So I think I may have decided on a UMC church [Archive]

View Full Version : So I think I may have decided on a UMC church

Redheadedstepchild

8th July 2007, 12:30 AM

Maybe

I had no idea it would be so hard to find the right church...but then again my husband reminds me that it took me months to choose a color to paint our bathroom.^_^

I was really, really close to calling it a day and joining my friend's Pentecostal Holiness church. It meets my needs in a lot of ways. But then, I'd have to lie about my beliefs. I'm open to spirtual gifts, or at least I'm not willing to deny their presence, but I'm having a real hard time with the idea of a 2nd act of grace however. And my husband refuses to set foot in the place.:sigh:

Anyway, none of the many UMC churches I've visited have been a perfect fit, and in fact the one I think I'm going with has a serious flaw (in my mind) in that there's no Children's Church during the service. But, it's the only one that I feel called to join. I've struggled with this a bit but today I realized if I'm being called to be there then I have to go (duh). Hopefully the situation with my son will sort itself out, because I'm pretty sure strangling him during the service is frowned upon (ok, not that I would ever do that or anything).

They are having a meet & greet type thing tomorrow afternoon where I'll get to find out more about actually joining. Anyway, please keep me in your prayers that I'm going where God is leading me to be.

footprints1973

8th July 2007, 04:10 PM

Maybe

Anyway, none of the many UMC churches I've visited have been a perfect fit, and in fact the one I think I'm going with has a serious flaw (in my mind) in that there's no Children's Church during the service. But, it's the only one that I feel called to join. I've struggled with this a bit but today I realized if I'm being called to be there then I have to go (duh). Hopefully the situation with my son will sort itself out, because I'm pretty sure strangling him during the service is frowned upon (ok, not that I would ever do that or anything).

They are having a meet & greet type thing tomorrow afternoon where I'll get to find out more about actually joining. Anyway, please keep me in your prayers that I'm going where God is leading me to be.

By "strangling him" do you mean your husband or your son? LOL, I know u were kidding.

I feel that I've been called to the UMC too. I've been to two different churches. They were generally the same but I like the first to I went to first, because it seemed more a a good fit for me.

I've having a bit of trouble of getting my DH (darling husband) to go to any church with me now, he like me is a "lapsed Catholic" and now seems to be more of a deist. He's a very good man with good morals but is not so comfortable with organized religion.

Good luck at the meet and greet... God will always lead you in the right direction.

God Bless you and your family,
Laura

markbelieves

8th July 2007, 04:31 PM

Maybe this is why you feel called to that church. Perhaps you will be the one to start a childrens church? Are there many young ones in the congregation?

Redheadedstepchild

8th July 2007, 06:02 PM

By "strangling him" do you mean your husband or your son? LOL, I know u were kidding.

Both!:D

I feel that I've been called to the UMC too. I've been to two different churches. They were generally the same but I like the first to I went to first, because it seemed more a a good fit for me.

I was actually brought up UMC. But since I've been away from church for so long I thought it might be good for me to look at a variety of churches, and as it turns out I find that my beliefs actually line up pretty well with Methodism. I've been to 5 different UMCs since April, so I found a bit of variety. To be honest I thought I was looking for something really traditional but the I chose has more of a blended feel. Who knew?

I've having a bit of trouble of getting my DH (darling husband) to go to any church with me now, he like me is a "lapsed Catholic" and now seems to be more of a deist. He's a very good man with good morals but is not so comfortable with organized religion.

Yeah, this sounds like my husband too, only he was brought up Southern Baptist. He's gone with me a few times but isn't thrilled about it. He says he'll go with me occaisonally to be supportive, so I'm thankful for that.

Good luck at the meet and greet... God will always lead you in the right direction.

God Bless you and your family,
Laura

Thanks!

Redheadedstepchild

8th July 2007, 06:05 PM

Maybe this is why you feel called to that church. Perhaps you will be the one to start a childrens church? Are there many young ones in the congregation?
Well, I don't know about all that. The pastor and I have talked about it, and I know that it's been discussed there before. If nothing else I probably reaffirmed for him that there is a need. There are a lot of children there, and they have a strong children's ministry otherwise.

NordicLutheran

10th July 2007, 11:10 PM

You sound like a Lutheran!

Redheadedstepchild

10th July 2007, 11:57 PM

Speculative

11th July 2007, 07:21 PM

Hi redheadedstepchild:wave:

We're members of UMC church too. I think I'm a bit of a Southern Baptist at heart as well, but where I live there aren't any SBC's around.

So, we ended up going to a UMC as well. I can't say it's a perfect fit there for me either, but they fellowship and eat like Baptists, the coffee's good, and the kids love it, so that's where we are going to be.

Anyway I guess I just wanted to stop by and encourage you and say I hope everything goes well with you there.

God Bless:)

Redheadedstepchild

11th July 2007, 09:22 PM

Hi redheadedstepchild:wave:

Hi!

We're members of UMC church too. I think I'm a bit of a Southern Baptist at heart as well, but where I live there aren't any SBC's around.

So, we ended up going to a UMC as well. I can't say it's a perfect fit there for me either, but they fellowship and eat like Baptists, the coffee's good, and the kids love it, so that's where we are going to be.

Hard to argue with that!

Anyway I guess I just wanted to stop by and encourage you and say I hope everything goes well with you there.

God Bless:)

Thank you!!

GraceSeeker

12th July 2007, 12:03 PM

Is there such a thing as a perfect fit?

I'm a pastor, and I keep looking for one that fits me. But I realize that if I ever found the perfect church, they wouldn't want me for a pastor, and probably not a member either.

So, seriously, what is it that makes a church a perfect fit for you? My guess is that this will very greatly from person to person, for we all have such different needs, and see things in different ways. Plus, I remind us all that what is a perfect fit today might not fit at all a year or two from now. We continue to grow and mature in our faith and churches sometimes do that in ways different from their membership. So, what fits today may not fit tomorrow and vice versa.

Personally, I think that the keys to making a fit are being able to make connections with God and with other parishioners in a way that helps one to grow in grace and find opportunites for ministry and service. As a parent you look for this for both yourself and your family.

On another point, you may want to consider the pros and cons of children's church.

Pros:
1. Parents are better able to focus during the worship service when not having to supervise their child.
2. The child has a supervised experience that is designed for his/her attention span and level of spiritual development.

Cons:
1. Children often have a problem being reintegrated back into the worship experience when older and sometimes rebel at the whole concept of attending a church service not designed around them as "boring". Many never recover from that attitude, even as adults.
2. The church displaces the value of children from being a part of the whole to being only a specialized ministry and sometimes you end up with two different congregations trying to co-exist but not coming together as one.
3. The child fails to see adults as learners in a continual process of growing in Christ and can develop an attitude of "graduating" from the need for attending to the ordinances of God.
4. The child never actually learns how to sit still in church on their own, and thus never feels comfortable in "adult" church, which they don't have any personal connection to at the time they are considered too old to be in children's church.
5. Some children's church programs, really aren't about church or worship at all, but little more than glorified babysitting experiences.

Redheadedstepchild

12th July 2007, 12:16 PM

Actually, when I posted the OP it was to say that this is the church I've chosen, in spite of the flaws (one of which is the lack of children's church).

Bottom line, this was the church I am called to join. After some struggle I realized that the flaws I found were either a) a way for me to put off the decision I knew I had to make and/or b)learning opportunities.

The only other point I'd make is that while I do actually recognize and think that your pros and cons are valid I also know that each child is different and will have different learning (and by extension worship) needs. In my case, in the short term this is going to be a difficult transition for us but it will be good for the entire family in the long (and I mean LONG) run.

NordicLutheran

13th July 2007, 08:39 PM

Someone just posted here on this thread that I sound like a Lutheran, but for some reason I can't see the post. Weird. Anyway...

My mom was brought up Lutheran, and I've visited some area Lutheran churches in my search. I love the liturgy actually. I think the kyries and chants are cool. Mom joined an Episcopal church once we grew up and left home. She finds freedom in the structure, which I can understand. I actually thought I was looking for something similar until I spent time in the Pentecostal Holiness church. Now I see the value in a less traditional setting, where people are a little more free to worship in their own way. Aside from that, my beliefs are really more in line with the UMC.:)
Cool I just read your a band geek! I totally am too! Well basically if you believe in the innerancy of the bible and believe in the real presence of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Lord's Supper and your German or Scandinavian then by default your Lutheran :). And don't worry Methodist forum I'm outta here :).

GraceSeeker

14th July 2007, 05:25 PM

Cool I just read your a band geek! I totally am too! Well basically if you believe in the innerancy of the bible and believe in the real presence of our Lord Jesus Christ in the Lord's Supper and your German or Scandinavian then by default your Lutheran :). And don't worry Methodist forum I'm outta here :).

Well, if you sing a chorus of "Borning Cry" for me, maybe we'll let you stay. I took a leave of absence from the UMC for about 4 years and served a Lutheran Church (ELCA) during that time. I really miss that hymn in particular.

NordicLutheran

15th July 2007, 02:03 AM

Well, if you sing a chorus of "Borning Cry" for me, maybe we'll let you stay. I took a leave of absence from the UMC for about 4 years and served a Lutheran Church (ELCA) during that time. I really miss that hymn in particular.
Well I am from the LCMS and loving every second of it. Haven't heard that hymn before, but definitley my favorite hymn is Be Still My Soul. Got any links where I can hear that hymn? Why'd you go to the dark side(lutheranism) for four years lol!?

GraceSeeker

15th July 2007, 10:08 AM

Well I am from the LCMS and loving every second of it. Haven't heard that hymn before, but definitley my favorite hymn is Be Still My Soul. Got any links where I can hear that hymn? Why'd you go to the dark side(lutheranism) for four years lol!?

hmmm?

I could find the lyrics lots of places, but not the song with the music. Sorry. It's in lots of hymnals under the full name of "I Was There to Hear Your Borning Cry".

Here's an idea, this link http://http://home.stx.rr.com/jthurston/Rev.%20Milo%20Dailey%20-%20Obit.htm will get you to the music and I'll print the words below:

I was there to hear your borning cry,
I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized
to see your life unfold.

I was there when you were but a child,
with a faith to suit you well;
in a blaze of light you wandered off
to find where demons dwell.

When you heard the wonder of the Word
I was there to cheer you on;
you were raised to praise the living Lord,
to whom you now belong.

If you find someone to share your time
and you join your hearts as one,
I'll be there to make your verses rhyme
from dusk til rising sun.

In the middle ages of your life,
not too old, no longer young,
I'll be there to guide you through the night,
complete what I've begun.

When the evening gently closes in
and you shut your weary eyes,
I'll be there as I have always been
with just one more surprise.

I was there to hear your borning cry,
I'll be there when you are old.
I rejoiced the day you were baptized,
to see your life unfold.

NordicLutheran

15th July 2007, 01:38 PM

Cool thanks

Redheadedstepchild

7th October 2007, 11:51 PM

footprints1973

8th October 2007, 08:12 PM

Bump for footprints...

Here's the link to another thread I started on another part of this forum: Coming back to church (http://foru.ms/t5469812&page=2)

Incidentally, DS and I are still struggling with the no children's church issue. Some days are better than others. If nothing else, I am learning to be patient!

Also, DH is pretty much not attending church at all right now. A suggestion was made on the other thread that it would probably be a good idea to find a church based on my needs rather than trying to make DH feel comfortable since he really wasn't that interested in being there anyway. I struggled with that a bit. Luckily, the church I joined is one that DH would at least set foot in. I know that we may have to re-evaluate where we go if DH ever decides he's ready to be in church again. We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. ;)
Yeah, I know how that is...my DH is not going to church with me right now either. He wants me to do the "church shopping". I went to a couple of Nazarene services, and I know he won't go there. I myself felt slightly uncomfortable at the services, even though the people were nice, it might have just been that particular church that made me feel anxiety-filled, I have no idea what my problem is!

There's a UMC church I haven't been to yet that has a "Blended" service (contemporary and traditional worship). I think I would like that and my husband would too. Nothing too flashy, yet not same ol same ol. Fortuanately, their website states they have both a nursery and Sunday school. My husband likes the description of the UMC having open minds, etc, especially after talking with a Methodist minister. I think his issue is with some churches insisting very strongly on tithing for "buildling funds" week after week...as do I..but that's for another thread!

Many blessings to you!
Laura

GraceSeeker

8th October 2007, 08:14 PM

I think his issue is with some churches insisting very strongly on tithing for "buildling funds" week after week...as do I..but that's for another thread!

Many blessings to you!
Laura

What do you mean "tithing for 'bulding funds' "? Is this something distinct from regular tithing? Or is the objection to the whole notion of a church preaching tithing to begin with?

footprints1973

8th October 2007, 08:50 PM

What do you mean "tithing for 'bulding funds' "? Is this something distinct from regular tithing? Or is the objection to the whole notion of a church preaching tithing to begin with?

No, I have no problem with the tithing part per se. But the times I was at this particular church, when the pastor was talking about tithing, he kept mentioning about how they stilll needed to pay for this and that in the building (which was pretty much a big, new state-of-the art building). I was just kind of irritated, because I know the church needs to pay for its resources and workers, but there was little mention of the poor families in the local communities, and how tithing could help them.

Laura

Redheadedstepchild

8th October 2007, 09:35 PM

No, I have no problem with the tithing part per se. But the times I was at this particular church, when the pastor was talking about tithing, he kept mentioning about how they stilll needed to pay for this and that in the building (which was pretty much a big, new state-of-the art building). I was just kind of irritated, because I know the church needs to pay for its resources and workers, but there was little mention of the poor families in the local communities, and how tithing could help them.

Laura
That really, really bothers me too. In fact, it's one of the reasons I stayed away from church for so long...my home church is huge and always adding on.

Anyhow, stewardship Sunday is coming up, so the last few sermons have been about tithing...I think this might be a universal thing during this time for UMCs - just so you know.

Let us know how you like the blended UMC...

GraceSeeker

8th October 2007, 10:13 PM

That really, really bothers me too. In fact, it's one of the reasons I stayed away from church for so long...my home church is huge and always adding on.

Anyhow, stewardship Sunday is coming up, so the last few sermons have been about tithing...I think this might be a universal thing during this time for UMCs - just so you know.

Let us know how you like the blended UMC...

It might be. But you would be really uncomfortable in my church. I never preach on tithing 10%. I don't think that 10% is what is asked of a Christian. The Old Testament talks about tithing 10%, but in the New Testament, what Jesus asks for isn't 10%. He asks for it all. The widow who gave her mite, was honored because she gave her all. And that is what he asked of the rich young ruler as well, who went away sad because he was unwilling to do that. You never see Jesus ask for just 10%.