I want to give up

[JustinHesychast]

I'm so tired of waiting. I'm tired of losing needed sleep. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of a very short prayer rule causing struggle. I am tired of Christianity being so difficult. I'm tired of Christianity draining me from energy. I just want to give up so much. The past day I already have. I can't find the strength to continue on. It's so exhausting... :sigh:

[Thekla]

sometimes, that means you're getting somewhere ... :)

ask for help (I ask Panagia to pray for me)

[Adammi]

I'm so tired of waiting. I'm tired of losing needed sleep. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of a very short prayer rule causing struggle. I am tired of Christianity being so difficult. I'm tired of Christianity draining me from energy. I just want to give up so much. The past day I already have. I can't find the strength to continue on. It's so exhausting... :sigh:
I'm not EO or anything, just a TAW lurker. A scripture that I have found particular strength in lately is:

2 Corinthians 12:
...he (Christ) said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I hope that is as helpful to you as it has been to me.

[JustinHesychast]

I don't even pray! I prayed for the first time in a long time a few days ago. I prayed one night, the following morning, and then the next night, and then I gave up.

[OrthoCanuck]

Not to belittle your experiences, but I don't think it is a coincidence that Lent is coming.


I'm going through struggles as well...'tis the season.


Just remember Christianity is not as hard as you think. It is more than rules and regulations. God does most of the work. Satan wants you to give up. Do you think God loves you any less because you aren't praying as much as you want to, or as much as you think you have to?


Please see your spiritual father (I'm seeing mine tomorrow to work out my stuff), it is a VERY good idea.


With love,

OC

[Philothei]

It is okay just get started again... and when you fall stand up and continue again... God does not ask how many times we repent as long as we repent and go on.... you have to be in the race... Do not let the devil tell you that you are not getting anywhere the very fact that you realize that you are "not going anywhere" is the realization that you are way on your spiritual warfare.... Hang in there. The very fact you pray at least 2-3 times a week is good... try for more...like 4 times a week and so on... Sometimes I stop what I do and go and pray....as I know there will never be the "perfect" time for prayer....

God bless,

Philothei

[Monica, child of God]

"This is the mark of Christianity--however much a man toils, and however many righteousnesses he performs, to feel that he has done nothing, and in fasting to say, 'This is not fasting,' and in praying, 'This is not prayer,' and in perseverance at prayer, 'I have shown no perseverance; I am only just beginning to practice and to take pains'; and even if he is righteous before God, he should say, 'I am not righteous, not I; I do not take pains, but only make a beginning every day.'" --St. Macarius the Great

[Dorothea]

Wow! You're already tired at your age. Just think of the decades you've got to strive and work out your salvation. Hmmm, it is difficult and I pray constantly to be a better servant of His. I pray for selflessness, charitability, nonjudgmentalness (I'm making up words here, aren't I? :blush:), etc. I want to be the best witness and give glory to God, but the human in me gets in the way all the time. ;)

[Blonde]

Justin, when you are tired rest in Him.
Teach your soul to be still and to trust Jesus.
You don't have to speak many words. Become aware of His constant Presence within you and rest in the knowledge.
You will have to learn it but you can.

The Lord is my Shepard I shall not want.

[Veritas_et_Puritas]

Oh Justin, I understand. :groupray: I've been so tired lately myself that I just want to "give up"... and indeed I have in a few ways.

Hugs. :groupray:

[Dorothea]

Not to belittle your experiences, but I don't think it is a coincidence that Lent is coming.


I'm going through struggles as well...'tis the season.


Just remember Christianity is not as hard as you think. It is more than rules and regulations. God does most of the work. Satan wants you to give up. Do you think God loves you any less because you aren't praying as much as you want to, or as much as you think you have to?


Please see your spiritual father (I'm seeing mine tomorrow to work out my stuff), it is a VERY good idea.


With love,

OC
Ah, maybe that explains my struggles lately too. :eek:

[SaintMarina]

Ah, maybe that explains my struggles lately too. :eek:
Yeah, us too Dorothea.

Justin, I agree With OC and just know you're not alone in this struggle.

Prayers.:crosseo:

[Kirkhaven]

Friend, believe it or not, it is a good thing that you're struggling. Remember always, that the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be feeling this way right now. I'm sure everyone here can sympathize with your situation, as well as the saints before us. I tell you what, we shall pray for you, as well as each other that you be strengthened and comforted in your faith. Believe me, the Lord earnestly seeks to help those who are struggling. :crossrc:

[Knightwolflord]

I understand how you feel my brother.

I have had a hard time too. Trying to prepare for Confirmation and my first Eucharist, trying to learn about both the Roman and Melkite Catholic Churches at the same time, Trying to pray when you are tired or distracted.

The biggest piece of advice from me is to keep trying to pray.

Prayer is a battle my brother. Satan does his utmost to disrupt our prayer because prayer is what strengthens us the most (aside from the Eucharist).

Pray, pray, pray. Don't stop yourself (nor let Satan stop you) from drinking from the Well of Christ.

Also, make use of the Holy Mysteries of Repentance and the Eucharist. Their is enough Grace in one Holy Communion to make you a saint.

God Bless You my brother.

:hug:

[ThePosterFormerlyKnownAs]

“I consider no other labor as difficult as prayer. When we are ready to pray, our spiritual enemies interfere. They understand it is only by making it difficult for us to pray that they can harm us. Other things will meet with success if we keep at it, but laboring at prayer is a war that will continue until we die.” -- Abba Agathon

[SpyridonOCA]

I'm so tired of waiting. I'm tired of losing needed sleep. I'm tired of failing. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of a very short prayer rule causing struggle. I am tired of Christianity being so difficult. I'm tired of Christianity draining me from energy. I just want to give up so much. The past day I already have. I can't find the strength to continue on. It's so exhausting... :sigh:

What work are you doing for building the Kingdom of God? Not everyone who cries Lord, Lord will be saved.

[Sacrum Silentium]

Beautiful post, Spyridon, and utterly convicting... Lord have mercy.

[SpyridonOCA]

We can do all the prayers and prostrations we want, but if we don't take care of the least of these, it's all for nothing. Christians who are discontent in their faith oftentimes need to actually practice it. I know from personal experience.

[namericanboy]

Young lad..Commiting our lives to Christ is not an easy road. The spiritual man is born anew to the Spirit of God and battle between the flesh and the Spirit will continue till we leave this earth or He returns..We daily have to choose Christ over the flesh way our bodies naturally choose..We live one day at a time..Right choices can take us from glory to glory as we reap what we sow..
Try to focus on the good rather than the negative...His burden is easy and His yoke is light but it is our choice to want to recieve it...Your are so young to be tired and weary..There are many who are older and have walked through this can give you advice..I am tired and weary too..I have a health problems from a fall and fibromyalgia..I haven't had a restful night of sleep for 4 years, yet there are many far worse with cancer and other illnesses...I daily choose to focus how I can bless ohters and minister to those in my local ecclesia..Try to get the focus off yourself and ask God to help you be an example of Him to those around you...It is a blessing to even see those praying for you..peace to you..
nab

[JustinHesychast]

I wish I could say more to the great replies here, but I've been enjoying my recent "rest" from such struggle.

[SpyridonOCA]

I wish I could say more to the great replies here, but I've been enjoying my recent "rest" from such struggle.

Posting on an internet forum isn't the same as being an Orthodox Christian. What have you done lately to live the Gospel?

[JustinHesychast]

I snuck to church. Then I was stupid and told mom. :P

Otherwise, not really anything. Every now and then I will get super-religious and pray super fervently for 2 days, then it will die off as quickly as it came. I also sleep a lot. I very much value sleep. :P Especially with exhausting school life, work life, and home life.

[SpyridonOCA]

I snuck to church. Then I was stupid and told mom. :P

Otherwise, not really anything. Every now and then I will get super-religious and pray super fervently for 2 days, then it will die off as quickly as it came. I also sleep a lot. I very much value sleep. :P Especially with exhausting school life, work life, and home life.

Have you been paying attention to what I'm saying? Prayers are worthless without action. Now, go outside and feed and clothe the homeless. If you still question your faith, go do some more real good rather than complaining about it. If prayer without action is what you want to give up, then most certainly, give it up.

[Nichole]

Have you been paying attention to what I'm saying? Prayers are worthless without action. Now, go outside and feed and clothe the homeless. If you still question your faith, go do some more real good rather than complaining about it. If prayer without action is what you want to give up, then most certainly, give it up.
Should Justin stand on the street corner with a sign saying "Vote for Obama"? Would that be humanitarian enough?!

[gorion]

Not starting threads every two days to draw attention to himself might be a good start.

[SpyridonOCA]

Not starting threads every two days to draw attention to himself might be a good start.

Let's be fair.

[gorion]

Let's be fair.
I'm sorry I lurk here a lot and don't post much but this Justin guy tries to draw more attention to himself, it is unbelievable.

[Nichole]

I'm sorry I lurk here a lot and don't post much but this Justin guy tries to draw more attention to himself, it is unbelievable.
I believe you are wrong. Justin is a sincere inquirer to the Orthodox faith. Is it so wrong with asking all these questions? Isn't that was TAW is for? Is it so wrong to post trials and tribulations one is experiencing to see what others thoughts are on it? As in what others experience and how they deal and cope with it!!

[gorion]

Ok I apologize.

It just seems between all the posts about his mom, his being gay, his elation, his being down etc. etc.. I can only conclude he is either schizo, manic depressive or someone who craves attention.

But Hey I've been worng before.

[Nichole]

Ok I apologize.

It just seems between all the posts about his mom, his being gay, his elation, his being down etc. etc.. I can only conclude he is either schizo, manic depressive or someone who craves attention.

But Hey I've been worng before.
WOW..............could you have been anymore sarcastic in your apology? There was no need in jabbing the schizo, manic depressive, and attention craver in there. You know........words like that can be hurtful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[gorion]

I wasn't being sarcastic.

My comments were just an observation. One that has been forming for a long time.

[gorion]

nevermind

[JustinHesychast]

...

Well then.

>_>

<_<

[SeraphimSarov]

Well. I dropped in to see what everyone was up to, and now I'm sorry I did. I shudder to think that someone looking to explore the Holy Faith could see this thread and turn away forever.

Justin, you know where to find me.

Glory to Jesus Christ. :crosseo:

[JustinHesychast]

Well... thanks for the first 2 pages of encouragement! :)

[SaintMarina]

Not starting threads every two days to draw attention to himself might be a good start.

Well I guess I can take this opportunity to get something off my chest too.

Justin in the past when I have lurked in the past, I've noticed you post an awful lot about yourself and thought it to be selfish. I beg for your forgiveness. I know that you are in a less than desirable situation and can only imagine some of the struggles you face. Especially with your mother. The truth is none of us know the situation this kid is in, much less each other, and with Lent coming up it wouldn't surprise me to see things start to fly here.

As I have also posted 3 or 4 threads In the last few days I hope that none of the TAW members think I'm being rude or selfish because I'm definitely not.

Forgive me,

Marina

[JustinHesychast]

... Alrighty then.

[Sacrum Silentium]

Seventy seven times seven.

Justin, :hug: forgive me for my lack of Christian charity. It's been awesome chatting with you over at DC btw. :)

[Bushmaster78FS]

If I had the time I would post about myself and my issues all the time. Justin seems to want to socialize with Orthodox and that should be fine.

I am not bothered with it.

[ThePosterFormerlyKnownAs]

Many people don't understand that self-absorption can be pathological and isn't always just about being "willfully" selfish. I can't speak to Justin's situation but I know it's a terrible struggle with many people and just being accused of selfishness does nothing to help.

I'd suggest putting on some headphones with a very interesting talk program, then while chewing a large wad of gum, trying to counsel someone about their problems to get the faintest hint of an idea what it might be like. Of course it's not the same at all because you could just take off the headphones and spit out the gum.

I hope that made some sense.