SaintMarina
12th November 2007, 12:42 PM
It's been over a month since I posted a thread here asking for your prayers regarding the situation with our family and my MIL and GMIL. ( And thank you so much for your prayers for us, we appreciate it more than you know :hug:)
I was going to update you all on what has transpired since then:
My MIL called my husband the evening of Oct. 31st...the first contact that was made since the Oct 6 attack. She gave him an apology and immediately asked if she could come over and give our eldest daughter a Halloween gift. He told her we were planning on going to church that night and he needed to have a sit down talk with her and his grandmother before they do any visiting in our home again.
He went this past Saturday to talk to them and stayed for over 6 hours. He talked to his father right after he arrived. His father said he had no issue with us and how we're raising our family and told my husband he thought we were doing a good job.
Then he talked with his mother. He started the conversation off with the Church. She had basic questions regarding Mary...icons...priests. He told me that part went ok. He also "laid down the law" so to speak, and told them they were going to have to respect what we were doing even if she didn't approve of it if they wanted a relationship with us and their grandchildren. He also told her about taking our daughter to the doctor after they made accusations that I had not taken care of my daughter only for the doctor to look at her, laugh, and say "She looks normal to me!". His mother gave one of her looks and said she was happy she had been given a good bill of health.
He asked her when she was "backing up" his grandmother when she accused me of brainwashing him, she blamed her emotions and never really apologized for it. She just said she wished things wouldn't have been said and she wished she could do it over again. Toward the end of the conversation she defended her mother saying she was old and she says things before she thinks. (This woman to be in her near 70's is pretty active and has a clear mind...she's not in a mental "fog" )
That made my husband angry, he told her that she could not excuse her mother for what she did and couldn't justify it by old age or anything else.
Then he told her he did owe his grandmother an apology for bringing up her father and using an inappropriate tone with her. When his grandmother walked from her house next door she hugged my husband, told him she loved him, and my husband preceded to tell her he loved her too, but wanted her to understand what she did was out of line and wrong. He then said he was sorry for what he said regarding her father and the tone he used. She went on to justify what she said that night and started bringing all that up again! That infuriated my husband. He told her he came over to make things right, and apologize for what he said and all she wanted to do was bring that junk up all over again. He asked her about the accusations thrown at his wife and why she said what she did ....all his grandmother could do was defend what she said. :o My husband was so mad he just walked out before he lost it. His mother ran out after him and started apologizing and defending her mother again. He told her that she needed to tell her mother that if she wants a relationship with him, me, and her GGkids that she needed to respect what we were doing and comply with what we wanted if she wanted to be a part of our lives.
He followed his mother to the door, and she told his grandmother verbatim what my husband said and all she could do was glare at her daughter. After seeing that she's unwilling to reconcile my husband left. :sigh:
His mother wants to reconcile with me...I should be open to this as my priest said 4 weeks ago, but I'd almost rather eat mud to be honest...after seeing that she woudln't really apologize to my husband for accusing me of brainwashing him, seemed to be almost disappointed that my daughter was found to be healthy, and defends her mother for everything she said....I feel MORE relunctant to reconcile with her. I don't trust her. :|
I continue to pray for her and GMIL and for the healing of this relationship.
If you could spare just one prayer for us that would mean more than anything.
Thanks,
Shig
I was going to update you all on what has transpired since then:
My MIL called my husband the evening of Oct. 31st...the first contact that was made since the Oct 6 attack. She gave him an apology and immediately asked if she could come over and give our eldest daughter a Halloween gift. He told her we were planning on going to church that night and he needed to have a sit down talk with her and his grandmother before they do any visiting in our home again.
He went this past Saturday to talk to them and stayed for over 6 hours. He talked to his father right after he arrived. His father said he had no issue with us and how we're raising our family and told my husband he thought we were doing a good job.
Then he talked with his mother. He started the conversation off with the Church. She had basic questions regarding Mary...icons...priests. He told me that part went ok. He also "laid down the law" so to speak, and told them they were going to have to respect what we were doing even if she didn't approve of it if they wanted a relationship with us and their grandchildren. He also told her about taking our daughter to the doctor after they made accusations that I had not taken care of my daughter only for the doctor to look at her, laugh, and say "She looks normal to me!". His mother gave one of her looks and said she was happy she had been given a good bill of health.
He asked her when she was "backing up" his grandmother when she accused me of brainwashing him, she blamed her emotions and never really apologized for it. She just said she wished things wouldn't have been said and she wished she could do it over again. Toward the end of the conversation she defended her mother saying she was old and she says things before she thinks. (This woman to be in her near 70's is pretty active and has a clear mind...she's not in a mental "fog" )
That made my husband angry, he told her that she could not excuse her mother for what she did and couldn't justify it by old age or anything else.
Then he told her he did owe his grandmother an apology for bringing up her father and using an inappropriate tone with her. When his grandmother walked from her house next door she hugged my husband, told him she loved him, and my husband preceded to tell her he loved her too, but wanted her to understand what she did was out of line and wrong. He then said he was sorry for what he said regarding her father and the tone he used. She went on to justify what she said that night and started bringing all that up again! That infuriated my husband. He told her he came over to make things right, and apologize for what he said and all she wanted to do was bring that junk up all over again. He asked her about the accusations thrown at his wife and why she said what she did ....all his grandmother could do was defend what she said. :o My husband was so mad he just walked out before he lost it. His mother ran out after him and started apologizing and defending her mother again. He told her that she needed to tell her mother that if she wants a relationship with him, me, and her GGkids that she needed to respect what we were doing and comply with what we wanted if she wanted to be a part of our lives.
He followed his mother to the door, and she told his grandmother verbatim what my husband said and all she could do was glare at her daughter. After seeing that she's unwilling to reconcile my husband left. :sigh:
His mother wants to reconcile with me...I should be open to this as my priest said 4 weeks ago, but I'd almost rather eat mud to be honest...after seeing that she woudln't really apologize to my husband for accusing me of brainwashing him, seemed to be almost disappointed that my daughter was found to be healthy, and defends her mother for everything she said....I feel MORE relunctant to reconcile with her. I don't trust her. :|
I continue to pray for her and GMIL and for the healing of this relationship.
If you could spare just one prayer for us that would mean more than anything.
Thanks,
Shig