need advice: one more day to decide

[rainbowbright]

My son is not liking his school at all. He said when he goes to Mass they encourage him to take communion and cross himself the other way. He is constantly getting picked on by the other children because he is so difficult to tallk to (my hisband and I still haven't figured out how to communicate with him) and has his head constantly stuck in another world (if they are talking about the five senses, he is talking about diesel trains and only talks of Thomas the engine). However he is getting excellent education and he is even getting extra help with a school counselor and I have also noticed he is doing much better when it comes to his faith- he always runs up to our icon corner when I pray and he gets out his children's prayer book and he asks a lot more questions about God.

I found this excellent home school program called k12 and it's actully public school but is taught at home. There is a teacher involved and most of the work is done online. I could get my son back into violin and that would count as part of his curriculum, However, with four small kids at home all tye time, I don't know if I would be able to handle it and I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to teach him well enough especailly because I have a small learning disability and didn't do well in elementary school myself. He said he would be much happier with this arrangement, but then again I think he would be unhappy with anything he's involved in. I have to decide by tomorrow and I just need some advice.
Thanks

[Protoevangel]

Wow, I wish I could offer something useful. My first thought is to talk to the school, and ensure they understand that he is not to take communion under any circumstance (I find it shocking that they would be encouraging it), and that they should lay off him about which way he crosses himself.

As far as the kids go, kids will be cruel. I teach my children to pray for the bullies. Life is just as cruel, and it is much easier to learn to deal with it as a child, with parental support and encouragement.

I don't know all the details of your situation, but these are the first things that come to my mind.

May God the Trinity, the Theotokos, your Guardian Angels, and the Saints guide you and your family in making this decision
Dan

[Friul]

Wow, I wish I could offer something useful. My first thought is to talk to the school, and ensure they understand that he is not to take communion under any circumstance (I find it shocking that they would be encouraging it), and that they should lay off him about which way he crosses himself.

I find that odd too. I went to a Roman Catholic school, and due to the Eastern Rite Catholics, the way you crossed did not matter. Also with communion, we had many Protestants and a few Orthodox members at school, and they were instructed that the most they could receive is a blessing if they wished, but could not take the Eucharist.

[rainbowbright]

Thanks, that's really insightful advice. I just don't know what to do because I don't want to make a mistake of taking him out of this very good school, but on the other hand, I almost feel like it's a duty for me to educate him. I am now in the processnof filling out the info for the homeschooling, but I don't know if I can hit the button just yet- I'm so conflicted

[Matrona]

I would bring him home. If you've talked to them already about the communion thing, they aren't going to listen to you a second time, and they have already crossed the line.

[Shubunkin]

Just from what I read in your posts, the positives outweigh the negatives for you to homeschool. You say you had trouble in school, and I think this is a perfect opportunity to learn what you missed, as well, in addition to understanding any troubles your son would have. My sister homeschooled her four children, and the preschool kids can participate in this homeschooling too, and they may even be interested in what is going on. Of course, the final decision is yours, but I see a lot of positives in this course for you.

[Orthosdoxa]

Tough decision. Can grandma or anyone help with the babies while you help your son with homeschool lessons?

[Xpycoctomos]

I was just as shocked ast Proto and Friul. Seems very uncharcteristic of Catholics. Who are "they"? The kids. Kids will do whatever they do. They're also going to pressure you My opinion kind of sides with that of cygne, but of course you know the situation better than we do.

[Dorothea]

Aww, I'm sorry your son is having these problems with the school forcing him to do such things. :( If I were you, I'd pull him out and try a different Christian school or homeschool. My first choice would be another Christian school, personally, only because I don't have the patience and my sons are too social, wanting to be with other kids, to homeschool. I'd recommend St. Stephen's, but I know you don't agree with their church.

[rainbowbright]

Thanks everyone. I went ahead and enrolled him, I just need to fax some papers and have my son do the placement test and we'll see if he gets admitted. I know this will make him happy for the time being. We did write a letter to his teachers about correcting him when he crosses himself, but didn't say anything to the school about not giving my son communion because that is just what he says; he tends to overstate somethings and they told us that they don't give kids communion until they're seven, but I will still probably bring it up if my son doesn't get excepted to the virtual academy.

[Dorothea]

I found this excellent home school program called k12 and it's actully public school but is taught at home. There is a teacher involved and most of the work is done online. I could get my son back into violin and that would count as part of his curriculum, However, with four small kids at home all tye time, I don't know if I would be able to handle it and I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to teach him well enough especailly because I have a small learning disability and didn't do well in elementary school myself. He said he would be much happier with this arrangement, but then again I think he would be unhappy with anything he's involved in. I have to decide by tomorrow and I just need some advice.
Thanks

One of my good friends has started with that program this year. She started Aug. 28. :)

[Shubunkin]

Another thought is to wait a year. A lot can happen in a year, but maybe now is not the time. Maybe later? Maybe things will become smoother in a year's time. Your little ones will be a year older, and all that. Just a thought.

[Shubunkin]

Thanks everyone. I went ahead and enrolled him, I just need to fax some papers and have my son do the placement test and we'll see if he gets admitted. I know this will make him happy for the time being. We did write a letter to his teachers about correcting him when he crosses himself, but didn't say anything to the school about not giving my son communion because that is just what he says; he tends to overstate somethings and they told us that they don't give kids communion until they're seven, but I will still probably bring it up if my son doesn't get excepted to the virtual academy.
I do hope it works out for you. :crosseo:

[rainbowbright]

I have some friends that used to go to my parish that have their two kids in it and they had told me about it so I did some research. We've been dragging about a decision all this time because we just weren't sure, but I called them back and said we'll go ahead and do it. Tomorrow is the absolute last day to enroll, so now we're getting things done in a rush. MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!! Either that or think I'm crazy (of course they thought of that when I became Orthodox so I don't think I can get any crazier according to them).

[Orthosdoxa]

MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!!

But you're not their baby anymore. You have to do what is best for YOUR baby. They are not in any right to criticize - you have left them and cleaved to your husband and all that. This is his and your decision.

(Sorry, this is one of my sore points - my mom is always screeching at me that I'd "better not even THINK about" having any more kids, and it is sooooo not her place to decide things for MY family. It drives me nuts. :mad: )

[Shubunkin]

My sister homeschools her kids. They are VERY social, going on many field trips with other homeschooled kids. That is a misconception of many people that homeschooled kids are not socialized. It's the opposite.

[skoi]

We used a K12 charter school for 1 1/2 years with our oldest child. The K12 curriculum is great, especially for history, which is my sticking point with every curriculum. It was too advanced for our son when he started kindergarten, and there was daily assessment, and if he didn't get all the questions right, he'd flip out. He was a late reader, an overall late bloomer in academics, but has passed grade level in reading and math, so it evened out. He's also very dreamy, has trouble staying on task, but has done very well at home even with the addition of our adopted daughter and having big sister kicking around too.

If you're unsure about your teaching abilities, a K12 charter is a great option because you have a teacher, if you need special ed services they provide it, etc. If you're adjusted to working within a school year framework, then it's even better. We homeschooled previously, year around, so it was a adjustment to fit in our time Sept-June. If we could afford the K12 curriculum without the charter school involvement, we'd use it in a heartbeat. I just don't like the school year schedule, needing permission for vacations (which we take when we want since we can school year around), and the fact that their language offerings are limited.

We'll be praying for you and if you decide to pursue the K12 option or have general homeschooling questions, feel free to pm or email me. We've been homeschooling for 9 years now.

Julie

[rainbowbright]

We used a K12 charter school for 1 1/2 years with our oldest child. The K12 curriculum is great, especially for history, which is my sticking point with every curriculum. It was too advanced for our son when he started kindergarten, and there was daily assessment, and if he didn't get all the questions right, he'd flip out. He was a late reader, an overall late bloomer in academics, but has passed grade level in reading and math, so it evened out. He's also very dreamy, has trouble staying on task, but has done very well at home even with the addition of our adopted daughter and having big sister kicking around too.

If you're unsure about your teaching abilities, a K12 charter is a great option because you have a teacher, if you need special ed services they provide it, etc. If you're adjusted to working within a school year framework, then it's even better. We homeschooled previously, year around, so it was a adjustment to fit in our time Sept-June. If we could afford the K12 curriculum without the charter school involvement, we'd use it in a heartbeat. I just don't like the school year schedule, needing permission for vacations (which we take when we want since we can school year around), and the fact that their language offerings are limited.

We'll be praying for you and if you decide to pursue the K12 option or have general homeschooling questions, feel free to pm or email me. We've been homeschooling for 9 years now.

Julie
I am afraid the curriculum might be too advanced for him, especially in math, but he took the placement test and was a lot smarter than I had ever imagined. I know when the math gets harder I will have to have my husband step in and help because me and math just don't get along.

Orthodoxa: that's exactly what my in-laws say: We shouldn't have four children because we can't afford them and by golly if we have anymore.......... It makes me so mad, it's not like we can take them back.

[Orthosdoxa]

Orthodoxa: that's exactly what my in-laws say: We shouldn't have four children because we can't afford them and by golly if we have anymore.......... It makes me so mad, it's not like we can take them back.

That's just wrong. Who is ANYONE to tell anyone whether they can or should have kids or not? Of course, as you can see from another thread on here, there a plenty of rich white liberals who want to dictate that to poor brown people...

I usually just steam inside when my mom gets on, 'Well, I sure hope you don't have any more kids, blah blah blah'... one of these days I'm probably going to blast back. Yikes.

[skoi]

I guess we're lucky. Since we converted, barely anyone talks to us anymore. ;) Of course they talk about us, but...

[skoi]

II know when the math gets harder I will have to have my husband step in and help because me and math just don't get along.

I don't know. I used to think that about science, but we're doing fine. My husband does have to do all the experiments involving electricity/wire/circuitry. I think I have some sort of weird natural imbalance that makes them come out wrong.

As for the testing- I was really surprised by how much our son knows when I ask him verbally, versus how it shows up when he writes. He can spell very well when I say, "spell..." whatever word. But if he writes it down, especially in context of a sentence, he'll spell it wrong. Makes me nuts. We're going to talk to a reading specialist about it.

That said, if we had a good Orthodox school around, we'd have them there.

[Xpycoctomos]

But you're not their baby anymore. You have to do what is best for YOUR baby. They are not in any right to criticize - you have left them and cleaved to your husband and all that. This is his and your decision.

(Sorry, this is one of my sore points - my mom is always screeching at me that I'd "better not even THINK about" having any more kids, and it is sooooo not her place to decide things for MY family. It drives me nuts. :mad: )
so true.

[Xpycoctomos]

My sister homeschools her kids. They are VERY social, going on many field trips with other homeschooled kids. That is a misconception of many people that homeschooled kids are not socialized. It's the opposite.
I believe this is true. I mean, it makes sense. It's just that every homeschooled person I have met IN PERSON has been wierd except for one, and I've met a lot. But, this is prejudice I have based purely off of half-baked logic and anecdotal "evidence".

Honestly though, I think whether you home-school your child or send them to public school or catholic school or whatever, it's all about how you raise them and instill integrity in them.

I teach at a public school (and no, I don't take the criticisms personally, although i do think people tend to over-generalize and assume things just as I admittedly do with homeschooling) and I see kids of all different backgrounds. I will say this, I am not always most impressed with the 4.0 kids or even the kids who prove themselves to be really smart (regardless of their grade). What I'm impressed by is integrity and self-confidence. The kids that you know will go far in life simply because they respect other people and are respectFUL to other people. I only find a few of these kids every year and when you meet the parents, you can tell why. This is what matters. Sure, education matters nad critical thinking matters a lot. But in the end, if a kid grows up and stops going to church (and it wasn't becuase of any life-changing moment he had but just kind of drifted off into status-quo land) it won't be the public schools faults (look, the relativism is all around us no matter what) but the parents faults. My priest said when parents come to him embarrassed that their kids don't come to Church anymore, he doesn't ask them how they formally educated them, but he asks them if you instilled in them a life of prayer. He usually gets half answers or embarrassed looks.

Yeah, I don't want to send my kid to a Protestant school becuase I don't want them subjected to serious misinformation or having them feel bad for what they believe in... but in the end what matters is what's going on at home. Who's rasing them? I can tell you this, no one at my school is rasing them. Some of us might be trying to indocrinate them with relativism... but this is only effective if the parents at home are leaving the slate blank.

Surely there are exceptions and some kids will inexplicably take a wrong turn and that's sad, but in the end, I don't know that the formal education plays as big a role in their spiritual success.

Just some thoughts,

Xpy

[Thekla]

I am a homeschooling math-idiot. I have also learned that God will provide you with what you need. We have one child who "gets math" easily -- it was that year (this child's first in homeschooling) that I became "more advanced" in math, too. Without "trying".

Our (now 16 yr. old) son was a lousy speller (10th percentile) at the start (testing @ 9). He also was a late reader. Now, I can't get his nose out of books (his favorite authors are Dumas, RL Stevenson, and V. Hugo; due to his admiration of Stevenson, he keeps his hair long :) ). The more he read, the more his spelling improved. Our other late reader (now 9), spent his summer "bathed" in Asterix and Tin-tin comics. Now he's reading novels.

I say this as encouragement -- God will provide.

(And we got the more kids line a lot, too ^_^. At the grocery store with 5 of the children, the shopper behind us in line remarked "Wow ! You've got your own little population explosion goin' . ^_^)

[rainbowbright]

(And we got the more kids line a lot, too ^_^. At the grocery store with 5 of the children, the shopper behind us in line remarked "Wow ! You've got your own little population explosion goin' . ^_^)

I get people asking me if all my kids come from the same father and if I am married because apparently I look like I'm 17 and they don't believe me when I tell them I've been married seven years

[Thekla]

I get people asking me if all my kids come from the same father and if I am married because apparently I look like I'm 17 and they don't believe me when I tell them I've been married seven years
yeah -- we are constantly asked (by non-Orthodox) if all our children have "the same parents" :doh:

yet another reason I'm glad we're Orthodox :thumbsup:

and prayers for your beginning homeschooling !

[MariaRegina]

Most homeschooled children whom I have met have good social skills and are better behaved that public school children.

My son was homeschooled too, and he is very kind.

[paleodoxy]

I guess we're lucky. Since we converted, barely anyone talks to us anymore. ;) Of course they talk about us, but...

Boy...how I can relate to this! lol

[Dorothea]

Yes, homeschooling is very good if you're good at teaching it. LOL I knew a few families that homeschooled, and their children were exceptionally bright, courteous, mature and respectful to adults and all people. I appreciated that. I admire those who can and do homeschool. It's a great commitment and really a "job." It's true that the socialization issue is not true, unless the homeschool parents choose the closed-up, shelter my kids from everything approach, which isn't healthy, imo. But I do know that the homeschooled kids get plenty of socializing through sports activities, boyscouts/girl scouts, taking some other extra curricular activity, and their church youth groups and such.

[skoi]

I think sometimes my kids get too much socialization. I know if they were going to school outside of the house, they wouldn't be playing on two soccer teams, a basketball team, going to this and that.

They also wouldn't be able to go to Liturgy on feast days, or be getting to weeknight Vespers as much. That would be a blow to our son, who just started altar serving and loves it. It's really helped his overall at home behavior and school performance as well. Not to mention they get to help the older ladies cook for food festival, etc.

The biggest drawback for me is loss of income. If they were in school, I'd be working full time, and we'd have two incomes instead of one, which is a social worker income.

[rainbowbright]

I work in a nursing home on the weekends. I just got my CNA license after seven years, so I can actually make pretty decent pay and it makes up for me not working,w hich I haven't done in five years anyway

[rainbowbright]

Okay, my son was just excepted into the charter school. So I guess until next June I will be losing weight and all my hair will be falling out from sheer exhaustion. I also don't really have a clue about what I just did. I guess it will take some type of adjustment

[paleodoxy]

I admire your courage. God will bless your sacrifice, don't worry. Our prayers are with you.

[skoi]

K12 is a great curriculum. He'll learn a lot.

We'll be praying for you.

[Xpycoctomos]

Okay, my son was just excepted into the charter school. So I guess until next June I will be losing weight and all my hair will be falling out from sheer exhaustion. I also don't really have a clue about what I just did. I guess it will take some type of adjustment
God will definitely see you through this. So, you homeschool THROUGH a charter school? Like, do they over see you (curriculum-wise) and your child's progress?

Xpy

[rainbowbright]

God will definitely see you through this. So, you homeschool THROUGH a charter school? Like, do they over see you (curriculum-wise) and your child's progress?

Xpy

Yes, they have a teacher that oversees the child's progress so if I need help with something, I can call the teacher and they even have daily attendance. My son is only required to do three hours a day and we can do it any time at all during the day.

[Orthosdoxa]

More and more states are using a "public school at home" model. I have a divorced friend - two of her three children are mentally disabled, and were going through hell in the public school. She's working, AND using the PSAH virtual academy to teach all of them at home. Most of her hair has fallen out too ;) but she's making it work somehow. So can you.

I truly think we want to do the PSAH, too. Idaho has a WONDERFUL program for it, and we might want to move there at some point anyway, so the kids would be closer to their cousins.

[rainbowbright]

Wow, I couldn't imagine being divorced and going through this. I'm not sure I would be able to home school my youngest when the time comes because she has been diagnosed with a learning disability a long with a physical disability and I would want her to get the right kind of help that I don't think I would be capable of.

[Orthosdoxa]

she has been diagnosed with a learning disability a long with a physical disability

You don't mean one of the twins? They're too young to be diagnosed like that... (you said "youngest" so I wasn't sure)

It can still work - she can get a lot from you, then go to the Sped part of the public school for specialized help, part of the day. The Idaho program, IINM, will even send someone to your home - they have to, as it's part of the public school program.

[skoi]

I would seriously consider the public school at home charter thing myself, and would do it if we weren't so used to homeschooling and being in charge of our schedule.

And they do have to provide special ed services because your child is enrolled in a public school. It's just at home.

[rainbowbright]

You don't mean one of the twins? They're too young to be diagnosed like that... (you said "youngest" so I wasn't sure)

It can still work - she can get a lot from you, then go to the Sped part of the public school for specialized help, part of the day. The Idaho program, IINM, will even send someone to your home - they have to, as it's part of the public school program.
Yes, twin b is developmentally behind by five months because she has stiff legs because she didn't get enough nutrients in utero (youu can tell by looking at her brother that he stole them all)and her OT diagnosed her with sensory progression disorder, She is really making a loty of progress with her therapy and it will help her with her disorder, but she may still have a learning disability.

[Orthosdoxa]

:scratch:

I googled "sensory progression disorder" and didn't get even one hit. :confused:

That is REALLY early to make a diagnosis of LD. She may just prove them all wrong.

And one of these days, you're going to have to figure out how to post pics - we've STILL never seen any! :mad:


:hug:

[rainbowbright]

oops, my bad. It's actually called 'sensory processing disorder', not 'progression'. here is a site:

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/

We have to do what's called 'brushing' everytwo hours to stimulate blood to her nerves and it's working really well. I really hope she does prove them wrong.

Sorry, I keep begging my husband to put up pics, but he never does. I guess I will try to figure it out on my own

[Shubunkin]

The little "insert image" icon above the text form will allow you to search for an image on your hard drive to upload. Just make sure the image isn't too large of a file, and it should upload fine then.

[Xpycoctomos]

Has anyone here heard of the "Robinson" program for Homeschooling?

What are some of the more popular ones or does this very State to State?

[Thekla]

best, and prayers for you and yours :)