Coming back home.. What am I going to do?

[newcarl]

good mornining ,
This morning ive redeadicated my life to serve the Lord...Yet agian( which Im not proud of) any way I am kind of worried about How do I tell my family..I can just see it now "okay dad's holy for how long this time" Thats why I really havnt come back becuase I always fail. I am thankful that Ive come back but now I have all this "cleaning" up to do.
What am I so' to do? tell my family no not that show, (you fill in blank) when just last week it was ok to watch listen, do etc:help:
I have repented for all my sins as much as I can honestly rember and know Im forgiven but how do you lead your family back to the lord. Im just so sad and hurt by what I have done to them by not being a better christian. Please help with any ideas

[Aredhel]

I was the same way, constantly rededicating myself over and over again, and sick of myself for it.
Obviously, I am quite a bit younger than you are, and my issues did not spring from my family, but rather from myself. I had to change everything, and two months later i still haven't finished yet, lol.
What I did was I had a Christian friend who met with me once a week and talked to me about it. Every week she would give me one or two things to do which I could use as small steps in cleaning up my act. One week I would concentrate on drinking, then on sexual stuff, then on music and t.v, then on behavior around other people, etc.
If you could find someone Christian to discuss it with (pastor maybe, or a good Christian friend) perhaps they could help you to simplify things and get a better picture of exactly what needs to be done, and you could plan out how to do it.
Hope this helps you out some.

[Elijah2]

Well mate, I can understand how you feel. We old fellows carry a lot of bruises and scars from many mistakes we make in life.

The most important three little words are: I am wrong, I made a mistake, Please forgive me, I forgive you and I love you.

Those words to your family may begin that recovery that you so much desire.

Remember that hurt is deep, and it takes some time to forgive or trust another love one, when the bruises are still deep.

Ask your family for forgiveness, and if they say that they can't then just keep praying and keep on being who you can through our Lord Jesus Christ.

Sadly, there is no "quick-fix", but maybe a good Christian counsellor will be able to help you.

[heymikey80]

good mornining ,
This morning ive redeadicated my life to serve the Lord...Yet agian( which Im not proud of) any way I am kind of worried about How do I tell my family..I can just see it now "okay dad's holy for how long this time" Thats why I really havnt come back becuase I always fail. I am thankful that Ive come back but now I have all this "cleaning" up to do.
What am I so' to do? tell my family no not that show, (you fill in blank) when just last week it was ok to watch listen, do etc:help:
I have repented for all my sins as much as I can honestly rember and know Im forgiven but how do you lead your family back to the lord. Im just so sad and hurt by what I have done to them by not being a better christian. Please help with any ideas
I feel so much a kin to you right now.

Here, here's some things. Your kids need some authority while they're kids, okay. But older kids need more than that.

Take out a piece of paper and write your kids' ages down the left margin.

Now write "18 - Free" in the right margin. How many years in between? How are you going to get the most redemptive stuff in their lives in the time you have left?

Redemption is not always separation from people, either. They need plugging into a group that can help them -- and that may mean you'll need to chuck your own growth a bit to give them a place where they can really grow in Christ. Find the stuff for them. Reach out to them. Love them. (But don't smother them! Tough, I know.)

If they're teens, can I recommend a book for you? It's called "Age of Opportunity" by Paul Tripp.

I'm not sure, but it may throw a blinding light on you as well -- why you keep bouncing between "holy" and "corrupted", and not finding that ... redemptiveness ... that saturates Jesus Christ of the Gospel.

Maybe it'll help you work with your kids too, even if they're a bit pre-teen.

[twistedsketch]

This is by no means complete, but if you make this change last, they will notice it and respect you for it. It's probably going to take years, but it's worth it. It's not optional. Ask forgiveness for whatever you need to from everybody, and show them that you mean business. My dad showed some significant changes, which have turned out to be permanent - the last 10 years have improved my opinion of him significantly. He's still not a perfect man by any stretch, but he has improved, and I can see that he tries. The latter part is huge - not just the results I've seen in his life because of it, but knowing that he really does try. If he tries, that means he loves us, he sees his faults, and cares enough to put all that into some sort of action. Wherever your kids are at now, they will reach a point where they recognize this and appreciate it, as I have. Just be in their lives, and make your love for them visible.

[heymikey80]

Wow, I really appreciate your words here, twistedsketch. They triggered memories of something I should be applying more carefully that I learned long ago, and was modeled to me as well.

newcarl, one of my mentors stressed that people will see your repentance and change when you are the fastest repenter; and when you are the most profound, deepest repenter. Jesus illustrated this along with other points of care for others in Mt 18:8-14. But a warning: when we do this it will make us feel insulted because we focus on ourselves. If we look instead at the insult our defiance is to the Christ we love so much, I've found that feeling shatters.

To be trusted in our walk we must remain humble and not think highly of ourselves, but think by far the most highly of what we see is most important -- Christ and what's right -- even when we're on the wrong side of this equation, and when we need to repent.