TomUK
3rd June 2004, 07:40 PM
A (superb) Christian humour website on the internet, www.shipoffools.com, recently ran a competition for the best eleventh commandment. These are the best ones that came back
Three-quarters of a million beer mats and postcards were sent out. Two thousand text messages and emails came back. And now the winners of the 11th Commandment competition can be announced.
The UK's Methodist Church and Ship of Fools asked you to suggest a new commandment to go alongside the famous 10, with five camera phones as the prizes. So here are the winners, ready to be chiselled in granite...
Thou shalt not worship false pop idols
Thou shalt not kill in the name of any god
Thou shalt not confuse text with love
Thou shalt not consume thine own body weight in fudge
Thou shalt not be negative
Among the runners-up were: Thou shalt not...
... dump your lover by text... covet thy neighbour's iPod... dance like your dad... marry unless truly in love... change allegiance if your football team is relegated... hold loud conversations on thy mobile in a public place... condemn thy neighbour for having different beliefs... use faith to hide from reality... use plastic to multiply your possessions... shrink-wrap cucumbers... pretend to have no change when asked to donate to charity.
And also: Thou shalt...
... commit random acts of kindness... respect the earth... indicate at roundabouts... smile at the person opposite.
The overall winner, Andrew Shaw, 21, a student from Essex, thought it had been "a good idea to take the discussion into pubs". His commandment, "Thou shalt not worship false pop idols", is particularly topical. "Celebrities are the golden calves of today," he said. "They do not serve any purpose other than to be idolized".
Simon Jenkins, editor of shipoffools.com, said: "We were thrilled to receive so many 11th commandments from people having 'Moses moments'. The serious commandments that stood out were anti-organised religion, debt and war, but pro-tolerance and conservation of the earth. In the humorous ones you could almost hear the clink of glasses between the lines. Religion and laughter... Methodism and pubs... this competition has shown that they can live together."
Revd Jonathan Kerry, Co-ordinating Secretary for Worship and Learning at the Methodist Church, was equally delighted: "The response to this competition, including the media interest from right round the world, shows that people are definitely interested in talking about values and spiritual issues, even on a night out. The challenge to the church is to join the conversation where people are, not waiting for them to come to us. We need to recover a sense of fun, and be more ready to listen than to judge."
My personal favourite that a friend told me was 'thou shalt not commit poultry'. Any ideas?
Three-quarters of a million beer mats and postcards were sent out. Two thousand text messages and emails came back. And now the winners of the 11th Commandment competition can be announced.
The UK's Methodist Church and Ship of Fools asked you to suggest a new commandment to go alongside the famous 10, with five camera phones as the prizes. So here are the winners, ready to be chiselled in granite...
Thou shalt not worship false pop idols
Thou shalt not kill in the name of any god
Thou shalt not confuse text with love
Thou shalt not consume thine own body weight in fudge
Thou shalt not be negative
Among the runners-up were: Thou shalt not...
... dump your lover by text... covet thy neighbour's iPod... dance like your dad... marry unless truly in love... change allegiance if your football team is relegated... hold loud conversations on thy mobile in a public place... condemn thy neighbour for having different beliefs... use faith to hide from reality... use plastic to multiply your possessions... shrink-wrap cucumbers... pretend to have no change when asked to donate to charity.
And also: Thou shalt...
... commit random acts of kindness... respect the earth... indicate at roundabouts... smile at the person opposite.
The overall winner, Andrew Shaw, 21, a student from Essex, thought it had been "a good idea to take the discussion into pubs". His commandment, "Thou shalt not worship false pop idols", is particularly topical. "Celebrities are the golden calves of today," he said. "They do not serve any purpose other than to be idolized".
Simon Jenkins, editor of shipoffools.com, said: "We were thrilled to receive so many 11th commandments from people having 'Moses moments'. The serious commandments that stood out were anti-organised religion, debt and war, but pro-tolerance and conservation of the earth. In the humorous ones you could almost hear the clink of glasses between the lines. Religion and laughter... Methodism and pubs... this competition has shown that they can live together."
Revd Jonathan Kerry, Co-ordinating Secretary for Worship and Learning at the Methodist Church, was equally delighted: "The response to this competition, including the media interest from right round the world, shows that people are definitely interested in talking about values and spiritual issues, even on a night out. The challenge to the church is to join the conversation where people are, not waiting for them to come to us. We need to recover a sense of fun, and be more ready to listen than to judge."
My personal favourite that a friend told me was 'thou shalt not commit poultry'. Any ideas?