Looking for Advice

[DestinationHome]

I'm hoping that y'all might be able to help me out with some advice. Not sure whether you want the long or the short, just skip down to the last paragraph for the short.

My husband and I were both raised Roman Catholic. We both left before we met. At the time we were married, we were both unchurched. When we decided to go back to church, we had no idea where to go, because we had significant theological issues with the RCC. So, we decided to avoid unbiblical doctrine by going to a church without any doctrine. :o

I'm open to being wrong, though. :sigh: I frequently find out that I am...very. When our oldest daughter was about 18 months old, she began expressing her faith. That ultimately lead to a big :idea: and turn to paedobaptism. We wound up in a Lutheran church.

And we were happy. We had a church with the most wonderful people you would ever in your life want to meet. I wasn't looking for problems. A question came up, though, about what age the church did confirmation and the hippy homeschooler in me came out questioning a set age. By the time I finished reading the history of baptism/confirmation/communion, studied the Scriptures, talked with our Pastor each a few times I couldn't do other than believe in paedocommunion. Even if I didn't want to. Goodbye happy church home. :sigh:

My poor husband is really frustrated with me. Wants to know why I can't just pick a church and stick with it and be satisfied. Although, he agrees with me. If I were smarter, maybe I could have figured this all out from the beginning. I don't know.

But now here we are. No mans land. I don't know the right thing to do or the right way to turn. I'm really leaning towards the Orthodox church. I've tried figuring things out myself and it just doesn't work. Unfortunately, the nearest Orthodox church that our family could attend...we'd like have to leave Saturday night to get there for Sunday morning. Our other option is an Anglican church 20 minutes from our house. Much more practical, but I'm very concerned about the :eek: issues. I feel like its hopeless. What would you do?

[-Kyriaki-]

I am only a catechumen and a young one at that, so I have no advice worth giving to you.

But I can give this: :hug: and tell you that I will pray for you.

[ThePilgrim]

Where do you live? There may be parishes or missions closer to you that you're unaware of.

[Orthosdoxa]

I was going to say that, too - there may be tiny missions nearby that you're unaware of - we may be able to help.

We know a guy in Canada, in a REAL no man's land - the closest parish is in the US, about 5 hours. He just makes the trek once a month or so, less in the winter, and find someone to stay with overnight on Saturday. He just does the best he can.

Oh, and welcome. :wave:

[Lukaris]

Hoping this is helpful & will give a copy of your request to a priest to review & hope to reply ASAP. There may be good responses forthecoming here also. God bless, for now see http://www.goarch.org/en/ourfaith/articles/article7067.asp May I also add an e-mail address of a priest who was ordained & served in our parish (Father Chris) stgeorgekearney@yahoo.com

[DestinationHome]

Where do you live? There may be parishes or missions closer to you that you're unaware of.

I sent you a PM, since I don't want to post where we are on a public board.

[Philothei]

Welcome Destinationhome :) and I do believe that God will guide you ... to his nearest home.

Philothei

[Orthosdoxa]

May I also add an e-mail address of a priest who was ordained & served in our parish (Father Chris) stgeorgekearney@yahoo.com

You go to St. George?! I didn't know that. :) You knew Father Philip, then. He's a living saint, IMO.

[Mary of Bethany]

Hi, and welcome to TAW! :wave:

Have you checked out this site? Put in your zip code or city and it will give you the closest parishes.

http://www.orthodoxyinamerica.org

Mary

[Lukaris]

You go to St. George?! I didn't know that. :) You knew Father Philip, then. He's a living saint, IMO.
No Orthodoxsa I live in Pennsylvania but Fr Chris served in our parish St. Mary's AOC when he attended St. Tikhon's and his lovely wife Anastasia and their baby. His homilies are very engaging and he was assigned to Kearney, NE soon after his completion at St. Tikhon's.

[DestinationHome]

Hi, and welcome to TAW! :wave:

Have you checked out this site? Put in your zip code or city and it will give you the closest parishes.

http://www.orthodoxyinamerica.org

Mary

Thanks! I hadn't seen that. I wish that it had had a solution for me. Closest church in the country still looks to be about 600 miles away. There is a closer one out of the country, but not all members of our family have the legal documents to go there, so that doesn't work.

[Chocolatesa]

:crosseo: :hug:

[Orthosdoxa]

No Orthodoxsa I live in Pennsylvania but Fr Chris served in our parish St. Mary's AOC when he attended St. Tikhon's and his lovely wife Anastasia and their baby. His homilies are very engaging and he was assigned to Kearney, NE soon after his completion at St. Tikhon's.
Ah, ok. :)

[Orthosdoxa]

600 miles??!?! Wow!!!

Does that website show monasteries and such, too? I'm flabbergasted that there's nothing closer.

[Macarius]

Welcome to TAW!

There are two ways to answer this question. One is the PC and practical answer, the other is the uncompromising answer. I'll offer both but emphasize the second one.

You could certainly justify, for the sake of loving your family, going to the closer church. In particular if it is a conservative anglican church. Theologically, the conservative anglicans tend to be pretty good.

