Parents -- EEK! MAJOR prayer request!

[Matrona]

This Sunday I'm going to go to my first Orthodox wedding.

And I'm bringing my PARENTS along.

This will be their first encounter with Orthodoxy or anything like it. This will be their first time meeting anyone from my parish. They are scared of religious people and church altogether. They are not open-minded. They are not worldly. They are not capable of standing for long periods of time. And when they feel threatened or challenged in any way, they are not very polite.

Needless to say, I'm scared to death. I'm scared my parents might offend the Orthodox contingent, and I'm scared the Orthodox contingent might offend my parents. I'm scared this will turn into World War III. I'm scared the Orthodox haven't taken my warnings about my parents seriously. My parents are seriously scary people when they want to be. I'm not even sure why they agreed to come. I only wanted them to see an Orthodox service.

Most of all, I'm scared that someone who's Orthodox will innocently try to discuss religion, my conversion, or anything to do with either of those with my parents. That is the surest way to light a flamethrower to this powderkeg.

Please, please, please pray... if you never pray for me about anything else, please pray for me about this.

On a very related note, what exactly should I tell my parents about the wedding beforehand? As far as they know, this will be a 'normal' wedding. I know the Orthodox service of Holy Matrimony is quite a bit different from the standard Western thing, but I'm not totally sure how to explain it to them. Any help that anyone can give would be most appreciated. Thanks.

Edit: With me, it's just ME, ME, ME all the time, isn't it?! I forgot to mention the couple. Please pray for them, too. Stupid selfish me. Me should be kicked off a bridge for forgetting them.

[The Prokeimenon!]

Lord have Mercy! :prayer:

[Oblio]

:pray: The Spirit blows where He wills :)

[Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta]

See the "Taverna" thread for my worlds of wisdom.;)

[Rick of Wessex]

Matrona,

I'll be :prayer: for you and your parents, little sister. ;)

Your brother in XC,
Rick

[countrymousenc]

:prayer: for you and your parents, Matrona, and the happy couple. Maybe you could prepare your parents by explaining just the few things that you think may make them uncomfortable if they don't understand. Otherwise, maybe just let them ask questions later?

[Suzannah]

I'm such a moron, I must have missed this yesterday...
Matrona, I will be praying for you!!!! I understand what you are saying...I have relatives like this...I love you, honey-bunny!!! :hug:

:pray:

[Father Rick]

Matrona...

It's now Sunday, and I am praying for you...:prayer:

Pax Christi!

[Matrona]

Hi guys,

Thank you all so much for praying for me. It was a beautiful wedding and the couple seems very happy. They looked so sweet together. Beforehand, I was really worried, because my grandmother's cousin passed away recently, and she was involved with some kind of church cult before she died, and left behind a real phony-looking will that left everything to the cult... :eek: :eek: :eek: and with that awful revelation, for obvious reasons it wouldn't be a good idea for someone to bring up my conversion in front of my parents right now or any time soon.

So needless to say, I was terrified just before the wedding. I prayed, and prayed, and prayed that no one would bring up anything that would upset my parents. There was no way I could warn anyone ahead of time about this, so I went into this on a wing and a prayer, that's for sure. I didn't want to get my parents upset and have them do something that would mess up the wedding, but I didn't want to be forced to lie about my faith, either.

Luckily, everything went really, almost supernaturally well--I mean, I don't think the conversations between my family and the other wedding guests could have gone better if they'd been scripted. A few people looked like they were about to say something that would have gone over the edge but every single time, something interrupted them, just in time! Also, my parents finally got to meet the bride and groom, who are both good friends of mine. They are both really sweet people and it was a lovely little wedding. Both of them are priest's kids so their fathers concelebrated with a third priest who both of them are close to. Somehow, I managed to hold myself together, too, and I didn't cry... barely!

Now, as for my parents' reactions to the wedding itself... they were not happy. The whole bit about standing up the entire time really weirded them out, as did the iconostasis ("Are we not good enough to be allowed to see the altar?") and the lampadas ("That's an awful fire hazard!"). I did manage to get them seats since they both really did need to sit down, but since everyone else was standing, they couldn't see much. I can't fault them for wanting to see, since I could barely see anything myself and I stood the whole time. I guess the couple probably should have rented chairs and placed them in the building so everyone could sit down and see, but what's done is done. Still, I wish my parents hadn't complained so much, or been so cold-heartedly determined not to enjoy it. They put on a pretty good front and didn't embarrass me by telling the blasphemous jokes they'd been throwing back and forth on the way up, but we left the reception very early. I felt terrible for leaving my friends so early on their special day, but my parents wanted to get back on the road, and I wanted to get my parents out of there before my luck ran out. I would have never forgiven myself if I'd let them ruin my friends' big day.

At least I got to hug both of my friends goodbye. I miss them already.

Thank you, everyone, for all your love and prayers.

[Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta]

Praise the Lord! I'm glad to hear there were no big, nasty scenes or anything.:clap: Do you go to a church that has no pews? If so, I can understand all the more why your parents might have "issues" with the service. My parents probably wouldn't step foot in an Orthodox church if they knew there were no pews.:sigh: I'm wondering if my parents will even want to attend my baptism/chrismation, and we have pews. Did your parents go to yours?

[Momzilla]

I'm glad it went as well as it did, Matrona.

[MaRiNa_Orthodox]

Thank God it wasn't that bad Matrona!
I know how you feel. My grandparents are STRONG atheists and believe me its very hard when we go to their house and how they treat us for being Orthodox. When my grandma found out our parents Baptized us(I mean God Baptized us, you know what I mean) they were extremly mad, it made m cry even though I was only 8. then when they heard my mom and dad got married in a church it was even worse...but thank God they chilled down. My grandpa was supposed to be a monk but something happened and he doesn't wanna tell us why, but in last two years since we are in Canada now, I saw some changes on him. He said once to my mom: teach children what to do for Christmas and Slava(the day u praise one Saint of your family, only Serbs and Macedonians have Slava), and teach them about Easter... I think finally he realized that nothing will change our faith and that he should accept us the way we are. Pray to God and I am sure your parents will change. It had to pass 8 years for us to finally talk to my grandparents witout any hate from their side. I think that everything is possible, just believe in Him! By the way, once I even found a little CHURCH CALENDAR in my grandparents house...I wonder why they have it but i was very glad. They even sent us a greeting by mail for the Easter:) thank God!

[OrthodoxyUSA]

Was this at St. Johns of Memphis perhaps.... we had a wedding there Sunday.....

Forgive me....

Paul Sudduth
psudduth@greerlawfirm.com

[Matrona]

Was this at St. Johns of Memphis perhaps.... we had a wedding there Sunday.....
Paul: It wasn't there, but it was in Tennessee, actually... all the way on the other side, around Knoxville. :)

GDE: My home church doesn't have pews, but it does have chairs. (We stand up most of the time, anyway, though.) This wedding was actually at a different church, though, one completely devoid of chairs.

My parents didn't come when I was baptized, but that suited me fine because I didn't want them there at all. I seriously doubt my parents will ever develop more than a white-knuckle, teeth-firmly-clenched tolerance for Orthodoxy. If I'm that lucky. :(

[MariaRegina]

Paul: It wasn't there, but it was in Tennessee, actually... all the way on the other side, around Knoxville. :)

GDE: My home church doesn't have pews, but it does have chairs. (We stand up most of the time, anyway, though.) This wedding was actually at a different church, though, one completely devoid of chairs.

My parents didn't come when I was baptized, but that suited me fine because I didn't want them there at all. I seriously doubt my parents will ever develop more than a white-knuckle, teeth-firmly-clenched tolerance for Orthodoxy. If I'm that lucky. :(

If you have faith, it can move mountains of hatred and bitterness.

[Matrona]

If you have faith, it can move mountains of hatred and bitterness.
That's true. I just hope my weak little faith is strong enough to one day move this mountain. :sigh:

[Dust and Ashes]

Was this at St. Johns of Memphis perhaps.... we had a wedding there Sunday.....

Forgive me....

Paul Sudduth
psudduth@greerlawfirm.comWelcome to TAW, Paul. This is a wonderful group of people. Their love, unity, consistency and godly council is one of the key factors that convinced me to convert to Orthodoxy.

A great big :hug: to you all.