Soccer and Shabbat and the Holidays

[HeatherMicaela]

I have a little girl who is dying to play soccer. And for some reason we have to register rather soon for the FALL season. (Go figure) I am ok with it happening on Saturday (which is why this is not in the Orthodox section ;) ), but I have a big problem with missing Shabbat service for like 3 months. With my ds' baseball we usually have to leave early or just miss oneg.

But what is a bigger issue is that for now our congregation only has a place to meet on Saturdays. So our congregational observences of Holidays fall on the Saturday closest to the real date. (We are praying for a better location.)

SO - If my dd DID do soccer that would fall right when the Fall Holdiays were and she would have to miss at least 3-4 games. Dh says this makes the season not even worth it and doesnt stress the importance of committing to a team. While that is no big deal now, if she stick with soccer, eventually the games would mean more.

So how do I go about this. She has been crying to do soccor for 2 years. Anyone BTDT?

I found a Seventh Day Adventist sponsored leauge that has games on sunday, but it is 2 counties over.

[HadassahSukkot]

I'd either bite the bullet of going two counties over, or the one of not playing at all, and explaining why our spirituality comes before pleasure...

Here, football (soccer) is a big deal. You don't just have your games on the weekends, but you'll often have practice 2-3 times a week, unless you're super serious about it and have practice nearly every day.

Games are always Saturday and Sunday, and inevitibly fall on the Holy Days, so I know if our little one shows an interest it can't be "professionally" unless it's with a Shomer Shabbat group... which would require loads of sacrifice on our part ($$ for travel to said group etc)...

As few and far between as our congregations generally are, if I had a 'do-over' I'd not miss any of the services I did when I wasn't ill or taking care of someone who was... trust me, they're invaluable.

[Henaynei]

btdt, not with soccer but with other issues

the real issue is what life lesson is it important to teach your daughter - to compromise with scripture and your faith to do something you *really, cryingly* want to do ... or to learn that serving HaShem requires *real, crying* sacrifice?

to learn that commitment to a soccer team or to the instructions of HaShem and to his community is more important ?

[christianmomof3]

That is a tough issue.

The best thing to do is to pray about it and follow the Lord's leading.

Will all of the games be in the morning during your services or will some be in the afternoons?
Could you and your dh switch out weekends taking her to games every other weekend?
Does she have a close friend who is on a soccer team and you could send her with the friend's parents every once in a while?
What about indoor soccer? It is more expensive, but may have different days or times.

Perhaps you can find a different sport that she would like to play that is offered at a different time or day.

:prayer: May the Lord lead you and be your peace in this situation.

[Ivy]

I think it may be important to think not just about this instance, but of many other instances that may come about in the future.

If you allow your daughter to do this, will it mean three months of missing shabbat services every year? And if it means that, what other things will you then be asked to make an exception for?

If you decide to make an exception this time, it should probably be clearly defined as that, a one-time thing, so it doesn't become a recurring thing; otherwise your commitment to shabbat services could weaken.

Blessings,
Ivy

[HeatherMicaela]

See that is the thing. I DONT want her missing 3 months of shabbats for the rest of her life, even if dh and I trade off taking her. Some games may be later as she gets older, but in the meantime that is a lot to miss.

There *is* an indoor league that has weekday afternoon games. IT *is* incredibly more expensive. But it might be the best option.

[ChavaK]

How old is your daughter?
Has she been raised messianic, or is this
something relatively new to her?

[Lulav]

I'd either bite the bullet of going two counties over, or the one of not playing at all, and explaining why our spirituality comes before pleasure...


As few and far between as our congregations generally are, if I had a 'do-over' I'd not miss any of the services I did when I wasn't ill or taking care of someone who was... trust me, they're invaluable.:thumbsup:

btdt, not with soccer but with other issues

the real issue is what life lesson is it important to teach your daughter - to compromise with scripture and your faith to do something you *really, cryingly* want to do ... or to learn that serving HaShem requires *real, crying* sacrifice?

to learn that commitment to a soccer team or to the instructions of HaShem and to his community is more important ?:amen:

That is a tough issue.

The best thing to do is to pray about it and follow the Lord's leading.

Will all of the games be in the morning during your services or will some be in the afternoons?
Could you and your dh switch out weekends taking her to games every other weekend?
Does she have a close friend who is on a soccer team and you could send her with the friend's parents every once in a while?
What about indoor soccer? It is more expensive, but may have different days or times.

Perhaps you can find a different sport that she would like to play that is offered at a different time or day.

:prayer: May the Lord lead you and be your peace in this situation. Our G-d is not a G-d of compromise, we must choose to do what honors him, first and foremost, after all the first commandment and most important is to 'Love the L-RD your G-d with all your heart, soul and mind'......................there is no codicil that says, 'when it's convenient. ;)

[HadassahSukkot]

:hug: I know it's got to be hard. I still want to break into horseback riding, and with a baby on the way we're still working out logistics of the how and where...

It's been a "cry" Issue for many years (about 14+...), but my parents couldn't afford it not to mention we had only one vehicle for a long time, and then it became one of those activities that required lessons on the weekends (Shabbat) as that was the only time the trainer could fit me in at a reasonable cost..

With the barn I had been working with at one point burning down, I had to let go of the dream temporarily and just hang on to the equipment I've invested in. I'm hoping as baby gets bigger, we both can have lessons together, and that should not be hard at all with a "verein" (club) being right here in town and people being as horse-crazy as I was. I just have to ensure that when we go back home to visit that I get my equipment packed and bring it along with my things, and continue in prayer that the money is provided in some way.

DH and I have been discussing taking on English tutoring as a side job, as there are many students and adults taking English in our area. If I can finish out with my courses I should be able to help out teaching girls if he'll take the boys... that should give us a little extra to squirrel away to 'fun' like movies and animal/sport related activities.

Keep praying and if it is something that is a true hearts desire, the means will be provided in G-d's time. :hug:

[HeatherMicaela]

How old is your daughter?
Has she been raised messianic, or is this
something relatively new to her?



She is 4 and a half. She will be 5 by next soccer season. She has been dying to play some sport since ds started t-ball a year ago. She can do softball next year, but soccer is what she mentions daily.

WE have been observing the holidays for as long as she can remember and been attending a messianic congregation for over a year.

the real issue is what life lesson is it important to teach your daughter - to compromise with scripture and your faith to do something you *really, cryingly* want to do ... or to learn that serving HaShem requires *real, crying* sacrifice?

to learn that commitment to a soccer team or to the instructions of HaShem and to his community is more important ?


I think there is room for passions and ambitions while at the same time serving HaShem in a sacrificial way. I will NOT compromise by having her miss high holy days. And while I am ok with missing a shabbat service from time to time, I am not Ok with anyone not going for several months in a row. So yes, she may have to sacrifice AYSO soccer for a "lesser" league.

I do agree that that commitment to a soccer team is important, but that commitment to G-d is more important. I would not have her go to games and practices over services - but if she is missing so much that she can't be relied on as part of a team (Not that it matters at her young age), then she would be better of not being on a team at all.

[ChavaK]

She is 4 and a half. She will be 5 by next soccer season. She has been dying to play some sport since ds started t-ball a year ago. She can do softball next year, but soccer is what she mentions daily.

WE have been observing the holidays for as long as she can remember and been attending a messianic congregation for over a year.



The reason I ask is because I am friends with a Jewish family
that was becoming religious. Their children-who were not
raised observant-were rebelling and refusing to give up TV
and the phone for shabbas. The parents started enforcing
these observances anyway, and soon found that the children
were being driven away from Judaism. So they relented and
allowed the kids to watch TV and use the phone only in
their own bedroom. It took a couple of years, but the kids
finally saw the beauty of observance and Torah and now
are fully observant. They just had a tough time giving up
the two secular things they were really attached to.
Sometimes pushing kids to far in to observance too fast
has unintended consequences...

:wave: