Will be visiting an Orthodox church, question.

[Akathist]

I plan to visit a local orthodox church this Sunday. I have read a bit about what to expect (A writer on line's article "The 12 things I wish I knew...")

But I wonder about dress code for women.

Do I need to wear a skirt or can I wear dress pants?

Should I take a scarf to cover my head?

Anything else along these lines would be helpful....

Oh... yes, do I stay for the whole service or leave before everyone takes communion. (I already know not to take communion.)

[Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta]

I plan to visit a local orthodox church this Sunday. I have read a bit about what to expect (A writer on line's article "The 12 things I wish I knew...")

But I wonder about dress code for women.

Do I need to wear a skirt or can I wear dress pants?

Should I take a scarf to cover my head?

Anything else along these lines would be helpful....

Oh... yes, do I stay for the whole service or leave before everyone takes communion. (I already know not to take communion.)
Well, as far as dress code goes, it varies from parish to parish. Try not to stress out over this. Being that you are a visitor, I don't think anyone will look down on you if you wear something that's not the standard. To be on the safe side, and if your wardrobe allows it, I would opt for a skirt instead of pants (provided the skirt is a conservative length). As far as covering your head, this also varies widely amongst parishes. Again, since this is your first visit, I wouldn't worry about it. People will not be offended if you don't wear one. Most parishes have some women who do wear them and some who don't. I've recently decided I want to start doing this, even though most women at the parish I've been attending do not.

As far as the prayer before Communion, just listen to the prayer. If the "Catechumen's depart" is said in the prayer, then you should step out until the end of services when announcements and veneration of the Cross takes place. If you don't hear "Catechumen's depart", then you may stay. If you are comfortable venerating icons, go ahead, but don't do it if you're not. Most people (at least me, anyway) attend Liturgy for a while before getting brave enough to do it. Be sure to hang around for coffee hour afterwards and introduce yourself to the priest.:priest:

P.S. What is the parish you'll be attending? As long as it's not Old Believer Rite, what I said above should hold true. Of course, I am a newbie, so I am always open to correction.

[Oblio]

Welcome to TAW thorny :)


As far as the prayer before Communion, just listen to the prayer. If the "Catechumen's depart" is said in the prayer, then you should step out until the end of services when announcements and veneration of the Cross takes place. If you don't hear "Catechumen's depart", then you may stay.


While many jurisdictions and diocese leave this part of the service in, it usually does not mean that you are to leave, but is left in for completeness. There is a thread elsewhere in TAW that discusses this.

[katherine2001]

Actually, it has been my experience that people are not usually expected to leave when the "Catechumens depart" prayer comes up (at least not in any parish I have attended regularly or even visited.) You may want to ask someone when you get there what the policy in that parish is. I don't believe most parishes in the Orthodox Church in America (OCA), the Greek, Antiochian, or Serbian Orthodox would usually expect people to actually leave that point.

As far as clothing, women usually wear skirts or dresses (at least knee length), though some wear nice pants (I wear nice pants to vespers, but I usually wear a dress or skirt to liturgy). It depends on the parish. As far as headcoverings, that depends on the parish. In most churches I've been in, that is something left up to the individual woman and her priest. As Elizaveta said, some women wear them and some don't.

The only thing you can't do is take communion. You are free to light a candle, venerate the icons, or cross yourself, or go up and kiss the cross at the end of the liturgy. However, don't feel compelled to do these things if you aren't comfortable with them. I was a Baptist prior to my conversion, so it took me awhile before I could venerate the icons. I was able to kiss my icons at home, but it took a couple of more months before I was ready to go up and kiss them in church. Please stay for coffee hour after the service, though during fasting periods, the food can be a little boring, as we aren't supposed to eat meat or dairy during those periods. Also, definitely take an opportunity to talk to the priest after the service. He would be happy to answer any questions or explain things to you (the parishioners would probably be happy to do so also). Also, many churches have inquirer's classes to teach the basics of the faith without any commitment to converting.

[ufonium2]

See the big thread we just had on "Catechumens depart!"

Even if it is said, there are hardly any churches where they actually expect folks to leave. Just to be on the safe side, you might want to ask someone beforehand. Especially if it's a small church, people you meet might outright ask if you are Orthodox. (This happened to me and really freaked me out.) They aren't being snobby or offensive, they just want to know so they can help you and answer questions like the ones you're concerned with.

I would wear a skirt if you've got a longish one, or pants if you don't. It's more of a modesty issue than anything. When I go to new churches I will generally put a bandana in my purse. If I get there and everyone else is wearing a scarf, I put it on. I don't wear one at my church, but it's never good to feel like you are sticking out.

Above all, don't worry. There's nothing you can do that will offend anyone (unless you are actively setting out to do so.) See the thread we've got going called "church in town" to read about some of the bonehead things we all did on our first visit to an Orthodox church ;)

[Basileus]

I plan to visit a local orthodox church this Sunday. I have read a bit about what to expect (A writer on line's article "The 12 things I wish I knew...")

But I wonder about dress code for women.

Do I need to wear a skirt or can I wear dress pants?

Should I take a scarf to cover my head?

Anything else along these lines would be helpful....

Oh... yes, do I stay for the whole service or leave before everyone takes communion. (I already know not to take communion.)As others have said it depends on the jurisdiction. This is what goes for my OCA Church (St. Stephen's Cathedral Phila, PA) in regards for your questions.

1. Most women wear longish skirts although some have been getting shorter and Fr. Daniel has been mentioning this in our church bulletin :mad:. There are a few that wear pants and even a couple that were sneakers!!!

2. Most women don't "scarf up" unless they go up for Communion.

3. Most visitors won't Cross themselves, Venerate an Icon, light a candle, or Venerate the Cross at the end of the service until around the third visit or so.

4. Usually someone will give a visitor a piece of bread from the large bowel in front during Communion as they walk around as a sign of welcome. We have 150 to 200 or so each week and visitors are always spotted and welcomed like this.

5. If you don't feel comfortable doing the coffee thing the first time (it can be nervous meeting new people) be sure to sign the church guest book. I know our Priest always looks there after the service and usually calls the visitors or sends them some pamplets.

6) In the OCA I know no one departs at the Catechumen thing. It is just a hold over thing from 1200 years ago. We know the Orthodox won't change anything in the service ;) even though we don't actually do it anymore.

I hope this helps. Oh...Make sure you do the English service thing!!!

[Reader Nilus]

Wear what you wear, and don't worry about it, there is no need to. You can stay for the whole service if you want, and stay for the coffee hour to meet the folks. We are very friendly.
Jeff the Finn

[The Prokeimenon!]

Afterwards, if you're too shy to approach people, stand there and try to look confused. Within seconds, someone will take you under their wing, drag you into the hall for coffee hour, and introduce you to tons of people.

Hey, it worked for me when I was a new visitor! ;)

Katherine

[Photini]

Afterwards, if you're too shy to approach people, stand there and try to look confused.
LoL!! Worked for me too!

[Grand_Duchess-Elizaveta]

LoL!! Worked for me too!
Hey, it worked for me, too, only I didn't have to *try* to look confused!;)

[Akathist]

Thanks. I was especially concerned about the skirt issue. I am heavy set and I know that it will be awkward to follow along with everything and keep modest at the same time. I only have "longish" skirts as I always dress modestly (have my entire life). But my dress pants would be more comfortable. I haven't decided ... I might go with the dress pants on and if someone tells me I can't stay because of that, then the next time I go I will wear a skirt.

I read that at this church the rite of pentance (or is it just called confession?) is before and after the service. But I plan to try to greet the paster anyway. I want to set up a time to meet with him to talk.

This is a tiny church in the country outside this small city in South Central Michigan. I drove there today and the parking lot might hold 20 cars at most. I have lived here for years and never knew it existed except for my husband mentioning it. But I was sick the day he went to visit and later assumed he had been mistaken and went to a Catholic (Roman) church because I couldn't find this one.

I want to meet with the Priest so I will stay after for sure. Thanks for all the advice.

Now I need to practice prostrating... I am not sure I will be able to get up off the floor. (I am not so young anymore.)

[Oblio]

I read that at this church the rite of pentance (or is it just called confession?) is before and after the service. But I plan to try to greet the paster anyway. I want to set up a time to meet with him to talk.


Confession is usually prior to the service or the evening before at Vespers. The priest and the rest of those directly involved in the service are usually quite busy beforehand, though you might hava a minute or two to chat with the priest before the service.


Now I need to practice prostrating... I am not sure I will be able to get up off the floor. (I am not so young anymore.)


:) We do what we can and are never legalistic in this regard. I've seen pious Orthodox that could not prostrate simply kneel at the time to do so. Our prostrations differ from what you might have seen in Catholic churches and closely resemble Moslem prostrations. This is of course because they took the praxis from Eastern Christianity along with daily cycles of prayers and our church architecture. Finally, there are usually no prostrations on the weekends as these are 'feast days' :)