Self-Sacrificing Love (I think I get it)

[Loki]

Warning: the following post, contains spoilers for well-known stories, and is fragmented in thought.

Self-sacrificing Love

To love another, one's fellow man, as much as oneself so that one's own life may be offered as a sacrifice for the life of another. Self-effacing, all-consuming love for another.

John 3:16 is "the Christian soundbyte" (Stephen Colbert). Such consuming love of a deity for its creation that it was willing to sacrifice itself. Fr. Andrew Greeley says that the "bottom line" of what we must believe is that God is love, and that everything else follows naturally from that premise.

Harry Potter 7 spoilers HP7 and Mt 6 (http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2007/augustweb-only/131-43.0.html)

Harry willingly goes to his death, makes no attempt at self-preservation. As Lily's selfless love confers a blessing upon Harry, for whom she died, Harry's sacrifice for the good of all those who oppose Voldemort confers a blessing upon them.

And Aslan died in Edmund's stead, and made no effort to defend himself.

Neo goes to the source to save Zion, and doesn't expect to return.

St. Dominic heard of a famine in distant lands, and sold his most treasured possessions, his books, to try to help those in need. And he twice tried to sell himself into slavery to help those who needed help.

And against this love, death cannot prevail.

I think I finally get it. And I know I'm not capable of it.

"I am a sick man, a wicked man..."

I can help those who need help, and engage in self-sacrifice to an extent, but I can't love people the way I love my husband, for example. I can't feel that passionate about or devoted to those whom I help. And I must say that I'd put that love above all other love. Perhaps it's the passion of the young and newly-married, but my love for my husband transcends all other love I am capable of.

I guess I will just have to hope that God will forgive me this.

[boughtwithaprice]

We are only commanded to love others as we love ourselves. When I interact with others, I try to think of what I would like done to me in any given situation, and I try to do that for them. Are we called to have self sacrificing love to the point of death for everyone? I don't think so, but we are to stand in wonder at the love God has for us, because that is what He did.
I wouldn't worry that you can have passionate love only for your husband. If you had passionate love like that for everyone, then I would start to worry about you:P

St Dominic was a single man, and could do with his life as he wished. I am married and have pledged my sacrifice for my family. I cannot sacrifice all I have for the world, and leave my family in famine

[Rebekka]

I have warned my husband that if he ever gets the urge to be a hero, he should think of me and make the decision whether he wants to be a dead hero or a loving husband. It's up to him of course, and in some situations, sacrificing yourself is the only moral choice. But I think those situations are rare in that not everyone comes into such a situation in his or her life.

I know I am not heroic, but I do have my moments of throwing myself in front of cars to save the life of cats crossing a busy road (I can't stop myself, I can't watch a cat being killed). It's a rational decision because the cars will see me and stop. Cats often come out of nowhere, stopping is nearly impossible, it's soon too late. And when cats are worthy of being saved, people are even worthier. I think many people (if not all) will instinctively risk their lives to save a child from being killed by a car.

What I mean to say is, you don't know what you'll do until you're in a situation like that. And letting yourself be killed in someone else's stead (not just risking your life, but giving it) is not only the most heroic and loving thing to do but also so rare that it leaves people in awe. For single people it is an easier decision to make because they are their own, but those with a family must take the others into account. That's why St. Maximilian Kolbe gave his life for a married man with children.

[Catherineanne]

I can help those who need help, and engage in self-sacrifice to an extent, but I can't love people the way I love my husband, for example. I can't feel that passionate about or devoted to those whom I help. And I must say that I'd put that love above all other love. Perhaps it's the passion of the young and newly-married, but my love for my husband transcends all other love I am capable of.

I guess I will just have to hope that God will forgive me this.

Thomas More said before his death that he was not the stuff of which martyrs are made, yet when the time came he was able to face his death with resignation and even welcome it.

None of us know what is before us in life, whether we are called to live a long and healthy life and raise our children in peace, or whether we are called to die as witnesses to our faith. In the West the former is far more likely, but it is in some ways no easier than the latter.

God's will be done in either case.

[Caedmon]

Whoopsie, I initially read this thread as "Self-Loving Sacrifice," and almost posted something completely irrelevant. [/dyslexia]

[Loki]

Thank you all for your thoughtful responses and helping to keep me grounded.

Sometimes I get worried because 3 years ago, I was a dyed-in-the-wool bleeding heart, but now, I don't really care, or worse, I actively dislike a lot of people. I find it harder and harder to find the image of God in people. I read a lot of Steinbeck, and he seems to genuinely like and appreciate all sorts of people, and I can't do that.

[Protinus]

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"

[Loki]

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"

If you could tell me how to do this, that'd be great.

[Protinus]

If you could tell me how to do this, that'd be great.

It is not in the telling but in the sharing. Your thread reminded me of this passage. I find myself walled off from others when it appears that I am heavily involved with them. I do penance to avoid self worship...but find myself aloof at times ...even with those that are close to me.

[Loki]

It is not in the telling but in the sharing. Your thread reminded me of this passage. I find myself walled off from others when it appears that I am heavily involved with them. I do penance to avoid self worship...but find myself aloof at times ...even with those that are close to me.

I guess it's in the doing, but the doing can be hard, and is harder if one's heart isn't in it, or worse, with revulsion or disgust.

[Rebekka]

Jesus said in the Sermon on the Mount:

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?"
Thank you Protinus, I needed that. This is why I love Jesus, and I should try harder to be like Him. :)

[Fantine]

One of my cousins, a fireman, died in the WTC collapse on 9/11.

We were told that he and his team had completed their shift and were heading home when they heard the alarms and returned. They knew it was their job, their vocation, and didn't think twice about the danger.

I think that heroism has its rewards. Certainly the lives he saved during his years as a fireman must have given him a great sense of purpose and fulfillment. And the smaller sacrifices he made in his difficult and dangerous job built on one another and gave him a strong foundation of courage.

I guess that is true for most of us (not to the same degree.) Self-sacrifice usually gives us good feelings. When we make sacrifices in small ways, the good feelings we have build a foundation that allows us to sacrifice more.

Most of us are never called to lay down our lives, but we can still live a life of love.

After 9/11, this Bruce Springsteen song always brought tears to my eyes--"Into the Fire:"

You gave your love to see, in fields of red and autumn brown
You gave your love to me and lay your young body down
Up the stairs, into the fire
Up the stairs, into the fire
I need you near, but love and duty called you someplace higher
Somewhere up the stairs, into the fire

May your strength give us strength
May your faith give us faith
May your hope give us hope
May your love give us love

[Catherineanne]

If you could tell me how to do this, that'd be great.

If you want to love someone you find difficult, then you need to try to understand who they are, and why they believe and act as they do.

This does not mean that you have to agree with any of it, just that you take the time to find out what it is.

I would not start with people a long way away; that is too hard. Start with someone you know, who gets on your wick. Maybe take the time to talk with them, and get to know why they are so annoying. It might not work, but then again it might, and you lose nothing by trying.

In some ways it is about practice; the more you do it the easier it gets. But none of us has the emotional capacity to love the whole world. That is best left to God.