SaintMarina
2nd December 2007, 11:08 AM
Thank you all for your prayers! Shortly after a few responses to my post, I began to feel calmer and more peaceful. All the anxiousness went away.
My MIL and I sat down and I asked her to tell me her side of the story and also if she had any issue with me to feel free to say so. She was honest in a loving way. I did the same for her. The only thing that I didn't like was her defending her mother and dismissing the comment she made about "God taking our child (oldest and favored) away from us". She tried to explain it away as a "old saying" and what she meant was sometimes God would take what's precious to you. After that I was a little confused. She blames the generation gap for the misunderstanding. I responded by telling her that even if that wasn't what she meant she said some harmful things and attacked me as a mother and that was not ok and old age couldn't excuse all her actions. Wrong is wrong. She got very upset when talking about how upset her mother is and how she misses the great-grandkids. I tried to be as understanding as I could. I told my MIL that Jason had tried to reconcile with his grandmother, but all she wanted to do was explain everything away and stand her ground. I asked her how she expected a reconciliation with her own mother if her mother indeed feels she's done nothing wrong and wants to point fingers.
I told her I wasn't mad at her mother anymore and that her mother needed to start taking some ownership and quit playing the victim.
She felt Jason should have apologized for more. He did apologize for yelling and bring his great-grandfather into it. Our priest told him to apologize for those things, but not for defending his family. I told her he apologized for the above things and he shouldn't apologize for defending his family. The only thing he did wrong that night was yell at them and bring up family. She asked about the church and kept mentioning how she had two grandkids that weren't "saved" and she was just concerned. I told her if she had concern she should have come to us not gone behind our back and talked to Pastor Good-ole Boy who went to Good -ole Boy Baptist theological seminary. I told her our priest has even offered to drive two hours from his home to here if it would help. He knows the concerns being a former Baptist preacher. She didn't seem too up for that. I let her know I understood her concerns and that's ok, but we've chosen this and they were going to have to accept it. She knows that and kept trying to get me to say we were OSAS and I told her we believe in salvation and the Lord has mercy on everyone. I'm just a 2nd year catechumen and I'm not prepared to answer those questions because I'm still learning myself. It went as well as one could've hoped for.
I think we both got some closure...agreed to disagree...and made a pact to be lovingly honest from here on out.:thumbsup:
So...thank you all again for the prayers. It really means a lot to us to have Orthodox friends here.:hug:
Shig
My MIL and I sat down and I asked her to tell me her side of the story and also if she had any issue with me to feel free to say so. She was honest in a loving way. I did the same for her. The only thing that I didn't like was her defending her mother and dismissing the comment she made about "God taking our child (oldest and favored) away from us". She tried to explain it away as a "old saying" and what she meant was sometimes God would take what's precious to you. After that I was a little confused. She blames the generation gap for the misunderstanding. I responded by telling her that even if that wasn't what she meant she said some harmful things and attacked me as a mother and that was not ok and old age couldn't excuse all her actions. Wrong is wrong. She got very upset when talking about how upset her mother is and how she misses the great-grandkids. I tried to be as understanding as I could. I told my MIL that Jason had tried to reconcile with his grandmother, but all she wanted to do was explain everything away and stand her ground. I asked her how she expected a reconciliation with her own mother if her mother indeed feels she's done nothing wrong and wants to point fingers.
I told her I wasn't mad at her mother anymore and that her mother needed to start taking some ownership and quit playing the victim.
She felt Jason should have apologized for more. He did apologize for yelling and bring his great-grandfather into it. Our priest told him to apologize for those things, but not for defending his family. I told her he apologized for the above things and he shouldn't apologize for defending his family. The only thing he did wrong that night was yell at them and bring up family. She asked about the church and kept mentioning how she had two grandkids that weren't "saved" and she was just concerned. I told her if she had concern she should have come to us not gone behind our back and talked to Pastor Good-ole Boy who went to Good -ole Boy Baptist theological seminary. I told her our priest has even offered to drive two hours from his home to here if it would help. He knows the concerns being a former Baptist preacher. She didn't seem too up for that. I let her know I understood her concerns and that's ok, but we've chosen this and they were going to have to accept it. She knows that and kept trying to get me to say we were OSAS and I told her we believe in salvation and the Lord has mercy on everyone. I'm just a 2nd year catechumen and I'm not prepared to answer those questions because I'm still learning myself. It went as well as one could've hoped for.
I think we both got some closure...agreed to disagree...and made a pact to be lovingly honest from here on out.:thumbsup:
So...thank you all again for the prayers. It really means a lot to us to have Orthodox friends here.:hug:
Shig