However, if you want to find a church that practices paedobaptism, chrismation/confirmation, AND eucharist - if you are honestly convicted that this is the Truth of Christ - then you're headed for the Orthodox Church. We are the only church that can claim apostolic succession which does this.

So it depends on your emphasis on truth. For me, personally, since you asked what I would do, truth is the single most important reason for me to attend a church. I would try to make the trip every season - for major church holidays and such - and get a hold of some reader services I could do at home on a daily or weekly basis. I would then contact the priest to get recieved into the catechumenate, and eventually be recieved into the Church once he and I deemed it appropriate.

Then I'd contact the bishop to get an ordained reader (or have one ordained in the town - perhaps your husband?). Then you can start holding real readers services at some local public facility. Catholic and Anglican Churches are often very willing to allow young Orthodox missions a space if it doesn't interfere with their schedule. There's also some money available from the dioceses for new missions (I know the OCA does this, I assume the others do as well) if rent is an issue.

If you're the only Orthodox Church in 600 miles, my guess is you see some folks come out of the woodworks to join you. A small group of 20 or so people is all it really takes to get a mission priest if you're in an underserved area (which it sounds like you are). Then you start to grow, and tithes start to come in, and soon there's a full blown parish in your area.

All the while you're getting Eucharist and Confession when you can from the priest 600 miles away.

To me, even if its only 4 times a year - four times a year within the Truth is worth infinitely more than every week without the Truth. But that's me. And I'm nutters. It certainly is a long distance and a lot of work.

But you asked... so I figured I'd oblige with my insanity.

My prayers go out to you and your family. May God guide you in His will to the church He wants you to join.

In Christ,
Macarius

[Orthosdoxa]

It's not insanity, Macarius. It's the best answer so far on the thread.

[Matrona]

Thanks! I hadn't seen that. I wish that it had had a solution for me. Closest church in the country still looks to be about 600 miles away. There is a closer one out of the country, but not all members of our family have the legal documents to go there, so that doesn't work.

Orthodoxyinamerica is a great site but it does not list everything, and sometimes the information is out of date.

Also, if you're looking for missions close to a border, make sure you switch to the right country. I was poking around for missions in the north of Canada (I guessed that might be where you live) and found a little mission in Whitehorse, YT. (It is the only mission in the Canadian territories, so it's kind of special. :) ) But then I tried looking in Alaska and was shocked that it didn't list anything, even though I know for a fact that there are several. It was only because I had forgotten to click on "US" first. :doh:

If you want, you could try emailing the jurisdictions over your area and ask if they have any plans for missions closer than that 600 miles. For instance, if you do happen to be in Canada, you will want to look at the Greek Metropolis of Toronto (http://gocanada.org/), the OCA Archdiocese of Canada (http://www.archdiocese.ca/home.htm), and the Antiochian Diocese of Ottawa (http://www.antiochian.org/canam).

I'm sure it's frustrating not to have an Orthodox church close enough, but we have representation in places as far-flung as Antarctica.... we'll get to your neck of the woods soon! ;)

[MariaRegina]

There have been some inquirers who have helped to start an Orthodox Church in their neck of the woods.

If you are near any Antiochian, Serbian, Greek, or OCA churches, all these churches are missionaries at heart. After all, America is still mission territory.

However, I think the Antiochians are the most organized and they probably have the most missions.

The OCMC also is starting missions worldwide. Try ocmc.org

[zhilan]

If you are really serious about Orthodoxy and wanting to get an Orthodox church in your area, PM me. The guy who founded OCMC (and IOCC) goes to my old church and I could probably get you in contact with him. He's a big wig in the Antiochian Orthodox church, and could probably make things happen, or at least put you into contact with the right people.

[Bushmaster78FS]

Unfortunately, the nearest Orthodox church that our family could attend...we'd like have to leave Saturday night to get there for Sunday morning. Our other option is an Anglican church 20 minutes from our house. Much more practical, but I'm very concerned about the :eek: issues. I feel like its hopeless. What would you do?

Please, my advice, don't make the distance an issue, go there, if that is the only location, once a month, but go there. When I was a cathecumen, I had to travel 2 hours by train to Seoul, Korea for church. We did go every other week or once a month, but we did go. Unlike my friend who was with me and converted into Catholicism, blaming that Orthodox Church was too far away. How lame is that?

[DestinationHome]

Welcome to TAW!
To me, even if its only 4 times a year - four times a year within the Truth is worth infinitely more than every week without the Truth. But that's me. And I'm nutters. It certainly is a long distance and a lot of work.

But you asked... so I figured I'd oblige with my insanity.


That was really very helpful. Very. Sanity and I have never been close personal friends anyway. But between your post, MariaRegina and zhilan it did give me a place to start. I sent an e-mail to the priest at the church nearest us to see if their might be any plans for a future mission somewhere in our state. Hopefully it will at least get communication going. Never know with e-mail...might actually have to call, but I'm, uh, scared of the phone so I'll give e-mail a shot first.

Thank you all!

[zhilan]

That was really very helpful. Very. Sanity and I have never been close personal friends anyway. But between your post, MariaRegina and zhilan it did give me a place to start. I sent an e-mail to the priest at the church nearest us to see if their might be any plans for a future mission somewhere in our state. Hopefully it will at least get communication going. Never know with e-mail...might actually have to call, but I'm, uh, scared of the phone so I'll give e-mail a shot first.

Thank you all!
Yeah, haha, some priests are very hip to technology, and others require calling. My wonderful priest never got back to me when I first tried to contact him about Orthodoxy because someone had forwarded him the email and he couldn't figure out how to reply. =)

[MariaRegina]

emails have not worked for me when I try to contact priests.

Some of them end up in the junk file, especially if I am sending to an AOL user. I must use my college account as AOL does not accept hotpop and others.

One of my college professors tried to send his class an important email through his personal account when the college site was down. Almost no one received it because of the junk file.

[MsDahl]

Welcome to TAW :)

I agree with Macarius' excellent advice. I really think that you, Macarius, should consider writing a book to explain Orthodoxy in terms anyone and everyone could understand!

[ReadingForOrders]

Still praying for you.

[Macarius]

That was really very helpful. Very. Sanity and I have never been close personal friends anyway. But between your post, MariaRegina and zhilan it did give me a place to start. I sent an e-mail to the priest at the church nearest us to see if their might be any plans for a future mission somewhere in our state. Hopefully it will at least get communication going. Never know with e-mail...might actually have to call, but I'm, uh, scared of the phone so I'll give e-mail a shot first.

Thank you all!

I hope the email works! My prayers are with you. I trust God to put you exactly where He wants you. He's good at that. Now if I could just figure out how to stop getting in His way (or trying... He has a way of doing His will despite me - for which I am thankful).

I'm glad we've been able to help you. It is for people like you that I keep coming back here. Your sincerity and pursuit of God (that you'd even consider the 600 mile trip) is inspiring. May God bless and have mercy on us both!

As for...


I really think that you, Macarius, should consider writing a book to explain Orthodoxy in terms anyone and everyone could understand!


There's a lot of those out there already which are quite good. I'm not sure I'd be able to add much. Most of what I do is just echo what others have said. I'm not even a reader - just a layman. I don't have anything higher than a B.A. Eventually I'd like a MA - I'm pursuing one in teaching at the moment, though I'd also like to get an Mdiv and MAYBE a PhD. We'll see what God has in store.

I suppose I'd write a book if my spiritual father wanted me to. Otherwise, I fear it would be an exerecise in pride. It is probably more spiritual healthy, at this point, to be reading the good writing of others who are more spiritually advanced than me then to try and echo their sentiments and call them my own.

What I have begun to do is collect my posts here for keeping (the one's I like, anyway). I'm up to about 80 pages of material from that alone. And that's unorganized, without transitions and such. The II Tim 3:16-17 dialogue alone had 40 pages between me and DRA. I'd love to organize that into a plato-style dialogue. Then, I'd submit to my SF for correction. IF he wanted it to go further, then it could. I'd just excited to have him give me feedback on all the stuff I spew out. I could use some remedial theology from him. Last time I got too confident he, less than subtly (though completely out of love and quite gently) reminded me of how little I know. I love that man.

But I thank you for the complement. It is appreciated.

In Christ,
Macarius

[ReadingForOrders]

Clark Carlton does a fair job although I think he may be wrong on a point or two.

Tom

[MsDahl]

I'm not even a reader - just a layman.

Even more of a reason why it would be beneficial, sometimes it would be great to read a book on Orthodoxy written by the layman for the layman (of course under the direction of a SF).

What I have begun to do is collect my posts here for keeping (the one's I like, anyway).

I was just about to suggest that to you!! LOL Well, good that you do that, you never know where God may lead you one day :)

[DestinationHome]

:swoon:Oh....oh, oh. Please keep praying. There is a possibility of a mission about 20 miles from us if there is interest.

Where's the "I can't breathe" emoticon?

[fuerein]

:swoon:Oh....oh, oh. Please keep praying. There is a possibility of a mission about 20 miles from us if there is interest.

Where's the "I can't breathe" emoticon?

DestinationHome. I pray that the mission comes to fruition. :crosseo:

[Macarius]

:swoon:Oh....oh, oh. Please keep praying. There is a possibility of a mission about 20 miles from us if there is interest.

Where's the "I can't breathe" emoticon?
That's marvelous! My prayers are with you. We must pray that God's will is done, whatever that will may be.

[Orthosdoxa]

That sounds wonderful!! Do you know any details about it??

[MariaRegina]

:swoon:Oh....oh, oh. Please keep praying. There is a possibility of a mission about 20 miles from us if there is interest.

Where's the "I can't breathe" emoticon?

My prayers.

Sometimes hiring a speaker like Father Peter Gilquist and putting out mailers can draw more potential members.

[zhilan]

Wow that's so exciting! That would be so wonderful for you!

Be persistent!! Orthodox people are slow. ;D

[cassc]

I'll add my prayers into the bunch!! I have found Orthodox Churches and some very surprizing places around the world. My advice, as worthless as it is, is to keep learning about Orthodoxy and pray to the Lord that His will be done.