fades away every time

[jgalantine]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself. I have grown up through Calvary Chapel and and feel like I know what it is to be a Christian. I rededicated my life to Jesus again a year ago, I stopped smoking weed and drinking and it was great, but it slowly started to fade until I started smoking and drinking again. Then a couple weeks ago I repented again and asked him back into my life. I seem to get through a couple weeks great, feeling awesome and on fire for God. Now I get the thoughts of smoking again and have been having a couple beers with some buddies I go fishing with. I proclaim to be a Christian, yet I start doing things I shouldn't. I ask for forgiveness daily and try to pray a lot but I still feel like I'm backsliding and I don't want to. Every time in my life after I rededicate my life this same pattern happens. I don't know what to do, I feel like a fake!

[Jayangel81]

I wouldnt go as far as saying your just going through the emotions because it really sounds like you want to get where you need to be.

In truth? The world keeps grabbing you:P It happens alot. The enemy loves to drag us back into the world- lust,drinking smoking and so forth.

What you need to do is do some serious grounding in Gods Word. People also need to learn what is called "Walking in the Spirit"

When we become saved we get the indwelling of the Holy Ghost but what we need is to be filled up. If we walk in the Spirit we wont follow after our flesh. Its a whole different experiance.

How much time do you spend studying Gods Word?
Do you find yourself having a hard time praying?

Theres alot of people on this site that can help you, finding a good christian mentor who is mature in Christ would be great.

Make sure to repent from your sins and ask for forgivness and ask God to fill you up and guide you, ask Him to keep you out of this world. you wont be able to do it on your own, trust me I know from experiance. All its gonna lead to is more falling and complete frustration.

God is with you, be patient and let the Holy Spirit do His work in you. It wont happen right away. Keep the faith that God will finish His work in you, but you need to let Him as well :)

as I said get yourself a good foundation on His Word and stay in prayer :thumbsup:

[jgalantine]

I pray a lot but the one thing I notice more and more is that I get easily distracted by my thoughts and seem to forget that I am praying. Does that sound weird? I only get to go to church every other Sunday because of work, but I keep telling myself that I need to be more involved in my church to stay connected. A little more about me , I sell cars and I am the only one that I know of there that believes in God. So it is hard to stay focused on not doing bad things when everyone around me is. Thanks for your response.

[Jayangel81]

It isnt unusual to get distracted while praying, It happens to me sometimes too;)

You say that none believe in God, this is a good chance to shine that light on your co-workers.

Matthew 14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid.
5-15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house.
5-16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

Consider this a good chance to really shine. It is important to do fellowship. While this is no doubt a good place for edification to be around christians and fellowshipping with them can go a long way.


I pray a lot but the one thing I notice more and more is that I get easily distracted by my thoughts and seem to forget that I am praying. Does that sound weird? I only get to go to church every other Sunday because of work, but I keep telling myself that I need to be more involved in my church to stay connected. A little more about me , I sell cars and I am the only one that I know of there that believes in God. So it is hard to stay focused on not doing bad things when everyone around me is. Thanks for your response.

[suzybeezy]

I have a son about your age who has been caught up in smokin' weed and doing things he really shouldn't. I reason that its a normal teen pressure but still try to counsel him away from it. I try not to be too preachy with him but try a practical approach. I tell him to consider this question "What good can come from this?" Yeah you may have fun, but at what cost to you personally? Will it further you in your career or schooling? Not likely. Will it help you find the woman of your dreams? Not likely. No quality girl wants a stoner. I mean really there's not good that comes from that behavior. If you think about the things in life that you want, a good job, a good life, a good wife, etc. you have to think about what will and will not help you achieve those goals.

[twistedsketch]

There's an obvious pattern to your behavior, and you need to break that pattern. What causes you to stumble?

[jgalantine]

"There's an obvious pattern to your behavior, and you need to break that pattern. What causes you to stumble?"


I feel like I stumble when I hang around at work because I just start adapting back to my old ways whether it be swearing or having a couple beers and also I get a ton of bad ideas. They are just ideas but I don't like having these uncontrolable thoughts running through my mind. I pray for God to keep the thoughts out of my mind. Am I asking for something that cant happen?

[Jayangel81]

Am I asking for something that cant happen?

Matthew 19:26 But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.

God is capable of doing the impossible in us, we need to let Him tho ;)

[twistedsketch]

"There's an obvious pattern to your behavior, and you need to break that pattern. What causes you to stumble?"


I feel like I stumble when I hang around at work because I just start adapting back to my old ways whether it be swearing or having a couple beers and also I get a ton of bad ideas. They are just ideas but I don't like having these uncontrolable thoughts running through my mind. I pray for God to keep the thoughts out of my mind. Am I asking for something that cant happen?

No, you're doing the right thing. You're fighting this. Keep it up and pray for God to change you at work to be a better witness.

What kind of things are you taking in? Do you have Christian friends who are serious about God? Is there a Bible study that you go to on top of church? I ask because you're falling into the habits of the old you again, and that appears to be what you're used to acting like when you're around people, am I right? So you would therefore need to learn how to be clean and constructive around others, and a good way to do that is to hang out with good Christian people around your age who are serious about God. Do things with them, you can also help crowd out the opportunity to do those bad things you don't want to start up again. Nature abhors a vacuum. This translates into the spiritual realm too, you need to fill your heart with what is good or else evil will return to you (Luke 11:24-26). The "empty house" can refer to the person who doesn't have defenses in place. Those defenses are building up the good habits and deeds of the Christian life. Now, God owns you (1 Corinthians 6:20), and He has made you secure (2 Corinthians 1:21-22), so don't panic - rather trust in what God did and what He wants to do with your life, and join Him in that project. Make sense?

