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Lanakila
30th October 2003, 05:41 PM
Well this is something that is near and dear to my heart as the mother of 4 kids being brought up in church. I went to a Christian college, and found that many of the young people that were although adult, had been so protected, they actually were having a delayed adolecence. They finally had some freedom being away from parents, and didn't know how to act. I don't want to be so strict in my parenting that my kids do this, but I also don't want to let everything go. This is the hardest job I have ever done, and I was in the Army folks.

Bruce S
30th October 2003, 05:46 PM
Well this is something that is near and dear to my heart as the mother of 4 kids being brought up in church. I went to a Christian college, and found that many of the young people that were although adult, had been so protected, they actually were having a delayed adolecence. They finally had some freedom being away from parents, and didn't know how to act. I don't want to be so strict in my parenting that my kids do this, but I also don't want to let everything go. This is the hardest job I have ever done, and I was in the Army folks.
In my college, Penn State U. Ministers DAUGHTERS were often the wildest gals around.

Repression rebound I used to call it.

Now, I too, as the father of a normal 12 year old son, was concerned. As we have gotten more and more into the Church life, he has changed somewhat too, and former friends, steeped totally in the secular world, are pulling slightly away from him now.

My wife and I were discussing this this morning, before she went off to teach [33 years public gradeschool].

Interesting topic. Let's work on developing the problem, potential solutions, and ways to accomplish this for our children, WITHOUT the "Ministers Daughter" outcome I saw too ofen at PSU.

Lanakila
31st October 2003, 05:24 PM
My kids are the oposite Bruce. The world and its temptations are drawing them. I have a hard time knowing where to draw the line, and when to say this is not worth the fight. If you know what I mean. My husband has finally given in a little on the saggy clothes on my 14 year old son. My kids are good kids (relatively speaking), and I know where they are all the time, so its not like I fear them doing drugs. But church isn't cool anymore, and I am dragging the oldest at this point. (he used to be my most spiritual kid)

Serapha
1st November 2003, 12:27 AM
But church isn't cool anymore, and I am dragging the oldest at this point. (he used to be my most spiritual kid)


Hi there!

:wave:

Churches compete with television, videos, music, computers, and more often than not.... friends and lifestyles.


1. There is more to drawn kids away from church than ever before... and there is a great need to keep the excitement in youth groups. While your child might protest at first, get involved in their youth group to insure that it remains spiritually exciting and a reviving experience for them. Introduce some new and exciting programs where kids can express themselves and not be dominated by authority and "rules" established by the church.

2. Pray.

~malaka~

jbarcher
1st November 2003, 11:44 AM
Hm...while I am studying raising children...facing the world is a whole new issue...I think.

Um...I would talk to my kids on their own, using something like a democratic style. You're training them to be able to go off on their own [in time]. And the "thing" going around (at least in my school) is to be against authority, religion (esp. Christianity). Keep in mind--teach your children wisdom.

And pray for them. Every night. And your spouse as well. I have seen young adults who aren't...uh...they don't live as Christians or understand any of Christianity, after hearing a message about parent's love and Jesus' love that hits home, they ask their parents if they really do pray for them every night. The answer is yes, and it breaks them.

BeanMak
1st November 2003, 12:14 PM
Suggestions from the "things I would have done differently" column.
NO SLEEP OVERS AFTER 6th grade!!! Period No discussion.
Ease up on the dress code- let them pick their own style, Better to have them at church in a hoody and baggy pants and cool with it, than dockers and polo shirt in rebellion.

ej
1st November 2003, 02:59 PM
I don't have children yet, but this is an issue I've already begun to ponder...

I think it's going to be a nigh-on impossible task to get the balance right. I have huge respect for anyone who brings up children, including those who make inevitable mistakes / errors in judgement.

I pray that my children wilreceive the best upbringing I can offer, though I know it will be imperfect.

I pray too, that everone out there with children migth bring them up with a sincere and loving backdrop, so that even when things go wrong, love will prevail, and situations wil always recover :prayer: