New evidence surrounding the death of Jesus

[willydoit]

New evidence surrounding the death of Jesus suggests he did not die on the cross, instead it has been discovered that he died from having an unusually large amount of semen injected into his anus by dozens of black men. He, after having so much semen pumped into his anus, eventually got what doctors call semenotosis or "semen on the brain", in fact autopsy results have shown that his stool contained almost 75% semen.
I hope this clears things up a bit.