Names for our (deceased) children.

[SeekingTheLight]

When Fr. Christopher was here yesterday doing our house blessing, we got to talking about the two miscarriages I had over 10 years ago. He asked if in our Protestant church if we had a funeral service for our children, or had named them. I told him "no."He said that it's becoming more and more common within the Orthodox church for these children to at least be given a name if nothing else, and usually a short service to commemorate their short lives. Well, I thought this was just a really beautiful thing! I mean, it's hard to put into words, but I remember thinking (after I miscarried) that these are my babies, and shouldn't we do something to remember them? In reality though, they were never mentioned again. It's almost like they never existed. (although I have two sonogram pictures tucked away in my keepsakes).

Well, this Orthodox perspective is just so much more comforting. Sure, maybe they were never born, and we never got to hold them, but they ARE alive in heaven with God. They are not gone, so why shouldn't they have a name and be remembered along with my three other children?

Anyway, so hubby and I are planning to choose names for them. That's going to be difficult, since we never knew what genders they were, but Fr. Christopher said that "whatever names you choose will be the ones they were supposed to have." Isn't that just beautiful?

Ok, I'm tearing up now. It's just so neat to be able to acknowledge their existence, you know?

I know some others on here have lost babies. Have any of you done this for your children?

[Protoevangel]

That is one of the most beautiful and fitting things I have ever heard! :hug:

[ThePosterFormerlyKnownAs]

I've thought about it often but never talked with my wife about it. I think I may ask her tonight. Thank you for this, it has me tearing up too.

[Hoankan]

I think that's a beautiful thing to do.

[Philothei]

I had misscarried too.. but we did no funeral ...as the fetus was too unformed... and small. The complication to that is that some hospitals they do not let you take it and burry it.... It it interesting that your priest asked to name them... since you guys do not know their genders. But,it is true usually in a memorial priests in Greece would always add, for children who were misscarried...or even aborded in other cases, the name "unbaptised" in their prayers. I have happened to witness that during a memorial... and it was truly special for the people. My cousin misscarried when she was eitht months pregnant and she burried the baby ... it was a sad time I went to the funeral and she visits occasionally its grave. Also I do believe that we will meet these children up in heaven.... someday. And I think they pray for us...as they are so close to their creator......
God bless,
Philothei

[Akathist]

When Fr. Christopher was here yesterday doing our house blessing, we got to talking about the two miscarriages I had over 10 years ago. He asked if in our Protestant church if we had a funeral service for our children, or had named them. I told him "no."He said that it's becoming more and more common within the Orthodox church for these children to at least be given a name if nothing else, and usually a short service to commemorate their short lives. Well, I thought this was just a really beautiful thing! I mean, it's hard to put into words, but I remember thinking (after I miscarried) that these are my babies, and shouldn't we do something to remember them? In reality though, they were never mentioned again. It's almost like they never existed. (although I have two sonogram pictures tucked away in my keepsakes).

Well, this Orthodox perspective is just so much more comforting. Sure, maybe they were never born, and we never got to hold them, but they ARE alive in heaven with God. They are not gone, so why shouldn't they have a name and be remembered along with my three other children?

Anyway, so hubby and I are planning to choose names for them. That's going to be difficult, since we never knew what genders they were, but Fr. Christopher said that "whatever names you choose will be the ones they were supposed to have." Isn't that just beautiful?

Ok, I'm tearing up now. It's just so neat to be able to acknowledge their existence, you know?

I know some others on here have lost babies. Have any of you done this for your children?

What a beautiful thing. I had a very early pregnancy miscarriage and the gender was never known. Sometimes I wonder if it wasn't a false pregnancy though since it was so early... maybe I tested positive for pregnancy on the home test but wasn't and maybe what I thought was a miscarriage was something else.

In my heart of hearts I believe our child died though.

No one ever speaks of it. No one ever has. It is like it never happened. But I sometimes wonder if I shouldn't be praying for my child in heaven. I have a few times but felt uncomfortable with so many unknows.

I wish I had a somogram of something to remember. I used to have the pregnacy test stick but it faded to blank over time and I threw it away. I didn't think at the time to photograph it.

In my small city once a year the local hospice and hospital organize a memorial service for all families who have had a misscarriage. One of my friends had a misscarriage at 5 months along and she wanted me to go with her. But, again, I have so many unanswered questions.

I think it is a great idea for you to name your children and have a service for them.

[SeekingTheLight]

Oh, my heart goes out to all of you! Obviously this is something that each family has to decide.

It was an aweful time in my life, but now it just feels so nice to be able to acknowledge them. I was talking with my husband about it more tonight, and suddenly we "remembered" that we HAD picked names for them, but when we miscarried, it was like the names just kind of dissolved along with them. So, we will use those names for them. Even though we didn't know their gender at the time, we just naturally picked a girl name for our 1st, and a boy name for our 2nd. Could it be that God knew and nudged us in that direction? Hmmm, I don't know, but we've decided that those two names were supposed to be theirs, so that's what we're going to name them.

[ThePilgrim]

Can you share? It's okay if that's uncomfortable, but I'd love to know what names you picked :-)

John

[SeekingTheLight]

Oh, no, it's no problem. Not being Orthodox at the time, but wanting all our children to have a biblical name we chose the name Bethany Christine for the girl, and Stephen Charles for the boy. Yes, Bethany is the name of a town, but it's still in the Bible. I know it may seem strange, but since our other children will have a patron Saint, we want them to have one too. So, with that in mind, we thought it was fitting that Mary of Bethany be our daughter's, and St. Stephen The Martyr be our son's.

[HowardDean]

I read the book by Jim Bakker's new wife, and she (not Orthodox) had some friends who not only named her abortions, but had tiny caskets for them, which somehow gave her completion.

Myself, I lost one, I beleive it was a girl from the way I carried, and named her.
I hope to meet her in Heaven.
That was in 1994.

[hungrytiger]

May their memory be eternal! :crosseo:

[SeekingTheLight]

May their memory be eternal! :crosseo:
thank you!