on to being more like Christ :)

I was baptized when I was very young, but should I get baptized again? I know I cannot undo the past, but I do so want to be right in God's eyes.
baptisim is a symbol and sign to the world of your inward commitment, that you are being identified with Christ and you wnat to live for Him.... Though were you saved when you were first baptized?

[jasminebloom]

:) Thank you for the responses everyone. I really appretiate it, and it has given me a lot to think about.

[PurdueChristian]

I read you don't know much about God yet. When we become Christians I feel God holds our hands and shows us many things. As you grow up spiritually God is still with you but lets go of your hand since you are able to walk now. God gives everyone free will and because of that people make terrible choices and bad things happen to EVERYONE, including Christians. I'm telling you this because many people think that becoming a Christian means bad things or mistakes wont happen anymore but they do, the only difference is that you hold the 'truth'. No matter what the world throws at you, you are saved from the one who tries to destroy you. Satan will never stop trying to get your soul.....keep looking toward God even when things go bad...the reward in the end is worth it.

[Stormy]

jasminebloom : It was real nice to read your post. :) One thing about being a Christian is to learn the art of forgiveness. Talk to God. Tell him how sorry you are for your sins. He will forgive you if you are really, really sincere. Then you must forgive yourself. If you carry around the weight of your past sins, each day will be dulled, and it will be harder for you to find peace. Instead live in the brightness of His love, find joy in knowing that He has called you to Him.

[The Midge]

QUOTE=jasminebloom Hi Everyone,

I am new here, and have been lurking around for awhile. This is a wonderful site. I am hoping that maybe someone might be able to help me and answer some questions I have, as I am really really green regarding Christianity and my spirituality.
Welcome to the boards. It is a good place to look and hang out.

A little background information: I am 33, married and have a four year old. I grew up in an agnostic/atheist home, where money, status, and what other people thought of us (meaning, as a family) was the top priority. I had very little to no exposure to God, and didn't really know anyone who went to church. I had a lot of boundery issues growing up and into my twenties, and felt that school was pointless and taking care of myself was pointless. I was bulimic for eighteen years (I stopped three years ago), and had an alcohol problem for 5 years (I stopped drinking about 8 and a half years ago). I was also sexually promiscuous for a long time, right up to when I met my husband 7 years ago.
My conversion to Christianity has been very slow. When I got over my eating disorder, I felt drawn in that direction. Two months ago, I finally joined a church, and my husband and my little girl are going too-we are really enjoying it.
Wonderful.
The issues I am having now are; I am feeling so remorseful at my past behavior, and so ashamed at some of the things I hold on to. I have a tendency to gossip, to curse, to hold a lot of contempt for my mother, and have an unnatural obsession with my appearance.
God loves you. God has forgiven you.
God asks that you return the favour and it is also a good thing to admit our wrongs to those we sin against so they can forgive and healing can take place.
Also: my husband and I met when he was separated from his first wife, we didn't get married until our daughter was 2, and we got married by a judge.
The general principle is if you are married stay married.
1Co 7:10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband...1Co 7:20 Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him
There is a lot of advice in 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 some study may reward you.
My bulimia has been thankfully resolved, but I was still bulimic when I was pregnant. I am still struggling with a lot of guilt from this.

I was baptized when I was very young, but should I get baptized again? I know I cannot undo the past, but I do so want to be right in God's eyes.
I was baptized as a baby and confirmed in the Church of England when I was 14 (or there abouts). When I made a commitment when I was 17. I spent 4 years thinking about baptism and finally decided to have a believer's baptism by imersion. It is better to be in obediance than worry about it. Although my mother was outraged I don't think that God was. He sees what is on the heart. Do it for God if you feel that is right. The funny thing is God seems less concerned about theological correctness than we are.
Any opinions are welcome. Thank you so much in advance.
You are welcome.

[Mr.Cheese]

Your past has the power to help and minister to others who struggle with the same thnigs you went through. SO God can take our shame and use it to His glory by helping people. That helps me out.

[jasminebloom]

Thanks everyone for the encouragment.
I have a hard time forgiving myself, and taking my hands off the steering wheel-so to speak- is very very difficult. I wish I could totally banish the analytical part of me too, and just have faith. I have moments when I feel my faith is there, and moments when I feel that praying is just a form of self talk (hence the agnostic background). Again, this is very new territory for me.
Thank you especially water_ripple, and I just might take you up on your offer :) .

I truly appretiate the responses and the support.

[Lizquests]

I was baptized when I was an infant. I also did a lot of bad things growing up. Thankfully God has opened my eyes to His truth. I started going back to church and am in the process of learning as much as I can. I go to church, read the Bible on occassion, read other books that help me to understand Christ and God better.

About 2 months ago, I had the strong urge to be Baptized again. What a wonderful experience it was for me. A group from my church went out to the lake and our pastor Baptized whoever wanted to commit their lives to Christ! I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW AWESOME IT WAS AND IS! (Sorry, I get excited about it)

I think that if you feel compelled to do it, you should! When you get that feeling I think that God is trying to talk to ya.