Christians related to Non Christians

[StogusMaximus]

There have been many threads about Christians not having Christian spouses or parents or friends.

How many new Christians are facing rough times with their nonChristian families?

How are you handeling the situation?

What are your suggestions?

[StogusMaximus]

I posted this in response to a prayer request for help with a nonChristian spouse. I am coping the advice to this thread, as I think it may be helpful.


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My advice for you may seem difficult at first, but it is important. You must focus on your relationship with the Lord first and foremost. You must keep your focus on loving and growing strong in the Lord. Once you have your feet firmly planted and are in a mature relationship with Christ, then you can turn to save your family.

Think of it like the speech they give on the airplane about the oxygen masks. They say if your are traveling with small children to put the mask on yourself first then assist your children with the mask. If you attempt to save your children first, you could pass out from lack of oxygen and end up with your children and yourself dieing. Think of your relationship with your family the same way, you must put on the mask(Jesus Christ) first. Once you are saved and breathing oxygen(Word of God) only then will you be able to assist your family in putting on his mask. If you do it the opposite way, you run the risk of not only losing your family, but your own salvation as well.

[ZiSunka]

Patience is the most important virtue when dealing with unsaved spouse or family. I've been praying for my folks for 14 years, and slowly they are coming around to faith.

[Mandy]

I agree. Patience, prayer, and being a witness, an example are good ways to deal with these types of situations.

[soulsisterclaire]

I agree with the advice given Stogus. Being saved at a young age, I have had many chances to witness to friends/family.

Once while trying to "convert" a friend, I got so wrapped up in him and his non-belief, that I neglected my own relationship with God and I slipped back into my sinful ways. I see my mistake now. I think that once you have told them the Gospel, and they understand, you must then step back and by your example of the way you live, let them see the Truth. Plant the seed and let God do the rest.

And of course, PRAY,PRAY,PRAY for them.

[tuffy]

On the flip side - most of my immediate family are involved in group with cultic tendencies. They have a belief, but it is definitely not orthodox christian.

Anyway, i've found being patient is a must, and I do pray always for them. When it comes to talking with them, i've had my own beliefs tested, and being rooted and grounded in the word is very important. Not so one can preach at someone else, but to know who you are in Christ. This relates to the oxygen mask senario. We must first have things together before diving in to help others. :holy:

[SenseiPiccolo]

Unfortunately, 2/3 of my family (thisincludes extended family) do not know Christ as their Lord and Saviour
:(
:praying:

[heather]

Also, humor works. My husband is not saved, and my pastor said that it is important that I submit to him, as a wife should (not in any way not Biblical, but my husband does not ask that), and that my actions will speak louder than words. Once I was watching the movie on the book of Acts on TBN, and he asked if he could change the channel. I told him that it was ok to change the channel and he said, then I would miss the end of the movie. I told him, "It's ok, I've read the book." He laughed. Sometimes a tiny thing can do more than a lecture. Since my husband has health problems, I constantly remind him that he is in the prayers of me and my friends at church. That way, when he is healed, he will remember that. Hope this helps.

[12volt_man]

I know that when I became a Christian, I faced a lot of opposition from my family. Not that they were opposed to me becoming a Christian, but they were taken aback by my own obnoxiousness about it.

Admittedly, my problems were of my own making. My zeal locked my common sense in a closet for about two years and I completely went off the deep end.

I got rid of all of my mainstream music and books and made sure to show my disgust at people who would have a drink.

Basically, I became the stereotypical characature of a Christian.

I made such an obnoxious jerk of myself that I even turned off other Christians! More than ten years later, I still have brothers and sisters in Christ that I haven't talked to because my behavior, well intentioned as it was, burned those bridges. That I will never again have that relationship with people who I loved so much is one of the great disappointments of my life.

Thank God, my family stood by me. My sister having spent about a year as a teenager in the same boat as me prepared them for it.

If you're a Christian, particularly a new Christian, don't do what I did.

Having fifteen years of walking with Christ behind me, I would do it a lot differently this time around.

The first thing I would do is realize that it's not my job to save these people, it's God's and He will move on their hearts to draw them to Himself as He wills, not as I will. My job is just to be ready when He decides to move, not to move on His behalf.

Don't stick tracts into every available crevice. That's just obnoxious.

Realize that God hasn't called every person to be in the same place you are at that moment. Just because you're riding some spiritual high at the moment, don't expect another person to be there, too, and don't push them to be there if they're not.

Each of us in an individual, loved by God, not targets for evangelism or faceless demographics.

Sorry to ramble but I guess the bottom line is just show grace. Remember that when Jesus met with sinners, He didn't put a lot of rules on them or hold them to unreasonable expectations.

He treated them with respect, dignity, love and, often times, friendship.

I would give anything if I could go back and do that to the people I alienated.

[All4God09]

That's really cool 12 volt man! All of my mother's family is hard core Muslim, and it has been very difficult for me to realize that, although I want to change them, I need to wait until I know God is ready to help me. Let me just say too, that Muslims are not the most open-minded ppl, nor are they the most loving ppl towards Catholics. But if God calls me to change them, I'll be ready and willing...