[heymikey80]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself. I have grown up through Calvary Chapel and and feel like I know what it is to be a Christian. I rededicated my life to Jesus again a year ago, I stopped smoking weed and drinking and it was great, but it slowly started to fade until I started smoking and drinking again. Then a couple weeks ago I repented again and asked him back into my life. I seem to get through a couple weeks great, feeling awesome and on fire for God. Now I get the thoughts of smoking again and have been having a couple beers with some buddies I go fishing with. I proclaim to be a Christian, yet I start doing things I shouldn't. I ask for forgiveness daily and try to pray a lot but I still feel like I'm backsliding and I don't want to. Every time in my life after I rededicate my life this same pattern happens. I don't know what to do, I feel like a fake!
Yep.

That's what it feels like. Doing this alone. Trying to hide it from Christians. Trying to deal with sin in your life, but not trusting others to know you.

God knows you. He's not simply looking at you -- He's in you. Part of this whole thing is recognizing the cycle, looking at Scripture to see if that cycle is good or bad, and running to God to help deal with that cycle.

If God's handling certain things, they won't seem like you're handling them. And that won't "feel" right -- because it isn't. God's being immensely gracious to us. The only thing we can feel is hugely grateful to Him.

And maybe your church is not ready for your trust. I can't tell that. But it might be worth taking a second look, getting past your original history with them. People grow and mature. Y'can't even judge them based on last year. You'd have to get connected with them. See how they respond -- are they legalistic, horrified, or are they answering, gracious, restoring, redeeming?

Find believers that're like this. Take your time, but confide in them. They'll have advice. But they'll also have firsthand experience.

So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin. There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot. Those who are in the flesh cannot please God. Rom 7:21-8:8

[Angel4Truth]

I'm getting really frustrated with myself. I have grown up through Calvary Chapel and and feel like I know what it is to be a Christian. I rededicated my life to Jesus again a year ago, I stopped smoking weed and drinking and it was great, but it slowly started to fade until I started smoking and drinking again. Then a couple weeks ago I repented again and asked him back into my life. I seem to get through a couple weeks great, feeling awesome and on fire for God. Now I get the thoughts of smoking again and have been having a couple beers with some buddies I go fishing with. I proclaim to be a Christian, yet I start doing things I shouldn't. I ask for forgiveness daily and try to pray a lot but I still feel like I'm backsliding and I don't want to. Every time in my life after I rededicate my life this same pattern happens. I don't know what to do, I feel like a fake!


The Spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. We are like babies when we come to Christ and to mature we need to be fed. Its plus to you that you are concerned about the situation which shows you are sensitive to the sin in your life which means your discomfort is responding to the Spirit of God.

Untill you have allowed yourself to mature and grow in Christ you need to remove yourself from the things that cause you to continue to stumble. Its very important as a new believer to start to become grounded in His word and spend time in prayer.

You need time to develop your new relationship. Would you for example take a new wife and then leave her alone constantly - no fellowship- no time spent learning about her in a deeper intimate way getting to bond and know one another well? This is what is being denied when you do not seek to spend your "honeymoon" with God yet spend it with what you just left.

No relationship like that will flourish. Youll still have a relationship but it wont be going anywhere and it wont grow.

Is it possible to make some new friends at your church? You need to get connected with a brother in Christ - someone who is mature in the faith to help you along. Fellowship with other children of God is also very important in an early walk. Deeper faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God and becoming through prayer more sensitive to the things of God and the sin in our lives so we can have a healthier happier relationship with our Lord.

Now this doesnt mean you still wont from time to time mess up - we all will because we are still flesh. When we are born again - we then have our old nature and our new one. The more we lie down our old one at the cross - the deeper our relationship will become and the closer to God we will get - the still small voice becoming louder and clearer. Like any relationship though it cannot be neglected if its to grow.

God bless you and I hope this gives you something to think about and pray about.

[Mr.Cheese]

are you using these substances as a way of self-medicating unaddressed emotional/mood disorders?

[Nilla]

I don't know if you're going to a church or not but I would encourage you to find a church you can go to and also find some Christians you can hang out with.

Reading the Bible, praying is very good things to do as well. :)

[MoNiCa4316]

don't beat yourself up about struggling and don't get discouraged :hug:we all struggle with sin. Try your best and ask God to help you.
I got the impression from your post that sometimes it's easy for you to resist temptation, but eventually that gets hard and you fall again.. am I right? Maybe the thing to work on is trying to follow God even when you feel sort of distant from Him and not so "on fire" for your faith. btw this is natural and when you feel distant from Him, I know it's painful but don't let that discourage you - God gives us trials to help us grow. We wouldn't ever grow if we constantly felt close to Him, cause then everything would be easy.
The only thing I could suggest is when you find it difficult dealing with temptation, pray LOTS.. avoid any situations that might cause you to stumble.. just really focus on God, regardless of how you feel at the time, try to distract yourself by reading the Bible etc.

You called the thread "fades away every time".. when it "fades", in my opinion that is a test to help you learn how to follow God regardless of feelings, regardless of whether you feel close to Him or severely tempted with sin. Try to rely on Him and not on your own strength, but at the same time try your best and cooperate with what He's doing in you.

God bless :hug::hug: