I'm sort..of...conflicted...?

[Marycita]

I have no idea if that's the right word for what I am right now..:P...so forgive me if it's not ...ha..

My sister's husband..has, in the past 6 years, become one of the people I most look up to in life...He has been through so much, and he is a very wise person and has helped me tons...in some ways he became the closest thing to the type of father figure I have always wanted,( and had in my brother really, until 2005)....

but now I'm like...heart broken I guess...because...I'm completely let down by him...

I won't go into the story of why - you have more important things to do than to read my babble ..or more of it anyway :P....

but I just found out about some stuff yesterday, and I was the last to know (as usual...my family protects me from everything :P)...

but now I'm just completely stunned...I'm finding it difficult to be around him and my sister, or anyone right now..because I'm just so angry and upset and that makes me cranky..and I tend to snap at people...

and he and my sister don't know I know about it ... and the biggest stuff with all this apparently happened before Christmas..so I don't want to bring it all up and make a big thing...but I'm going nuts..

And my brother in law has become completely wrapped up in his religion (he's a Jehovah's Witness - which until recently, I never really thought that he even seemed like one) - which makes me even more surprised that all this happened...

Part of me wants to confront him, but what on earth I would say...I have no idea...so that could just be my anger talking...

Then part of me is wondering if the reason he is throwing himself so far into this religion is because of what happened, and maybe he's already repented and what have you...

and none of this is making sense... sorry...

I'm just really angry, frustrated, and BAH..

and I'm trying to gie him the benefit of the doubt here, and just forgive him..but I've always had this issue with forgiving people if they don't realize they did somethign wrong or if they haven't asked for forgiveness...but I don't know if that's always fair..

bah..and I think I'm mad at my sister too :doh:...

I've never really been one to be angry, I mean, I get mad like everyone else..but somehow this is different...:doh:...I don't know what to do...bah...

if you actually read all that...thank you for reading my craziness

[cristianna]

Mary I know you have a lot on your plate spiritually, emotionally and physically between home, college, life in general, friends, and family.

But I would first start with your feelings about them always trying to protect you. What hurts the most? Knowing the truth and wading through it along with everyone else? Or always being last to know and having to deal with the emotions on your own after everyone has already progressed?

If it's not that big of a deal to you, then definitely dismiss it, but if it bothers you, you have every right to speak up for yourself.

As far as how to handle it... definitely go to God first.

Forgiveness can be a very tough issue. If you don't have it in you to make an effort to do it, ask God to help you.

[Marycita]

hmm..I'd say of course I have a right to be angry..but that might only be my anger talking...

but honestly, part of the reason I am..is because I'm angry that I'm angry..because I don't know if I even should be...if that makes any sense..:doh:

maybe I don't have a right to be ...but I still feel angry :sigh:

sorry..

[Marycita]

hmm..I'd say of course I have a right to be angry..but that might only be my anger talking...

but honestly, part of the reason I am..is because I'm angry that I'm angry..because I don't know if I even should be...if that makes any sense..:doh:

maybe I don't have a right to be ...but I still feel angry :sigh:

sorry..

[Redheadedstepchild]

Mary, you just found out this stuff yesterday, right? Allow yourself some time to process things, which may include being angry. It's ok to be angry. Pray about it. Maybe take a break from talking/visiting with them until you've had a chance to sort things out a bit. :)

[Marycita]

Mary I know you have a lot on your plate spiritually, emotionally and physically between home, college, life in general, friends, and family.

But I would first start with your feelings about them always trying to protect you. What hurts the most? Knowing the truth and wading through it along with everyone else? Or always being last to know and having to deal with the emotions on your own after everyone has already progressed?

oh my goodness..that's the perfect way to word it that's exactly how I feel..and most of the time, I try not to let anything bother me, because everyone else is over it ..and it doesn't matter really anymore...

If it's not that big of a deal to you, then definitely dismiss it, but if it bothers you, you have every right to speak up for yourself.

I don't really know how to do that honestly...I mean, even several of my siblings constantly say how it's time to let me grow up and all that...but then I'm still the last to know about things and they still treat me like I'm the five year old I was when our parents got divorced...it's frustrating being the youngest sometimes :P...

^_^ and then...sometimes they go on and on about how I need to grow up...but it's just funny to me, because it's hard to grow up when no one really lets you... but that's a tangent :P

Mary, you just found out this stuff yesterday, right? Allow yourself some time to process things, which may include being angry. It's ok to be angry. Pray about it. Maybe take a break from talking/visiting with them until you've had a chance to sort things out a bit. :)

you're right...thank you :) time is good :P


though...I'm supposed to ride with my sister to the girls' night all our cousins are having tonight... I'm trying to cool down before then...

it's so strange..I've never been angry like this before...I feel like yelling at someone :doh: ugh....

[mont974x4]

It's always hard to find out someone is human and they make mistakes, sometimes horrible mistakes, when we have built an image of them in our minds This is a dangerous thing because no one can live up to the full expectations we place on people.


It's OK to be angry. Just be angry without sinning.


However, ask yourself if you have a right to be angry. Are you angry because you were the last to know?
Are you angry because you yourself were wronged?
Are you angry because he didn't live up to your standards? Even though he probably had no idea of how high your standards/expectations were?


The one and only person who will never let us down is Christ. He is the one who will fullfil our every need.


While we are to hold brothers and sisters in Christ accountable to biblical standards we must do so knowing that we all fail.

[cristianna]

It's always hard to find out someone is human and they make mistakes, sometimes horrible mistakes, when we have built an image of them in our minds This is a dangerous thing because no one can live up to the full expectations we place on people.


It's OK to be angry. Just be angry without sinning.


However, ask yourself if you have a right to be angry. Are you angry because you were the last to know?
Are you angry because you yourself were wronged?
Are you angry because he didn't live up to your standards? Even though he probably had no idea of how high your standards/expectations were?


The one and only person who will never let us down is Christ. He is the one who will fullfil our every need.


While we are to hold brothers and sisters in Christ accountable to biblical standards we must do so knowing that we all fail.

Very well said Mont! (And it's nice to see you again!)

[cristianna]

How are you coping now Mary?

[Marycita]

How are you coping now Mary?
:sigh: I don't know

I'm still really upset about it, not as heatingly angry as I was..but still utterly upset..and a lot of me is saying that I need to do something about it..

what that something is though..who knows :doh:

[cristianna]

Take your time and sort it out. Pray. Unleash everything to God.

:prayer:

[Marycita]

Take your time and sort it out. Pray. Unleash everything to God.

:prayer:
:) I shall..thank you