pmcleanj
8th February 2008, 09:24 PM
I'll come back and edit this original post as other people add their ideas. I'd ask that you not debate in this thread, but just give your own opinions. And please keep it concrete: it's not about what children/parents/congregations think or feel, but what do we expect them to DO:
Here's what we've got so far:
When a child is a baby (eighteen months or younger), what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - suckle when hungry, sleep when tired (pmcleanj)
- - respond to stimulating sights and sounds with baby-noises, hand-waving, and so on (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- - bring the baby to church (higgs2, pmcleanj)
- - to come back in should they need to leave because of screaming or a diaper change (higgs2)
- - leave to change diapers when the child evinces diaper-related distress or smell, then return(pmcleanj)
- - breast- or bottle-feed reasonably discretely when the child expresses hunger, preferably in situ (pmcleanj)
- - stand in the aisle to rock or settle a fussy baby (pmcleanj)
- - take out a baby who has been crying for some time, but after trying first to console it (Chalice Thunder)
- - choose a pew, baggage, footwear, and style of moving that will make your coming-and-going reasonably undisruptive*. (pmcleanj)
*You don't need to wear sneakers and sit in the back pew, but avoid steel-tipped high heels and sitting in the middle of the most crowded pew
- - tour the church with the baby after the service and point out bright foci like the stained glass, telling the stories of Scripture even if you don't think the baby can understand it yet. (pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - provide a stable, sanitary changing table equipped with diapers, wipes, hand-washing facilities and diaper-disposal facilities (it's away less disruptive to lug a baby out-and-back than to lug baby and a fully-equipped diaper-bag.)(pmcleanj)
- - provide a comfortable private place for breast-feeding by people not comfortable doing so in-situ, where the liturgy can be heard and preferably also seen(pmcleanj)
- - provide stimulating gospel-related materials like baby-activity blankets or small stuffies(pmcleanj)
- - refrain from making faces, grumbling, or shooting the look of death at other worshippers (generally agreed by most)
When a child is a toddler (eighteen months to three years old), what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - not run around on the altar (generally agreed by all)
- - to learn how to whisper when reminded, to not want to leave their parents or be left in a nursery (higgs2)
- - find the goings on at the front interesting if they are close enough to see them(higgs2)
- - participate at least minimally in prayers and hymns -- for example, fold hands close eyes bow head and say "Our Father Amen!" , and more as the child gets older (pmcleanj)
- - have multiple adult mentors in the congregation and sit with different ones from time to time during the service
- his parents and godparents --
- - begin gently teaching the child how to behave during church(higgs2)
- - role-model by whispering when talking to the child(pmcleanj)
- - point out and name different parts of the service (now she will break the bread, we stand during "holy holy" that kind of thing)(higgs2)
- - sit at the front so the child can see(higgs2)
- - coach the child to participate in at least some of the service(higgs2)
- - get up and down a lot(higgs2)
- - clean up after the child when he dribbles in the washroom or drops cake-crumbs and cheerios (pmcleanj)
- - tour the church with the child after the service and let him see the stained glass and parements, touch the carvings, smell the candles and incense; naming them and telling their stories(pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - learn the children's names to the same degree that they learn the names of the rest of the congregation (pmcleanj)
- - talk briefly to the children when greeters or during "coffee", getting down on one knee and using simple words.(pmcleanj)
- - provide large crayons and colouring sheets or quiet toys related to the theme of the day(pmcleanj, higgs2)
- - provide a stool and a potty-chair or safety-seat, and a spray-bottle of sanitizer, in the washroom (pmcleanj)
- - express welcome to the child and his/her parents
- - help distract or engage a bored toddler(higgs)
- - welcome toddlers to sit with different mentors during the service (higgs, pmcleanj)
- - plan special liturgies such as the Palm Sunday procession that include movement and drama and encourage toddlers to participate along with everyone else by going slow and providing scaled-down props where necessary (pmcleanj)
- - make space by moving if necessary, to let families sit together with access to the aisles (higgs, Chalice Thunder)
- - provide greeters to help families settle in and find the facilities they need (Chalice Thunder)
When a child is a pre-schooler (four or five years old, what should we expect from ;
- the child --
- - join in reciting most or all of those prayers (like the Lord's Prayer) that are used week after week (pmcleanj)
- - join in some of the singing, at least of the simpler refrains (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- the congregation --
- - provide regular crayons and colouring sheets or picture-books related to the theme of the day(pmcleanj)
- - include some hymns in every service that the children know by rote, so that they can join in, and repeat them often(pmcleanj)
- - be reasonably consistent in choosing liturgical elements, so that the children have a chance of memorizing some parts.(pmcleanj)
- - include children along with older mentors (NOT necessarily their parents or godparents) in lay roles like taking up the offering and greeting.
When a child is a school-child, what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - train as and participate in worship as acolytes, readers according to their skill, and choristers (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- the congregation --
- - include children along with older mentors (NOT necessarily their parents or godparents) in lay roles like taking up the offering and greeting.(pmcleanj)
- - provide some sort of work-sheet focussing on the day's theme, to augment the sermon(pmcleanj)
- - provide Christian Education in a timeslot that doesn't prevent worshipping as a member of the congregation (pmcleanj)
When a child is a teenager, what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - take full part in the regular worship (pmcleanj)
- - take a turn in lay ministries such as reading, greeting and assisting(pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- - provide respectful and kind advice, as you would to any younger brother in Christ(pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - include youth on an equal basis on the leadership roster with other members (pmcleanj)
- - Have a youth group (pmcleanj)
- - Communicate youth group activities clearly by internet website (pmcleanj)
- - Stay aware of the rhythm of the high-school and University year and pray for those leaving home or facing midterms or finals.
Here's what we've got so far:
When a child is a baby (eighteen months or younger), what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - suckle when hungry, sleep when tired (pmcleanj)
- - respond to stimulating sights and sounds with baby-noises, hand-waving, and so on (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- - bring the baby to church (higgs2, pmcleanj)
- - to come back in should they need to leave because of screaming or a diaper change (higgs2)
- - leave to change diapers when the child evinces diaper-related distress or smell, then return(pmcleanj)
- - breast- or bottle-feed reasonably discretely when the child expresses hunger, preferably in situ (pmcleanj)
- - stand in the aisle to rock or settle a fussy baby (pmcleanj)
- - take out a baby who has been crying for some time, but after trying first to console it (Chalice Thunder)
- - choose a pew, baggage, footwear, and style of moving that will make your coming-and-going reasonably undisruptive*. (pmcleanj)
*You don't need to wear sneakers and sit in the back pew, but avoid steel-tipped high heels and sitting in the middle of the most crowded pew
- - tour the church with the baby after the service and point out bright foci like the stained glass, telling the stories of Scripture even if you don't think the baby can understand it yet. (pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - provide a stable, sanitary changing table equipped with diapers, wipes, hand-washing facilities and diaper-disposal facilities (it's away less disruptive to lug a baby out-and-back than to lug baby and a fully-equipped diaper-bag.)(pmcleanj)
- - provide a comfortable private place for breast-feeding by people not comfortable doing so in-situ, where the liturgy can be heard and preferably also seen(pmcleanj)
- - provide stimulating gospel-related materials like baby-activity blankets or small stuffies(pmcleanj)
- - refrain from making faces, grumbling, or shooting the look of death at other worshippers (generally agreed by most)
When a child is a toddler (eighteen months to three years old), what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - not run around on the altar (generally agreed by all)
- - to learn how to whisper when reminded, to not want to leave their parents or be left in a nursery (higgs2)
- - find the goings on at the front interesting if they are close enough to see them(higgs2)
- - participate at least minimally in prayers and hymns -- for example, fold hands close eyes bow head and say "Our Father Amen!" , and more as the child gets older (pmcleanj)
- - have multiple adult mentors in the congregation and sit with different ones from time to time during the service
- his parents and godparents --
- - begin gently teaching the child how to behave during church(higgs2)
- - role-model by whispering when talking to the child(pmcleanj)
- - point out and name different parts of the service (now she will break the bread, we stand during "holy holy" that kind of thing)(higgs2)
- - sit at the front so the child can see(higgs2)
- - coach the child to participate in at least some of the service(higgs2)
- - get up and down a lot(higgs2)
- - clean up after the child when he dribbles in the washroom or drops cake-crumbs and cheerios (pmcleanj)
- - tour the church with the child after the service and let him see the stained glass and parements, touch the carvings, smell the candles and incense; naming them and telling their stories(pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - learn the children's names to the same degree that they learn the names of the rest of the congregation (pmcleanj)
- - talk briefly to the children when greeters or during "coffee", getting down on one knee and using simple words.(pmcleanj)
- - provide large crayons and colouring sheets or quiet toys related to the theme of the day(pmcleanj, higgs2)
- - provide a stool and a potty-chair or safety-seat, and a spray-bottle of sanitizer, in the washroom (pmcleanj)
- - express welcome to the child and his/her parents
- - help distract or engage a bored toddler(higgs)
- - welcome toddlers to sit with different mentors during the service (higgs, pmcleanj)
- - plan special liturgies such as the Palm Sunday procession that include movement and drama and encourage toddlers to participate along with everyone else by going slow and providing scaled-down props where necessary (pmcleanj)
- - make space by moving if necessary, to let families sit together with access to the aisles (higgs, Chalice Thunder)
- - provide greeters to help families settle in and find the facilities they need (Chalice Thunder)
When a child is a pre-schooler (four or five years old, what should we expect from ;
- the child --
- - join in reciting most or all of those prayers (like the Lord's Prayer) that are used week after week (pmcleanj)
- - join in some of the singing, at least of the simpler refrains (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- the congregation --
- - provide regular crayons and colouring sheets or picture-books related to the theme of the day(pmcleanj)
- - include some hymns in every service that the children know by rote, so that they can join in, and repeat them often(pmcleanj)
- - be reasonably consistent in choosing liturgical elements, so that the children have a chance of memorizing some parts.(pmcleanj)
- - include children along with older mentors (NOT necessarily their parents or godparents) in lay roles like taking up the offering and greeting.
When a child is a school-child, what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - train as and participate in worship as acolytes, readers according to their skill, and choristers (pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- the congregation --
- - include children along with older mentors (NOT necessarily their parents or godparents) in lay roles like taking up the offering and greeting.(pmcleanj)
- - provide some sort of work-sheet focussing on the day's theme, to augment the sermon(pmcleanj)
- - provide Christian Education in a timeslot that doesn't prevent worshipping as a member of the congregation (pmcleanj)
When a child is a teenager, what should we expect from:
- the child --
- - take full part in the regular worship (pmcleanj)
- - take a turn in lay ministries such as reading, greeting and assisting(pmcleanj)
- his parents and godparents --
- - provide respectful and kind advice, as you would to any younger brother in Christ(pmcleanj)
- the congregation --
- - include youth on an equal basis on the leadership roster with other members (pmcleanj)
- - Have a youth group (pmcleanj)
- - Communicate youth group activities clearly by internet website (pmcleanj)
- - Stay aware of the rhythm of the high-school and University year and pray for those leaving home or facing midterms or finals.