Piercings

[JuneMcCormick]

Recently, my niece had two piercings done on either side of her bottom lip- it's horrible! Anyway, her parents dont seem to mind at all but I do know some of our congregation aren't happy about this and I can't get my sister or her husband to realise that this jewlery isn't appropriate, especially for a 17 year old girl!

Should I talk to my niece, since her parents won't listen? I don't want to leave her be and upset more congregation members!

[MsScarlett]

It may be horrible to you and other members, but I really don't know what you could say to her. I vote for ignoring it.

[jds1977]

Is the girl saved? We tend to judge by outer appearances and neglect the heart of the matter. Sometimes the heart of the problem is a problem with the heart. The congregation should be more concerned with God cleaning her on the inside...once that happens, he'll clean the outside.

[rainbowpromises]

Back in my day it was different things that set off the holier than thous. I was on the recieving end of a whole youth group trying to convert me for the weekend. It was the worst experience of my life and kept me away from youth group for the rest of my teen years.

Ignore it! I stand by the first one without sin being the first to cast stones. Ok, so we don't all have lip rings, but what do we have?

[shrewdsnake]

If she's not showing flesh and she isn't really doing anything wrong then I wouldn't worry about it. I think it's a good thing that people from different social groups are coming to church. They are witnessing to a group of people most churches may not approach.

[eldermike]

All people seek after a few basic things from other people.
Significance, Acceptance, Security and Love

Sure, it's all misplaced, Jesus is the answer, but not a single one of us truly lives it out fully. We are all affected by the world and in some manner seek these things from each other.

Young people tend to fear losing these things within groups more than older people. Hence we call ourselves adults. Adults tend to take a light view of the importance placed by young people on these things. Add that all up, it's called the generation gap.

I would ignore it. I would also make sure that I gave her Significance, Security, Love and acceptance. Because If church folks will not, others will.

[HappyChicken]

I would ignore it. I went through a phase like that, with interest in tattoos and piercings. Just be thankful that the piercings can heal up. Tattoos are permanent. I'm sure its just a "phase." I wish I could have my tattoos removed. I hope she does not choose to go down that road. I get to see those nasty things every day for the rest of my life. A constant reminder of my old life.

[WarEagle]

Recently, my niece had two piercings done on either side of her bottom lip- it's horrible! Anyway, her parents dont seem to mind at all but I do know some of our congregation aren't happy about this and I can't get my sister or her husband to realise that this jewlery isn't appropriate, especially for a 17 year old girl!

Should I talk to my niece, since her parents won't listen? I don't want to leave her be and upset more congregation members!

It's stupid, but it's not sinful.

If you want to talk to her, then I wouldn't approach it so much from an "inappropriate" angle, as much as I would talk to her about how the way we present ourself reveals so much about us and how she might want to reconsider the message she sends to others.

[MCGar]

I hope I can put my .02 in? Please take this in the good faith that I intend.

But if your congregation is alienating her because they don't like her peircings then they are shooting themselves in the foot!

I also, honestly became a little offended by your last sentence where you were so worried about upsetting the congregation more. :(
It should be more worriesome to you where your niece is in her faith and if she has the self-confidence and tools to manage with the difficult choices that she is going to now expierance as she gets older.

You, most definitly need to stand by your niece and be there for her in supportive prayer and be the light of Christ to her. Let her know you love her and if you do say anything to her about her piercings it should NOT be because of not wanting to 'rock the boat' with the congregation.

First ask her the whys and hows of her piercings and listen....I mean really listen, ask questions, talk to her. See where she's coming from. You can show her alot by asking questions that can lead her to realize for herself that maybe her piercings might not be the most mature thing.

But if you approach this situation with the intent to first and foremost tell her how wrong she is, she'll end up just being upset and not wanting to talk to you.

Secondly, your congregation may be upset but they need to embrace her as a young Christian amongst their midst and involve her in their prayer and fellowship. Nurture her to realize for herself the physical and superficial is nothing in comparison to the glory of God and in time your niece may come to this realization on her own.

I only wish I had the opportunity to have my niece in my same congregation! I would love to be able to be an example and a guiding light on those difficult choices that young people make.

This can be done with love and support. :)

[Epiphoskei]

There is nothing unbiblical about piercings. There is, however, something unbiblical about judging from appearences.

If older members are upset simply by the notion of piercings, they don't have any biblical support for their view. Your niece has liberty, and piercings are not sins. However, at the same time, the Bible says not to cause such people to stumble by using our liberty, and that is the only angle anyone would be justified in coming at her from to urge her to use discretion in what she does.

[rainbowpromises]

There is nothing unbiblical about piercings. There is, however, something unbiblical about judging from appearences.


You are right that the Bible says nothing about piercings being wrong, however it does have an appearance attached to it in Exodus 21.

Whenever I see someone with pierced ears I thing of someone who has put themselves into volunteer slavery for life. I don't think worse of them. The reference to a pierced ear in Exodus simply states how to mark a lifelong servant.

[TexasSky]

In the days when Exodus was written, ONLY slaves got piercings. Times have changed. They didn't shave or cut their hair back then either.

Don't say anything to your niece.

When I was very young, my family had almost no money. This was because of life-threatening illnesses that my sister suffered from. Despite the fact my parents both had good jobs, and college educations, we were POOR because even 20% of major medical bills can add up to thousands when the medical bills are high enough.

I had grown up being taught that Christ was love. That the REASON Christ died for us was because God loves us.

I had been taught that we should treat everyone with love.

I was not, though, saved yet. I was young.
I was also in the church choir, and I was so excited to be singing in the main worship one Sunday morning.

I put on the best dress I had. A hand made number by a grandmother that I loved with all my heart. It was a beautiful dress, but it was not a fancy, store purchased, tailored dress.

As we rehershed, one woman would move me to the front, and one would shove me in the back. Finally one asked the other why she kept shoving me to the back. They seemed oblivious to the fact that children have ears.

The woman who shoved me to the back explained how the service would be televised, and how embarassing it was to have my dress on the front row. They then began to gossip about possible reasons why I was "dressed so badly" for church.

I slipped out the back door of the choir loft and hid until I saw people leave the church. The next Sunday, I told everyone I was going to "run ahead" to class. Instead, I ran into the front door and out the back to a playground.

I did this for several sundays.

Unbeknowst to me, the window that looked out on that playground was to the Pastor's study. He'd noticed my routine, and he'd wondered why no one else had. So he came out, and asked me if I would like to come into the church, and learn about Jesus.

At that point, I unloaded on him as only an enraged small child can do. I told him that liars are bad people, and that all that stuff about Jesus loving people was a lie. I told him how those ladies had insulted my grandmother, and my father and my mother. I told him that I wasn't going to go listen to them tell stories they didn't believe.

He CRIED. This wonderful, devout man of God knelt in front of a child and WEPT.

Then he picked me up, and swang with me, and told me that God IS love. That my grandparents and parents had told me the TRUTH. That the failure was NOT from God, but from people who are more concerned with silly things than GODLY things.

He took me back to the sunday school, not my own, but one for older children, and asked the teacher to let me join her class because I needed someone who LIVED the LOVE.

A few weeks later that sweet man told me how to meet Christ, and I became a Christian.

Had God not sent that man to his study ... had my ONLY contact been those vicious "she doesn't LOOK good enough" people, I might have had to go YEARS before I trusted the love of Christ.

Don't say anything to your niece.

God loves her soul.

That is ALL that matters to Him.

[Epiphoskei]

Whenever I see someone with pierced ears I thing of someone who has put themselves into volunteer slavery for life. I don't think worse of them. The reference to a pierced ear in Exodus simply states how to mark a lifelong servant.

The thing is, if you and I and twenty other typical american christians were in a room, you and I would probably be the only ones to even know that reference, and you would be the only one to think of it if you saw a piercing. It just doesn't have that meaning to people anymore.

[rainbowpromises]

In the days when Exodus was written, ONLY slaves got piercings. Times have changed. They didn't shave or cut their hair back then either.


If my husband knew he would use that as an excuse for not having shaved or cut his hair in over two years. ^_^

[kiwimac]

These levitical laws were for Israel only not for Christians, not for modern Christians.

[MsScarlett]

TexasSky, that was beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

[rainbowpromises]

These levitical laws were for Israel only not for Christians, not for modern Christians.
However when you read something it kind of sticks in your mind for future thought processes.

[JuneMcCormick]

Thank you for your replies.
I just feel like she's trying to infuriate the congregation though.

[rainbowpromises]

Thank you for your replies.
I just feel like she's trying to infuriate the congregation though.
Or might it be someone in the congregation who made a comment?
No response is the best response when someone is trying to push your buttons. If they get upset it will show her that Christians are intolerant.

[JuneMcCormick]

Or might it be someone in the congregation who made a comment?
No response is the best response when someone is trying to push your buttons. If they get upset it will show her that Christians are intolerant.
The congregation generally feel that she's trying to look like some kind of rock star to annoy them.

[MCGar]

I'm sorry, but you make it seem like this congregation is sitting around gossiping about a 17 girl and how she is trying to antagonize and irritate them.

Are you more upset that your niece has these piercings or are you more upset about the gossip this congregation is bantering about?

Be more concerned with being a Christian witness and loving guidance to your niece than how things look in the eyes of your congregation.

There is alot of assumptions being made about this girl. The only way to find out is to ask her directly, but honestly, you should ask her with love and concern.

[NDNgirl4ever]

Your congregation shouldn't judge her. It doesn't matter what they think. Her parents are okay with it and she's okay with it. It's really not your place to say anything.
I have a tattoo, which I love. I don't care what my church thinks about it. It's between me and God, no one else. It's the same thing with your niece. The issue is between her and God, and it's no one elses business. Piercing's are not a sin. Let it go. If it annoys them, tell them to get over it or ignore it.

[Hisbygrace]

This reminds me of a story I heard one time, it goes something like this;

One Sunday morning a young man walked into church, his clothes were tattered, his hair long and unkept. He wore flip flops on his feet, which seemed to be in need of washing. Everyone looked around when they heard him enter, but no one moved to welcome him. The young man slowly slide into the back pew. After a few moments an old man dressed in a nice pressed suit with tailor made shoes slowly made his way to the back of the church. He stood for a second looking at the young man then held out his hand and slide into the pew beside him.
This is Christian love my friend and it is what God desires from us. He wants us to look pass the outer covering into the inner person, His creation. He alone is judge and He judges the heart of His people.

[jds1977]

Your congregation shouldn't judge her. It doesn't matter what they think. Her parents are okay with it and she's okay with it. It's really not your place to say anything.
I have a tattoo, which I love. I don't care what my church thinks about it. It's between me and God, no one else. It's the same thing with your niece. The issue is between her and God, and it's no one elses business. Piercing's are not a sin. Let it go. If it annoys them, tell them to get over it or ignore it.

Can you give any scripture to support your views?