Baptism-Help!

[pmedic336]

Hi, I am non-denom. My husband was baptized/raised Lutheran. We have always attended a non-denom church. We are planning our future with children. He is being very adamant that the children will be baptized (as infants) Lutheran and will attend only Lutheran schools but that we will continue to attend the non-denom church services. Problem-I don't believe in infant baptism. I believe that you are taught, then believe, then be baptized at an age when you can make that decision. We are having numerous arguements over this. I am not backing down and will not allow the children to be baptized as infants in the Lutheran church and if something is taught that I disagree with in the Lutheran school system, I plan to inform the children otherwise (something he says I shouldn't do so as to avoid confusion). Question- am I being to fanatical? Is there any harm in allowing the baptism (I feel it will be helping to support a false teaching; infant baptism for salvation & forgiveness of sins)? Thanks :cry:

[IisJustMe]

Hi, I am non-denom. My husband was baptized/raised Lutheran. We have always attended a non-denom church. We are planning our future with children. He is being very adamant that the children will be baptized (as infants) Lutheran and will attend only Lutheran schools but that we will continue to attend the non-denom church services. Problem-I don't believe in infant baptism. I believe that you are taught, then believe, then be baptized at an age when you can make that decision. We are having numerous arguements over this. I am not backing down and will not allow the children to be baptized as infants in the Lutheran church and if something is taught that I disagree with in the Lutheran school system, I plan to inform the children otherwise (something he says I shouldn't do so as to avoid confusion). Question- am I being to fanatical? Is there any harm in allowing the baptism (I feel it will be helping to support a false teaching; infant baptism for salvation & forgiveness of sins)? Thanks :cry:I see a lot to be concerned about regarding your family's attendance at an N/D church and now, suddenly, he wants baptism in a Lutheran infant ceremony. If he's so sold out to the Lutheran denomination, why hasn't he heretofore not insisted you attend the Lutheran church? That's kind of hypocritical, isn't it? Who is he really trying to please here, God, or someone a little lower -- maybe mom and dad?

I'm not sure he'll be able to find any Lutheran pastor who will be willing to do such a baptism/christening/whatever for someone who isn't even faithful to attend his church. I think you've got a lot more questions to ask here, starting with "why?" No, you're not being fanatical. He's being a bit inconsistent.

[pastortimothy]

pmedic336,
Hi. My name is Tim. I can certainly understand your frustration in this situation. This is one of those areas that can cause quite a bit of discomfort, not just between people in families, but between entire doctrinal systems.

If you approve, I'd like to first pray that there be peace in your home. These things were never meant to cause contention, more especially between husband and wife.

IisJustMe speaks wisdom; asking why is a good place to start. Maybe you could set some time aside to talk with him about this in a non-confrontational way. You could ask him to explain to you his personal views on what baptism is and what he feels is being accomplished by baptizing them in a Lutheran ceremony.

This must be very difficult for you. I do not envy your position. At the end of the day, you must do what you feel is right. Again, I am more than willing to pray if you would like.

[IamRedeemed]

Excellent post. There isn't anything I could add to this. God bless


I see a lot to be concerned about regarding your family's attendance at an N/D church and now, suddenly, he wants baptism in a Lutheran infant ceremony. If he's so sold out to the Lutheran denomination, why hasn't he heretofore not insisted you attend the Lutheran church? That's kind of hypocritical, isn't it? Who is he really trying to please here, God, or someone a little lower -- maybe mom and dad?

I'm not sure he'll be able to find any Lutheran pastor who will be willing to do such a baptism/christening/whatever for someone who isn't even faithful to attend his church. I think you've got a lot more questions to ask here, starting with "why?" No, you're not being fanatical. He's being a bit inconsistent.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Eh, well you married a Lutheran, and he is now the head of the family, so ultimately he rightfully has the final say especially in spiritual matters. However of course, you can discuss it with him, and try to come to an understanding as to why he requires it to be done that way, but it is his decision. Pray about it, try to let the Lord open the door to his understanding why it is not something necessary, but bringing in the element of frustration and combativeness will never improve the situation. As you submit to him, he is also suppose to submit to the Lord, so it is only by the Lords intervention that such a matter could ever be reconciled. If he does not see any such reason to, than it is his decision and you are held blameless if it truly is a wrong decision. Don’t try to be the leader of spiritual affairs or it will cause him to blame you if discovered they were bad decisions, or he simply may exclude you from counsel if contentions are constantly brought forward against his decisions. My 2 cents, we all play a role I guess.

[pmedic336]

Thank you for all of your thoughts, suggestions and prayers. The situation has calmed down (so far). He states he is willing to read scripture that I feel supports my view (he admits he has no biblical support other than the statement "he and his whole family were baptized" Acts 16:33. But when I pointed out that faith preceded the baptism he was quiet). My pastor has had other families in this same situation and we are going to talk together to try to reach a resolution. Again, thank you.

[IamRedeemed]

Praise the Lord! This sounds very encouraging and it sounds like your husband really does seek to elevate God's Word above any "family traditions" he may hold near. Wonderful news! God bless and thanks so much for the update!


Thank you for all of your thoughts, suggestions and prayers. The situation has calmed down (so far). He states he is willing to read scripture that I feel supports my view (he admits he has no biblical support other than the statement "he and his whole family were baptized" Acts 16:33. But when I pointed out that faith preceded the baptism he was quiet). My pastor has had other families in this same situation and we are going to talk together to try to reach a resolution. Again, thank you.

[IisJustMe]

Thank you for all of your thoughts, suggestions and prayers. The situation has calmed down (so far). He states he is willing to read scripture that I feel supports my view (he admits he has no biblical support other than the statement "he and his whole family were baptized" Acts 16:33. But when I pointed out that faith preceded the baptism he was quiet). My pastor has had other families in this same situation and we are going to talk together to try to reach a resolution. Again, thank you.Great news 'medic. We'll continue to pray for the situation. Good that you two could talk it through and resolve it without hurt feelings. God bless you all.