Repentance?

[By Grace]

If I were to steal from someone, that would be a sin, of course, and I would feel compelled to repent in order to restore my relationship with G-d because the sin would be in direct opposition to His commandments. So now that I've seen the biblical holidays and eating kosher and such are also part of His commandments, should I repent of not following those laws in the past? Should I also continue to repent if I don't follow the laws exactly in the future? And if I don't follow the laws exactly, and yet am aware of what the laws instruct, then am I sinning in a willing, rebellious manner that separates me further from G-d?

Sorry if this isn't very clear; it's nearly midnight and I need to get to bed! (Last night I was up THREE times with my baby, which isn't bad if she was just a newborn, but she's SIX months old! :yawn: )

[debi b]

Jill,

What are you really worried about?

[ShirChadash]

At its most basic level, I believe repent means to turn around -- turn from sin, turn from doing things my/my church's/man's way and turn instead to the Way of G-d in a certain aspect of life/faith-walk. I am not sure if that is what you meant by repent. But it seems to me, that embracing G-d's instructions for His children to follow in life and in relationship with Him and other people... as much as you are able to in your personal faith-walk with Him... that is repentance.

That said... my husband and I have asked (and do ask) forgiveness from G-d for our not following and doing something His Way, right before we thank Him for showing us more clearly His Will in His Word... and then we go forward as we are able (nowadays we go forward far more quickly than we did when we were new to MJ and desperately trying to wade through the "junk" we had been taught, in order to discern what G-d's Word REALLY says about things). G-d loves a heart that seeks to know Him and to please Him. Amending our ways to be in line with His is... how we repent. Nu?

[ShirChadash]

Also, I just want to encourage you to bite off small pieces and chew slowly, as Henny has often said here. It's okay to learn slowly, to ponder things in the Word, to come to conviction -- or not -- right away, and if not then to set an issue aside for a while and come back to it as you are growing. You don't, as a mama, expect that your daughter will be today where she will be in 5 years, capability-wise. If she doesn't obey you in certian simple things like putting up her toys when she is done playing, in about 5 years or even 10... then you would consider that disobedience. But you wouldn't consider it disobedience now, at her age (I am trying to remember -- you said she is six mos?)

[visionary]

Zem...you are probably an exellent mom, but you are a wonderful spiritual mom as seen here. Couldn't have said it better myself.

[By Grace]

Jill,

What are you really worried about?
I guess I'm worried that I'm learning too fast for the changes that I can make. Which, I need to learn more, so that I can see the big picture: First of all, I'm excited about it and want to maintain this momentum. But also, my husband is so resistant to change, that I'm trying to get a grasp on where we're headed and what the important things are, so I don't insist on one change, then have to backtrack later. But that means that I am aware of things that need to be changed that we're not ready to change yet. For example, he is VERY resistant to giving up Christmas. I'm trying to be patient, but I wanted to sell all our Christmas decorations at our yard sale a month ago, whereas he still wants to put up the tree this year! (And what gets me is that he never really cared about Christmas or other holiday celebrations until I started talking about not doing them anymore. He always saw it as an unnecessary burden, esp. since his family never did much for these holidays when he was a kid.) So I feel we're doing the wrong thing by celebrating Christmas, but I also have to honor him and where he is in all of this.

So is my continuing to do things that I know are wrong (celebrating traditional holidays, not fully honoring the Sabbath, not eating kosher, etc.) a sin on my part? If so, should I continue to repent every time? I know His grace covers me, but I feel distant from Him when I don't make changes that I think I should make, even though those changes would upset my husband. I guess this is why I have such a hard time understanding the roles of husbands and wives, because I've seen so many times when the wives were RIGHT, and the husbands were the ones not listening to G-d! I know Scripture says for the wife to continue to set the good example, and the husband will come around when he sees the fruit of her example. But there are only so many changes I can make without his consent, KWIM?

Anyway, I'm rambling. I know lots of you are in similar situations. I'm just trying to figure out how accountable G-d holds me for the truth that He reveals to me.

Thanks,

[debi b]

Ok, now I know where you are headed :)

This is of course a difficult path to navigate :pray: . You are NOT alone on this journey. It is not at all unusual for someone to suddenly find meaning in things they never cared about before when they feel threatened in some way.

Do you and your husband read or study together? If you don't maybe you could start. If he could be in on what you are thinking about and find a way to make it his own he would find meaning in it for himself. It would be a good idea to develope a habit of reading scripture together before introducing alot of new thoughts. There are some really good books to get a conversation going.

In the mean time, for you I would really recommend reading Torah. It is broken down to weekly readings and is very helpful to establish new habits. Don't worry if at first it is not really speaking much to you if that is the case. It will in time. What I really appreciate about it is that it is cyclical - you get another shot at it next year. The main thing is to find out what HE says about HIMSELF from HIM.

It is ok to be in a learning phase, to really think things through. Changes begin slowly. Adonai knows your heart. HE is patient :clap:

[Mary_Magdalene]

great post Jill! :)

[By Grace]

Debi, sorry it took me so long to get back to this. We've been out of town for the weekend, and I'm just now getting caught up on the board!

Do you and your husband read or study together? If you don't maybe you could start. If he could be in on what you are thinking about and find a way to make it his own he would find meaning in it for himself. It would be a good idea to develope a habit of reading scripture together before introducing alot of new thoughts. There are some really good books to get a conversation going.
My husband is the kind of guy who does NOT like to have "deep" conversations. Because of my childhood experiences, my mom and sisters and I are all very comfortable with discussing "deep" topics, and I think my DH actually feels a good bit intimidated by it. We're so much more knowledgeable than he is on Scriptural issues, but he's never really thought about it much. Even though he's a very intelligent guy, he doesn't think he could really contribute much to that kind of conversation. Of course, I disagree and think he could contribute a lot. I've told him that, though I enjoy discussing these issues with my mom, etc, I mostly want to talk about it all with him b/c he's my best friend. He's the one I live with and partner with in this family. Recently, he's agreed to "let" me talk about it with him for 7 min each day; he said that's "more than 5 min and less than 10!" :) He thought he could actively listen to me for that amount of time without shutting down. So I've tried to have some material, mostly Scriptures, ready to discuss with him every few days (I didn't want to overwhelm him, especially right now since he's been working a lot of overtime). He occasionally asks questions, but he's not given me much feedback. Basically, I'm just throwing material at him and have no idea what he really thinks about it. I would be thrilled if he would actually start to argue with me about it!

In the mean time, for you I would really recommend reading Torah. It is broken down to weekly readings and is very helpful to establish new habits. Don't worry if at first it is not really speaking much to you if that is the case. It will in time. What I really appreciate about it is that it is cyclical - you get another shot at it next year. The main thing is to find out what HE says about HIMSELF from HIM.

It is ok to be in a learning phase, to really think things through. Changes begin slowly. Adonai knows your heart. HE is patient :clap:
I am doing a lot of Scriptural studying and reading. When I'm getting together my 7 minutes' worth of material :) , I frequently end up spending an hour or more working on it b/c I get sidetracked so easily; I'll go to look up one verse and end up reading 3 chapters, or as I'm turning pages, something will catch my eye before I even get to the verse I was looking for. For the first time in my life, the first 5 books of Scripture are actually exciting to me to read!

And you're right; I am in a learning phase (probably will be for the rest of my life) and G-d knows that. I'm still His child, even if I eat a pork chop at my grandmother's house b/c I don't want to hurt her feelings after she sacrificed from her fixed income to cook for us and feed all of us while we were there this past weekend. She's a very sensitive person, and I was concerned it would just be hurtful and not helpful to "take a stand" on an issue that's not really relevant to salvation. I know G-d knew what was in my heart, that I was just trying to express love to my 82-year-old grandmother who is such a special person in my life. I guess it's the same thing with my DH. If I continue to do things that I feel are contrary to G-d's commandments, yet I do them out of love and respect for my husband, I feel like that's putting the spirit of love ahead of the letter of the law, which is the whole point. It's not like I'm resigning myself to permanent, rebellious behavior without trying to grow in my obedience to His Word. It's just confusing sometimes to know when I should make my stand to obey G-d rather than man, versus when I should obey the commandment to submit to my husband rather than obeying other commandments.

Growing every day...

[Bon]

If I were to steal from someone, that would be a sin, of course, and I would feel compelled to repent in order to restore my relationship with G-d because the sin would be in direct opposition to His commandments. So now that I've seen the biblical holidays and eating kosher and such are also part of His commandments, should I repent of not following those laws in the past? Should I also continue to repent if I don't follow the laws exactly in the future? And if I don't follow the laws exactly, and yet am aware of what the laws instruct, then am I sinning in a willing, rebellious manner that separates me further from G-d?

Sorry if this isn't very clear; it's nearly midnight and I need to get to bed! (Last night I was up THREE times with my baby, which isn't bad if she was just a newborn, but she's SIX months old! :yawn: )

Hi Jill,

I am in a similar place to you, but in a different area on my spiritual path.

I was basically brought up as a Messianic (although we never called it that then) but we never properly kept the feasts.

I now want to keep them and for the past two years I have missed them and felt guilty about it.

My sister is one step ahead of me in that she has started to keep the feasts, but tells me not to worry so much about it as Yahweh (God) knows that I am honestly working towards His will.

Yahweh knows our hearts and our minds and our thoughts.

Just keep heading towards His truth as you are learning about it.
Dont feel hurried to the point of worry as that is not what He wants from you.

You need to eventually let all those around you know where you are headed and what your beliefs are so that they can accommodate your new found beliefs.

Isn't it a wonderful gift, that Yahweh has chosen you, to open your eyes to the truth in His word {{{{{{{{{{{{{{HalleluYAH!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Shalom from Bon :clap:

[ShirChadash]

Bon, I love your posts. You are such an encouragement! :hug: :clap: :pink: