How do you know sometimes?

[dmhforJesus]

Apologizing ahead of time for the length......

I would like to know how other fundamentalists feel about how to know when God answers prayer vs. what we want or feel? I have a problem I have been praying about and personally have very mixed feelings about how I think it should be handled. Okay I should probably give a little background.....I have been dating the same guy off and on for 7 years ( I know - who dates for 7 years :scratch: ) anyway - I have been a Christian since I was very young although since I have been dating him ( a non-Christian ) I have not led a Christian life. In December his father passed away....and he supposedly got saved (I will explain supposedly) About a year ago his very wild (at the time) younger brother got saved and is now attending Bible college because he feels he has been called to preach (this I believe - this man's life is proof of the re-birth - he is truly a CHANGED man) Anyway back to the boyfriend.....he says he got saved at his fathers funeral however I only found out because other people kept coming up & congratulating him (I had no idea at the time why this was happening and had to ask him later what it was about) I AM NOT judging him however I do see that when he is in church and around his family his words and actions are ALOT different than when he is away from them and church (at times he is even lying to them about how his new found life is going) Its like he is putting on a show for them trying to convince them that he is saved (idk for sure) My problem is I am praying for God to show me what direction to go in with this man and I am totally confused......in all my Christian life if I have prayed about something I am pretty clear on what God wants me to do...in this situation I think I could stay with him (probably with lots of fighting and distance) or we could go our separate ways (although I know I would miss some things and have a hard time getting thru it) I am so confused about my own feelings that I am not sure if I am able to see clearly what God wants me to see. Do you believe that other people can pray for answers on your behalf? I forgot to mention that I have rededicated my life to Jesus in a HUGE way - I have turned everything over to him and want his will in my life no matter what it is......Please help.....I believe in intercessory prayer but don't know if other people can actually get answers for you????? :confused:

Thank you,
Nita

sorry this was so long

[shrewdsnake]

After 7 years you should have some idea about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Do you think he will be a good husband and spiritual leader for your family? Do you think he will be a good father and raise your children in faith? If not you may want to take a break and see what happens. If he is to be the one God has chosen for you it will happen.

[dmhforJesus]

After 7 years you should have some idea about whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Do you think he will be a good husband and spiritual leader for your family? Do you think he will be a good father and raise your children in faith? If not you may want to take a break and see what happens. If he is to be the one God has chosen for you it will happen.
well thats part of the problem - he hasnt been a Christian for 7 years so I only have a couple of months to go on.......without being judgemental.......as of yet I have not seen any changes that are all that impressive except for the showy ones in front of church friends and family. I have very strong fundamentalist beliefs in that I believe the WHOLE BIBLE and want to live by it down to the word to the best of my ability (plus some) I dont believe in half truths or little white lies, justifying personal misdeeds by other peoples action etc etc etc.

We have literrally had to force this thing to work for seven years and I am unsure if its because we weren't where we should be with God or if its because we just shouldn't be together......I do love him but honestly there aren't alot of things I like about him sometimes....we are very different and tend to see things very differently ALL THE TIME.

Thanks for your input - did you have an opinion or some bible verses about the prayer question?

[JSGuitarist]

Why were you dating a non-Christian? That would explain the majority of your seven-year confusion.

I don't know, it sounds pretty cut-and-dry... you have to force everything to work, your beliefs are opposite... you'd have a very hard time following after someone like that. You do see his fruits laid out before you. We know a good tree can't bear bad fruit, and a bad tree can't bear good fruit. How's it sound to you?

[dmhforJesus]

can you stay and chat about this for a minute?

[dmhforJesus]

Why were you dating a non-Christian? That would explain the majority of your seven-year confusion.

I don't know, it sounds pretty cut-and-dry... you have to force everything to work, your beliefs are opposite... you'd have a very hard time following after someone like that. You do see his fruits laid out before you. We know a good tree can't bear bad fruit, and a bad tree can't bear good fruit. How's it sound to you?
I am so glad you are Pentecostal as well - I was raised Pentecostal however have been attending this baptist church with him because that is where he will go

[dmhforJesus]

I totally agree with everything you said JS the only thing I am doubting is that if God has saved him - will I be running out before God has a chance to work on him and potentially miss out. I am so confused - because a bigger part of me wants to be away from him (my gut tells me that he will hinder my desire to stay faithful to God for the remainder of my life) but another part of me keeps saying that maybe I should be trying harder to be a better role model and let him see Christ through me more. I have been definitively on the right track for months now but I see him being like a teeter-totter and honestly that doesn't set well with my sould at all.

[JSGuitarist]

I think being a Christian model for him will be too hard in a relationship. Considering that he's a new Christian, and from what you tell me, he doesn't sound like a good pick. Maybe it is scary leaving him because you are not sure that you are making the right choice, but I don't think you have much to gain from it either. There's the risk of suffering in your relationship with Christ, which no man is worth. I really don't think you were ever supposed to be dating him, since the Bible says not to be yoked equally with an unbeliever, which is just what a relationship does.

I do believe too that it is actually necessary for Christians to exercise judgment, I read it in one of Paul's letters but I can't remember which one. Those on the outside (such as the unsaved), don't worry, but your boyfriend is accountable to you to hold up a Christian standard. If he wants to be your husband, he has to be a leader you can respect. To do so isn't holding too high of a standard; you're only asking for what you need. I am sorry that this is hard for you, though this does have a lot of red flags.

PS--Glad to meet another pentecostal too :)

[desmalia]

I think being a Christian model for him will be too hard in a relationship. Considering that he's a new Christian, and from what you tell me, he doesn't sound like a good pick. Maybe it is scary leaving him because you are not sure that you are making the right choice, but I don't think you have much to gain from it either. There's the risk of suffering in your relationship with Christ, which no man is worth. I really don't think you were ever supposed to be dating him, since the Bible says not to be yoked equally with an unbeliever, which is just what a relationship does.

I do believe too that it is actually necessary for Christians to exercise judgment, I read it in one of Paul's letters but I can't remember which one. Those on the outside (such as the unsaved), don't worry, but your boyfriend is accountable to you to hold up a Christian standard. If he wants to be your husband, he has to be a leader you can respect. To do so isn't holding too high of a standard; you're only asking for what you need. I am sorry that this is hard for you, though this does have a lot of red flags.

PS--Glad to meet another pentecostal too :)
JS has some really excellent points. :thumbsup:

When seeking an answer to prayer the absolute first thing we must do is look to the Bible for answers. Consider the relationship you're in. You already know you've been disobedient by dating an unbeliever. I'm not saying that's enough reason to walk away at this point, especially if he is now saved. Look at the other areas of your relationship. Are you living together? Sleeping together? Participating in any other clearly sinful activities? (Note: I'm not asking you to share that info here a that is very personal. Just offering important things to consider). If you are, then you are not setting an example for him and you need to address these issues for yourself.

New believers can be on a kind of spiritual "high", and somewhat erratic. This includes some varying degrees of legalism at times. Once we grow and mature in the faith we leave those insecurities behind. It is vital that your boyfriend has some good men in his life to help mentor him and teach him accountability. Does he have that? You can do that to a degree (mostly by being patient), but there are areas where men really need other men to look up to.

Most of all, consider your life and how you can use it for God's glory. Is that what's happening in this relationship? If not, you should first and foremost be focusing on you and how you can move in that direction. Two books I highly recommend are "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian, and "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. You're not a wife, but you want to be some day, right? These books can help you get on the track to becoming the kind of woman and wife God wants you to be. Focus on that, and He will take care of the rest. :hug:

[dmhforJesus]

Why were you dating a non-Christian? That would explain the majority of your seven-year confusion.

I don't know, it sounds pretty cut-and-dry... you have to force everything to work, your beliefs are opposite... you'd have a very hard time following after someone like that. You do see his fruits laid out before you. We know a good tree can't bear bad fruit, and a bad tree can't bear good fruit. How's it sound to you?
Thank you for your input

[dmhforJesus]

JS has some really excellent points. :thumbsup:

When seeking an answer to prayer the absolute first thing we must do is look to the Bible for answers. Consider the relationship you're in. You already know you've been disobedient by dating an unbeliever. I'm not saying that's enough reason to walk away at this point, especially if he is now saved. Look at the other areas of your relationship. Are you living together? Sleeping together? Participating in any other clearly sinful activities? (Note: I'm not asking you to share that info here a that is very personal. Just offering important things to consider). If you are, then you are not setting an example for him and you need to address these issues for yourself.

New believers can be on a kind of spiritual "high", and somewhat erratic. This includes some varying degrees of legalism at times. Once we grow and mature in the faith we leave those insecurities behind. It is vital that your boyfriend has some good men in his life to help mentor him and teach him accountability. Does he have that? You can do that to a degree (mostly by being patient), but there are areas where men really need other men to look up to.

Most of all, consider your life and how you can use it for God's glory. Is that what's happening in this relationship? If not, you should first and foremost be focusing on you and how you can move in that direction. Two books I highly recommend are "Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian, and "The Excellent Wife" by Martha Peace. You're not a wife, but you want to be some day, right? These books can help you get on the track to becoming the kind of woman and wife God wants you to be. Focus on that, and He will take care of the rest. :hug:
Thank you for your input

[dmhforJesus]

All of these comments are very helpful and I greatly appreciate the input. God Bless you all !

[shrewdsnake]

I believe in intercessory prayer but don't know if other people can actually get answers for you????? :confused:

No I do not believe others will receive your answer for you. Based on what you have posted I would say you know the answer and for whatever reason don't want to follow through. Your relationship has been seven years long and now that he is "saved" your not sure you want to be with him. Something has sent up a flag. Time to move on.

[GodsGirlSajida]

Blimey, this sounds exactly like my situation!!!!!
I live in england and have been dating a non-Christian for 7 years.
Some very helpful info here.