Comedy Corner

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Always good to have a place to go for a laugh! :D

http://img148.imageshack.us/img148/2172/128341086610156250isawznp1.jpg

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*First Sermon* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/becekgmg_tljzhvxh.html)

At his first service, the new preachers sermon was extremely long and dull. As he preached, he drank from pitcher of water until it was completely gone.

After the service, someone asked an old woman of the church, "How did you like the new pastor?"

"Fine," she said, "but he's the first windmill I ever saw that was run by water."

:P

[BelindaP]

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife awoke, she looked out the window, and, sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for Ed.

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Ed was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary, and his wife was really angry. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than six seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!"

The next morning Ed got up early and left for work. When his wife awoke, she looked out the window, and, sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, she put on her robe and ran out to the driveway and brought the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand-new bathroom scale.

Ed has been missing since Friday. Please pray for Ed.
^_^ :thumbsup:

[Avatar]

An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bath suite and a Jacuzzi. As they looked around, the old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied. "This is Heaven."

Next, they went out in the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home bordered. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week, the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is heaven, you play for free." Next, they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!" St. Peter replied, with some exasperation. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.

St. Peter lectured, "That's the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick either. This is, after all, Heaven." With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and screaming wildly. St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"

[BelindaP]

Rofl!! ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

^_^

[Athene]

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week count, St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asked the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week count, St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asked the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."

^_^ ^_^ ^_^

[Rochir]

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week count, St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asked the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."


^_^ WAHAHHAHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAH^_^ That is soooo baaaad!^_^

[£amb]

I saw this picture and could not stop laughing....if it's crude then I'll delete it....anyway....



http://www.funny-potato.com/images/halloween/decorative-pumpkin.jpg

[CelticGrace]

For Trekki, since she started this hilarious thread :D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v131/LilTxAngl83/128374878103638750whadyoumeanz.jpg

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

For Trekki, since she started this hilarious thread :D

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v131/LilTxAngl83/128374878103638750whadyoumeanz.jpg
I SAW that one and almost posted it! :clap: I saved it too. :D :hug:

[longhair75]

Do you know why elephants are large, grey and wrinkled?


If they were small, white and smooth they would be aspirin.

[Avatar]

http://img172.imageshack.us/img172/3892/catoi0.jpg

[CelticGrace]

I SAW that one and almost posted it! :clap: I saved it too. :D :hug:
(thought I'd already responded to this post but apparently I didn't push "post reply" ^_^)

I have this one as my background on my computer :D Last night DH & I were watching ST: Generations and ST: First Contact and there's one scene (I can't remember where it is or in which movie) where Patrick Stewart looked exactly like that cat... so freaky! LOL

[Rowan]

What's a mummy's favorite type of music?

Wrap.

((I know, I know :P))

[BelindaP]

Boo, hiss. :P :Kawaii:

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*Stuff You Don't Want To Hear From Tech Support* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/vbtbcztg_ooxptiut.html)

"Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?"

"...that's right, not even McGyver could fix it."

"Looks like you're gonna need some new dilythium crystals, Cap'n."

"Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the FTC."

"We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery."

"I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that."

"In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect."

"Okay, turn to page 523 in your copy of Dianetics."


:D

[BelindaP]

Hahahaha!

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*Lab Mix* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/icxfcegx_lhgdwzsw.html)

This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Out of the corner of his eye, the professor observed what the student was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, he asked the student to first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.

Puzzled, the student followed after him to ask the purpose of this action.

"It will give me time to run away," said the professor.

^_^

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

http://img204.imageshack.us/img204/5928/ch071025io3.gif

[BelindaP]

*Lab Mix* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/icxfcegx_lhgdwzsw.html)

This was a story told to us by our chemistry master at school. A student wished to make some potassium hydroxide solution (aqueous) and decided to throw a large lump of potassium into a bucket of water.

Out of the corner of his eye, the professor observed what the student was about to do and hurried over. After confirming this was what was intended, he asked the student to first to stir the water in the bucket for five minutes before adding the potassium.

Puzzled, the student followed after him to ask the purpose of this action.

"It will give me time to run away," said the professor.

^_^


Hehe. For the not-so-chemically-inclined, potassium will make a pretty loud boom, crater and a fire if thrown in water. ;)

[BelindaP]

Here's another chemistry one--a little limerick my dad used to say.

Tommy was a chemist
But Tommy is no more
For what Tommy thought was H2O
was H2SO4.

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

Here's another chemistry one--a little limerick my dad used to say.

Tommy was a chemist
But Tommy is no more
For what Tommy thought was H2O
was H2SO4.
^_^

[karen freeinchristman]

http://asbojesus.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/churchpub.jpg

[karen freeinchristman]

http://asbojesus.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/coping2.jpg

[pgp_protector]

Tagging for the laughs.

[Michie]

(http://www.reverendfun.com/index.php?date=20071022)http://www.reverendfun.com/add_toon_info.php?date=20071026&language=en

[Michie]

Because I just love this one-


(http://www.reverendfun.com/index.php?date=20060828)http://www.reverendfun.com/add_toon_info.php?date=20060829&language=en

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

^_^

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*Insured Voice* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/jdavvacd_xairkcsk.html)

A cantor, the man who sings the prayers at a synagogue, brags before his congregation in a booming, bellowing voice: "Two years ago I insured my voice with Lloyds of London for $750,000." There is a hushed and awed silence in the crowded room. Suddenly, from the back of the room, the quiet, nasal voice of an elderly woman is heard, "So what did you do with the money?

:eek: :P

[BelindaP]

That was a good one.

[stumpjumper]

This was an email I received from my Brother in Law and it's a total riot:

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.

This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County.

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.!
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted.
The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.
All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2006.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.
Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.
******************************************************************************

Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:

Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has been handed to me to respond to.
I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run,
Pennsylvania.
A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skilful use of natures building materials "debris."
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose.
I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers.
(2) Or do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued.
Perhaps, we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301,Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns.
My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation?
The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect.
In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.
If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream.
They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond.
If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006?
The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/ harass them then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area.
It is the bears!
Bears are actually defecating in our woods.
I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step!
The bears are not careful where they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU.

RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS.

[Avatar]

This was an email I received from my Brother in Law and it's a total riot:
Man! That Ryan DeVries guy is AWESOME! ^_^

[shrewdsnake]

I would love to read the dam office's response. :)

[BelindaP]

This one is a bit dated, but I still chuckle when I read it:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

VICE PRESIDENT GORE—I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them.

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH—I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road.

SENATOR LIEBERMAN—I believe that every chicken has the right to worship their God in Their own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in their own way.

VICE PRESIDENT CHENEY—Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself.

RALPH NADER—Chickens are misled by the evil tire makers into believing there is a road. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens.

PAT BUCHANAN—To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

JERRY FALWELL—Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it-the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become Gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side." That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It's as plain and simple as that.

DR. SEUSS—Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY—To die. In the rain.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.—I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA—In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

ARISTOTLE—It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX—It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN—This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RONALD REAGAN—What chicken?

CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK—To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER—You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

FREUD—The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES—I have just released eChicken 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your Checkbook -and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN—Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON—I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by "chicken"? Could you define "chicken" please?

GEORGE H W BUSH—I don't think I should have to answer that question.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN—The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

THE BIBLE—And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there Was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS—I missed one?

[BelindaP]

And then there is this one:

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, Texas:
THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):

· A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house four inches deep.
· If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
· A three-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
· If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42‑pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a superman cape. It is strong enough however to spread paint on all four walls of a 20- by 20-foot room.
· You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
· When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh-oh", it's already too late.
· Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
· A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint-rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.
· Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year old.
· Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.
· Super-glue is forever.
· No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
· VCRs do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
· Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
· Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise while driving.
· You probably do not want to know what the odor is.
· Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a five-minute response time.
· The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

[Avatar]

lol!

· Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens. The fire department in Austin has a five-minute response time.

I found this out the hard way. I used to use my microwave to time my boiling egss - I like them just right, and was too lazy to buy an egg timer. Found out this was a bad idea when it almost exploded one day. Had to buy a new microwave and a new cordless phone. ^_^

Edit: And an egg timer. :)

[Jim47]

Two priests died at the same time and met Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter said, "I'd like to get you guys in now, but our computer is down. You'll have to go back to Earth for about a week, but you can't go back as priests. So what else would you like to be?"

The first priest says, "I've always wanted to be an eagle, soaring above the Rocky Mountains."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and off flies the first priest.

The second priest mulls this over for a moment and asks, "Will any of this week count, St. Peter?"

"No, I told you the computer's down. There's no way we can keep track of what you're doing."

"In that case," says the second priest, "I've always wanted to be a stud."

"So be it," says St. Peter, and the second priest disappears.

A week goes by, the computer is fixed, and the Lord tells St. Peter to recall the two priests. "Will you have any trouble locating them?" He asks.

"The first one should be easy," says St. Peter. "He's somewhere over the Rockies, flying with the eagles. But the second one could prove to be more difficult."

"Why?" asked the Lord.

"He's on a snow tire, somewhere in North Dakota."



I'll bet he was in for a big disappointment ^_^



Oh yeah, Hi gang :wave:

I finally made it here, read 5 stories, and now I have two more PMs to answer in that time frame :doh: be back later :wave:

[BelindaP]

Welcome, Jim. :hug:

[Jim47]

Hehe. For the not-so-chemically-inclined, potassium will make a pretty loud boom, crater and a fire if thrown in water. ;)


Is that why my tummy always hurts after taking my vitamnins :doh:

[Jim47]

An unbeliever was walking through the woods.

"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What beautiful animals"!
He said to himself.


As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly charge towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder & saw that
the bear was closing in on him.

He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even closer. He tripped & fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but
saw that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw & raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh My God!"



Time Stopped.

The bear froze.

The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to cosmic accident." "Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you could make the
Bear a Christian"?



"Very Well," said the voice.



The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

[shrewdsnake]

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 BC - "Here, eat this root."
1000 BC - "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
1850 AD - "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 AD - "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 AD - "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 AD - "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

[~*Lady Trekki*~]

*Hair Mission* (http://www.crosswalkmail.com/mxlnnuqi_ajelkutk.html)

In dire need of a beauty make-over, I went to my salon with a fashion magazine photo of a gorgeous, young, lustrous-haired model. I showed the stylist the trendy new cut I wanted and settled into the chair as he began humming a catchy tune and got to work on my thin, graying hair.

I was delighted by his cheerful attitude until I recognized the melody.

It was the theme from "Mission: Impossible."

:doh: ^_^